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2015

04

Mar

Porn Stars Bull Riding of the Day

I don’t watch porn. People think I am lying when I tell them that, they think I am making some kind of silly joke to be funny, but the truth is that I prefer jerking off to nudes of real life people, the emotional connection, even though I have no emotions, is just stronger. Regular girls I know, or meet on tinder spreading ass for me, or making videos of them fucking panties, or spanking their pussies, or even filming the exact moment they cum…is just way hotter than sub-par girls getting paid 1000 dollars to do it in some cheesy setting…with a cheesy storyline…

I do like porn from the 70s, when it was shot on film, when less movies were being made, when girls had to do casting calls….

Now the internet just wants content, more and more shitty content, because people want more and more and more…that the porn companies will cast anyone willing to fuck on camera…and the whole allure or edginess of porn from the Glory Days when creepers like Larry Flynt were getting shot to make it legal…are long gone..

That said, I am totally into seeing Porn stars Hope Harper, Dava Fox and Prestine Edge bull riding.

Posted in:Pornstars

2015

04

Mar

Ariana Grande’s Ass in Concert of the Day

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I met a pornstar the other day who used to date one of Ariana Grande’s ex-boyfriends…

Her insight on Ariana Grande is that she was a creeper. An opportunist..but more interestingly, she said she was a girl who fucked EVERYBODY…and ANYBODY…and that it was a known thing in the industry that her ability to take Big Sean’s Big Dick was not being genetically pre-disposed to having a big vagina, but rather working her vagina to get to that point of easy access..all in efforts to create this career she now has….and superstar she now is…which I guess was totally worth it..

I am just amazed at how tiny her body is, and her ability to take such large things inside said body…and every time I look at her a wonder what the science behind it all is…and realize the answer is that she’s a whore and this is what whores do…FUN!!!

I mean, unless the porn chick was lying, which I can’t imagine would be the case, since pornstars are some of the most honest, well rounded people out there….right…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ariana Grande

2015

04

Mar

Candice Swanepoel for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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I think the most exciting thing about Candice Swanepoel is that she only gets paid 100,000 dollars from Victoria’s Secret. It’s like here you all were thinking she was all rich and famous thanks to Victoria’s Secret, and bitch isn’t even making a million dollars a year…she’s just thrown into the good life because of her celebrity, but can’t actually afford the good life, leading to being forced to date a billionaire who can afford her….

I mean, that and how good she looks in a bathing suit, that is part of Victoria’s Secret new push, the premise of their new infomercial on primetime TV, the whole go after Sports Illustrated and win attitude…that makes all you losers who watch this shit winners too, because instead of watching whatever shitty show you watch, you’ll get to see girls in a bikini, something that probably doesn’t happen in your shitty trailer park too often…right…

Here are other pics from their SWIM catalog:

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

04

Mar

Elsa Pataky for Women’s Health of the Day

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Elsa Pataky is an actress…best known for her appearance on Snakes on a Plane…

She’s Spanish and I love Spanish food….so I guess by default I love Spanish women..since they are the ones cooking it….

She’s old…and I don’t love old, but I don’t mind old when it looks like this in a bathing suit…especially after having 3 Chris Hemsworth babies…

From what I’ve been told about Spain, other than that the women are “passionate” and by passionate I mean insane and will cut off your dick if you look at another girl…is that they don’t wear bathing suit tops, so I don’t know what the fuck is going on here…but clearly somewhere down the line we are being lied to…

But based on google, she’s not into being topless, or maybe she’s really into being topless, because she sued a magazine for posting topless pics of her and got 310,000 Euros for it…probably a better pay day than anything she’s done…

Making her not very Spanish at all…but I guess it’s a good marketing hook.

Posted in:Elsa Pataky

2015

04

Mar

Cailin Russo for an Underwear Shoot of the Day

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Cailin Russo is one of these instagram models who has a little bit more authenticity thanks to her dad being in a shitty 90s pop-punk band called New Found Glory, that I can assume involved knocking her groupie mom up when her mom was probably 18, thanks to these creepy pop-punk dudes from the 90s being total creepers are girls across the country who would groupie at their events. I guess they were no different than Rockers of the 70s and 80s, Rappers of the 2000s, and DJS of the 2010s..not that it matters, we all know that musicians have groupies and that’s why they are musicians…and that groupies get pregnant to bring the musician baby to life as the ultimate in fan girl / child support checks….

