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2015

01

Jun

Samantha Hoopes Eats a Burger of the Day

I hear she’s a 25,000 dollar an hour hooker, but I guess who isn’t a 25,000 dollar an hour hooker, I mean go up to any girl with 25,000 in your back pocket, not that you have 25,000 dollars, and offer it to her to suck your dick, ride your face, and even fuck you…provided you’ve got more 25,000 dollars to spend on sex with models, and I will assure you that no matter how disgusting you are…90 percent of girls will say yes..

So here’s Samantha Hoopes, a Sports Illustrated model, which in case you didn’t realize, means she’s pretty low level and probably not making much money since Sports Illustrated doesn’t pay, it just gives these girls the stamp they need to get athlete or rich dude boyfriends..

And she’s eating a burger like a plus sized model…without being plus sized…because rich people don’t like fat people..being fat would get in the way of business..

Posted in:Samantha Hoopes

2015

01

Jun

Sabrina the Teenage Witch Bachelorette Party of the Day

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Here’s some Melissa Joan Hart, mom in her 40s, neck or is that a chin…that confuses me….wearing a bathing suit at her sister’s bachelorette party….in Miami…in a picture she posted to her social media, thanking some billion dollar diet program for giving her mom body what it needs to be one piece bathing suit ready…even if girls I know would not consider this body anything bathing suit ready…but the pervert in me thinks all bodies are always bathing suit ready…even Melissa Joan Hart…

Melissa Joan Harts was one of the girls on TV, that I didn’t find hot, but that everyone found hot, leading to me questioning my sexuality, thinking “why does everyone I know jerk off to Sabrina the Teenage Witch, while I’m more into the aunt with big tits”…..her and Tapanga from Boy Meets World…were just girls I didn’t quite understand the hype around…so her in a bathing suit now, is not going to be anything I’m pumped to see, it’s just something I’ll put out there for you…because I feel bad for you…and know that in the 90s, the good years for you…this was your dream and like all dreams…they fall apart at the seams…

All this to say, this is more interesting than Kim Kardashian’s second pregnancy, unless her second pregnancy ends with complications that leave her dead….

TO SEE THE PAPARAZZI PICS OF HER IN HER BATHING SUIT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Melissa Joan Hart

2015

01

Jun

Caitlyn Jenner’s Vanity Fair Cover of the Day

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I guess we can thank Caitlyn Bruce Jenner for taking some attention away from his vapid, disgusting, porn star stepdaughter, as his cover for Vanity Fair where he outs himself, or names himself Caitlyn, in what I guess is the most publicized tranny of the year, thanks to being part of the most publicized family of the decade, in what is probably the most substantial thing they’ve contributed to the world…not because I love trannies, or I’m into tranny porn, or because I didn’t think Kim Kardashian was a tranny and still do…but because apparently this is empowering and inspiring other Trannies who are feeling lost in the world, and that’s more than we can say for the rest of the family that has just contributed to people getting ass implants, filming sex tapes, and being vapid tacky cunts…that we all hate…because it’s low level garbage…

But Bruce Jenner…I mean for a 60 year old…motherfucker’s got some Olympian tits..and why does he look like Katie Holmes..

Posted in:Bruce Jenner|SFW

2015

01

Jun

Chelsea Miller is Alyssa Miller’s Fat Model Sister of the DAy

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A video posted by Chelsea Miller (@chelsea_millerxoxo) on Apr 26, 2015 at 3:09pm PDT

I’ve chosen not to let my insecurities stop me from enjoying life! I refuse to let societies standards keep me from finding beauty in myself, flaws included!

Plus sized models is a real thing now. It’s a real trend. Brands and Agencies fucking love fat chicks because it’s so good for business…and more importantly…it’s so easy to find fat chicks to model for you…at least based on my experience with fat chicks…which has involved them being the only ones willing to suck my dick, while I kind of say “better than nothing”…until accidentally marrying one and being miserable for the rest of my life because that is what I deserve…

What I am saying is that the world is fat, so fat chicks taking ownership of their fat, instead of working out and eating well, because that would require work and effort and going against being fat, while just embracing it can double as an empowerment….

So much plus sized model noise, in protest to skinny and healthy girls…because they are just jealous…while plus sized male models…don’t even exist…because dudes aren’t feminist bitches, we realize when we’re fat and disgusting…

If plus sized male models exist, why aren’t they going viral like fat chicks are…

Anyway, here’s a newly signed Chelsea Miller, who is ALyssa Miller’s sister, who you’ll know from Sports Illustrated and that’s about it, and we can assume that she was like “you’re fat with a pretty face, the agencies want fat with a pretty face, just keep eating and I’ll introduce you”…to both have her sister make money and to get her sister off her back as the annoying jealous fat sister who always complains about being the fat sister…

Here are some pics from her instagram….big tits as fat chicks tend to have..

All this to say, I call this “getting my fat jealous sister off my back”…and at least it isn’t Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy…

Here’s some Alyssa Miller since you probably have no idea who she is…because I don’t know who she is and I do this shit everyday..oh right..she dated Jake Gyllenhaal…

Posted in:Chelsea Miller

2015

01

Jun

Jessica Alba’s 200 Million Dollar Humping of the Day

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A video posted by Jessica Alba (@jessicaalba) on May 21, 2015 at 6:27am PDT

Jessica Alba was a hardly talented, but hot, actress who never got naked but who people fucking loved, probably not because she’s a Mexican, since no one likes Mexicans…who trapped her boyfriend at the time, who had just dumped her, Cash Warren, by getting pregnant and forcing him to do the right thing and be a dad to the kids…which worked out nicely for him, because he linked her up with some tech geniuses who were able to build a brand off of her, and all she had to do was promote it…

Sure, part of the marketing campaign was that she worked 86 hours a week and built it from the ground up, but I have people who know people, who know people, and apparently, she was definitely present at the office, but she never really handled anything, or made any decisions..

It was just a spokes modeling contract that worked in this dot com tech wild west where anyone can become a billionaire…with the right team and 20% equity in something…

I am not saying she doesn’t deserve to be worth 200 million dollars, at least she took her celebrity and followed the american capitalist dream to make stupid fucking money…like she was Ashton Kutcher…

I am just saying, who the fuck cares…the real discussions should be “where are her tits!!”…billioare or not..I want to see her tits…because I’m old..and remember when she actually mattered…

I’m not impressed by any of this, it doesn’t matter to me..or really to any of you….great, you’re a fucking evil billion dollar corporation that manipulated idiots into her lie…now where are the tits?

She was already rich and living the rich life…before this…not to mention, why isn’t the Brian Lee…the founder of LegalZoom and ShoeDazzle, who runs the fucking company….oh probably worth more than Alba’s 200 million take….why isn’t he on the cover? Oh right, because that would fuck up the marketing campaign that involves Alba being the face…now where are the tits?

All this to say, this is more interesting than Kim Kardashian’s second pregnancy, unless her second pregnancy ends with complications that leave her dead….

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

01

Jun

Allie DeBerry Ass Picture for Instagram of the Day

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Her name is Allie DeBerry…the sweeter the fruit…

She’s a girl of the church, at least that is what I assume when she posts bible proverbs to her instagram bio…along with ass pictures..

Proverb 31:25 – She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

Yes…I love the misguided bible thumping weirdos, who think their whoring is a work of god, and that fate will come her way…especially when they are coupled with ass pictures…

She was on a Disney show, so we can assume that the Texan with stage parents, knows quite about whoring for the lord, as some of the most corrupt people are these weirdo evangelicals…

I get where she’s going with this “higher purpose”….and I like it…even if it’s totally contradictory and insane…but I guess you can’t ask too much out of vapid sheltered half retards…just focus on the slutty…

Her boyfriend is Tyler Beede from the SF Giants…who also posts bible verses on his shit… who are these people….his reads:

2 Corinthians 5:17 – Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!

I assume their sex is really distorted as he is railing her ass…while Jesus watches..unfortunately not this Jesus, cuz I’m down..

All this to say, this is more interesting than Kim Kardashian’s second pregnancy, unless her second pregnancy ends with complications that leave her dead….

Posted in:Allie DeBerry

2015

01

Jun

Terra Jo Wallace for Beach Riot of the Day

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Terra Jo Wallace is an LA looking model, who like all LA looking models, is probably from LA, or living in LA, running after the American Dream of hopefully being seen by a producer at a party, to live her life as the next Jessica Alba…or whatever girls aspire to be…

I have no problem with this, I assume that it’s been going on since the 1930s when Hollywood was first coming together.

I don’t care if all these girls are interchangeable, I just care that they are hot..in fact I like the sheer volume of them, it means there is enough to go around…one for all of us.

It also makes LA one of the more interesting places to walk around, all these girls trying to get famous…perfect place to pretend you can make girls famous, read the site slogan…it’s my life philosophy…

Now I hate catalog bikini pics, but I dig girls who get half naked while trying to make it…..

E-commerce pics are not the new porn.

All this to say, this is more interesting than Kim Kardashian’s second pregnancy, unless her second pregnancy ends with complications that leave her dead….

Posted in:Terra Jo Wallace

2015

01

Jun

Selena Gomez Brings Out the Mexican of the Day

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When you’re a total fucking pervert who gets very little from girls in your everyday life…whether it is because you made the mistake of getting married to your high school sweetheart, or married some girl you met on some online video game because you lack social skills, or married because you just couldn’t handle being alone so you went for the first thing that came your way…or you’re alone because you’re just a creeper who no one talks to…you can find sex in anything you look at…and the more desperate you get, the deeper you go down that dark road, the more things like a girl sucking a straw becomes erotic enough for you to lock yourself in the bathroom to jerk off to…even when the straw being sucked is by an overweight Mexican with too much make up on…who you figure looks like Selena Gomez…if you know who Selena Gomez is..which I assume most of you do…but that most normal people not absorbed in this bullshit don’t fucking care…and really shouldn’t…she’s done nothing of substance, and that’s that.

All this to say, this is more interesting than Kim Kardashian’s second pregnancy, unless her second pregnancy ends with complications that leave her dead….

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2015

01

Jun

Jessica Crovato by John Ellis of the Day

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Here is a nice way to start your pathetic day…if you haven’t already started it…because you probably haven’t, seeing as you’re probably unemployed, on disability or welfare, and just looking for tits…because you have nothing better to do than scour the internet.

The models’ name is @jessicacrovato … you’ve probably never heard of her…which is a good thing, because when these models get into the media and start dating horrible actors and rich people…they become miserable to appreciate just for being the amazing that they are…

Photographer’s name is @john___ellis …so thank him for hunting out the babes willing to get naked for art..even though there is no such thing as art…just don’t tell an “artist” that….but there is such thing as amazing looking girls…who I am glad are in pictures…