DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

02

Sep

Kirsten Dunst Is Still Incredible of the Day

Kirsten Dunst is killing it on her new show, and not because she’s a 40 year old mom, with a mom body and a set of mom tits, but because she’s actually fucking good. It’s nice to see some of the “OLD GUARD” come back into the mix and have their breakout, or comeback performance that they will either be remembered by, or reminded of….

She is pretty much the last generation of talent that had to break through on an industry level. They had to get to the castings, prove themselves, get the good gig, become celebs when celebrity mattered and was more than self involved assholes with a DO IT YOURSELF attitude and a basic knowledge of online marketing….

She has been around for what feels like forever. She’s had some dark and dirty times for the majority of that time. But she’s back. She’s ready. She’s bringing. it and I am a fan.

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Posted in:Kirsten Dunst|SFW

2019

02

Sep

Sailor Brinkley Cook Bikini of the Day

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Sailor Brinkley Cook the girl who got zero looks from her supermodel mom, but got her genetics from her billionaire dad, a tradeoff for the good life because money, an endless supply of money, is far more important than being a hot chick who needs to fuck for the good life. Smart family planning BRINKLEY….

Well clearly, despite not being hot, she learned at a young age how to pose like a half naked bikini clad slut, because her mom knew that despite not having the looks, but instead the ability to stage the look, is just as important, a distraction, or diversion, because dudes get lost in the pose and don’t realize that the girl doing the pose is average at best….that’s the basis of everything on social media right now…

So here she is doing it.

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Posted in:Sailor Brinkley|SFW

2019

02

Sep

Sara Sampaio Nipples of the Day

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Sara Sampaio the Portuguese fisherman’s daughter, stripped out of her fishing waders, and got into a dress for some very important event, one so important, that she brought her nipples out. Maybe it is because she doesn’t know how to dress up proper, being a fisherman’s daughter, or maybe she knows how to take advantage of red carpet paparazzi opportunities, where she attempts to give people something to talk about because everything else about her is pretty fucking boring.

From dating a billionaire to being a VS model, to having a Portuguese woman beard…it’s all pretty boring.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Sara Sampaio|SFW

2019

02

Sep

Courtney Stodden 25 Year Old Nipples of the Day

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Courtney Stodden claims she just turned 25. Which seems crazy because she’s been a fame whoring, ball of body dysmorphia, for at least a decade. That is when she broke through the life as a sex worker or a stripper and ended up in the mainstream for being a 16 year old wife to some actor no one ever heard of….despite being 40.

She has managed to still be talked about, or at least relevant enough for some tabloids, the same tabloids who created her because they needed some sensational story for their readers. To keep selling magazines in a magazine-less world…

Point being, like Farrah Abraham before her, these low level tabloid fodder women have done well for themselves, I mean they can afford all the clown surgeries they want.

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Posted in:Courtney Stodden|SFW

2019

02

Sep

Farrah Abraham Bells Palsy Face of the Day

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Farrah Abraham has a new face, it could be bells palsy though, but it isn’t. It’s just a social commentary, you know, her showing the world what all these people are striving for with the face injections, by going above and beyond, to the extreme, you know totally committing to it. Which is the American way, why stop here – when you can go so much further….I mean, we could all break down the reasons why her look is ridiculous, but at the same time, she’s Farrah Abraham, an ugly ball of trash from MTV who has dabbled in porn, we’ve seen her squirt, we’ve seen her take dick in her ass like he should have done back in high school but that wouldn’t have got her on TV, and she was probably already doing that when she decided to get on MTV and ride that MTV wave for years. We have no expectations for her to do anything much beyond jacking her face up…and filming herself fuck…which in and of itself makes her a living fucking legend.

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Posted in:Farrah Abraham|SFW

2019

02

Sep

Jenna Dewan Bikini of the Day

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Remember when Jenna Dewan got famous for being such a great actor and dancer? ME NEITHER! It was all because she married and had a baby with that ex stripper Channing Tatum who blew the fuck up and now she’s got some fake career where she does nothing but posts bikini pics. Sounds like winning to me.

