I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

12

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

stepLINK July 12/07

It’s 2 of my friends birthday’s today, but I can’t go out and get drunk with them because I have to get up early and post shit here, so all 3 of you reading out there have something to help you
waste time at your job which I know you hate. If you guys are reading this, happy birthday Andrew and Corey, and I hope you both get drunk and laid tonight

On the bright side, it is summer Vacation and I still have a shitload of time off before school starts in the fall. I’m not really looking forward to college to be honest. It seems like a bigger, shittier version of highschool, that I have to pay thousands of dollars for which I don’t have, and neither do my parents. Somehow having to pay to get pushed around by bitchy chicks who hate me and getting yelled at by asshole teachers who hate their lives and take it out on their students just doesn’t add up. I’m not saying I don’t like to learn, and that I think school is pointless, cause I don’t, I’m smarter then that. But somewhere along the line I think the mechanics of what students are actually supposed to be doing there got lost along the way. Kegs parties seem cool I guess.

Working for other people is not something that interests me. I have a job at Dairy Queen and I can’t fucking stand it. I can’t even imagine working in an office. You go to a job you hate, and socialize with people that under ordinary circumstances you would never, ever talk to, politely saying hi to them every time you pass their desk, and wanting to smash the pictures of their family on the flooe every time you see them. You bite your tongue every time the twenty times a day your boss yells at you for not doing shit right, then the weekend comes and you blow all your money on booze and coke just to feel normal again.

Here’s the links. Click them and I will be your best friend.


Bobby Brown falls off the wagon again. I am shocked. SHOCKED.
GO

Rumer Willis’ friends will kick the shit out of you.
GO

Schoolgirl with a dirty mouth even I can’t compete with.
GO

Adult sex in a playpen is weird, but you’re a perv and like stuff like that. (NSFW)
GO

Bored kid at a George Bush Speech.
GO

Russian Hobo Sex. (NSFW)
GO

Kelly Rowland in King Magazine.
GO

Tall people who marry short people are fun to stare at.
GO

Some idiot jumps from a roof to a trampoline and gets hurt.
GO

Michael Jordan was the best basketball player ever.
GO

Jim Carrey needs haircut, but at least he still has hair.
GO

Britney Spears is selling her house. Maybe she will move into a hotel permanently.
GO

Some girl getting naked for the camera. NSFW)
GO

Planes crashing into boats! Awesome!
GO

Co-Co’s body is weird looking, but her juggs are huge, so who cares.
GO

This guys girlfriend is pretty fine. (NSFW)
GO

Car racing is stupid, but the chicks that endose it are hot.
GO

Free loaders guide to easy living
GO

This girl really, really likes her Bikini. You will really, really like her ass.
GO

Kendra Wilknoson is a Yeti
GO

Some chick from CSI nipslip.
GO

Some nice boobs chosen by gay guys, so you know they are good. (NSFW)
GO

Lucy Pinder topless scans. (NSFW)
GO

Vickie Blows is the kind of girl you will never get to touch ever.
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart (NSFW)
GO

Photo Bucket Nudies. Scroll down for the goods. (NSFW)
Thanks to Rogue Collector
GO

A Camilla Sjoberg Picture Moment.
GO

Leticia Cline in pink lingerie
GO

Hot chick gets owned.
GO

Adriana Lima Appreciation
GO

Miss New Jersey naughty photos revealed. They aren’t really that naughty.
GO

Gymnastics is stupid. Or is it Gymnastics are stupid.
GO

Eva Mendez pink bikini
GO

David Beckhams schlong is bigger then yours is.
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart (NSFW)
GO

Paris Hilton is famous, Kelly Clarkson isn’t.
GO

Ivanka Trump says no to The View, because she knows she is a million times better then that godforsaken piece of shit show.
GO

The only thing fake about Jessica Simpson is her celebrity.
GO

Hot Asian Girl of the Week
GO

Courteny Love trashes a hotel room, cause she’s a badass like that.
GO

Kids with guns are funny, especially when they shoot fat kids.
GO

Where in the world is Michael Richards?
GO

Hilary Duff has an eating disorder. I have one right now, but nobody cares.
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Find sex from the comfort of your own home.
GO

Stop emailing me for sex, and use this instead, loser.
GO

Show me you links, and I’ll show you mine.
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Geriatric Aerobics of the Day

I’m only 18 and narrow minded so I think old people doing pretty much anything is funny. the thing I hate the most is those bitter old people, who complain about everything and think everyone in the world owes them something because they are old. That’s bullshit. My friend is a weed dealer, and sells to this old lady we all call “Gramma”. She can smoke any of you lot under the table, has a mouth like a trucker and is fukking happy every time I see her. She’s lived a great life, and despite it’s ups and downs, maintains a pretty happy outlook on things. She’s gonna die pretty soon I bet. That’s not so happy.

Posted in:stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Young Cameron Diaz Topless + Semi-Upskirt of the Day

Cameron Diaz Topless
My stepfather’s one final request he made before he left was that I was to find as many bikini, topless, and upskirt photos as I could. These photos, and these photos only, were to take priority over anything else regardless of anything else happening is Hollywood. Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan were high on heroin and ran over a pack of pre-schoolers in their BMWs? Doesn’t matter. Britney Spears put Sean Preston on the BBQ? Doesn’t matter. And with that, I would like to dedicate this post to my stepfather, Jesus Martinez, who taught me everything I know.

I have no problem taking over the family business while Jesus as gone. I’m still learning the ropes, but I’m getting the hang of things fast I think. I feel lucky that my family has something I take interest in and can participate in actively. A friend of mine recently went to work for his father too. Their family business totally fits with his personal interests, but he had a real hard time making the decision to finally take the job there. He comes from a pretty wealthy family, but he’s one of those backwards rich kids where instead of wanting to take everything his parents give him and live like a hog in the fat house, he wants to make it on his own or some bullshit. I didn’t really understand that when he explained it, because my all parents ever gave me was a good ass kicking when I came in after curfew and enough psychological problems that I am going to be in therapy until I die.


Related Posts

I am – Cameron Diaz Hot Legs of the Day
GO

I am – Cameron Diaz Publis Drunk of the Day
GO

I am – Cameron Diaz Doesn’t Wear a Bra of the Day
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – There Are Too Many Brittanys of the Day

Brittany Murphy Header

About two months ago I discovered downing Vicodin with my coffee before work was a good plan.About two months ago Brittany Murphy decided marrying some swollen con-artist named Simon Monjack who wants a Visa and her “Clueless”/”Uptown Girls” cash was a good idea. I think I win on this one. Even his name sounds like some pyramid-scheme for a casino bordering a lovely abandoned reservoir presently storing overflow from the neighboring sewage treatment plant.

Anway this is Mrs. Monjack née Murphy exiting a hair salon in LA or whatever. I know a thing or two about hair salons, and the point is you are supposed to come out looking like a princess and not a barely-pubescent boy from New Jersey who is just getting his feet wet with the whole hipster phenomenon. Which also explains the damn Ramones shirt. I loved that shirt back in 2002 more than I loved my morning after pills. But it is tired, over-exposed, and was bludgeoned to death with a bar of soap in a sock behind a stall in the dank, indoor-outhouse bathroom of CBGBs. I saw two dudes with this on yesterday in the same 4 block radius and wanted to hurt them, and not in the ways Zeki enjoyed.

As for Brittany Murphy’s career, she was amazing in “the Dead Girl.” This is my serious face, now. Either that was some top-notch acting talent or she is just vaguely-prescient and her subconscious was training her to be a highway hooker, her subsconscious being aware of her impending ruin and all: the sunny spring day when Monjack splits for Cyprus with both her earnings and sexy Ramones shirt.

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell

EMAIL ME HERE


Related Posts

I am – Brittany Murphy Does Penguins of the Day
GO

I am – Brittany Murphy Does Ballet of the Day
GO

I am – Mung Does Vegas of the Day
GO

Posted in:Brittany Murphy|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Abigail Clancy Topless on a Yacht

Abigail Clancy topless on a yacht. Apparently she’s a catwalk and lingerie model. Sounds like a perfect candidate for rich guys to hire her as their girlfriend to fuck. She’s from the UK, so those rich guys are likely soccer players, or what she calls Football players, who charter these yachts for aspiring models no one has ever heard of to pose topless on for the paparazzi. It helps everyone involved.

I figure that anyone who doesn’t look repulsive in a bikini and has cause to be on a yacht is worth my attention….only because I can put them in my internet database of gold diggers if ever I get rich, only that won’t work, because by then there will be a whole new breed of “Lingerie” and “catwalk” models…

Now let me upload the pics, unless I fall asleep, which happens. I’m drunk and this is boring…but tits….look at those tits!


Related Posts
I am – Brooke Sheenan Slutty Dress of the Day
GO

I am – Dita Von Tease Doing Her Routine in Tokyo of the Day
GO

I am – America’s Next Top Model Melrose Topless of the Day
GO

Posted in:Abigail Clancy|Models|Tits|Topless|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Brittany Snow Forgot Her Milk Jug of Gasoline of the Day

Brittany Snow at Hairspray Premiere

Sugar Nell again. I have a bone to pick with this unmuzzled wench, Brittany Snow, and it all started back in 2003 when my Turkish ex-pimp Zeki was stealing cable so we could get a better picture because let’s face it, bunny ears don’t do shit, and you are nothing with out even basic cable. NOTHING. One fine fall evening, Zeki let us girls have an hour of TV-time before he appropriated our lady-parts for his financial gain. This piss-poor show “American Dreams” came on… Oh Miss Snow. My beef with her is not that she looks like some genetic-wizard’s wacky hybrid of a poorman’s new-nose Ashlee Simpson and Tara Reid on a good day, but that she is a terrible actress. I will give it to her–she has rock hard abs, skinny hips that are on the cusp of tranny, is skinny, but looks like she should be steeling gasoline in a plastic milk jug from the Esso so she and her pals can huff the pain away.

In a not completely unrelated story, Snow looks like the best looking/ friendliest stripper at this boondock slag-shack in upstate New York that I visited post-Zeki, when i began my adventure on the Community College track. I had heard this place had “Amateur Night” every night. So one sad Tuesday my friend and my professor decided to move the malt-liquor marathon on to this aforementioned palace of peekaboo-poonani, which of course, was so classy it did not have a liquor license (awesome), yet managed to have white powder lining the nostrils of every dancer there (and bitches wouldn’t share, most of which were big and brokedown, so its not like it was going to good use). The three of us and a weathered rail-of-a-man romancing his 7up were the only patrons in this fairly un-exciting shit-shanty. So my friend and I jump on the stage (because every night is amateur night) and it’s like suddenly the strippers have a new lease on life, start zealously tutoring us in the art of “pole”: we were their Matt Damon to their Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting. I don’t know who was Minnie Driver. We made two bucks off our community college professor, three off the old man with the 7up, and we were offered a job.

And a stripper who looked like Brittany Snow made it all happen…

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell
Email Me

I couldn’t find related posts on this bitch, so here’s some random ones I found under Tits.

I am – Jessica Simpson in a Blue Dress of the Day
GO

I am – Michelle Marsh Has Huge Tits of the Day GO

I am – Pam Anderson’s Tits Do Magic of the Day
GO

Posted in:Brittany Snow|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Paris Hilton is Full of Herself of the Day

Paris Hilton in a Warhol Style Shirt

I honestly don’t have much to write about this, but what I do have to say is I was talking about Warhol earlier today HERE and the whole “Everyone Will Be Famous for 15 Minutes� thing, and here comes Paris Hilton wearing a Warhol-style shirt with her own face on it. Yes, I am a psychic genius, and no, you can’t have my phone number.


Related Posts

I am – Paris Hilton’s Legs Buy Spiritual Books of the Day
GO

I am – Paris Hiltons Fake Tits of the Day
GO

I am – Paris Hilton Eats Ice Cream With Fat Dude of the Day
GO

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Britney Spears at a Hotel of the Day

Britney Spears at Hotel

Here’s Britney Spears at a hotel in a Beverly Hills, which makes no sense to me whatsoever because as far as I know she has a house in Malibu or Los Angeles or something other really nice place I will probably never get to go, let alone live.

When I was about 8 or so, I knew this kid who always wanted to sleep over. Like, all the time. My house sucked, we never had good snacks, and the only toy I had was a dirty stuffed rabbit I got from from some relative that came over once and never came back, possibly my real father.

Meanwhile, this kid had a pool and a kitchen so filled with food it was like a restaurant, complete with a Nanny who would cook whatever we wanted while we sat and played video games. I asked her one day about it, and she told me that she thought my parents were “cooler”. Only through the eyes of an 8 year old can extreme obiesity and alcoholism be viewed as cool.

I never really understood that, and I don’t understand this thing with Britney Spears now. I’m sure this hotel is nice, but I am also fucking positive that the multi-million dollar house she owns is way fucking nicer.


Related Posts

I am – Britney Spears Goes Out in Her Bra of the Day
GO

I am – Britney Spears Tits in Public of the Day
GO

I am – Britney Spears Bikini Ass of the Day
GO

Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Amanda Bynes’ Zellwegger Face of the Day

Amanda Bynes Zellweger Face

One of Jesus’ old flames agreed to help me out with the site in his absence. She’s a fine lady, and I hope all of you will treat her with the decency and respect you have treated me since I started here. And by decency and respect I mean name calling and sending her full frontal nudes.

Hi there, my name is “Sugar� Nell and I am one of Jesus’ ex-hooker friends he got pregnant back in the day (but a steady diet of liquor and Oxycontin solved that little mishap). I am gonna be assisting his lovely stepdaughter Marie-Eve while he is away Cruise’n + Booze’n, because he helped me out when I finally took care of my Turkish pimp, Zeki (it involved spiking his Raki with anti-freeze, which didn’t kill him, but layed him up in the county hospital for a few weeks…

These are pictures of Amanda Bynes promoting the queef-fest that is the remake of Hairspray on some show that is probably German or Belgian, one of those faux-TRLs that eats up American B actors with bloated Zellwegger-esque faces and bottle blonde hair like a fat Detroit autoworker inhales his sacred Hoagies (or cheese-steaks or whatever the hell they eat in Detroit, which is one of our fattest cities here in the States, or at least it should be).

The point is Bynes isn’t bad looking, she is attractive in a corn-fed kind of “I am a slim Midwestern Girl who discovered Sun-In and Fake-Tan� way. But her face is so damn big it reminds me of the girl I knew from Zeki’s harem that tried to get off coke because it was fucking up her nosejob. She took up Bulimia instead, which was hell on the pipes in the basement apartment/ boiler-room we called home, to which Zeki possessed the only key. The slut went from having elfin facial features to a big-ass Moonface over night. Seriously. I am sure Bynes isn’t bulimic, but I am saying that looking at her face is like discovering a new planet. She is all make-up, and she should perhaps lay off the salt. And she is one of those annoying Nickelodeon child-star comedians that should have all been rounded up and drowned as babies.

Zeki was not thrilled with Moonface’s makeover, and Zeki would not be pleased with Bynes either. But alas, Zeki is no more… but that is another story, for another time…

Obediently yours (because I am still afraid of being beaten)

Sugar Nell
Email Me

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Amanda Bynes' Zellwegger Face of the Day

Amanda Bynes Zellweger Face

One of Jesus’ old flames agreed to help me out with the site in his absence. She’s a fine lady, and I hope all of you will treat her with the decency and respect you have treated me since I started here. And by decency and respect I mean name calling and sending her full frontal nudes.

Hi there, my name is “Sugar” Nell and I am one of Jesus’ ex-hooker friends he got pregnant back in the day (but a steady diet of liquor and Oxycontin solved that little mishap). I am gonna be assisting his lovely stepdaughter Marie-Eve while he is away Cruise’n + Booze’n, because he helped me out when I finally took care of my Turkish pimp, Zeki (it involved spiking his Raki with anti-freeze, which didn’t kill him, but layed him up in the county hospital for a few weeks…

These are pictures of Amanda Bynes promoting the queef-fest that is the remake of Hairspray on some show that is probably German or Belgian, one of those faux-TRLs that eats up American B actors with bloated Zellwegger-esque faces and bottle blonde hair like a fat Detroit autoworker inhales his sacred Hoagies (or cheese-steaks or whatever the hell they eat in Detroit, which is one of our fattest cities here in the States, or at least it should be).

The point is Bynes isn’t bad looking, she is attractive in a corn-fed kind of “I am a slim Midwestern Girl who discovered Sun-In and Fake-Tan” way. But her face is so damn big it reminds me of the girl I knew from Zeki’s harem that tried to get off coke because it was fucking up her nosejob. She took up Bulimia instead, which was hell on the pipes in the basement apartment/ boiler-room we called home, to which Zeki possessed the only key. The slut went from having elfin facial features to a big-ass Moonface over night. Seriously. I am sure Bynes isn’t bulimic, but I am saying that looking at her face is like discovering a new planet. She is all make-up, and she should perhaps lay off the salt. And she is one of those annoying Nickelodeon child-star comedians that should have all been rounded up and drowned as babies.

Zeki was not thrilled with Moonface’s makeover, and Zeki would not be pleased with Bynes either. But alas, Zeki is no more… but that is another story, for another time…

Obediently yours (because I am still afraid of being beaten)

Sugar Nell
Email Me

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Uncategorized|Unsorted