DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

12

Dec

Ashley Smith Dancing of the Day

I used to flirt with Ashley Smith on the internet…unfortunately, my flirting is called being creepy…then she got famous and too important for my gap tooth big tit model fetish….She ignored my love letters then…she really ignores now…but that doesn’t change anything on my end…it just makes me like her more…

The good news is that thanks to the internet, even when she ignores me, and pretends I don’t exist, I can watch her dance videos and feel like I’m masturbating in the corner watching her in the party from the comfort from my home, and for that I am thankful, even if being thankful is so last month…and now we are all onto Christmas miracles.

Posted in:Ashley Smith

2013

12

Dec

Alyssa Miller isn’t Very Hot in Galore of the Day

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Alyssa Miller bores me.

That’s why I did two posts on her today.

I really just wanted to make sure of it…

I guess it all has to do with hating everything to do with Jake Gyllenhall at my core…even if I know he doesn’t actually have sex with her….I see a pussy that pretends she has sex with him to get more high profile and all I see is red…

So she could be the hottest bitch around, but I just can’t buy into it…she’s an opportunist slut and represents all that is wrong in the world…and I could get more into it, but why bother, just looking at her cleavage and having it not cancel out how shitty I thinks she is, means she really is that shit…

But you may like her and I am accommodating like that.

Posted in:Alyssa Miller

2013

12

Dec

Marloes Horst in Harper’s Bazaar Australia of the Day

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It really is Marloes Horst’s year because she’s popping up everywhere.

She’s from the Netherlands but more importantly, she’s from Victoria’s Secret, a country of its own where all the girls are dragged into some cage and put to work…and if they don’t smile properly, they get punished.

I guess she’s one of the well-behaved ones, because they are putting fucking muscle into her. They probably got her at a discount and figure they can maximize their investment…by placing her in other magazines…and none of that matters all that matters is something I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, any girl who’s last name is whores and the “T” is silent…is a friend of mine…no matter who owns them…

This girl is amazing…

Posted in:Marloes Horst

2013

12

Dec

Bianca Balti for Esquire Mexico of the Day

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Bianca Balti is an Italian model I wouldn’t mind getting pregnant but would rather just stepfather her already existing kid cuz some other dude beat me to it…she’s 29 a little older than the vagina I am into, but still good enough to look at…even when not posing naked, something I am sure she does and has done because you don’t become a high paid model for not getting naked…if anything…that’s the only reason she is a model…

Here she is in Esquire Mexico, so I can assume these are old pics, the Mexicans always get the sloppy seconds of the other Magazines, because that’s just how us Mexcicans are treated in life…second rate…thanks to all your racist…

Posted in:Bianca Balti

2013

12

Dec

Kylie Minogue Legs in Her Red Bottoms of the Day

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OH shit…Kylie Minogue, who must be a robot because she still looks good at 75, I mean I remember doing the locomotion in the 80s, and she was running shit then…not to mention she survived cancer with her tits…and now she’s showing off her red bottom shoes like some stripper or fame whore or ghetto club girl on instagram…and I don’t really have a foot fetish, or heel fetish, or expensive shoe fetish, but I do when it involves someone who is not wearing pants…cuz skin pants are my favorite…

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2013

12

Dec

Kaili Thorne’s Naked and Covered in Period of the Day

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My favorite thing about these high concept lesbians hipster artist people is when they think they are being revolutionary when they start using their periods to make art…

You know stapling used tampons to a canvas with a period blood happy face drawn on it….it’s so innovative and meaningful and really gets their feminist message that women’s bodies are a beautiful thing….acrosss

Sure it’s been done before, and doing it now is played out and amateur, but we’ll let them think they are one a mission, because usually it comes with nudity and nudity…is something I like looking at, no matter what the misguided bullshit reason for it is…

Posted in:Kaili Thorne

2013

12

Dec

Theres Alexandersson Catalog Model of the DAy

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People seem to think that Swedish girls have it going on…that they are better than the practical, affordable furniture of Ikea and the safety rating of Volvo…but I think they are lying because Theres Alexandersson all half naked and modelling is just fucking disgusting to look at….EWWWWW put on some clothes and go back to making meatballs you hooker.

Posted in:Theres Alexandersson

2013

12

Dec

Dianna Agron for Galore Magazine of the Day

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Dianna Agron is from CSI NY, Glee and who the fuck cares what else, she’s 27 and a good old American actress, singer, model and dancer who can probably be confused with all the other 27 year old girls who pretend they are 18 thanks to hormones their stage moms fed them to sell them off to the industry…and now she’s doing Galore Magazine in her underwear because I guess it is time to reinvent herself and make a name for herself as a legit star..or maybe, just maybe, I have no idea what I am talking about because I Don’t care and feel like a pornstar who can’t get hard trying to write this post on garbage that doesn’t fucking matter.

Posted in:Dianna Agron

2013

12

Dec

Alyssa Miller is A Boring Catalog Model of the Day

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Alyssa Miller is some girl who Sports Illustrated created thanks to dating the photographer’s son, probably a strategic move, like dating Jake Gyllenhaal, even though Gyllenhaal is gay, because you only live once and you might as well get as much exposure as possible..you know make the fucking moves when the opportunity presents itself, even if it requires using your vagina as collateral because otherwise some other girl is going to do it and get all that could have been yours…Get money, fuck bitches.

Posted in:Alyssa Miller

2013

12

Dec

Billie Faiers Big Titties in a Bikini of the Day

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Billie Faiers has some silly tits…Now you probably don’t know who she is, because I don’t know who she is, and I have this very very very important website that is tapped into this world of girls who paparazzi take pics of…and I still had to google her…because this low level is from the UK and on some show called the TOWIE and she doesn’t matter, but her big silly tits do, at least when they are in a bikini…

She’s 23, has the botox and plastic surgery of a 40 year old mom and her rejuvenated vagina, and she’s in Dubai, probably being sold off to some rich Arab…who likes owning things that don’t look very expensive but probably think they are expensive….because that’s how trash girls like this are…they don’t realize they are garbage.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Billie Faiers