DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

06

Mar

How About Some Shailene Woodley Spiderman Nerd Shit for the Virgins of the Day

Shailene Woodley, the new Mary Jane…because Kirsten Dunst is better suited to play a drunk 40 year old meth addict…because she is a drunk 40 year old meth addict…..is on set….walking to the diner where her character works….while filming the Amazing Spider-man 2 in New York….and that shit must make you virgin loser fan boy comic book weirdos go fucking nuts…like you must have climaxed all over your pants before you made it to the bathroom to whack off…cuz you mom hates when you do that in the living room while bushing her hair…you fucking weirdo….cuz all things comic books fuck with your orgasm threshold…you weirdo..

Shailene Woodley is not all that hot…but she is 21, so by default she’s a babe….

She’s from a show called The Secret Life of an American Teenager….which happens to be the ONLY show on TV that has given me a shout out in the last 5 years….I mean other than the occasional stolen joke….

Here are a few things I could find of her….to kinda hype her up a little and give you something a little better to jerk off to than her walkin around set….you fucking weirdos…I am just trying to make you feel a little more normal….

Here she is in a bikini for The Decendents (the movie not the band)

Here she is in some magazine shot by Drew Barrymore….missin’ the mark….but pics none the less….

Posted in:Shailene Woodley|Spiderman 2

2013

06

Mar

Behind the Scenes with the Springbreakers of the Day

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Vice met up with Harmony Korine, because Vice is New York cool…especially in the time when Harmony Korine was coming up in New York and really at his peak… so it is only fitting that they would sit down with him and go through some of his behind the scenes shit….cuz they have access and they are all friends…doing cool shit together…..and it’s a pretty interesting take from the perspective of the Director…talking about how Selena Gomez doesn’t like getting hump danced up against….and other shit you can watch on mute if you’re more interested in the bikini footage….the lots of bikini footage, and as a fan of Harmony Korine and his earlier smut…I can assume this will be the good or at least his biggest mainstream success that I will see….

Posted in:Springbreakers

2013

06

Mar

Jessica Alba’s Panty Flash of the Day

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I don’t know what is more offensive…the fact that she’s hanging with an Asian….dressed like an Asian…in what seems like she’s mockin’ and Asian….like a fat rich American Tourist in Japan dressed like a Gesiha girl….screaming at the locals for sushi….you know just inappropriate and not sensitive to other culture…..or the fact that she’s wearing underwear….

I remember a time when people would have died for this….but now that she’s a mom of two…it is suddenly far less interesting….in fact we kinda encourage her to keep the tights and panties on…because we don’t really want her mom pussy to throw off our impression of her…

But I really wanna see it….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2013

06

Mar

Candice Swanepoel’s Instagram Upsets Me of the Day

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I mean this is just asshole behavior on Candice Swanepoel’s part…she’s covering up the goods on both her and a massive picture of herself that I assume she carries around with herself everywhere she goes…cuz models are paid to look good and in that are really self conscious cunts about the whole thing….often times vain when they look at their bank accounts and when the photographers constantly give them attention while shooting them….for the fans to give them attention too…

It’s like come on girl…how many Candice Swanepoel nipples can be covered up in one single picture before I hate you….

Apparently 2 on the low end, 4 on the high end…..

But I can’t actually hate you, that would get in the way of my loving you….

Here are some of her instagram pics…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

06

Mar

Miley Cyrus in a Tight Shirt Photoshoot of the Day

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The fail in this photoshoot is simple…they focused in on Miley’s face…which is really not what anyone really cares about when it comes to Miley Cyrus….it is boyish, not overly sexy or even pretty….but rather just there….an attachment or accessory to her tight little fit body that she maintains through yoga, starvation and most importantly….hormone therapy thanks to the team at Disney keeping her young a vibrant until she breaks free from their trap and takes up actual hard drugs….cuz Disney and their promises of fame….their creepy execs who like kids a little too much and their “Kool Aid”….is the gateway drug to falling the fuck apart….and eventually destroying your life/family/self….but before all that happens…there is the window Miley is in that is hot….and the photographer behind this one shoulda focused the camera a little be more on her ass….but I’ll still look at her in her prison striped shirt…cuz it is so representative of her existence…imprisoned in the life of a famous girl….imprisoned in her mansion…imprisoned by her fans and the leeches who make money of her’expectations….it is all very sexy…..

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

06

Mar

Kimberly Garner Gives Us a Glimpse Into her Soul of the Day

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The ever important….Kimberly Garner….who I have never heard of and I assume you haven’t heard of either….has flashed….probably because it is the only thing that gets her picked up in the media….but also because her vagina is her lifeline and the only reason she even gets pictures taken of her for the opportunity to flash her panties….to get into the media….because I know for fact based on my opinion of these trash can women on TV….is that her Inner thighs, in all their fuzzy glory, are the gateway to her soul….a soul that she can thank for whatever successes she has….and by soul I mean her lady parts….now if only she slid those panties to the side a bit…I mean then we’d have a fucking picture….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Kimberly Garner

2013

06

Mar

Katia Ivanova for Page 360 is Today’s Glamour Model of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Katia Ivanova is Today’s Glamour model of the day….and not because she’s hot….not that any Glamour models are really hot…in fact they are all so flawed…whether short and dumpy to justify those big tits…or bad faced…like a stripper who you don’t really care sucks as long as she’s showing some titty…..that’ why they are called Glamour models and not actual models….not that they care…they are making money and getting famous with their tits….

Katia Ivanova is Today’s Glamour model of the day…because she married a Rolling stone in his late 60s to get famous..before her beat her up for being the opportunist cunt trying to get ahead via his flacid, need of viagra dick…..and that’s some groupie shit I find funny….

So she’s not hot, her ass sucks, her legs suck, her tits are alright, she’s got a funny story and probably a few STDS….and that is good enough for me…but in my defense…I’d fuck anything…

Posted in:Katia Ivanova|NSFW

2013

06

Mar

Claudia Romani in Her Bikini of the Day

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Claudia Romani is proof the paparzzi are bored as fuck.

She’s some 30 year old trash with a hot body from Italy…who hasn’t done much but get a few gigs modeling in Europe….enough to afford moving to Miami to live the American dream…

She won some VH1 best bikini body of 2012 contest….which I assume means absolutely nothing to anyone but her….and has since been in her bikini every fucking day…something I endorse…but do not understand why sites are keeping track of her….

Her face is average at best…and shit, being FHM and Maxim in Italy 5 years ago is hardly enough reason to be followed around…she must be sleeping with the paparazzi for exposure….in “Please submit my pics to the blogs, I need attention” kind of way….

Cuz I keep seeing her everywhere….yet she’s a nobody…

I mean I follow way hotter miami chicks on Instagram who are always in their bikinis…maybe they paparazzi should start following them and turning them into pseudo celebs…famous for nothing….getting them perks like cutting the line at the club….

Who cares…….

That said…her ass is awesome….click the link to see it….in all its bikini glory….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Claudia Romani

2013

06

Mar

Hey Rihanna Let me Smell your Fingers of the Day

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Rihanna is a fucking dirtbag and I love it…I guess when you’re life is on display and you lose all privacy, you might as well throw any attempt at it out the window…and prance around in your thong showing off your new custom 1000 dollar boots you got for free….you know for everyone to not get distracted by the craftmanship of said boots by things like pants or full bottomed underwear…..or when on a private jet…why not shove your hand down your pants into the depths of hell that is your vagina and take a pic for instagram….next stop in her fall into crazy will be pics of her “turtling” or “Groundhogging” shit when too lazy to go to the bathroom….just put it all out there…you sold your soul for this fame…now bask in it you twat….you twat I’d love to smell on your fingers…

I am a fan of her bad decision making. It will be fun to watch it implode.

Posted in:Rihanna

2013

06

Mar

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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So some black guy emailed me the other day freaking out and calling me a racist because I called some fat actress out for being fat and that the only people who would fuck her are black guys cuz black guys like fat white girls….I wrote the post years ago…..

Meaning….that black guy who emailed me the other day feaking out and calling me a racist for saying black guys like fat white gilrs…was googling this fat white girl to probably jerk off to….

Proving that….some stereotypes I make fun of are truths….

Here are some morning links…..

This is the Best Way to Learn About Space…More Importantly the Star Moon….
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

Courtney Stodden Walking Around In Her Bra – Isn’t the Worst Thing in the World…Even if She is The Worst Thing in the World…
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

Claudia Romani Has a Bad Face But a Rockin’ Ass
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

Awkward But Awesome Sports Posters!
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

Humpback Whale Humps a Canoe
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

Xenia Deli Is My Kind of Half Naked Sandwich Meat
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

These Cats are Jerks….
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

Humans Yelling Like Goats Yelling Like Humans
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

Girl Plays With Vibrator Til She Squirts – NSFW
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

Today in Russian Videos
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

A Whole Bunch of Lara Croft Cosplay Girls
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

You Would Have Sex with Jennifer Lawrence Miss Dior Campaign
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

Drake Made it Rain in a Stripclub – Here are the Pics
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

I Like Watching Amateur Girls on Webcam for Free
FOLLOW THIS HERE LICK SIR

Posted in:stepLINKS