Here she is in a shoot that bores me for some underwear company, mainly because I find her boring, unless she does nude shoots, which she does….I’m just too lazy to look for them…I mean I like my panties to look less like diapers on a bitch..and a lot more naked so that I can jerk off to the pics….maybe I’m too picky…and have unrealistic expectations out of models…

Posted in:Cailin Russo

2015

04

Mar

Meryl Streep’s Creepy Clones of the Day

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Meryl Streep is celebrated as one of the most talented actresses out there, and I guess based on her lack of sex appeal alone, she’d have to be a pretty amazing actress to have the career that she’s had while looking the way she does. That’s not to say she’s ugly, or some kind of acting monster, it’s just to say that her look isn’t one I’d ever masturbate to…not in the 70s and not today…and if I was a casting director in the 70s when she happened, I would have required the kind of blowjob that leaves my testicles sticking out of my urethra to give her her first break…

All this to say, she’s got a bunch of clones that I guess she made in her lab in the pool house of her mansion…and this is what they look like…the Next generation of Streep, being introduced to the world..in whatever this is a campaign for…and it’s creeping me out.

Posted in:Meryl Streep

2015

04

Mar

Izabel Goulart’s Panty Flash of the Day

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Izabel Goulart had a high fashion Panty Flash, which is not like a Paris Hilton panty flash, in which she has hired the paparazzi to snap off a picture of her panties as she gets out of a car, something the general public thinks is a natural whoring, but anyone who knows Paris Hilton would know is not some random event, partially because she is a fame whore, but more importantly, because any panties her vagina comes in contact with would be so soiled…

No, this is not a post about Paris Hilton, it is about Izabel Goulart’s panty flashing for a fashion shot, and not for the paparazzi…which is still panties being flashed and thus still count as a panty flash to me, since about the same production goes into this as panty flashes you see on the fame whore…and all panty flashes are created equally….in this affirmative action kind of world…

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2015

04

Mar

Brittany Burke is Pretty Amazing for Marie Claire UK of the Day

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I’ve never heard of Brittany Burke…but the most interesting thing about her is that there is a Porn Star with her name….so instead of changing out her name to something more model, she decided to ride with the google results of her being a girl with huge fake tits taking it up the ass…I assume she’s been dealing with that for her entire high school life, teased about it, and now just making a name for herself without letting that porn slut get her down…something I guess any of you with porn addictions probably deal with on a daily basis…

All this to say, she’s Americam, I don’t care for her face, it is long and freaks me out, but I do like these pics of her being subtle slutty…because subtle slutty is still slutty..

Posted in:Brittany Burke

2015

04

Mar

Strippers Congratulate the Bushwackers of the Day

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I never watched wrestling. Even as a young kid, I was more into playing with Barbies, washing their hair and telling them they were pretty girls, ass I rubbed their pussy mound and nippleless tits, as people around me would call me a little faggot, when really I was just practicing ripping off panties for when I was older..

I just thought dudes on dudes, especially coupled with bad acting was homoerotic and beneath me. I preferred my boners to come from inanimate objects..

But I do remember the Bushwackers, and apparently they were inducted into the Wrestling Hall of Fame, and in keeping things as classy as Wrestling, you know the lowest form of sport, loved by immigrants and white supremicists in their trailer parks alike…Rick’s Cabaret, a publicly traded strip club I would buy shares in just because investing in a strip club is funny to me, threw them a party…

Here are some of the pics…also funny to me…

Posted in:stepNEWS

2015

04

Mar

Rosalind Lipsett in a Bikini of the Day

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Her name is Rosalind Lipsett. She’s Irish but based in LA..and a year ago, I thought I fell in love with her, despite having no soul, because she reminded me of classic model looks that I grew up masturbating to, coupled with good Irish family values, you know people who don’t lock their doors, who live what is seemingly a simpler life that you read in a Dickens novel, filled with Leprochauns and pots of gold, and other delusions that come from a diet of Potatoes and hard booze…

I mean, before Rosalind, I just assumed Irish women, were toothless, big, pirate sounding monsters with their good Catholic values, and the guilt that comes from straying from those good Catholic values, that leads to drinking heavily all day everyday, was the perfect fit for a drunk like me….but turns out they can be as magical as the Jameson shot they rode in on…

What a fucking body, all it is missing is my face being sat on…right?

Pictures by @floydboy

Posted in:Rosalind Lipsett