I mean why put the effort into establishing yourself or developing your own career, when you can take your dancing as far as you need to, to get in front of the right “IT” person, who you can divert your energy to, because working sucks…and being on spousal support so that you can do whatever the fuck you want for the next 18 years of your child’s life…is awesome…

Feminism is letting the rich dude bring in the money….and you mooching off it…so that you don’t have to lower yourself to anything but being something he still enjoys fucking….

Here’s that dancer body she got from muscle memory and having nothing else to do with her time.

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Posted in:Jenna Dewan|SFW

2019

02

Sep

Christa B Allen Slutty of the Day

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CHRISTA B ALLEN posts topless pics on instagram, but unlike instagram models she has IMDB and WIKIPEDIA so she must be important…

Let’s take a journey into who Christa B. Allen and why her attention seeking hipster style instagram pictures are more than just thirsty instagram modeling but rather brand support, or marketing support to help her career…

She started this celebrity thing in 13 Going on 30 in 2004….a movie you probably jerked off to…but she’s probably most proud of being cast “Teenage Girl” in Youth in Revolt in 2009….

TAKE THAT INSTAGRAM MODELS…this girl is legit….and has bee producing variations of topless pics for years now…because getting half naked is considered work. No days off for her, except that getting half naked is hardly working, but it is to these girls…who don’t work.

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Posted in:Christa B Allen|SFW

2019

02

Sep

AJ & Aly Michalka Twincest of the Day

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Twincest is the act of having sex with your twin….

Is it sex, is it incest, is it masturbation since you are genetically the same…but you could argue all siblings are genetically the same…but twins were in the womb together with a bond no one understands, so fucking each other is just masturbating….

If you visit porno sites you will know that the keep it in the family taboo is out of control….it is more popular than it was in the 70s…when incest porn was at its peak….and I guess that applies to twins too…

It is like I was on some idiot visionary on some psychic journey when I named this site, like I knew step-porn was going to make a comeback and be every second video on porn sites…I named the site based on what was going on in my life, more a commentary on being the drunk degenerate who hated responsibility, couldn’t have kids of his own, but could still have some input in a NOT YOUR REAL dad….but turns out it was a mistake because all the step-incest porn consumers get mad that this isn’t an step-incest porn site….and all the people exposed to step-porn…assume this is a creepy sexual thing…that celebrates creepy stepdads molesting their kids…cuz I guess they were raped by their step family…and that’s on them…

But twins fucking…that shit’s not creepy at all…is it.

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Posted in:AJ Michalka|Aly Michalka|SFW

2019

02

Sep

Josephine Skriver Titties in a Selfie From Instagram of the Day

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Genetically modified Josephine Skriver….created in a lab by her biologist father…in what I call a reverse Abortion…

If you can’t chose to kill a fetus in the womb according to weirdo religious people who clearly never knocked up a girl they didn’t want to knock up, where they would learn that the abortion is a beautiful thing…that I guess some people look own on because of GOD or some other manufactured bullshit they embrace as fact…

So if there’s a stigma around sucking a pea sized fertilized egg out of a womb, there should be a stigma around a homosexual inseminating a lesbian’s egg and inserting it into a womb…the way NATURE didn’t intend…on some hybrid weirdo shit…and Josephine Skriver is the embodiment of that designer baby….who turned to work at Victoria’s Secret to live her best half naked model life she was designed to live…

This is her self producing, self promoting, social media hyping herself up for you perverts…on Labor Day…even though she may be unable to get pregnant, as I’ve heard that clones can’t reproduce, but maybe her dad can bull trough with some science he’s developed from Victoria’s Secret Research and Development lab…where Epstein would spend his summers…

Posted in:Josephine Skriver

2019

02

Sep

Kelly Brook With the Tits of the Day

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Kelly Brook….is some 40 year old set of fat tits, on a fat frame, that people were into for a while, back in the Glamour Model, Titty models in the UK days, cuz tits excite us.

Apparently, she forgot it wasn’t April Fools when she posted this picture of her “ABS”…..

Labor Day Kelly Brook….not April Fools…Labor Day…maybe they don’t have that in the UK….

Point being, you can’t have ab definition when you are fat, your fat can cluster and maybe give an illusion of lines that you’d get if you weren’t fat..but AB definition….more like fatty liver disease protruding through her gut…

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Posted in:Kelly Brook|SFW