DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

27

Mar

Bella Hadid See Through TITTIES of the Day

Bella Hadid is wearing a see through shirt in some photoshoot that is great for her self promotion, you know validate the rich girl as a model, more than just a rich kid who bought her career…and the whole thing isn’t that exciting to me, I’m not a Bella Hadid fan. I think she’s got an average at best face, she’s overrated, and not because I’m a racist who hates ARAB people…or think they are terrorists, but because I think there is such thing as rich people having access and perpetuating or projecting that they are hot or relevant -because of marketing scams that are just lying to all of us…FUCK these people like you’re the Weeknd and I guess anyone else she fucks and you know there’s a list..because she’s a groupie looking for validation…garbage but it’s got nipples

Posted in:Bella Hadid

2017

27

Mar

Martha Hunt’s Bikini Action of the Day

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Good old American pussy. Created by good old fashion American hormone jacked up food, corn , Monsanto, fast food, and Victoria’s Secret….

Her body is weird to me, not that it’s not hot, it’s that wait to hip ration that seems off, like she had a rib surgically removed…and based on her being owned by Victoria’s Secret…I wouldn’t doubt modifications…because they are feminists who empower women by paying them a lot of money to reduce them to unrealistic body types other women envy and buy the panties they wear…because the world makes no sense…

Well..she’s on the beach…and in a bikini and looks hot…despite the whole looking weirdly shaped….because she’s a victoria’s secret model from America…meaning she’s the best the USA has to offer…unless she is just really good at sucking dick..you know, because of Feminism….

WHO KNOWS….TAYLOR SWIFT DOES I BET….since she’s controlling our MINDS…..through her shitty music..

Posted in:Martha Hunt|SFW

2017

27

Mar

Brooke Shields in a Bikini of the Day

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Pretty Baby – Brooke Shields has always been a bit of a man, I mean besides when she was a 14 year old naked in Blue Lagoon, a movie I’ll assume all of you, especially the producer and directors, jerked off to, because I assume their logic is if a 14 year old is naked for the sake of art, it’s not actual nudity, and if you jerk off to that 14 year old nude, you’re just a purveyor of art….or fans of art…not creepy perverts just trying to tell a wonderful story…or enjoying a wonderful story…

In this era…I doubt the naked 14 year old love story would go over very well, but it’s not 1980 anymore, and that’s probably a good thing…let’s stick to naked 18 year olds for our pervert needs…

And I guess now that Suddenly Susan tank who Andre Agassi once wrestled….is feeling good about her 50 year old body…all hard nippled…and lovely…because she’s put up a picture.

Now I never found her hot, always found her terrible but today is a new day of a new week and she’s doing good…hard nippled and this is good…and that’s so fucking weird..

Posted in:Brooke Shields|SFW

2017

27

Mar

Chantal Jeffries is the Low Level Mangled Face Cameltoe of the Day

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Chantal Jeffries is part of the Kyle Jenner generation. The fat chicks with mangled faces who get liposuction on their stomachs to give them a waistline despite looking like fucking circus freaks…they can angle themselves to the ratchet “urban” which is really white Jewish kid market…and they can play sex icon, glamorous, bootleg kardashian…who probably hangs out with the Kardashians…and who has a ton of followers which would make you think that she’s relevant…while your brain is telling you she’s fucking busted….

Her claim to fame is being the girl caught with Bieber when he was caught speeding in a lambo in Florida…and I guess that’s all it takes to get to this moment right here…hanging with other fat ass young girls who look like they are 45 year old moms…done up for the hip hop community…as their bikini bottoms get eating by their cunts like it’s some fancy restaurant meal they’re at because they’re classy…

Posted in:Chantal Jeffries|SFW

2017

27

Mar

Charlize Theron is the TANK of the Day

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Charlize Theron is a tank…

Just a heads up – because I think it’s important to remind the world that aging happens and it is a terrible thing – even when you’re rich and you get work done, you may think you are god, and you may have a god complex because you’ve made it and because you’re South African and white, and because your mom killed your dad for being abusive, taking his life like the lord and savior would if there was one..you still scale out the way you are meant to…because it’s not the mid 90s anymore and you’re not the South African model turned Playboy Playmate turned actress who got naked in movies turned actress who won Oscars ..turned big…and sure she was probably always big…but now filled out big…and it’s terrifying. Blame menopause. Genetics. Biology…who knows….

But what I can say with certainty is that Charlize Theron is no more.

Posted in:Charlize Theron|SFW

2017

27

Mar

Rachael Leigh Cook Abs in a Bikini of the Day

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37 year old Josie and the Pussycats…..she’s all that….Baby Sitter Club….and I think that’s pretty much all she’s done until today…when she’s figured she must fight the instagram model – RACHEL COOK – who is stealing her NAME…(see pics below)…

And show her bikini body and middle aged abs, because when you’re in your mid 30s and your life was being the hot girl in her early 20s, is fitness….eat that vegan, do that coke, work those abs….look better than most 37 year olds….but not quite as good as the instagram model who stole your name…but still good enough for perverts like me.

