DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

05

Jul

Kelly Rohrbach for British GQ of the Day

Kelly Rohrbach was some low level bikini model from Sports Illustrated swim, which I guess makes her not that low level, because SI Swim is the top of the bikini model charts, you seen it’s that stamp of approval that makes all your instagram whoring worth your time and effort…you know because without a publication to publish you – you’re just doing it for yourself and that’s lame…

I think she did one or two issues because she’s still young in the scene and in being young in the scene, that means she has already been one of the models Leonardo DiCaprio co-signed with his penis or at least by promoting to the world as his girlfriend, because he may be gay…

Before turning her over to his film producer friends, who cast her as Pam Anderson in the Baywatch remake no one needs to see because it’s going to suck and you can see all these bitches in bikinis without the storyline on the internet. It’s kinda what they do…

Now Leo has moved onto old timer Nina Agdal – who has been around for a while, because I guess he likes his whores more seasoned and mature….you know where she’s trying to get pregnant to make it all worth it and to make sure

While Kelly’s just getting her career started, all being promoted in GQ UK…in a bathing suit..

Whores be EVERYWHERE…

Posted in:Kelly Rohrbach|SFW

2016

05

Jul

Renee Somerfield Makes Me Laugh of the Day

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Her name is RENEE SOMERFIELD, she’s some Australian “model”…who has a great fucking body, definitely, but her content is so fucking cheesy.

We live in this world of easy to digest, flash in the pant, attention span of a mosquito so content doesn’t need to be thought provoking or compelling, it just has to satiate that sweet tooth for very little time as we scroll onto the next picture in our feed…

But this girl has made a career out of being in these dramatic photoshoots of herself, because she’s vain and disgusting, posing all dramatic for herself, like she’s a hired model, and brands probably throw money at her – so that she can producing these compelling, Academy award winning establishing shots of herself…

I can’t imagine her being anything but the worst person possible, but at least she looks alright…in a world where that is all that matters, that is all that matters…

THis is professional instagram modeling….ideal places, half naked, pose….usually paid for by a tea-tox company or protein powder…

Living the scam life…lookin’ good…and I love that a vapid, zero concept, zero thought, zero talent, cheesy to the point of embarassing self produced shoot can make a bitch matter…crazy…

She’s the next Michael Bay…

Some pics…

Posted in:Renee Somerfield|SFW

2016

05

Jul

Spider Cosplay Girl of the Day

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People like Cosplay. I don’t like Cosplay.

I find the whole thing really weird, I don’t get turned on by it and I don’t really understand how a dude can, I mean sure, here is a thin girl with super big tits into superhero and anime shit, that I guess nerds really connect with….

But I do think this costume for some nerd convention that probably smells like stale semen and mouldy basements where said semen was produced by every singe one of the comic book dudes in attendance…took some effort…and that’s probably why it’s gone viral, it’s definitely why I am posting it, I mean that and trying to pander to the nerds, it works for so many other people, why can’t it work for me…let me exploit your interests instead of mocking them, make you think I am one of you, because I guess having a blog when you’re not a teen girl is pretty much like being one of you, now carry me to fame and fortune…I rely on you..

Unfortunately, the nerd readers I connect with are the real low level ones with no social skills who don’t leave the house and are just creepy from the years of jerking off to drawings of women….and not the nerds who get together and do nerd shit I need.

I hate you, you ruined my life…

Here’s that spider weirdness. Nerds…

Posted in:LOLZ

2016

05

Jul

Naked Woman VS Subway and Other Videos of the Day

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Sex on the Waterfront

Guy Humping a Tree

Fast Food Brawl…Nice Thong Assses

Dude Checks Out Tits on TV

Raven on the Treadmill

Show Off Fails

Americans of the Day – I Bet They Vote Trump

Suicidal Man – Jumps and Lands on a Scooter

Drunk Woman on PLane

Apparently – This is an Old Man Jerking Off to a Little Girl

Russian Knockout

Idiots Playing with Fireworks…Why America?

The Most Disturbing Video Today

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2016

05

Jul

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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Now that all you Americans are done celebrating your false freedom and false independence, those are just key words that are said to you from a young age to make you not question your actual freedom and independence as the government tries to keep you sick, dumb, broke, and ignorant….so that you don’t ask too many questions, or stage an uprising, while everyone just goes along with it, because they are lazy and it’s easier that way – now where is my McDonalds, Coca Cola, anti depressant meds, I need to get to my job as a cashier at Walmart to pay my over inflated medical bills, rent and credit card debt from buying all the things I think I am supposed to buy because that’s what THEM THERE TV TOLD ME….

Ridiculous…but at least I got to enjoy the USA bikini show….

