Unsorted Archives - Page 336 of 511 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2006

21

Feb

Paris Hilton’s Ass

Paris Hilton still has an ass, not a very good one, but one to poop with. That means the infection wasn’t bad enough to get the doctor’s to sew that shit up, strap bitch up with a colostomy bag, and send her on her way. It does however mean that she will continue to rock short skirts with no ass-covering panties. Yes, I just said panties. I never understood why girls found that word so gross, I guess it reminds them of when their dad’s used to dress them or undress them growing up….well just because you have repressed fucking issues about your dad taking off/putting on your panties, doesn’t mean I can’t drop the word…Point of the story is colostomy bag or not, I’d still fuck Paris’ ass…I can’t lie…there’s something sexy about girls who shit in a bag…..and not from her anus…

Bonus:Paris B-Day Pics, bitch looks knocked up,you know, fat in the Uterus

For more Nipple/Ass Pictures go to TaxiDriverMovie.com

Posted in:Ass|Paris Hilton|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

21

Feb

Lohan Fan Pic of the Day

8 Comments »

I don’t know where I came across this. It was probably a photobucket search for Lohan or someshit. I guess the story behind this is some make a wish foundation bullshit, where one of these bitche’s is dying of something terminal, let’s say AIDS, but it could be cancer, and they win a shopping spree with their favorite teen dream Lohan. This pic looks a good year or two old, so it probably happened when Lohan still cared about the kids. Lately, all that’s on her mind is cocaine….I know this because I have a connection to Lohan. Just not the kind I want (dick in ass, raw dog, if you know what I mean)….. I am drinking as I write this. I bet there’s at least one typo. Go fuck yourself.

Posted in:fan|Lindsay Lohan|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

21

Feb

Beyonce’s Ass

No Comments »

All I know about black people is the general stereotypes. I have one black friend and he thinks he’s Jewish, he’s one of those educated black people who’s mom is a lawyer or some shit. You know the kind who knows how to play tennis and ski. He was actually my social worker at one of my halfway houses years ago, and we’ve kept in touch. He was doing the social work bullshit to get into med school or someshit. Either way, his life was like the Cosby Show, and he was whiter than you, you fuckin’ honkey. Shouldn’t you be in the kitchen making Kraft Dinner or someshit? The point of my story is that black women have big asses, even when they are famous, if you watch this Beyonce clip, you’ll see her fried chicken eating booty. And remember I am not the loser who recorded this shit to their computer and played it back over and over in hopes of seeing ass crack, you are. LOVE!

Posted in:Ass|Beyonce|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

21

Feb

Beyonce’s Ass

9 Comments »

All I know about black people is the general stereotypes. I have one black friend and he thinks he’s Jewish, he’s one of those educated black people who’s mom is a lawyer or some shit. You know the kind who knows how to play tennis and ski. He was actually my social worker at one of my halfway houses years ago, and we’ve kept in touch. He was doing the social work bullshit to get into med school or someshit. Either way, his life was like the Cosby Show, he was whiter than you, you fuckin’ honkey. Shouldn’t you be in the kitchen making Kraft Dinner or someshit? The point of my story is that black women have big asses, even when they are famous, if you watch this Beyonce clip, you’ll see her fried chicken eating booty. And remember I am not the loser who recorded this shit to their computer and played it back over and over in hopes of seeing ass crack, you are. LOVE!

Posted in:Ass|Beyonce|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

21

Feb

Vintage Shatner Sex Scene

7 Comments »

I like William Shatner as much as the next closet case who’s best friend is his remote control, HD TV, collection of action figures and fantasies of being “beamed” up by Scotty, as Dr McKoy and Spoke use their phasers on each other (handle first of course). Point of the story is that my adoptive brother used to make us watch Star Trek daily, for some reason he always made me watch in my underwear. I haven’t talked to that bastard in years, but last I heard he was arrested for molesting a kid somewhere down south. Molestation isn’t funny, even in a clown-suit, and it’s not cheerful, even in a Santa outfit, and it’s not sexy, even when you are molesting one of those Jon Benet Ramse child pageant girls, but watching Shatner caress a woman is, and for the record, I fuckin’ hate Star Trek and all it stands for, so all you gaming cunts who read my site in hopes of finding nipples to jerk off to, don’t think I am one of your kind. Cuddles.

Watch The Clips Here (circa 1974)

Posted in:Sex|Uncategorized|Unsorted|william shatner

2006

20

Feb

Gwyneth Paltrow Preggers

9 Comments »

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. Well that was actually a generalization. The only people who find preganancy beautiful is the mother of the pregnant woman and maybe a couple of her lonely friends. The dad of the pregnant bitch, hates that she’s pregnant, because it screams “Hey Dad, some dude fucked me, came inside me, and knocked me up”. The dad of the baby, hates that he’s gonna have to go to work everyday to pay the bills, while the pregnant/baby momma stays home and lives the easy/lazy life. All the guys who ever wanted to fuck the pregnant girl before she got pregnant, just think about how mangled her vagina is going to end up in 9 months time….it’s just not that beautiful of a thing. Even the pregnant woman gets depressed about how her skin breaks out, how she won’t be able to sleep for 4 years, how her stomach has mad stretch marks, how her body won’t bounce back…..anyway – here’s some pics of Paltrow pregs, I have always wanted to slam a pregnant bitch, but only if the baby’s not mine, which it wouldn’t be, cuz I can’t get it up.

Posted in:gwyneth paltrow|Pregnant|Sex|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

20

Feb

Marriage Contract of the Day

21 Comments »

This dude in some redneck waste of space state has revolutionized marriage. The only problem is that motherfucker got busted. I’m guessing it’s not legal to make your wife sign a contract stating she will shave her cooch every three days, from belly button to anus, with permissions to leave a 3 inch by 1 inch patch of hair, which will be inspected every three days. The other funny clause is that every night the wife has to commit 3 hours of husband time where it is all about the husband and she will have to do everything he asks, sexually. Jokes aside this guy is obviously fucking psycho, pure OCD, probably a gamer. I am just wondering how he found a wife in that he could do this to in the first place, because from my experience bitches don’t like crazies…..unless they are fat, and that’s because they can’t find anyone else and are lonely.

If I had a clause with my fat wife, it would be that she kills herself on her 40th birthday. I don’t think it’s that bad, she’s fat and is going to have a shit load of health problems in the years to come, and I can’t divorce her, because I will get deported.

Read Story/See Contract Here

Posted in:marriage|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Bathroom Writing of the Day

11 Comments »

I am taking pictures of shit I see drawn on bathroom walls that make me laugh. This one made me laugh.

Related Articles

I am – Street Art of the Day

Posted in:Bathroom|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Kid Rock's Sex Tape

2 Comments »

In typical white trash celebrity behavior, the Kid Rock Sex Tape has finally surfaced. I don’t mean that in a good way, because I have not been sitting here dick in hand waiting for the Kid Rock tapes, I just figured he was one of the low class rockstars who loves strippers, fake titties and fucks disgusting bitches. It was kinda made obvious when fucking Pam Anderson’s Hep Pussy.

I like strippers too, but only to look at, if I was in Kid Rock’s position, I wouldn’t invite the sluts back to my trailer, I’d invite the overwhelmed 18 year old who’s never done anything like this before, but sice she loves my music so much, she get a little while. I guess breaking girls in is a lot hotter to me than getting AIDS from the town whore of every town I go through.

I think that’s why porn bores me, I don’t want trashy sloppy thousands, most girls fuck the same, and I am not convinced that a stripper looking girl with 4 kids is any better than someone who’s vagina is still internal.

The lesson of the day is that the more money you have, the easier it is too land orgies with your loser buddy who is the lead singer of creed. HI-FIVE motherfucker, not only are you famous and rich, but the whole world’s gonna see your cooter.

IMPORTANT LINKS

Watch Trailer/ 45 Second Clip Here
Read Article Here(AVN)

Posted in:kid rock|Sex|Sex Tape|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Feb

Kid Rock’s Sex Tape

3 Comments »

In typical white trash celebrity behavior, the Kid Rock Sex Tape has finally surfaced. I don’t mean that in a good way, because I have not been sitting here dick in hand waiting for the Kid Rock tapes, I just figured he was one of the low class rockstars who loves strippers, fake titties and fucks disgusting bitches. It was kinda made obvious when fucking Pam Anderson’s Hep Pussy.

I like strippers too, but only to look at, if I was in Kid Rock’s position, I wouldn’t invite the sluts back to my trailer, I’d invite the overwhelmed 18 year old who’s never done anything like this before, but sice she loves my music so much, she get a little while. I guess breaking girls in is a lot hotter to me than getting AIDS from the town whore of every town I go through.

I think that’s why porn bores me, I don’t want trashy sloppy thousands, most girls fuck the same, and I am not convinced that a stripper looking girl with 4 kids is any better than someone who’s vagina is still internal.

The lesson of the day is that the more money you have, the easier it is too land orgies with your loser buddy who is the lead singer of creed. HI-FIVE motherfucker, not only are you famous and rich, but the whole world’s gonna see your cooter.

IMPORTANT LINKS

Watch Trailer/ 45 Second Clip Here
Read Article Here(AVN)

Posted in:kid rock|Sex|Sex Tape|Uncategorized|Unsorted

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