I know that this is not the Bella Thorne sex tape that we are waiting for. That we know is inevitable, it’s just a matter of time. She’s still transitioning from Disney Kid to Instagram Whore, and there’s a grace period of being “relelvant” where she’s strategically been launching books, brands, a weed company, while directing videos and doing other things that don’t require much skill and when you have an audience of her size you can fake your way through..

It is her touching tongues with her boyfriend she found on the internet, in a throwback video we may have already posted, because they can’t be together due to Quarantine, which is convenient for the dude.

She’s fucking annoying in all her content, so I can only imagine how annoying she is in person, with her high energy and winning attitude. It’d be a lot, so dude, who is probably gay, is hoping the Quarantine goes on a few more months, because this being apart is clearly less about the quarantine and more about the dude knowing she’s annoying, but also the meal ticket, and is really only there cuz she’s a meal ticket, and being able to avoid her is the best.

If you want fame, you need a Bella Thorne to mooch off of to get that fame, so this quarantine is a great way to get what you want, a great way to keep faking the relationship from afar going…you know fake it for a few hours, answer a few texts, easy and worth the investment because she’s relevant….without having to deal with her in person…must be nice…

Posted in:Bella Thorne