DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

14

Mar

Miley Cyrus Showing Some Tit for French Montana of the Day

Miley Cyrus is my new Lohan…..

For those of you who don’t know this site and who never visited the site….

I used to do this thing in the 2007-2008 called the Lohan Stalker posts…where I got my hand on Lohan’s number and I’d call her while drunk, often times leaving creepy voice mails about being connected at the soul, figuring it’d get me in the news when they finally arrested me….but they never did…instead Lohan became my text buddy and we ended up spending a night together in her hotel room…not having sex….

But she’s fallen off, she barely exists, she’s no fun to tease or play with and it’s time to move onto something new and more exciting….and I think Miley Cyrus…in her sheltered insanity is the only option….She’s a babe…and I can easily pretend we are soul mates…I just need her phone number to really make this work the way it is supposed to…and while I wait for it to be sent to me…here are some pics of her with rapper French Montana…from his instagram…showing a nice percentage of her tits….

I’m in love…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

14

Mar

Beetle Juice Knocked Jake Gyllenhaal Out of the Day

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So the freak from Howard Stern Beetle Juice was getting interviewed by TMZ paparazzi where he apparently said he knocked Jake Gyllenhaal out….I guess on set of Bubble Boy ….I can’t be too sure because I don’t understand anything that he’s saying, other than that Jake Gyllenhaal is a prick…or gay….and I have to agree…

Some of you don’t know this, but Gyllenhaal is the only celebrity I almost had a physical altercation with when he was filming in Montreal Canada. He was dancing like a princesss in a restaurant with some groupies….and I walked up to him and asked if he killed Heath Ledger or something to that effect…I was drunk…and dude went nuts, got in my face, security pulled me away before it was actually a fight and he ended up pushing the girl I was with….aggressively…like a mental case….

It was a story that got on all the mainstream media. His legal team and the team at Disney came at me to change my story on the site….to which I said “I’ll just post the video instead”…and that was the end of the Jake Gyllenhaal story….

But after that experience, I agree that he’s a prick, likely gay, craves attention like a girl..while dancing like a girl, and is probably 140 lbs and as intimidating as a girl….and I know there’s no doubt that Beetle Juice could knock him out…probably with one bitch slap….and that’s the end of this post.

Post sent in by my friend Foetus La Plantain- the Drunken stepFORUM Member of the Month – and religious TMZ reader.

Posted in:Jake Gyllenhaal

2013

14

Mar

Zippora Seven in a Topless Photoshoot of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Zippora Seven is not that famous of a model, but she is from New Zealand and I can assume that having more than 10 people knowing who you are makes you the most famous person in New Zealand….but I could be wrong….

The people who do know who she is, know that she’s famous for modeling nude when she was 16 which is illegal but not illegal enough to get the magazine publisher arrested for kiddie porn, but illegal enough to start scandal….because it’s fashion and art people, and fashion and art makes it ok….at least that was their loop hole….

But starting at 16 makes her a child prodigy in nude modeling…and ike all prodigies…she’s excelled at it…and kept the talent going…I mean it put her in the map…so why change something that works….you know really show the world her nude modeling expertise….

Here are her top 4 Topless shoots….

4- SOME UNKNOWN YET AMAZING NUDE SHOOT

3- NAKED FOR DEREK HENDERSON

2- NAKED FOR RUSSH MAGAZINE

1- NAKED FOR L’OFFICIEL UKRAINE

Here she is continuing with those titties in this unknown shoot…and she’s amazing…

Posted in:NSFW|Zippora Seven

2013

14

Mar

Bar Refaeli Instagram Gym Pic of the Day

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Bar Refaeli is pretty thick…so looking at her workout is definitely not as awesome as looking at CANDICE SWANEPOEL working out….but I’ll take it…because I love it when girls work on fitness, and themselves, to make them healthier, happier, and more attractive. I like hard bodies, but more importantly, I love seeing their sweaty asses squat…almost enough to join a gym to stare…something I have done in the past…and as it turns out….even the fatties trying to get fit are hot to watch in action…I guess there’s just something about gym clothes…or sweaty assholes….or girls grunting and lifting….or maybe it is just the germs all over the machinery that makes me wanna fuck….cuz it reminds me of everytime I fuck…who knows…what matters is that it’s good…

Posted in:Bar Refaeli

2013

14

Mar

Elsa Hosk is Fun of the Day

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Elsa Hosk is some relatively new Victoria’s Secret blood…that was either produced in their lab, or recruited from some third world country, and/or Sweden….where no one will do any real background research to see if she’s a real person….or if she’s just fantasy created by the billion dollar empire…but real or real doll…she’s lovely….from yesterday’s Victoria’s Secret party….

Here she is at the Victoria’s Secret Spring Break Party with some Boxing Gloves on…

To being on a boat…lookin amazing…..

To pics of her on Twitter in a bikini

I am in love….

Posted in:Elsa Hosk

2013

14

Mar

Kimberly Garner Bikini Babe of the Day

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Kimberly Garner is miracle, because despite being from the UK, she’s not a fucking grey skinned, working class gremlin you can’t feed after midnight…..like most of the women from the UK…I mean other than the busty, trashcan Glamour models…who I guess are the “sex appeal” the UK has to offer….but instead, she’s got a cute little beach body…that is being used for some campaign in barbados…while rockin’ a cameltoe cuz I guess that vagina is hungry and ready to eat up anything that comes its way…as long as it offers her a ladder wrung to climb…

She posted the pic to twitter….and I approve.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FROM HER BIKINI SHOOT
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Kimberly Garner

2013

14

Mar

Karlie Kloss Instagram Bikini of the Day

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Karlie Kloss is a bikini model…despite not having huge tits…and being amazingly skinny….just not skinny as this babe…but skinny enough for my liking…because skinny is a dying art form…thanks to all the shit in our food and all the shit food…hormones have gone nuts…and girls have gone curvy…and as much as I like big tits to play with and/or cum on…I am just far happier cumming on a thin frame…the way girls are supposed to be….

Fat is disgusting…and I know this first hand…as my wife is a diabetic I’m just waiting to have die off from her self destruction….so that I can go out and chase girls who look more like this…

Posted in:Karlie Kloss

2013

14

Mar

Helen Flanagan for Instagram of the Day

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Last week…..at least I think it was last week…I posted the video that goes along with these pics….of Helen Flanagan doing some sexy Jockey viral video shit for a betting site….well Helen Flanagan has gone on to post some of the pics from the shoot….that focus on what’s important about her craft…and that is her boobs…

The interesting thing about this busty UK starlet, is that she only exists because she was on a Soap Opera…something all the Glamour models wish they would land….but instead of riding out a cushy career on TV…she quit and decided to become a Glamour model…because I guess her dad didn’t hug her enough growing up…and her tits…her tits just wanted to be celebrated more than they were on TV…

Her whole career path is insane, but not as insane as the fact that I am writing about it….

Posted in:Helen Flanagan

2013

14

Mar

Martha Hunt for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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Martha….is one of the least attractive names the English language has to offer…I am sure there are worse…but just saying it makes me feel like I am simulating throwing up on myself while drunk with a mouth full of dog shit…..I am also sure there are worse names in other languages and cultures…but when you put it on a thin, tall, half naked blonde chick who the Victoria’s Secret monsters have got their hands on first…it suddenly sounds like angels singing from heaven….it’s like jerking off to phone sex girl with a nice voice pretending she’s not actually 400 lbs and eating donuts while pretending to finger herself..and that the sounds of a lubricated pussy is in fact a lubricated pussy and not her just slapping her greasy belly button….you know Martha…when it looks like this…is the prettiest name around…

Posted in:Martha Hunt

2013

14

Mar

Mario Chalmers Calls Out Groupies of the Day

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This is a pretty funny story that almost reminds me of how I deal with all my fans…except that I don’t have fans…and if I do they are likely too busy murdering small animals in the field outside their trailer park for both dinner and their taxidermy hobby….

But Miami Heat champion Mario Chalmers got called out on twitter by some groupie hookers….and he responded to those groupies and it made me laugh….

Now I don’t cover sports, but I do like to laugh at fame whores, you know the gold diggers that want that life so bad…as much as I laugh at famous whores…and this made me laugh…if only all groupie trash was called out….it’d make the world a better place….

Posted in:Marlo Chlamers