DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

19

Jul

Paige VanZant Getting Slutty of the Day

Paige VanZant is fucking awesome….

She is an ass kicker, strong fucking bitch who can kill me, which is hot in and of itself, but there’s something sweet and cute about her..

So I am all for her working the instagram feed the way she should…in provocative poses, teasing us, because when a woman is an athlete, with credibility, her being slutty on the instagram is clearly just for fun, it’s not a huge part of her job, and that makes it more sincere, lest forced, and hot.

She’s just out here doing this cuz she likes it, cuz she can, and if you don’t like it, she’ll just choke you the fuck out….

I do not watch the UFC. I don’t do marital arts or appreciate the skill. The idea of man on man in underwear grinding down is a little too fucking queer for me. But when they throw in girls to catfight, shit is like an old fashioned JELLO wrestle and there’s nothing but good in that…so despite hating UFC and the queerity it brings out in men…I like the idea of girls fighting to the death in cages cuz it’s hot…throw in some lingerie…..and it’s hotter.

What I am trying to say, but failing thanks to lack of communication skills, is that Paige VanZant is awesome and I am a fan. It doesn’t happen often. But it happened right here.

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Posted in:Paige VanZant|SFW

2019

19

Jul

Lourdes Leon Bikini of the Day

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Lourdes Leon is Madonna’s 22 year old daughter and she’s being all playful and half naked on the internet as all girls do. So thanks to Madonna diluting her genes with her hispanic lover at the time, she’s turned out to be kind of hot, despite looking like she’s pretty hairy….cuz I love bush…

I wonder (barely) how fucked up growing up as Madonna’s kid would be….you know with a narcissistic as fuck mom with an insane amount of money and access…it would be impossible for her to be well-rounded or normal in any fucking way – and impossible for her to not be ridiculously spoiled or entitled…never needing to work, always living in the shadow of her mom….but who cares…

I think it is collectively more important to look at her young enough body being slutty.

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Posted in:Lourdes Leon|SFW

2019

19

Jul

Laetitia Casta Naked of the Day

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Laetitia Casta is some French model from French France….who must be old as fuck by now…

In the 90s, she was one of the first girls you’d find on celebrity porn sites….before blogs like this very important life project of mine that has dominated my last 15 years were a thing…these weirdo thumbnail gallery posts or TPGs were where you’d go for the porn. They’d basically be a page of pics, you’d click the one you liked, and you’d end up on some sales page for a porn affiliate….but there would be a gallery of the tits. Some of these were celeb themed and I guess Latitia was one of the popular ones because she’d have galleries. She had massive tits….her tits pics were everywhere…in an era when tit pics weren’t everywhere…so it meant something. It was special.

I don’t know why I went to the model/celeb nudes by default, maybe I’ve just always hated or been turned off by public whores / sluts / sex workers and like my nudity to come from an “artistic” place…like she was a model or actress and getting naked was for the job, and it left mystery and imagination, had some class or substance…while porn was just graphic shit that reminded me of an all you can eat buffet…just average women doing vulgar things cuz they had to pay the rent…while celeb and model shit was vetted, more prestigious, less trashy and disgusting and still naked…

So her and I go way back…she’s like my old mistress who doesn’t know I exist because the closest I’ve got to her was jerking off to a picture of her….and I don’t think she got that notice from my FBI agent watching me jerk off to her and trying to exploit that video to send to my contacts. It was a simpler time back then.

Not that I like talking about jerking off to slow loading tit pics on dial up in the 90s…I actually hate when dudes talk about jerking off, it’s so queer and basic and awkward. Keep it to your damn self…but it was important for the sake of this story….to remind her and myself that I have some sort of connection with her tits….it is her legacy…and a reminder that I’ve been doing this shit WAY too long and I’m not a dot com billionaire from it…oops….too much jacking off.

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Posted in:Laetitia Casta|SFW

2019

19

Jul

Kylie Jenner Hard Nipples of the Day

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Kylie Jenner and the new rendition of her body, which is hilarious when you contrast it to her original look and original shape, which I guess is a trend that can be said in the family of these plastic surgery loving trash, that America seems to hold in esteem, like some kind of Royal Family, when all they are doing is trying to sell you shit you don’t need, shamelessly…when they aren’t selling you themselves shamelessly…it’s pretty fucking gross….because Bruce Jenner before and after pics are hilarious to me…and whatever billionaire Kylie does, or how silly she looks, or how weird her doughy body is, is impressive after being raised by a freakshow in a freakshow family, statistically, you’d assume that she would have died from the OPIATE crisis already but instead she still delivers the dog shit that is her half naked, avon lady, self….

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Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2019

19

Jul

JoJo Hard Nipples of the Day

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JoJo..not the kid one you pedo….creep…how’s that Disney Subscription working out for you? Excited about their big App Launch? Fuck Netflix right…those fuckers have peaked, let’s give our money back to the even entertainment industry conglomerates we are used to giving our money to…the same ones who are responsible for the success of this JOJO….who is forced to be pantsless on the internet to remind you idiots she exists.

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Posted in:Jojo Levesque|SFW

2019

19

Jul

Inbar Lavi Bikini of the Day

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Inbar Lavi I don’t know who you are.

I know you’re an Israeli…but that’s as far as I’ve gone…

I was going to go into how hot Israeli girls are as a general theme because they all join the IDF and learn how to kill…but the truth is that not all Israeli girls are hot….and this one skipped out on the IDF at 18 training to move to NYC to become an actor….living your American dream, stealing your american jobs, getting cast on MTV shows, Fox shows, something called LUCIFER…something called Imposters…all while remaining not all that famous….so I guess she posts bikini pics at 32 years old to offset that.

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Posted in:Inbar Lavi|SFW

2019

19

Jul

Diane Kruger Crop Top of the Day

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Apparently Diane Kruger is my German Crush….I wasn’t aware of…because the old broad, like Heidi Klum is out her showing off that this Generation of German woman, who was born a generation after Hitler’s Eugenics program of Ethnic Cleansing, are not tainted by the unfavorable DNA of unfavorable people, because they were killed off…

It’s like seeing hot Russian women, it’s always fun even though they have no souls and are very serious and pragmatic, like German women….because you know all the ugly genes died off behind the Iron Curtain.

So when you see an old German bitch like Diane Kruger showing off her stomach…in a pair of slutty oversized shots you can assume you see bottom of ass cheek in…cuz if you leave the house, every short is bottom of the ass cheek shorts.

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Posted in:Diane Kruger|SFW

2019

19

Jul

Ciara Pussy Dance of the Day

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Remember when everyone thought Ciara was a trans but then that became a normal thing so nobody brings it up anymore?

Here she is proving she has a working pussy by doing the pussy dance, to a children’s song, which is PERVERTED, who has she been hanging out with ? EPSTEIN?

Or maybe it’s just good tuck.

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Posted in:Ciara|SFW

2019

19

Jul

Adriana Lima and Irina Shayk Fetish Gear of the Day

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I guess seeing Adriana Lima’s 40 year old Brazilian tits about a decade after she was hot is exciting to some of her fans…especially when you’re tag teamed with Irina Shayk…you know another over the hill mom with a baby still breast feeding….these babies are their secondary revenue streams…

I just find it a too little too late situation. Adriana Lima has been bloated and fucking weird looking for a while now….but these are still nipples on girls holding onto the glory days, holding onto the dream…

There is absolutely no reason for these two rich Mail Order Brides who are living your American Dream, despite being immigrants, and fucking your men…while you’re in a trailer park on food stamps….

You shouldn’t stand for this….not that you can stand…it hurts your joints you fat fuck..

Adriana Lima Irina Shayk Vogue Espana Fetish

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Posted in:Adriana Lima|Irina Shayk|SFW

2019

19

Jul

Madison Pettis Bikini of the Day

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Madison pettis is some 20 year old – I’ve never heard of – but she’s apparently been in the industry since she was 4, so you’ve probably jerked off to her, seeing as you’re fucking weird…

I’ll assume that you only subscribe to the Disney Channel, which in and of itself should be how pedophiles are caught…anyone with no kids who have that channel are predators….call your cable provider and find the local creeps in your hood…

That’s all I have to say about this…Consider it a Public Service Announcement.

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Posted in:Madison Pettis|SFW