DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

18

Jul

Irina Shayk in her Bikini of the Day

Nothing like a reminder that if you are a Russian prostitute, you can negotiate a good deal with a rich man who your pimp is talking to, that will take you to new places…from the plastic surgeon to the pages of magazines…creating your own little celebrity that feeds your ego…for very little work. All she has to do is make a monthly 4 days meet and greet….and the rest of the time..she can just kick it in a bikini being awesome…You know all the Russians back home envy her as they pee on webcam for fat middle of the road americans…while she’s doing this…I’m talking equally hot girls…and if that’s not a win…nothing is..

I don’t think Irina Shayk is the best model, or even the hottest model. I don’t think she deserves her fame and celebrity…but I like the Russian soulless plight…and I think Irina Shayk is a good mascot for that…especially when half naked…I’m a fan.

Posted in:Irina Shayk

2014

18

Jul

Lady Gaga Nipple On Instagram of the Day

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Lady Gaga is doing the whole “Post my nipple on instagram, get noticed” bullshit, because no one has told her that she doesn’t matter. That her nipple doesn’t matter. That she’s an ugly fucking monster who had no business ever being in front of the camera, and that she was more of a behind the scenes kind of creative director, writer, concept person…that really sold herself short when deciding to put herself out there to prove that she had what it takes to be a popular starlet…feeding her insecurity that was justified because her face is so awful…

We’ve seen her topless before, it’s boring, the only good that can come from this is if bitch gets deleted cuz if she’s not on social media…she matters less and less…forcing her to dig deeper and deeper into shock value…that I can only assume will lead to her in her own disgustingly vile porn…that I will watch and even jerk off to…but until then..she’s the enemy..

Posted in:Lady Gaga

2014

18

Jul

Jaime Pressly Hot Ass in a Bikini of the Day

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Jaime Pressly is out in a bikini, showing off her hot ass, that looks real fit, despite being in its 30s.

I don’t really remember what Jaime Pressly did to get famous…

I just remember her PEEING OUTSIDE OF AN LA RESTAURANT WHEN DRUNK

And that may be all I need to know….to know she’s a perfect specimen of woman – who didn’t let her fame or celebrity get in the way of taking a piss when bitch felt like taking a piss…

It is the highlight of her life, her existence, at least for me…and these bikini pics don’t even come close to the level of amazing her PEEING OUTSIDE OF AN LA RESTAURANT WHEN DRUNK Video has…

But any excuse to revisit it is good enough for me…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS – CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jaime Pressly

2014

18

Jul

Banned University of Warwick Rowing Calendar of the Day

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I didn’t read this story…but apparently this UNIVERSITY OF WARWICK ROWING CALENDAR got banned from Facebook and everyone is making a big deal about it.

Making me think it didn’t get banned from Facebook at all, but was rather just said to have been banned from Facebook to get assholes like me posting the shit like it was an actual scandal…

I mean hell, it’s a bunch of jacked rowing chicks naked and half naked…but not in a good way. I don’t see one labia, I don’t even see a fucking nipple, so I doubt anything was banned…

Maybe I am just jealous because in the 6 times I’ve been banned from Facebook and 4 times I’ve been banned from instagram…coupled with being banned 3 times from Myspace before giving up, and 3 times on Friendster because I am old…as well as a few Youtube accounts, one Gmail account, countless other bullshit internet communities I’ve joined…shit never went viral…in fact no one even cared…making me think no one will notice if I banned myself from this site.

Here’s the rowers and their boring scandal that’s hardly a scandal…

Posted in:stepNEWS

2014

18

Jul

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Ass in a Bikini for Instagram of the Day

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Yesterday, my friend posted this TOP 10 KIM KARDASHIAN bullshit set to her in a bikini…I guess that the hired paparazzi took when she was planning her divorce and figuring out her contingency plan for the baby she had for ratings – like she was the Truman Show…

I guess her own social media retoucher wasn’t available or had the day off, because she’s putting this sloppy fat ass out there a day late…

I am more into HER SEX TAPE being a message to young girls that interracial sex on video can make you rich…than I am into her ass that attracts all that interracial sex. I find her vile and disgusting to look at on all fronts…even if she’s just pranking the fucking world…like a trolling troll…

I just don’t like seeing her half naked…unless of course it was her lifeless body being pulled out of the pool she had a massive coronary trying to swim laps in…caused by bad diet and silicon poisoning from her ass injections…

I don’t know…but here it is…a whole pile of slop…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2014

18

Jul

Elle Macpherson’s Ass in a Bikini of the Day

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The first model I remember jerking off to was Elle Macpherson.

