DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

26

Mar

Spread Legged Lindsay Lohan of the Day

Lindsay Lohan posted this spread leg, low resolution, picture of her tit hanging out of her shirt to instagram, and the whole thing reminded me of how amazed I am that she didn’t die off when she was at her lowest, and that she hasn’t got into porn, or really anything to maintain her celebrity, and instead just sort of fell off…

But I believe she is just recharging, releasing a little taste of her, as she gets ready for that Oscar win, I can’t imagine her ever getting, but that I believe can happen, since acting requires no actual skill…at all…but surviving a Lindsay Lohan spread leg experience probably does…she’s pretty toxic…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2015

26

Mar

Kendall Jenner’s Calvin Klein Campaign of the Day

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I have seen Kendall Jenner in person, she’s not all the impressive, but at least she’s tall and skinny, so that counts for something, especially when she has big dreams of being a model, and thanks to her sister’s porn and her mother’s whoring, she’s got a big enough following for brands to say “we’ll use her to get her audience”….

So I don’t really follow anything she does, or is into…but at the same time, I am all about young girls whoring themselves because their mother whored them out…and made them think this was their dream…to get the family more fame and money, every angle she could…from sex tapes to Calvin campaigns…they’ve got all bases covered…the modern day Partridge Family…

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2015

26

Mar

Rihanna Eyebrows of the Day

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I guess Rihanna realizes that this is the interent generation and that if she doesn’t put out content she is going to be forgotten and that doesn’t work for her ego, because you know she’s an ego, she’s from a tiny fucking island and has achieved so much money and success, how could she even be tolerable to talk to, you know becuase she thinks she’s fucking god…

So she’s putting out topless pics that aren’t quite topless enough, considering she’s always topless, and we’ve seen her naked dozens of times on her quest of fame…but she does have crazy fucking eyebrows and that should count for something…

Eyebrows are the new nipple…

Posted in:Rihanna

2015

26

Mar

Darya By Kesler Tran of the Day

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Kesler Tran is an LA based photographer, who takes interesting pictures, and I guess highly edits them, turning them into art that he can position to models as art, to get the models naked, because naked gets attention, and naked in beautiful, and naked is the future, and naked gets girls famous, but that works better when they don’t go by “Darya”, because just too flmsy for me to remember, but I will remember her topless pics, for at least 3 minutes, because I am looking at them….but after those 3 minutes…I will move onto more topless pics…because there aren’t enough hours in the day to see all the topless pics being produced…thanks to the world being slutty as fuck…the way I like it…

Posted in:Darya

2015

26

Mar

Nicola Peltz Bikini Instagram of the Day

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Nicola Peltz is a billionaire’s daughter with a hefty trust fund, who has decided she wants to be famous, and I guess that her dad fully supports, because it allows her to have that fun life she wants, while getting paid to have it, so that he can hoard his billions of dollars, instead of financing her “actor” life…

So she’s booked Transformers, a job that doesn’t prove any acting skills, but does prove her dad is friends with Michael Bay…and that Michael Bay wants to fuck her….and since then has been coasting on that celebrity, I mean it was a big movie…

I’m sure her dad has or will buy her more movie parts by financing the films she is in…but in the mean time, she is keeping busy with her boyfriend, who I assume is also a billionaire, where they are reenaticing, because she’s an actor…some Robert Durst rich person murder by the beach…fun…because she’s in bikini bottoms…

Posted in:Nicola Peltz

2015

26

Mar

Christina Milian in a Bikini Top of the Day

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Christina Milian is the fucking worst. I don’t know what it is about her that makes me hate everything she is and everything she represents, I guess it is that I usually like my fame whores when they are broke, down on their luck, and looking for that big break…and I only really care about the rich working desperate girls when they are in the transitional period from teen star, to internet whore…something that Milian did years ago, and has since made a ton of fucking money, making her bikini pics lame, attempts to get a following, becuase I guess she’s going through some kind of crisis…instead of parenting her kids..

This girl is at pool parties more than a college freshman with a trust fund…

Posted in:Christina Milian

2015

26

Mar

Nina Lund for Euroman of the DAy

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The nice thing about being an ignorant blogger who doesn’t really care about what I blog about, who has facial recognition blindness and an Alcohol problem is that I don’t really know, or care about any of these people, but more importantly, I don’t even know or care about where I am, what day it is…I feel like I post teh same pics everyday, they all look the same and I really just care about 2 things…more booze, more tits…

So this photoshoot for something called EUROMAN …that seems to be from Denmark…and I love danishes…especially when those danishes are topless models named Nina Lund…

Posted in:Nina Lund

2015

26

Mar

Isabeli Fontana for Harper’s Bazaar Spain of the Day

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There was a time – when Isabeli Fontana was an underage lingerie model from Brazil, who booked a Victoria’s secret campaign, a dream for all models, before ever graduating from high school, or even before having a driver’s license…yet Victoria’s Secret, never went to jail for this underage lingerie shoots…either did their photographers…since like Disney before them, they’ve been able to beat the legal system when it comes to these things…Sex Offending and inappropriate photoshoots with teen girls, is for poor people….

She’s been in the scene forever…because she is no longer that 16 year old lingerie model from Brazil getting naked for predatorial corporations…in fact she has a bunch of kids….with what I assume are rich people…and she was even engaged to a black man…who was one of Bob Marley’s son…scandalous…

Now she’s still mdoeling, and I think she’s fucking amazing, but I always have, so ere she is in Harper’s Bazaar…

Not naked, not exciting, but still Isabeli Fontana and sometimes that’s enough….

Posted in:Isabeli Fontana

2015

26

Mar

Anna Spechart for Barney’s of the Day

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My favorite thing about Anna Spechart, because it is the only thing I know about Anna Spechart, is the name Anna Spechart, because when you say it fast, it sounds like an old Jewish grandmother choking on her chopped liver sandwich, which is what I assume Jewish Grandmother’s eat, because that’s what their Grandmother vaginas smell like…

You see, I used to live next to a Jewish deli, and I figured that’s what Jewish Grandmother and everytime I would see the chopped liver in a pile, the smell would hit me and I’d say “if I had to describe what I think Jewish Grandmother pussy smells like, that is definitely what Jewish Grandmother pussy smells like”…but I haven’t had the chance to experience it, because Jewish Grandmother’s don’t really put out…

All this to say, Anna Spechart, is in a lingerie campaign, that may make you Spechart if you’re a 65 year old who still has a sex drive, that isn’t desensitized by internet porn..

Because I know the 16 year old boys who in my era were the demographic to jerk off to bikini catalog pics are saying to themselves “where’s the butt plug insertion?”….

Here are those pics anyway…

Posted in:Anna Spechart

2015

26

Mar

Kristin Cavallari May Have a Cameltoe of the Day

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Sometimes, I like to start my day by looking at pictures of people like Kristin Cavallari , who obviously have a better life than me, and who obviously have more money than me, and who obviously have more success, and even access to all the good things life has to offer than me…but who have fallen the fuck off…

Because you know, that despite being some reality show rich kid from 5 years ago…she wanted so much more for herself, and despite being set for life…she’s not where she wants to be, so as her cameltoe thanks to being a mom, that tries to suck in her shorts and her cute mom ass, walk down the street, you know that on the inside, she truly knows she’s failed, and for some reason, a reason I called losers come in all socio-econonic levels…that brings me hope….

So today, Kristin Cavallari, inspired me…or at least her cameltoe did….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari