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2014

07

Feb

Heidi Klum is in Women’s Health of the Day

Whenever I see Heidi Klum…all I think is how Seal and his scabby scarred face…probably destroyed her genitals with his massive African cock as they lived out some kind of German Aryan race fetish that involved a lot of rape fantasy and feces…because she’s fucking german..

I guess I also think about how old she is…even when she’s in GIF for some Women’s Health magazine..where I am sure she doesn’t talk about how eating “negro feces”…while getting pregnant with dozens of his babies…is the elixir of a long healthy life…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Heidi Klum

2014

07

Feb

Candice Swanepoel Walking the Runway for New York Fashion Week of the Day

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It turns out that when Candice Swanepoel is walking the runway in New York for fashion week….she is substantially…I am talking really fucking substantially less interesting than when she’s half naked for Victoria’s Secret, showing her lingerie and bikini body…if anything… I don’t understand why she even ventured down this road of trying to be legit model..just fucking focus on what matters…being half fucking naked girl…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2014

07

Feb

Lily McMenamy Grimy for LOVE MAGAZINE of the Day

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In case you didn’t know, the fashion magazines are taking pretty aw fucking pics, and I love it, because it takes away the photoshopped, plastic look to everything, that even girls on instagram are doing, and it allows models, who are hired because they are hotter than the trash on Instagram, to really shine in their element…plus it reminds me of amateur porn shot on an iPhone in a basement crack den apartment with an unstable girl who ran away from home, is high and looking for 50 bucks and a good time…

I mean this looks like it smells and that’s why it turns me on.

Her name is Lily, I never heard of her, but I love her…it’s for LOVE MAGAZINE

Posted in:Lily McMenamy

2014

07

Feb

Miranda Kerr’s Mirror Selfie of the Day

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Miranda Kerr realizes that when no one gives you work because you had sex with Bieber and kinda blacklisted yourself, tainted your image, made companies think you’re an unprofessional, unstable nightmare…

You gotta get in front of the mirror, tell the haters to keep hating while telling yourself you got it all figured out and the best way to do that is in the form of a selfie…that you make less obvious by incorporating props like a stuffed animal..even if it’s clearly an excuse to stay relevant through bras…

Good times.

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2014

07

Feb

Adriana Lima for March’s Vogue Japan of the Day

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Seeing models, like Adriana Lima, who were hot young babes a decade ago…but way past their prime, yet still hanging o because they still get work…even when there are way younger models willing to be way more exciting than this…but they just don’t have the brand name behind them…reminds me of watching moms lactating in the coffee shop…

The glory days are over…the industry needs to realize…and here are the pics…

Posted in:Adriana Lima

2014

07

Feb

Nina Dobrev Bikini Jump of the Day

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The bikini jump is probably the cheesiest of cheesy bikini pics…it reminds me of a tampon commercial or the freeze frame at the end of an 80s sitcom…but I don’t expect much creativity from some candy-coated Canadian who is famous as shit in the States, living the American dream because she booked a solid show…I mean if anything she’s a sheltered brat who has no idea what’s up…that’s why she’s producing this nonsense…but what it comes down to is that…she’s in a bikini with a bunch of friends…but cheesy or not it’s like a Facebook vacation album I would jerk off to…making it pretty fucking good enough.

Posted in:Nina Dobrev

2014

07

Feb

News Report on the Condition of the Road Win of the Day

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I don’t know what third world this shit is from, but I am going to say Africa, a place that needs to stop trying to recruit white people money, since they can afford video cameras and broadcast TV…it’s like sell your fucking Mercedes and feed the AIDS babies you assholes…

But I do know that it’s pretty funny to see the news report on the condition of the roads end in an accident…that may have been staged to get their message across but that is pretty fucking awesome if it wasn’t…

Africa, or wherever this is, I’m assuming africa cuz he’s black, has it all figured out.

Posted in:Videos

2014

07

Feb

Dakota Johnson’s Hot Enough for Elle of the Day

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Dakota Johnson is some Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith offspring who is just trying to make a name for herself by leveraging her parent’s name and contacts and landing some 50 Shades of Grey shit that will define her career because every horny mom and their daughter will go see the shit to see how close to their masturbation fantasies the fucking thing hits…which won’t be very close…and will leave everyone disappointed…and everyone hating on poor Dakota and the role of nepotism to land acting roles…but the good news is..we’ll all be seeing her naked…because when you’re raised by overpaid hookers in Hollywood…you kind of become one…FUN! Hollywood Porn!!

Posted in:Dakota Johnson

2014

07

Feb

Drunk Midget Shits and Pisses his Pants of the Day

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I guess his little liver couldn’t handle the self hatred in being a midget that leads to alcoholism, and just makes being a midget all that much worse, because shitting your pants and walking the streets is more humiliating that having midget limbs and living the midget life…a life good for porn..but a life where you’re just a novelty people laugh at…

This is some sad clown shit and I love it…it needs it’s own TV show…

Posted in:Videos

2014

07

Feb

Pam Anderson’s Got Hep C Hair of the DAy

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Thanks to the whole Woody Allen thing, I asked the public, my friends, fans and admirers….my internet Valentines and haters…who they would have wanted to be molested by when they were 7…because as someone who doesn’t remember if he was molested, doesn’t care if he was molested, and doesn’t like hearing the drama from people who have been molested, I am heartless when it comes to age old issues great minds have been diddling for generations..like it is the foundation of humanity or some shit…not that 7 year olds, even orphans no one cares about but that get adopted to feed some spoiled Lindsay Lohan of her Generations ego…..

And more than one person said Pam Anderson…because I probably talk to a lot of 30 year olds…or even 40 year olds…cuz being 7 when Pam Anderson mattered would make you pretty fucking old…but not as old as Pam Anderson…someone dying of liver disease who cut off all her hair…because looking like a porn granny on her way to go knitting with a dick in her battered asshole…who you can almost take seriously..is her new look…unless of course she’s got cancer…and this is her cancer hair…in which case..I’m an asshole…but you already knew that…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Pam Anderson