Posted in:Rachael Leigh Cook|SFW

2017

27

Mar

Kristen Cavallari’s Mom Body in a Bikini of the Day

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Kristen Cavallari is a reality TV star, who was cocky in her reality star position and ended up dropping out of the spinoff show of her reality show that made everyone in it a lot of fucking money….while she attempted to ride her fame and become a legit actor…but instead just became a wife to some rich athlete and made babies…

But luckily the California lifestyle, has allowed her to maintain a cute ass in a thong bikini that hasn’t been as shattered by child birth as you’d expect…but in the defense of being shattered by child birth…a life philosophy I’ve always had….we can’t see her pussy in these pics…

But if she’s accomplished one thing in her relatively irrelevant life….it’s that she’s not a disgusting mom body despite choosing the disgusting mom life….and I guess when looking at this, the logical thing to wonder is how much better she’d be if she wasn’t ruined by breeding for financial security…you know…coulda been much better…but it’s
Kristen Cavallari…who gives a fuck.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kristen Cavallari|SFW

2017

27

Mar

Ashley Tisdale Pregnant Belly in Leggings of the Day

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There are a few things going on in these pictures of 30 something year old Ashley Tisdale…no longer a high school musical actor…currently a wife who still goes to the gym but not enough because her face is mangled, her body is everything and it is falling apart or maybe she has a pregnant bump budding which would make sense because she might as well give the fuck up and retreat to her rich person compound where she lives with her husband…it’s the only thing that makes sense when it comes to marriage…when you’re sitting on a pile of money I’d argue she doesn’t really deserve but that allows her to do nothing all day…but fuck..

Which reminds me of my new comment on social media pics of girls in bikinis..I say “congrats on the pregnancy, it barely shows”….you know the subtle dis knowing they aren’t pregnant – but presented in a sweet way…that bitches can’t get mad at…

The other thing going on in this pic is her armpit…which is something I have a weird fetish for and don’t know…

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|SFW

2017

27

Mar

The Dude Who Wants the Paul Walker Statue in San Clemente of the DAy

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Chad Kroeger……the surfer….from San Clemente California…the home of such important people as Richard Nixon, Anastasia Ashley and Paul Walker…for a while before he died….has campaigned the Southern Orange County city council to erect a Paul Walker statue on their Pier…because of the valuable life lessons he’s learned and we can all learn from Paul Walker…in Fast and the Furious..like bedding his rivals sister….and other ridiculousness.

I find the whole thing brilliant, living the American dream from surfing to city council in an hour…dressed like a clown…perfect.

I also feel a tie to Paul Walker and think he deserves a statue, the people at Warner Brothers who milk the hell out of him should probably fund it though, seeing as they have erections for him….and his death…which funny enough, killed my linking partnership with TMZ, because I called him a Sex Offender, for dating his Mormon wife when she was 15 or 16…which would warrant a non celebrity being called a sex offender…

But TMZ is owned by WB, and so was Paul Walker and Fast and the Furious and as they were writing Paul Walker death stories all week, since it was fed to them by his management because they were both owned by the same people….my link popped up and boom end of an era….

So let’s immortalize that in San Clemente..and give this Chad dude who a TV show or movie of his own…the 90s surfer in 2017…thanks to great San Clemente camera equipment while everyone is too busy surfing to update technology.

Posted in:SFW

2017

27

Mar

Rat Cow Opens Her Mouth to Demonstrate Why She Only Opens Her Mouth When The Lights are Out of the Day

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Here is a very important life lesson brought to you by Emily Ratajkowski this monday morning…and that is that it’s better to keep your mouth shut if you look more birdfaced than you already do…when you try to smile…you know save those mouth openings for job auditions / castings / and attempting to get work to polarize and legitimize being a low level, despite the money you make, model….when really you’re just a set of tits, reduced to a set of tits, that she’d probably hate ever admitting, because it takes away from all the hard work she’s done – that only gets noticed due to her tits….

I guess it’s also aspirational, because you know if you do have tits and an average at best face, something most girls with tits can attest to, people will celebrate you, and thanks to angles, the internet, clever photo tricks, angles, duck face on the bird face, you can make that weird face look like it’s pensive, pouty, just been fucked, confused, sweet, delicate…..because the internet is a lie…

NOW…if you’ve ever online dated, you’ll know the fatties are less fat in the profile pics, the faces less mangled, it’s the internet motherfuckers, sure people don’t troll te way they used to, anonymously, they troll as themselves…and here’s some Rat Cow trollin’ as she continues to get paid.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW