“You are always there to help a lending hand dear. I love you most of all because you are you.” These are the words I like to send to all video clips I watch. I think they get enough love on the net, like the local slut, but I also think people just watch the clips and forget about them….well not me…I love them and I am not embarassed to tell the worls
Video clips after the jump…..
Guy doing weird things with his eyes
here
Sore Loser (old but funny)
here
Light Tower Collapses
here
Simpson’s Voices on Conana
here
Chicken Shit Bingo
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Guy Pierces his own Tongue!
here
Clowns
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okay fuckers, its tuesday, the day after cupid came all over the americanised world. let me tell you something about my day yesterday, it was filled with chocolate pleasure. to be brief, i masterbated with the glasses case that my brother got for vallentines day from his girlfriend, i had chocolate covered anal sex with fabio and his uncle juan, but nothing really special. as i was leaving from a home delivery, i decided to pay my friend jesus a visit. he lives ontop of this white trash strip club, so for me to get into his building i had to run around the block four times to produce enough sweat to matte my hair and cause sweat stains to appear on my silver evening gown (i dont do holiday colors) and of course, bum a kanawake cigarette off this kid for a blowjob. 
If you are one of the five screaming girls that are fans of Lindsay’s music then today is your lucky day. Brought to you first from the “The Home of Lohan” is her latest music video for her song “over.”
I know a lot of you readers are perverts. I know a lot of you probably don’t get laid often and probably can’t afford a hooker, so I decided to give all of you some great masturbation tips on the lonliest day of the year, to help you get through the night and hopefully to prevent a couple of suicides.
This is an easy one. Simply peel a banana (you can eat it later), slip the peel over your penis, and masturbate with it. The banana slime is a great lubricant. You can warm up the peel in the microwave for added sensations. Also, you might have better results if you peel the banana by making just one cut in the peel and removing the fruit through the single cut; you can then cut off the end of the banana peel and insert your penis through that end.
Put on some old boxer shorts that are too small, and pull your penis and scrotum out of the fly. Then pull the shorts up so they are tight, and fold the tops down, so you have a little bikini-type thing with your penis sticking out the front. This puts pressure on your penis that feels good, and masturbating like this provides a different sensation.
This one is rather odd but cool. First get an erection, and then take a pillow and crawl between the box-spring and mattress of a twin-size bed. (Full, king, and queen mattresses are too heavy.) Lie on your back, position the pillow between you and the mattress, and thrust your hips against the pillow. The weight of the mattress is a new and interesting sensation. Beware — If someone walks in on you, you’ll have a tough time talking your way out of this one!
Select an eggplant that is sufficiently larger than your erect penis. Cut a hole in the peel that’s the exact size of the base of your erect penis. Then make a hole in the pulp smaller than your erection (using a broom handle works well). Then put the eggplant in the microwave for about a minute and a half, just so it gets warm inside and starts to get a little soft, but don’t really cook it. Then, after you make sure with your finger that the inside is cool enough, put in some lube (try coconut oil), put the eggplant between a couple of pillows, and make eggplant jam. Or, you can lie on your back and just move the eggplant back and forth on your erect penis.
For someone with a little pocket money to spend: First, buy a small container of Gold Bond Medicated Powder at the drugstore. Throw a towel onto your bed and lie on top of it. (Gold Bond sticks to everything, so it’s good to be able to shake out the towel and have a shower after.) The technique itself is very simple: Just sprinkle a bit of the powder onto your hand, rub it onto your penis, and enjoy — no masturbation required. After a few minutes it will start to tingle. This sensation will grow until it’s almost a burning
Get a plastic sandwich baggie and put some Vaseline in it. Then put your penis in and squish all the Vaseline around so it covers your penis. Once that is done, kneel in front of a bed. Lift the up mattress and put your penis, with the baggie still on it, between the mattress and the box-spring. Start pumping as if you were having sex. When you’re done, all you have to do is throw away the baggie.
I tell you what I want – what I really, really want, I want a stripper turned pop star naked on the beach. Yes, I have seen her erotic pics from when she was working back alley strip clubs back in the UK, but now that she has money, her taste is a little more expensive, and her tits are a little smaller, she is still the same UK Stripping slut to me.