Here are some morning LINKS…

Lots of Lovely Cleavage
CLICK HERE

Tom Hiddleston Wearing an I Love TS shirt – Clearly Pussy Whipped
CLICK HERE

Demi Lovato’s Butt Shot Looking Alright
CLICK HERE

Extracting Pure Silver from Fireworks
CLICK HERE

Car Crash of the Day
CLICK HERE

Emily Blunt Made baby – Didn’t Post Birthing Videos
CLICK HERE

Rosie Hungtington in Lingerie
CLICK HERE

25 Autocorrect Fails
CLICK HERE

Lohan is 30
CLICK HERE

Kourtney Kardashian in a Swimsuit Butt Shot
CLICK HERE

Girls Tugging on CLothes
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2016

04

Jul

Bella Thorne is Living the American Dream of the DAy

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Bella Thorne is Living the American Dream…

Only in America can you be the product of lazy fucking parents, who look at their kids as an opportunity to cash the fuck out, because that’s what happens when you’re an ego, you think you cum gold, and you have to devote your life to making sure that cum grows up into a famous and successful earner….ideally on TV< but they’d settle with bootleg model, just so long as they don’t have to work and can turn being a parent into being a “manager”….

Only in America can a girl who gets on TV, not a very lucrative show, but still a show with enough creepy dad’s who sexualize her, to make her social media following relevant….and large enough to cash in….only to post subtle slutty but not that slutty even though it is obviously slutty and the sole purpose of the pic is to get male attention rather than to show her fitness form at pilates..

Only in American can that low level slutty – make dreams come true….and your audience grows and grows…making your paychecks grown and grow….so Trashy Florida parents can buy all the trashy things they want…but instead of doing it back in Florida…they’re Hollywood now…living the fucking dream…

Here are some of her best instagram model – because instagram models are the real people who are living the dream – slutty pics…

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

04

Jul

Irina Shayk is Living the American Dream of the Day

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Iriana Shayk is Living the American Dream…

Twenty Five years ago, a Russian in work camp dwelling babe, no matter how hot she was thanks to ethnic cleansing, could only escape through Ballet or the Olymoics or other sports….and often times that was only for short periods of time – occasionally going into hiding never to be seen again but often times being forced back to the communist work camp to live that life of rationed bread and potatos….depressing and grey….

Where the only taste of America was listening to Michael Jackson and other pop bands illegally, or paying a lot of rationed rolls of toilet paper for a coca cola or a pair of Levis…to touch anything America….

Now she is touching many other things America….mainly A Listers – but not from being mail order – but by her own hustle….the American Dream….

Here are some of her best pics…

Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2016

04

Jul

Selena Gomez is Living the American Dream of the Dya

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Only in America, while I guess in Mexico can a Mexican be the number one followed person on Instagram – after sucking some Zuckerberg dick and playing around with the “related picture” algorithm – because nerds have been succumbing to babes since the beginning of time, manipulated by babes, given false promises by babes of a better tomorrow, only for the babe to turn their back on them and squash them out like a cigarette butt on the way out…

But not only does Mexican Selena Gomez, who I am sure had some illegals who with hard work, helped create the life that she’s created for herself. We call it doing the jobs the white people don’t want so that your grand daughter can do the jobs the while people who sign the checks want…

She is America, whether America wants to accept the Mexican or not….but Coca Cola sponsors her – so they must think she represents America too..

Point being, only in America can a Mexican be exploited by a huge company like Disney, only to turn it around and exploit all of you….

Here are some recent pics…slutty recent pics…we like em. Viva Mexico…and her little lucha libre midget in a monkey suit body….

Here are some of her best pics…

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2016

04

Jul

Nina Agdal Living the American Dream of the Day

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Only in America can an immigrant from socialist Denmark, take her hot body to America where she had a model agency repping her, so that she could get her work visa and stay in America barely working, unless you count working all the rich guys….with a hot body…that she gets into a bikini as often as she can to get publicity for her hot body – not necessarily making that much money, but being thrown into a circle of people with a lot of money only to eventually get knocked up by one and be set for life…

The rumor is that this immigrant model with a hot body has hit the mainstream with her photoshoots, most that she did for free, and is now fucking with Leo Dicaprio – the model fucker, but still the number one Playboy in America….and if that’s not making it for an immigrant model, it’s definitely livng that American dream that most Americans are too fat to live….

Here are some of her best pics…

Posted in:Nina Agdal|SFW

2016

04

Jul

Ariel Winter is Living the American Dream of the Day

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Only in America can some ethnically ambiguous girl from some very popular TV show be sexualized at a young age by the perverts who watch the show she is on – thanks to starting puberty at a young age due to the psychological trauma that comes with being sold off by your parents to work for fame….only to force the girl to try to cut off her tits to de-sexualize herself – in a “let me be a kid still” kind of way – only to have her tits continue to grow because that’s what hormones in the food do to a girl..a girl who has given away her life and privacy and is now giving away her dignity with titty big and butt shot after titty pic and butt shot – trying to figure out how to stay relevant even though she’s on a huge fucking show…and the only way to do that is take that legit acting job and throw it out the window by “Kardasian-ing it” through hooker behavior…and pics becase the Kardashians are the ones making all the money – and are the real ones living the American Dream….

Here’s a round-up of her best pics…

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW