DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

05

Aug

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

I crashed a wedding last night. I like free booze, that’s my fucking problem.

I convinced the DJ to play “I love bad bitches that’s my fucking problem”, as if I was an important guest, and he did it…because if you are convincing enough anything can happen….

I don’ think the bride and her Christian family were too into it, because when I dipped out of the situation, and the father and son were threatening the DJ with violence.

I’m an asshole that’s my fucking problem.

Here are some morning links…

Britney Dressed Like a Hooker at Church…Because She Was ONE!!!
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Claudia Romani’s Ass in a Bikini
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Big Fucking Titties…So Many Big Fucking Titties
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A Pug Gets Emotional over Homeward Bound
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15 Anime Babes You Would Make Love To
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Cats Demanding Attention
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30 Things You Didn’t Know About the O.C
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A Girl Does Some Sexy Crunches
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Amber Heard in Flare
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A Whole Lot of Naked Girls Going On….
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

02

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

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After seeing the Lindsay Lohan nude in The Canyon pics and videos, I had to take the rest of the day off from doing nothing, as I normally do, to stare at them…for a solid hour or so…I needed a break….so I decided to stand outside a public pool and give hot girls in bikinis some advice on how to pose in better for people on the other side of the chainlink fence lookin…my expertise wasn’t taken seriously and I was asked to leave…even though it’s what I do all day on the internet. I get no respect…

It’s the summer, it’s the weekend, it’s the stepLINKS…yay.

Girls Who Aren’t Wearing Bras
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Sylvie Van Der Vaar in a Bikini
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A Couple Awesome Bitches
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The Husky Who Holds Hands During Car Rides
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Avatar Gets Three Sequels
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Some Model Named Natalia Siwiec in Lingerie…
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Janice is a Trashy Looking Titty Model from the 90s
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DSFCams is the FUture of Cam Girls
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This Dog is Pumped for Dinner
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The 50 Hottest Chicks in Prison
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Britney Spears Showing Off Her Bigger Better Tits
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This Outta Make You Jerk Off!!
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Hotties in YOGA Pants
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Check out this freak modeling for Terry Richardson
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The Military is Not Selling Porn on Base ANymore
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I Want to Bang these Greek Girls in Bikinis
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Bear Takes Out the Trash
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A Mariah Carey Blooper Reel…
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Kate Hudson in a Sports Bra
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Hot Model Named Staci Silverstone Eating Ice Cream Ass Out
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Dropping Things from 4 Stories in Slow Motion
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Ellen is Hosting the Oscars
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Insane Crowded Pool in CHina
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Busty Fucking Pin-Up Model in a Bikini
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Reporter Mooded During a Live Newscast
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Chris Rock Gave a Dying Kid Porn
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Beyonce in a Tight Outfit
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Maria Kouka Rockin’ Tits
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Stacey Cooke Caught Topless Sunbathing
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Sharon Stone Bikini Ass Crack
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Excited Driver Spots a Moose
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International Beer Babes for International Beer Day
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Wii U Suprise
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Leilani Dowding Braless
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Dude Hangs Himself at a Race
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Facts That Will Horrify You
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Jack White’s Wife Got a Retraining Order Against Him
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Bikini Babes
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Lea Michele Talks Cory Monteith Pre Death…
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A lot of hot as fuck girls getting naked.
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From stepSMUT!! NSFW!
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Hot Amateur Beach Sex
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Ridiculous Arab Tits
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THe Hottest Girls in Porn
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Girl in a Full Body Cast…Staring in Full Body Cast Fetish Pics
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Nasty Girl Masturbating
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Nice Fake Tan Masturbating
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Hot Babe in Front of Mirror and Shower
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Weirdest Colored Nipples
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Shit on a pRegnant Belly – My Favorite
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FREE NAKED GIRLS
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I Like Fucking Bitches with Sex Toys…..
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I AM ADDICTED TO Phone Sex!!
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If You Hate Your Thinning Hair…Check This Out….
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This Is the Hottest Most Erotic – Best Looking Girl Porn
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

02

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Naked in The Canyons of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan is a fucking star.

I don’t care how hard she falls off, she will always be Lindsay Lohan, and in being Lindsay Lohan, she’s got rockin’ amazing tits…

She’s also got a well oiled machine…literally…where everything is strategically leaked and released and planned in efforts to have the biggest impact and the good news is that this time around on her comeback tour, she’s more naked that usual…You know less about the flashing her pussy at clubs, and more about being naked in movies.

I am sure she wants to be working, and winning Oscars, and taken seriously, and not in the media as some tabloid joke…so this is how it’s done, or at least attempted to be done.

The sex is shitty, but believable, I mean just cuz she fucked a lot doesn’t mean she fucked well.

The movie looks like a pile of shit, but I’ll probably see it. It’s my duty as he number one fan who believes in her awesome natural looking implants….even though part of me hates her for abandoning our friendship…

She didn’t book Lovelace people, but she can still get naked in movies people. She’s Lohan, anything is possible….somewhere out there there is a man with a camera willing to shoot her naked…like this guy right here.

I’d say fuck The Canyons and their leaking lohan nudes for attention, you know a little marketing, but I love me some Lohan….

Ultimately, she’s got the best tits in the game, and no matter how hard she’s fallen off, they will always matter, they will always be there to carry here, or act as a life vest when drowning, both figuratively and literally…and purchased or not, they are glorious.

Lohan, if you’re out there, I may have to start stalking you again…I don’t even mind her dead eyes and porn quality face surgery, if anything, I really like it.

Here are the clips…apparently they are pretty gay.

Here’s the trailer if you care to learn more about this movie, even after seeing the good parts.

If you are looking for a Lindsay Lohan Experience, take my man Foetus La Plantain’s 4 step plan to experience Lohan without Lohan’s involvement.

1- make an old roast beef sandwich and heat it up in the microwave until its all dry and leathery
2- add cottage cheese to it for texture,
3- fuck the sandwich with my eyes closed while licking a dirty ashtray
4- listen to patty and selma from the simpsons.

its like you really there…..

Share your Lohan experiences with us in the comments…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|NSFW

2013

02

Aug

Some stepGIRLS Lookin’ Hot in T-Shirts of the Day

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For those of you who follow DrunkenStepfatherDotCom on instagram, you will know that there’s a little army of hot as fuck stepGIRLS forming.

Our genius friend Gordon Holden sent us a bunch of amazing shirts from his amazing collection. Some that even I wear…and I don’t generally wear clothes…unless they are soiled and stained with mustard, sweat and semen, you know otherwise it gets in the way of being a creep.

So we did the natural thing…what anyone would do.. and got a couple of our stepGIRLS posing hot in them….for photographer he loves controversy…Here are the pics…try not to masturbate…I dare you.

To get some of these awesome shirts CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepGIRLS

2013

02

Aug

Jennifer Aniston Either Ate or is Pregnant of the Day

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Jennifer Aniston looks old and ugly, probably because she is, or maybe that’s just her pregnancy “glow”, you know that look pregnant chicks get that guys are willing to fuck because they know they can’t get them pregnant, and they get off knowing a bitch is such a slut that despite being pregnant with some other dudes kid, she’s fucking you….and that other girls envy, for fear of being forever alone, and jealous that this bitch achieved what all girls strive to achieve before it is too late and their bodies turn it off, even after it is too late, like they were Jennifer Aniston, defying nature or some shit, that I am sure cost a lot at the fertility clinic…

Ultimately, who really cares if she just ate, or if she’s pregnant, or if she’s a freak lab experiment, she’s Jennifer Aniston and ultimately, she doesn’t fucking matter..even though she really fucking thinks she does.

Remember, she looks like shit and this is what she wants you talking about, she’s promoting a new movie motherfuckers…she needs her name in the media…this is a good way to do it.

To see the rest of the pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston

2013

02

Aug

Megan Fox is Pregnant Again of the Day

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Megan Fox has decided to continue her family planning with her high school TV crush she finally landed when she moved to LA, who I guess she sold her soul to in exchange for a career when so many equally hot and more talented girls were getting the gigs she wanted, because why else would she be so committed to such a joke, even if he had a huge cock, he’s still some 90210 has-been…which I guess works out nicely now, cuz she’s a has been too…a has been who may not get work, but who can still get pregnant, but more importantly, who can still do duck face, even with all that botox and fillers she’s rockin’…

She’s the worst, her second pregnancy comes from a place I call not getting work after her first pregnancy, that she might as well just commit to being a parent, she’s got enough money to retire, her 20s paid her well, and now it is over for her and her vagina, even though I always thought it was over for her the first time David from 90210 penetrated her and brainwashed her…with his dick.

She’s a weak person, who never went nude, but will, now that it’s too late…but at least her legacy will live on from such great movies as….I don’t even know what she’s been in…who cares…she’s pregnant and I hate pregnant chicks…

Posted in:Megan Fox

2013

02

Aug

Kate Bosworth for Instyle UK September of the Day

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You wanna know what I like? Kate Bosworth, cuz she’s some hot old enough to be a mom, who doesn’t look like a mom because she probably hasn’t had a kid yet, but she has probably had at least one abortion.

You know an actor, from whipped cream bikini fame, turned nobody, turned model, all tall and lean, who even in her old age is looking amazing…who unlike most 39 year olds, hasn’t let her looks go to shit,even if her vagina has…because as long as their clothed, no one needs to see the damage done from baby making or at least trying to baby make, like with Kate Bosworth, I’m sure she’s had so much cum in her that if we were to fill a bath tub with it… it’d be disgusting, but when she’s showing off her thin legs, in pictures none of that matters…In fact I am kinda into it.

Posted in:Kate Bosworth

2013

02

Aug

Magdalena Frackowiak for Hogan of the Day

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I have a crush on this model. Her name is Magdalena Frackowiak , and she’s got a pretty fucking legendary body. She’s one of the vaginas that the evil people at Victoria’s Secret are dabbling with to see if they will use her as part of their first string team, you know she’s young now, and they need to put her the ringer to see if she’s up to their standards of selling her fucking soul to them, or more importantly, that she’s got marketability that will make making her famous worth their time.

I prefer when SHE POSES NUDE

But this awesome booty shot for some company works for me, I’m easy to please like that.

Posted in:Magdalena Frackowiak

2013

02

Aug

Isabella Lindblom Hot Nude Pics of the Day

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This Isabella Lindblom bitch has been modeling for a long fucking time, like so many hundreds or thousands of decent looking girls who are 5 foot 7 or taller, who think they have some sort of edge that the fashion industry will pick up on, as they do low level shoots for free for anyone willing to take a pic of them, in hopes of it opening some doors, you know build that portfolio to a place where people will actually pay them, so they can live the good glam life of getting paid millions to pose in shitty sweatshop made clothes…you know livin’ the fucking dream cuz they are tall and skinny and can…

Well, I guess she’s still not household, so she’s still out there showing her nipple hoping to get noticed, and being the good guy I am, I figure I’d notice, cuz nipples are fun…especially when they come with such desperation.

Posted in:Isabella Lindblom|NSFW

2013

02

Aug

Alessandra Ambrosio’s in a Bikini Like It’s her Job of the Day

1 Comment »

The best thing about a model, especially a bikini model, in a bikini, is that she does it so well, I mean that’s why she gets paid all that money to do it…

The worst thing about a model, especially a bikini model, in a bikini, is that she’s on the beach with her kids, reminding me that under those bikini bottoms she’s wearing for free, is a ravaged mom vagina, that isn’t all that tight…cuz no kegels can really restore a vagina to it’s original form despite what moms will tell you, as no girls, not even those who bang black cocks, ever want to admit their junk is stretched out like a animal pelt being turned into a pair of fine italian shoes…

I don’t know what that means, but it made sense at the time I wrote it. What I do know is that this is the bikini model equivalent a dentist doing free dental work for homeless people, or some doctors doing doctors without border, or some lawyer helping out some ghetto mom on welfare for free…you know some community, pro-boner shit, only the bikini model’s more about the pro-boner than about actually helping anyone with her “life work” of standing around lookin’ pretty…a contribution to society, one could argue is not quite a contribution.

To see the rest of the pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio