I don’t really give a fuck about Cate Blanchett or the SAG awards, I was at the Porn awards show, a different kind of red carpet, where I wasn’t honored for shit, but rather given nosebleed seats and that I lasted at for 10 minutes because seeing Girls on Girls 97 lose just killed me at my core and forced me to go up to my room to fuck a toothless, meth addicted pro I met in the parking lot of the KISS Mini Golf…Just the idea that after 96 films in the franchise, you’d think they’d get it right at least once…

It turns out that the SAG awards are almost as perverted, with trophy jerking off, thanks to Cate Blanchett…who man handles this shit almost as good as the opening act at the AVN who spread her pussy to a room full of people…

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL THE SCREEN ACTORS GUILD COVERAGE (there are so many pics love it)

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This is obviously an old video, but it doesn’t mean it’s not fantastic footage of some dude smoking meth and PCP in a controlled experiment while I guess his brain waves are being tracked but more importantly, where he rocks the fuck out…and as much as I wouldn’t want to be sitting next to him on a long haul flight anywhere, this makes me want to smoke meth and PCP like it was still the 80s…cuz shit makes a boring pathetic life pretty fucking fun…

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So apparently there is a thing Australians do, because Australians are insane, called being “Neknominated”…where you have to chug a bottle of booze..and apparently this girl got “Neknominated” and had to down a bottle of Jagger for a pack of smokes and I am just trying to figure out who these Australian trolls are, and what hobbit hole they crawled out of, because the Australians girl I follow on Instagram don’t look anything like this…but at least she still chugs a bottle of Jagger, which is impressive, even when built like a bus.

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Keyshia is my crush of the day…because she’s fucking crazy…

She’s a baby piss drinking dirty diaper sucking freak who I am going to assume is fully lying and a hired actor down on her luck because of the smile on her face while she sucks the piss out of a diaper…despite not having kids…making me wonder where she finds the pee filled diapers to being with…but that I am going to assume are found by the guy who handles props since TV is all staged…

I just wonder where we are at in society, that this kind of thing is produced, or even sensationalized or talked about. What happened to having some dignity in your weirdo behavior, keep it to your self – feel guilty – hope you don’t get caught…

All this to say, I’m in love.

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Here’s the drunk position of the day, sure it’s not quite as good as falling asleep with your penis inside an inanimate object for your roommates to walk in on when they wake up to go to work, but it’s still pretty interesting….on his knees and kicked back…pretty much what ever man would want to be known for on the internet…

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As a drunk person, who likes being drunk, who needs to be drunk, and who relies on being drunk to get through all aspects of life, even the most menial…because drunk just makes things more tolerable, from the inner demons and repressed memories in our soul, to the annoying, tedious conversations you have with the people you come across and who you can’t help but hate…I am a fan of videos of drunk people, even if they are also high people, who may or may not have given up on life, but who are giving themselves face plants because it’s pretty fucking funny..

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Here’s an everyday super hero, you know just some blue collar working in retail, and not even good retail, shitty hardware retail, helping assholes like you find the plungers to unclog your bourgeoisie life for 9 dollars an hour…adding more than just greeting you, giving you the daily flyer, or refusing to accept the used toilet seat you are trying to return cuz it couldn’t support your fat wife’s ass…but rather catching babies…even though babies are the worst, sent from hell to ruin your life…in a let it fall if it is your own, but save it if it is someone else’s kind of inspirational story…making me wonder if he got fired because touching babies is against store policy…

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I don’t really know the back story of this wedding being officiated by a bad comedian, who makes pretty shitty jokes, but that are pretty alright jokes under the assumption that this is actually a wedding he is officiating, but it reminds me of the time I brought a crackwhore as a date to my own wedding, it was frowned upon, people got upset, but we had to establish that getting married couldn’t be a direct attack on our freedom, only this dude probably smells better…even if his comedy stinks…

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I don’t know if twerking is still relevant, I mean I can’t really see how it’s not…it’s one of these timeless, tribal, booty shaking shaking fertility dance that gets every dude in the room excited at first jiggle…It’s been around forever, I remember going to clubs in the 90s and bitches were doing this, but I guess it’s gone white now, and once things go white, they start popping up in commercials, high school dances…and organized ass shaking events…all this to say, it’s a good thing to wake up to…even if I don’t know when it was shot…

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This is a great news to me…people are finally using the internet to link up and do activities that are illegal…I mean…I guess that’s what the internet is based on and they have always been doing bad things on it…but this flash robbery is a sign of the future, the revolt against the system we are historically waiting for, because if 30 people raid a store and rob it, the chances of getting caught are less than one…there are strength in numbers and it’s just a matter of time before the criminal masterminds figure out that shit, 10,000 people against 100 cops…is pretty favourable numbers….

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