It was 1989, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit was awesome and celebrating their 25th year. They released a VHS tape and I watched the shit out of it.

I assume their was at least one nipple exposed, back when exposed nipples mattered more than they did today, because not everyone was exposing their nipples, it was reserved for top tier high paid models, not that models ever get paid to do Sports Illustrated Issue, but in that era it was actually a honor to be selected, now they’ll just use any pig that has a lot of internet heat…

Doesn’t matter, what does matter is that Elle Macpherson exists, she’s my favorite thing about Australia…and the reason I love Australian girls, despite their abrasive white trash accents…and now, well into her 50s…she’s fucking awesome…and I’m still a fan, but maybe because I have a hard time moving on with my life, I should go reflect on that…while you look at this ass.

I don’t believe this is real.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Elle Macpherson

2014

18

Jul

Abbey Clancy Shitty Pussy Flash of the Day

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Abbey Clancy is a WAG, which I guess you could easily confuse for a hooker, because that’s kind of what Soccer players go for.

You know the kind of babe who can seduce one of these fuckers when she was a cocktail waitress, only to have him get her into the media and on TV….

Her story is way different though, she’s not like those other girls…this one actually has a pro football playing brother, who may have opened some doors for her to open her legs, something apparently she’s still good enough at….

You know, the kind of girl who did it on her own, in 2006, she was on a reality show which coincidentally is the same year she started dating her husband….but I’m sure he had nothing to do with it..

And really, it doesn’t matter, because she’s showing plump otter labia busting out of her panties which getting out of her car…and I love that shit..even when it’s shit…seriously..

Give me a Labia busting out of a panty any day, and I’ll be happy..kind of like Abbey Clancy when it comes to wallets to fuck…but in her defence she’s put in 8 years with the guy, there a comes a point where that wallet fucking isn’t really wallet fucking at all…she’s paid her dues people…now look at her vag.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Abbey Clancy

2014

18

Jul

Toni Garrn in a Bathing Suit for The Edit of the Day

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Toni Garrn is another one of Leonardo DiCaprio’s beards. You know his fake model girlfriend that has been added to his list of Fake model girlfriends…that just make us think that models aren’t models at all..but rather prostitutes working in the Brothel that is Victoria’s Secret….

Girls don’t like fucking their co-workers exes, even when their exes are Leonardo…

I think the marketing team at Victoria’s Secret is going to need to find a few more A-Listers to send their girls to…just to dilute the vagina pool from Leo’s semen…

It’s just too much Leo, that he should be the one wearing the panties in their Catalog, since whenever I look at their models, that’s pretty much all I see…his residue cheapening their stock…

Posted in:Toni Garrn

2014

18

Jul

All of the Jessica Alba GQ Pics of the Day

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Jessica Alba was in GQ, or is in the upcoming issue of GQ, because she’s Jessica Alba and people still love her, even though she’s never really done anything substantial with her career.

Sure she’s hot, got in movies, became rich and famous using her looks, leveraged that fame to create brands and other revenue streams…ok fine…she’s done a lot with her career, I just don’t think it’s very noble, like how she got pregnant to lock in her man, or like how her gardener is Mexican, even though she’s Mexican, despite pretending she isn’t Mexican, because all these famous Mexicans always shit on being Mexican, like being Mexican is a bad thing…

I’ve posted some of the pics, the rest were released, so I’m posting them also…she looks good for a mom of 2 in her 30s…which is saying a lot, since women normally die for me at 30…kids or not.

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2014

18

Jul

Chrissy Teigen Shitty See Through of the Day

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Chrissy Teigen wore a see through shirt a few days ago. She posted it to her instagram. Her fans that she doesn’t deserve, because she’s not very hot, downloaded the shit and played with the brightness and contrast so that you can see her nipple. Nipple that she’s had exposed in photoshoots before. Nipple that is hardly interesting, kind of dumpy, but like any gold digger, smart enough to land a man right before he gets actually famous, make him co-dependent, so that all his fame and fortune he attributes to you…so much so that his last song is about you…which will hold up nice in divorce court.

She’s an enemy of the site, she’s gone to war with me. I don’t really care, I figure old sloppy bitches who never made it deserve someone to target their frustration on, and it might as well be me…I am selfless like that…

Posted in:Chrissy Teigen