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I am not here to write about fat bitches and how disgusting they are. One reason is because I am married to a really fat bitch, and I know all too well why they fucking suck, but the main reason I don’t want to write about this fat bitch is because it’s mean. I don’t feel like I am any authority on healthy living and if this bitch wants to spend her life emotionally eating because she hates herself and going fucking nuts on the bucket of fried chicken night after night at her black drug dealing boyfriend’s house, I say let her. I don’t think cocaine is the drug for her to be fucking for, maybe her shirt should read “will fuck for an exercise bike” or “will fuck for diet pills” or “can’t really fuck, I am too fat, but I will suck dick for a personal trainer, but I may fall asleep halfway through it, cuz I am fat and fucking lazy”. I guess the last one was too long and the real issue is that we all know some poor drunken fool ended up gaving this bitch coke for sex, all while his friends coordinated it on the sidelines, and he was too drunk to turn it down. I can guarantee this slob would have put out for free. Fat girls are lonely and they use sex as a means to feel some level of selfworth. That’s why they are easy…but nothing in life is easy, fucking a fat chick takes good physical condition, it’s like swimming in mash potatoes, but if it was really mash potatoes, bitch would have already eaten herself…she’s that hungry. All the fucking time. Fat Bitch.

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George Best was a soccer player. People said he threw his life aways because of his alcoholism. This is his wife Alex Best who he was married to when he died. Probably the last pussy he got. It got me thinking , dude’s the best soccer player in the league or something, I am not going to pretend I know anything about sports, but when he died, all I heard was how he was some kind of legend. During his time at the top he was a boozer, he drank hard, played drunk, made millions of dollars, fucked prime pussy, died young enough to not be shittin’ himself in a home somewhere, so the point of the story is that you are throwing your life away…especially if you’re working the 9-5 grind and fucking the same old rag of a wife – week after week for 20 years all while saving for retirement…raising unappreciative kids who mooch off you, eventually dying young from cancer caused by the stress of trying to provide for a family….and smile through a miserable, pointless useless existance…

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George Best was a soccer player. People said he threw his life aways because of his alcoholism. This is his wife Alex Best who he was married to when he died. Probably the last pussy he got. It got me thinking , dude’s the best soccer player in the league or something, I am not going to pretend I know anything about sports, but when he died, all I heard was how he was some kind of legend. During his time at the top he was a boozer, he drank hard, played drunk, made millions of dollars, fucked prime pussy, died young enough to not be shittin’ himself in a home somewhere, so the point of the story is that you are throwing your life away…especially if you’re working the 9-5 grind and fucking the same old rag of a wife – week after week for 20 years all while saving for retirement…raising unappreciative kids who mooch off you, eventually dying young from cancer caused by the stress of trying to provide for a family….and smile through a miserable, pointless useless existance…

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I don’t know either of these people, and I am not really into the whole sheer top for anyone who isn’t a 17 year old girl with no bra on caught in a rainstorm. But the fact is these guys are working together towards something new. Their combined efforts is nothing to laugh at, just maybe feel a little awkward about, especially if the couple on the left is your mom and dad, how fucking embarassing is that for you? The guy looks like a tow truck driver or someone too butch to rock a sheer top. He looks like he would beat up the fag in the sheer shorts, if they were to cross paths in a dark alley, or bath house. I am assuming they aren’t his daughters, because daughters generally don’t stick by daddy’s side, when daddy’s exposing his penis….based on personal experience, pulling out my dick around the step kids is always a mistake.

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Today, I was asked if I ever get mistaken for someone with Torrets Syndrome, because I asked a bitch if she let dude’s cum inside her. She went on to tell me that a dude in her highschool class with Downs Syndrome, used to talk the same way I talk, which makes one ask the question, why are you in class with a Retard? Is it because you have Downs Syndrome too, or is it just a learning disorder? Retard, the point is that people do think i need psychiatric help and that I am weird because I write the shit I do on the internet…but the shit I write is just jokes. The funny thing is that the very same people who are telling me this are the ones that behind closed doors are begging their girl’s to fist them, or their boys to fuck up the ass, or spank them, or dominate them, or fucking shit on them, or they are cheating on their significant others, or they are getting back alley abortions, or they aren’t using condoms, point of the fucking stroy is that you motherfucker’s are just as fucking weird as me, I just write about it, and laugh about it all while you pieces of shit are living it…because I denounced sex when my penis broke and I married a fat bitch 5 years ago…..

Point of this post is that I am not the issue in society, society is the issue. I spent about 1 hour of my life watching the Juno Awards last night. It’s a Canadian piece of shit that honors cunts like Michael Buble. Pam Anderson was the useless plastic tittied host, and there were no bitches I wanted to fuck . Canadian music isn’t all bad, but it is when it’s all together in one room. In lobster country. Now this is what people should be concerned with, because I find it much more offensive and embarassing than the shit I write daily.

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I wrote to Christie Hefner, Hugh’s daughter and president of the company saying that they need me to write an article for their magazine. This is the response I got:

Hi Jesus.

Christie passed your note along to Chris Napolitano, who runs the magazine,
and myself. You’re site is quite provocative, but it’s not really right for
us. Feel free to keep me in the loop on your future projects.

Thanks a lot. — jdt

John D. Thomas
Editor of Playboy.com

Not only do my readers hate me, but now Playboy does too. They won’t give me a DrunkenStepfather article because I am not right for them. So today is the day I realize that I will never amount to shit because mainstream media just doesn’t accept me….I guess the only good in all this is that I didn’t really want an article, I was just testing to see if Christie’s email actually worked.

Feel free to email John D. Thomas, Editor of Playboy if you feel like he made the wrong decision and that DrunkenStepfather.com should have an Article in their magazine. At least 50 of you useless fucks like me, so email them demanding he change his mind.

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The girls grew up on this show despite the hours I spent fighting with them over it. I learned to just sit back and take it. I figured it was my responsibility to buy a second TV, but that meant sacrificing booze for a month, something I wouldn’t do. So I did what every self respecting man does, I sat back and got wasted while watching Caroline Rhea’s fatty tits bounce around. I know when I was in my early 20s this wouldn’t have been my dream friday night, but life sucks, I just learnt to accept it, with Sabrina the Teenage witch and a bottle of Jack….Anyway, I always thought Sabrina was busted with her chubby awkward body and face that look like the disgusting 14 pound shit I just took…I am not healthy. I don’t know if it was actually 14 pounds, but it was some next level shit. Point of the story is that Sabrina the Teenage Witch is fat.

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So I get one TV channel, and that TV channel happens to have the Canadian rights to American Idol. I also have one shitty TV and two step-daughters, who watch American Idol. I am usually drunk on the couch by 8 pm, so I watch it. The reason I am drunk at 8 pm is cuz I start drinking around now. The point of the post is to say Kellie Pickler is jokes. She can barely sing, she looks good enough, she’s white trash and poor, has a daddy in jail and a momma dead, a sick grandaddy and bitch doesn’t know what calamars is….I am a fucking drunken, useless mexican piece of shit…and I know what calamars is….anyway these are her highschool prom pics, dressed like some kind of slut, I guess she’s lucky Idol hit, cuz the rest of the girls in her town are already knocked up and ready to drop….poor bitches don’t like to wait too long after their 16th birthday before having babies. That’s my story that’s not really a story. I am useless right now.

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