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2014

05

Aug

Lily Allen’s Horrible Close Up Panty Flash of the Day

I didn’t bother GOOGLING Lily Allen to see if she’s actually opening up for Miley Cyrus or if that’s just a rumor I made up, because I would have found it funny that her whole act is making fun of Miley and popstars because she wants to be one so bad, only for Miley to call her out on her bullshit and give her loser ass a job, out of pity, opening for her….I’ve made up stories about a fatter Lily Allen before…like her abortion she masked as a miscarriage that led to her blocking me on twitter, because I guess she didn’t like my tweets…in a pre cyberbully era..

But then again, I don’t ever think about Lily Allen and her sloppy, even when skinny, old even when not that old, mom of two even after her abortion she masked as a miscarriage body…

Until she flashes her cooter, a cooter you know she can fit large objects inside based on her size and her kids alone. I’m talking double cucumber…maybe even triple…not that we’d know since she’s got it tightly wrapped in panties..

I guess her whole experience in pathetic, desperate and there’s something fun about that…but maybe I’m blinded by her pretending she’s 14…we call this a midlife identity crisis

TO SEE THE REST OF THE HORRIBLE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lily Allen

2014

05

Aug

Michea Crawford for Agent Provocateur of the Day

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stepGIRL who never was, Michea Crawford, who is one of my biggest regrets, is now the body for Agent Provocateur’s catalog and she’s fucking amazing.

As much as I love seeing this girl in her photoshoots, you know hometown hero, who I am reminded of all the times I used to go to the same parties as her in Montreal and I didn’t try to make her fall in love with me through interpretive dance, love songs, date rape drugs, or really any tools that would make a girl fall in love with me..even for just an hour…

Obviously, based not these pics, you can imagine that she was impossible to not notice, it was obvious she was going to go onto great things years later, like this…but I was too drunk to figure out how to be a part of that…or even figure out how to get her sit on my face…something you’d think all girls would go for…but that I am rejected for more often than not…I guess eating out isn’t treated the same way as getting blow jobs…

Either way, as much as I usually hate other people’s success, especially people I couldn’t have signed and recruited back before they were actual models, I like seeing what Michea is up to…probably because she’s half naked and amazing.

What a babe…

Posted in:Michea Crawford

2014

05

Aug

Lucy Hale Slutty Enough for Cosmo of the Day

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I guess Lucy Hale is some very famous young actress who I think is on the show Pretty Little Liars with other really famous young actresses you’ve probably barely heard of unless you watch Pretty Little Liars because you’re a high school gym teacher and it gives you a reference point to connect with your students before fucking them.

That said, she did Cosmo, she looked good, she showed some cleavage and was a little conservative, which I think is nice to see in this world filled with gutter attention seeking naked everywhere sluts…

There’s a science behind seduction, and even in this over exposed, sexed up world, I like to think, a girl who knows what she is doing, doesn’t have to show the world her anus to get loved or wanted…even though I love looking at anus.

You see I’m not conflicted, there are porn whores for the nudity, but the girls I actually want to jerk off on and to are the opposite of that.

That’s not to say I want to jerk off on or to Lucy Hale, but I would…here are those cosmo pics…but more entertaining than the pics themselves is her dad’s text to her about the cover…

Daddy’s little girl posing next to sex articles…bad girl.

Posted in:Lucy Hale

2014

05

Aug

Shana Payet for Bambi Magazine of the Day

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These are some possibly old pics of a model named Shana Payet for BAMBI Magazine by a guy named Marijo Cobretti, because after staring at UK Tabloid Whore tits all day, I felt the need to purify my soul with a hot little hipster model in a hot little hipster photoshoot for the sake of fashion, or art, or whatever…that I am just happy isn’t tabloid for fame..but rather because girls like being in front of a camera…

Posted in:Marijo Cobretti|Shana Payet

2014

05

Aug

Millie Mackintosh Topless on the Beach of the Day

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Jesus. UK girls are a whole pile of fun. This Millie Mackintosh is apparently a UK reality star, married to someone naked PROFESSOR GREEN. Who posted this video of her sleeping on their way back from IBIZA where she got topless because she wanted him to…

I like that on her BLOG she wrote:

I usually try to avoid reacting to stories in the press concerning me.

Bitch, you don’t try to avoid anything when it comes to press, because everything you do is to get in the press. I don’t believe you don’t react to stories in the press, because you seed those stories.

This kind of shit, you know the person behind the topless pics…is just everything wrong in the world…except maybe for topless pics…those are ok…but much more interesting when not intentionally in effort to get in the paparazzi….it’s like it takes everything pure and beautiful out of topless pics…and for that I hate this attention seeking pile of shit…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Millie Mackintosh

2014

05

Aug

Top 10 Kimberly Garner Rockin’ Side Tit of the Day

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#453172282 / gettyimages.com

The highlight of my life – you know the moment I thought I peaked but didn’t realize I peaked until it was too late – was when Kimberly Garner, an unknown UK scripted reality star, with one of the hottest bikini bodies I’ve seen, especially considering it is out of the UK, where most girls are Grey Skinned and shaped like a doughy potato, or like some trashcan stripper with absurd sized fake tits…giving her bonus points or some leniency when it comes to her bikini body…

Then she took it all away from me…by unfollowing me – reminding me that I am not relevant, important, or ever going to have her sit on my face…

The good news is that I’ll deal, there are a million other girls who don’t want to sit on my face, even really ugly ones, for me to forget exist until side tit at red carpet events happen…and I am reminded of the day they broke my soul…for about 3 minutes before remembering that I don’t have a soul…

Here are some pics of her tit, because I am not petty and I will celebrate what was and not pretend we never existed as one cohesive unit for about an hour…through the internet…

Here she is dressed for Prom….at some Premiere she got invited to cuz she made the “barely famous enough, but just famous enough” cut.

#453184272 / gettyimages.com

#453184254 / gettyimages.com

TO SEE ALL THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kimberly Garner

2014

05

Aug

Lisa Snowden is a British Nobody Crying for Attention Proper of the Day

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Lisa Snowden is a British TV host who I’ve never heard of, so I am going to assume you’ve never heard of her either, but she definitely is hoping people hear of her, because she’s simulating sex with some black guy in the park in her bra, which may be normal behavior for some street hooker trying to make a living, but not for some woman who has been on TV and who I guess has some level of fame where she is from. I mean at least enough to get the paparazzi to take pics of the shit.

I am not offended by girls with huge tits in their bra in public. I am not offended by white girls who fuck black guys. I get the appeal, not because I want to fuck black guys, but because white guys are little bitches..

I just think there’s a level of trash going on with this girl that is better suited for people who don’t get on TV…

I am all for girls acting like porn chicks. I am all for girls putting themselves out there and fucking in public for some crazy stunt. I just think girls should act like ladies. It’s much more fun when they actually leak the nude pics…because even though we know they are intentional…we can at least try to believe the lie. With this girl, it’s like, we get what you are doing, we will look, but we won’t like or masturbate to it. Which to me means she’s doing her slut hustle all wrong. She should hire me as her slut hustle consultant.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lisa Snowden

2014

05

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Greasy in a Bikini in Greece of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan lives….even though her ass looks like it may belong on a corpse…the kind of corpse that would make me a necrophiliac because all I want to do is bury my face in this and eat it all up…only to see if I survive or get arrested for trespassing on the cemetery that is her existence…

A corpse that I believe will rise from the dead and pollute the world with more bullshit because as long as she’s alive, there is a strong chance she’ll have a comeback tour…where she reinvents herself and plays a broken girl who overcomes all obstacles that were in fact self inflicted…only to win an Oscar…I think her fake tits will carrry her through this…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2014

05

Aug

Charlotte McKinney for Terry Richardson of the Day

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Charlotte McKinney was some Instagram model from Florida who I am sure I’ve emailed before, because I was drawn to her stupidly massive tits, but she ignored me…as most girls do…especially when they are just about to hit the mainstream. She’s booked Guess? and now shooting for Terry Richardson….all while he possibly cums on hertits…because that’s just the kind of girls her tits look like they are…I mean when you look at her, it’s hard to see anything but tits…and tits, despite not being a tit guy…still speak directly to my penis…which means even though I don’t think big tits are awesome, anytime I see big tits in public, I want them in my mouth…I blame breast feeding as a child for that…this tit thing speaks directly to my core…and Charlotte McKinney, who you can email at Charmck89@gmail.com, according to her instagram , is doing it well…

Posted in:Charlotte McKinney

2014

05

Aug

Lourdes Leon in a Bikini of the Day

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Lourdes Leon is Madonna’s 17 year old daughter and she’s rocking 17 year old tits that thanks to the hormones in the food are a constant amongst 17 year olds and thanks to the internet and the exposure to porn are something that they aren’t shy to showcase whenever they get a chance and thanks to their rich as fuck hooker of a mother – they’ve learned how to be the best junior slut seducing men to get ahead there is. I mean when you are raised by a mainstream not quite a pornstar but might as well have been one based on all the dudes she fucked..you know a nude model turned billionaire ego…you learn all the good morals and values in life…not quite proven by these pics, but I have a feeling…we’ll be hearing more and more from her as she gets more and more access to her trust fund.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lourdes Leon