DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

19

Jun

RIP MOTHERFUCKER – The James Gandolfini / Tony Soprano Edition of the Day

James Gandolfini /Tony Soprano – Is Dead….

Nothing celebrates the life of an actor who died of what is assumed to be a heart attack caused by living the good fat life, whether it is from food, or booze, or cocaine, or a slow metabolism, or a combination of those things…like watching him get a lap dance from Kristen Stewart.

I guess this puts to rest as to whether they will ever do a Sopranos movie, unless it is my Parody Porn, I call The Sopr-ANALS…because James Gandolfini, an actor I actually liked watching in his non-Soprano roles, decided to not look after himself and die…at 51.

Maybe it’s an excuse for CNN to distract America with special coverage ignoring the actual news…but maybe it should remind us to get off our asses and walk…gluttony kills….even if it’s fun in the process…just don’t tell my wife, I’m banking on her goin’ the same damn way, ideally sooner than later..

Here’s another clip…of James Gandolfini and Kristen Stewart from WELCOME TO THE RILEYS

The real tragedy in the Tony Soprano death is that he didn’t use any of his fortune to hire a personal chef and a personal trainer to not die of a heart attack thanks to being obese. Seriously. Whether you liked the guy or not, he killed himself, and we don’t like suicide here at DrunkenStepfather.

We do however like boobies…and career suicide cuz those are fun, so let’s focus on real issues.

Posted in:James Gandolfini

2013

19

Jun

Miley Cyrus New Video of the Day

2 Comments »

Hands in the air like we don’t care…Riveting lyrics…

I guess that’s what you should expect from a high school drop out who sings generic crap to rape the minds of the youth, you know dumb them the fuck down and prevent them from having any original thought as the government reads all their emails and texts…cuz the government likes sexting as much as I do..

All this to say, hot video, sure being a hipster with taped up nipples, doing crackhead shit, with stuffed animals and dolls has officially died…along with my penis as Miley Twerks…it’s that good.

But the fact is that nothing is underground anymore, thanks to Urban Outfitters, American Apparel, Springbreakers and the internet raping the drugged out rich kid who doesn’t give a fuck but gives a fuck culture…

I mean she’s pulling at her panties, grabbing ass, wearing hipster clothes, it’s like a bad ad for hipster brands, it’s like spring breakers…but hotter..because I have a boner for MILEY and her new hustle…even if it is fabricated and nonsense…that stems from some creative directors trying to be cool and speak tot he new generation…and not some rich puppet in her mansion…

For nostalgia – Here she is old Miley singing wholesome and inspiring garbage that has brought her to where she is today…

But I’m more into the new Miley, the one that makes me want to fuck…

Here’s to bringing back music videos we can jerk off to like it was an era pre-internet…YAY.

Here’s a pic of her cuz I love her..

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

19

Jun

Helen Flanagan Titty Flash of the Day

1 Comment »

Show NSFW Content

Helen Flanagan, Soap Opera Star turned Glamour model, because her daddy issues were just that fucking intense, is pulling her tit out of a bathing suit, and I don’t know when this picture was taken, I just know it happened, and I support her insane career move, to basically throw away a career, in efforts to celebrate her tits in pics…I mean a totally illogical move, like a lawyer babe deciding to work the bikini car wash, but a move I’m willing to support, because it leads to great things, like sex tapes…you know thanks to already being comfortable in front of the camera..

This Helen Flanagan has a lot of potential…at least based on this picture of her…..

I think all girls should pull their tits out in protest…on their social media…so I can masturbate to them…I think I am going to try to start that movement…and while I do that…stare at this tit..

Posted in:Helen Flanagan|NSFW

2013

19

Jun

Maria Menounos Bikini Ass of the Day

2 Comments »

Maria Menounos posted an ass shot to the internet, because she appreciates how much attention her booty gets, you know she knows a low level TV presenter on some ghetto ass show no one should watch, but people do watch, doesn’t deserve to be celebrated…even after showing the world her vagina sticking its tongue out at us on the beach intentionally…a vagina that is actually her secondary orifice behind her asshole…you know being greek and all they have a system in place people and we can’t culturally change them…we can just look at what they like to have fucked…in bikinis….being celebrated and showcased by them…because why the fuck not take all the attention your ass can get…literally…

Posted in:Maria Menounos

2013

19

Jun

Is This Taylor Swift’s Nipple of the Day

No Comments »

Is this Taylor Swift’s Nipple…this GIF was just sent to me from a faithful creep on FACEBOOK we call FOETUS….and I just can’t tell whether I can actually see what I want to see or if my mind is just playing tricks on me because I have a thing for really reach popstars who have made a career exposing dudes they fuck that they pretend they date cuz it is accessible to any girl who has ever been in love…leading to her doing all kinds of market research with her pussy in efforts to get more and more experience to sing about cuz that shit pays the fucking bills and makes the fucking empire an empire…

It’s like we’ve all turned this wholesome chick into a slut who sleeps around, and who is now sexing herself up as a woman, instead of an awkward team, all from buying her music…and now out of fear of losing her magic basic as fuck lyrics, she fucks and fucks and fucks…to get inspired…and there’s something amazing about that…

I am a fan.

Posted in:Taylor Swift

2013

19

Jun

Elsa Hosk is Hot for Elle Sweden of the Day

No Comments »

Elsa Hosk is fucking Amazing…She’s a Swedish model who has done shit for Victoria’s Secret and who makes me want to go to IKEA and try to convince their staff to let me jerk off on their shitty quality furniture while eating their meat balls after getting caught jerking off on their shitty quality furniture while eating their meat balls…just to get closer to her cultural roots…even though unlike IKEA, this body is built to last…

I don’t know what I am talking about, I know nothing about IKEA and more importantly, I have better things to do than write about some model I want to piece together with my semen….you know like her off to some model I want to piece together with my semen…

Posted in:Elsa Hosk

2013

19

Jun

Celeste Bonin aka Kaitlyn Nip Slip on WWE Raw of the Day

1 Comment »

Show NSFW Content

I don’t watch wrestling, I don’t understand why people watch wrestling, so I don’t know if this Celeste Bonin who is also known as Kaitlyn from wrestling chick having a tit slip is from Monday’s night Raw, or if it is older, I just know I am posting it because I like tits, even on butch chicks thrown into the mix to make an otherwise homoerotic show, less homoerotic, so middle AMerica, the only people watching the shit, can jerk off to it without doubting their Christian foundation….and sexuality…

I mean, I guess if you really think about it, a fit bitch, built like a tank, could be a lot of fun to get beat the fuck up by, I mean, I’d probably ride a boner through the whole thing, even if I don’t find her hot in anyway…I’d just be into it for the experience…

Here’s her tit slip…

Posted in:Celeste Bonin|NSFW

2013

19

Jun

Rihanna Attacks Her Fans of the Day

1 Comment »

Rihanna has lost her fucking mind…she’s lashing out at her fans…angry and trying to attack them even though they paid money to see her…like she was some kind of dancing monkey or circus elephant…

I guess this is just an example of an angry person who has been beat the fuck up showing the world that anger and aggression the only way she knows how…through violence…

I think it just goes to show us, that maybe all the rumors that she was the one who beat herself up in the car and blamed in on Chris Brown in exchange for a percentage of album sales, are in fact true…and that the real aggressor is this gutter bitch who is now rich…but still gutter as fuck…

Posted in:Rihanna

2013

19

Jun

Courtney Stodden’s New Implants of the Day

3 Comments »

Courtney Stodden got new tits…because Courtney Stodden likes scandal….because Courtney Stodden only exists because of scandal…even though 90 percent of the general public don’t know she exists…but they will, because I am pretty fucking sure these implants aren’t just for attention, they are probably for props for her sex tape that hasn’t been announced yet, but I am sure is in the works, because that’s the kind of girl she is, and I think it’s nice to see a stripper make it in the world in a bigger way than pulling lap dances for 10 dollars a song while getting titties grabbed to pay for the tits…this bitch already has her titties paid for…and I’m looking forward to masturbating to her getting fucked…I’ll make sure it is full of hate, sadness, and anger…before realizing how awesome this new generation of pornstar who skipped being a pornstar is.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Courtney Stodden

2013

19

Jun

Mariah Carey Bikini for the Internet of the Day

No Comments »

Mariah Carey did this photoshoot in her bikini that she posted to the internet because no one told her that she’s 100 fucking years old.

The good news is that the end result looks like some cheesy fucking shoot that took place back on a Miami spring break party in the 90s, or for the high school yearbook shit, with masterful graphic design shit, you know when she wasn’t 100 fucking years old…almost tricking me into thinking it was taken back when she mattered…before a bunch of kids…

Posted in:Mariah Carey