DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

05

Nov

Lindsay Lohan Face of the Day

Lindsay Lohan has been slowly turning herself into a muppet…because I guess when you’ve been raped of your childhood…you sometimes need to Michael Jackson yourself and turn your life into a creepy fucking playground to try to fill that void…and for some reason I like it…because it represents all that is broken in her…not to mention gives her something we can laugh at to help make her more and more insecure about herself…cyberbullying in a way that will one day lead her into an abusive yet loving relationship with me…because despite her face fillers…I think she’s perfect and I want to marry her…at least once…sexually…while not in a herpes outbreak..

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

05

Nov

Kate Upton Cleavage in Australia of the Day

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Kate Upton squeezed her fat belly and awkward shaped ass into a red dress at the Melbourne cup that we can assume has four layers of SPANX under it…which is almost erotic for anyone not bringing her home at the end of the night to see her gut spill out all over the place..when the lights and cameras turn off….which is never erotic for a Bikini model who should be fit as fuck…to teach the people about health and fitness and celebrate a good healthy body to prevent people from eating chips….

The Melbourne cup, for those of you who don’t know, is the horse races, where we can safely assume Kate Upton was to meet her biological mother.

That joke never gets old…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

05

Nov

Emily Scott Nipples in FHM of the Day

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Emily Scott is some random nobody…who has been on some random nobody shows…because that is the random nobody dream…because there is a hope with being a random nobody that the random nobody shows will put the random nobody on the map and make them a random somebody you can’t quite place…leading to great opportunity for money and the good life…but when that random nobody shit fails…they can take it to toplessness..show those random nobody nipples…because that’s all part of random nobodies trying to make noise….because maybe, just maybe someone will notice…and when nipples are involved…they usually do…for at least a minute because she does have tits and I’m into looking at them

Posted in:Emily Scott|NSFW

2013

05

Nov

Amazing Blonde Girl Getting Arrested and Other Videos of the Day

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This seems like a joke…but here’s a chick from Ohio that I assume was shot years ago…is getting arrested for a TV show…making it more likely staged…you know, she’s a hired actor there to make an otherwise boring situation more interesting…and I am glad they did because this girl brings me great joy even if she’s just there for dramatized dramatic effect…

If you don’t like that – here’s an intense guy punching a bear trap…

If you don’t like that – here’s a couple of bucks bucking…

How about a concert fight…

Posted in:Videos

2013

05

Nov

Traci Lords Lives of the Day

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Traci Lords is the kind of pornstar I like…classic…an innovator but more importantly a shit disturber…teen runaway at 15…only to turn to porn…only to announce on her 18th birthday that she wasn’t 18 when she shot all those porns…making her a kiddie porn star…and the people who shot her getting fucked…as the barely legal who was not legal…kiddie pornographers in a time when the industry already got so much heat…that’s like some broken girl punk rock shit that I think leads to an interesting existence…an existence that has brought her to this…even Terry Richardson saw her at….she looks 90, is actually 45, because that’s the porn aging formula…I’m still a fan of all she represents…I want to be her friend…with my mouth.

Here’s a classic porn of hers NSFW

Posted in:Traci Lords

2013

05

Nov

Claire Danes for Interview of the Day

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Claire Danes, who if you are like me, you wrote off back in the 90s when she was the annoying depressive 90s angst who couldn’t get fucked by Jared Leto on My So Called Life…I mean I assume she’s done other things, but I haven’t paid attention to her, because all I can think about is the girls I used to know back then, who I didn’t want to even bang then, because of their plaid, apathetic disposition…it was a horrible time…and this bitch is the figure head…but now at 40 she’s topless in interview…and at least one of you is stoked about that…

Posted in:Claire Danes

2013

05

Nov

Rosie Huntington-Whitely and Emily DiDonato for Juicy Couture of the Day

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Rosie Huntington-Whitely and Emily DiDonato are part of some Juicy Couture campaign I call “Instagram pics”…where they hire a massive model with a massive day rate and probably a massive photographer…also with a massive day rate…along with a crew and location that probably cost a fortune…all to get this fantastic picture that looks like it was shot with an iPhone for instagram…it’s so authentic…I guess worth every penny…pennies they can afford since the brand probably does over 500 million dollars in sales…so why not throw that money into bullshit like this..otherwise the government gets it…right….

Posted in:Rosie Huntington-Whitely

2013

05

Nov

Paris Hilton’s Inspirational Marketing Pitch While Honored in a Russian Mall of the Day

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I don’t know what Russian Billionaire Paris Hilton had sex with, but I am going to assume he owns the Russian Mall that presented her with this star on their walk of fame….and that they probably met on Yachts in Ibizia…or maybe Russia, like during the cold war, is just 10 years behind America and hitting up on our last week’s kitchen garbage, honouring them with bullshit things, and giving them a venue to feel important since they have fallen off at home….or maybe…just maybe…no one else returned this Mall’s call for such a silly thing…because flying the 10-12 hours even for a free Moscow trip…was more of a pain in the ass than anything…but it’s nice to see Paris took the opportunity to pitch her shit to a poor unsuspecting crowd who just want a taste of America…but instead got a taste of a vapid, useless, famewhore brat…who likes to talk about herself…which I guess based on the girls I’ve met…is a taste of America…good times.

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2013

05

Nov

Bieber Getting Hit By a Water Bottle of the Day

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This happened a few days before Bieber fell off and went to a brothel to get AIDS from tranny Brazilian hookers, as people like to do when partaking in some sex tourism…it was in concert when motherfucker got hit by a bottle…a storyline that would be more interesting if it was a bullet, or really any explosive, because a dead Bieber makes for a better and safer world for the youth of tomorrow…not that I care about Bieber, but I do care about seeing him get hurt and running off stage..

Posted in:Bieber

2013

05

Nov

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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Finally convincing the girl you’ve been sexting for the last 8 months into sending you a vagina pic, only to discover that her vagina is actual a penis…is a bit of a bummer.

Here are some stepLINKS…in the morning…

Stupid Miley Selfie of the Day
GO

Kristen Stewart Face…
GO

These Star Wars Vibrators are Nutty
GO

Today in Tramp Stamps!
GO

Raccoon Eating Grapes….
GO

Jamie Alexander Tight Dress
GO

Jordan Carver Big Tits
GO

Actors who are Shorter than You Think….
GO

This Doge Shit is Going Nuts…
GO

These 10 Companies Own Everything…
GO

1000s of Girls…For You…At Any Given Time…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS