DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

19

Jun

50 Year Old Yasmin Le Bon for Speedo of the Day

You probably don’t know who Yasmin Le Bon is, because I don’t know who Yasmin Le Bon is and I’ve been at this bullshit for a decade.

Sure I have a shitty memory, I have facial recognition blindness, all these bitches look and act the same and kind of blend into each other….not to mention my mind is polluted by all the fame whores who occupy most of the internet’s time…

Well it turns out she’s a 50 year old model…so she’s too old to have ever been an internet sensation, since the internet only went mainstream when she was in her late 30s, already a dated body…

But Speedo booked her for their old lady swimsuit collection, that I guess is SPANX like and here are the pics, even though I hate old ladies and bikini campaigns…and one piece bathings suits…meaning this shit has little going for it.

Posted in:Yasmin Le Bon

2014

19

Jun

Anastasia Ashley is in a Surf Contest Right Now of the Day

No Comments »

Anastasia Ashley is more than just a surf booty on instagram, she actually competes…and that’s what I am watching right now….because girls who can surf always impress me but more importantly, look good when they are in a half squat and skimpy bikini bottom…doing things I can’t do….

The waves are shit, but I figure the best way to root for like her number 1 cheerleader I am…in her in her heat – is to stare at some pics of her from her instagram…featuring Ass…

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

19

Jun

Samantha Gradoville Boring Catalog Bikini Pics of the DAy

No Comments »

Samantha Gradoville is some model…and here she is in some catalog pics that like all catalog pics are uninspiring, even shitty and boring, but still featuring a tight bodied model in a bikini, with nipples and pussy definition photoshopped out…it lacks a lot of rawness or artistic creative direction that people could jerk off to…but here it is anyway, cuz it’s still a model in a bikini…

I prefer when she’s NAKED FOR FASHION

Posted in:Samantha Gradoville

2014

19

Jun

Sean McFarlane by David Hauserman for C-Heads of the Day

No Comments »

C-Heads is a fashion magazine or collective that gets less famous models like this girl SEAN being shot by a photographer named David Hauserman I may have never heard of, but who could be a big deal, cuz I’m more about the girls getting half naked, or fully naked for art and fashion and some instagram hits…the fact that everyone is a model…works for me.

Posted in:David Hauserman|Sean McFarlane

2014

19

Jun

Lupita Nyong’o for Vogue of the Day

No Comments »

I can’t figure out if this is fashion erotica, or fashion racism, or if this has nothing to do with her straight from Africa, but no the Africa you racists are thinking, you know the dung shanty, AIDS ridden africa you send money to an adopted child, that really goes to a scamming Christian group…she’s more the top tier Africa with mansions and good living, I mean how the hell else does she become an Oscar winner…some fucking foster parent program? Naw dude, she’s rich.

Just cuz she played a slave doesn’t mean she is one, in fact, I have a feeling she may own a few back home….

I guess what it comes down to is that nothing says Africa like an exercise ball..

Posted in:Lupita Nyong'o

2014

19

Jun

Laura Whitmore has the Upskirt of the Day

No Comments »

I have no idea who Laura Whitmore is, but as it turns out, I do know what at least 10 percent of her vagina looks like, and it is not all that exciting, but probably more exciting than anything else Laura Witmore has ever done in her life….

This old school. getting out of car, look at my pubic hair peaking out of my tight panties, brings back memories of a simpler time, when this kind of thing would make a girl famous…but now…you can see this just by leaving the house…as all girls are a lot sluttier than they used to be…and panty flashes are considered tame…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Laura Whitmore

2014

19

Jun

Genevieve Morton’s Lazy Workout Video of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t like Genevieve Morton’s look at all. I think she’s dumpy, fat, uninteresting…the bootleg, South African Kate Upton, that’s Sports Illustrated loves, but that makes me think Sports Illustrated is lazy, because there are way better looking South Africans, this one’s a sloppy fail….

I have heard that she’s a gold digger, opportunist, who moved to America and leverages her Sports Illustrated resume to fuck or at least suck off big Producers in hopes of getting an acting job. I don’t know if that’s fact, I would take her more as the girl who would be at the all you can eat buffet, stalking up….

As far as I’m concerned, her best move would be to post videos of her and Kate Upton competitive eating, because it would be appropriate for people like me, who can see past the big tits and see dumpy….

But instead she made fitness videos and even gave herself a Hashtag #genevievemortonfitness. Following the trend all the other models are doing….only hard to take seriously because her workout of choice is as lazy as her body looks…

At least she Made Up For It With THis Nipple on Instagram Rebellion…

So apparently she booked her first modelling job ever. I always assumed the only job she would book is the pig in a pig wrestling match…but I’m an asshole…

Posted in:Genevieve Morton

2014

19

Jun

Jillian Michaels Ripped and Naked for SHAPE of the Day

No Comments »

I like lesbians, mainly because they don’t like me or what I do or anything I represent, even though if they weren’t so busy being uptight thanks to not getting fucked, they’d be a little more open minded and realize that we are in this together…we both like the pussy…let’s be LESBROS…

But instead I get “you’re the reason I hate dick, you’re a misogynist, etc, etc”…even though we’re on the same team…

I am also all for fit girls doing fitness. I just spent an hour staring a girl in short shorts doing sprints, all tight bodied and I loved it…I mean I hate fat, lazy bitches, and fitness takes work, and I appreciate it…

I am also all about naked chicks…

So in theory, Naked, Lesbian, Fit girl…are three things that when combined, I’d dig it…even dick it knowing I can’t get it…

But instead, shit’s just making me uncomfortable…a little too ripped…for this pervert…you know cuz there comes a point in every Fitness models fitness, they they cross that invisible line into dude/body builder/etc…not that this is considered naked..it’s not like I can see her spread dick clit…

Posted in:Jillian Michaels

2014

19

Jun

Colleen Rooney’s a WAG in a Pink Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

COLLEEN ROONEY is some WAG, who’s brother is in the soccer world, and who has fucked some of his friends, ending up with one of them….

She used to be Colleen McLoughlin but that was 5 years ago and before she was married…and based on my extensive research, she’s always been a dumpy chick, which I guess is what the norm is in the UK, since all the fit girls, are trashy Glamour girls who the other soccer players marry…I guess Rooney, was more into personality than slut.

I assume she’s in Brazil during the world cup, but I don’t care, I’m just posting her as a random slob in a bikini to inspire you fat girls to send me bikini pics, I don’t judge…I take it all.