DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

18

Feb

Joanna Krupa for Esquire’s Me in my Place of the Day

Joanna Krupa is some hot bodied gutter bullshit from the early 2000s who has been trying so hard to make it since the early 2000s because I guess she knew she was some hot bodied bullshit then…and watching her struggle was entertaining…she did every low budget photoshoot in fucking town…just hoping to get a fan base with those implants she spent 3 summers washing cars to get….before becoming internationally famous on Dancing with the Stars when she wasn’t even a star, which led to Real Housewives of Miami….you know just sucking from the bottom….and it finally paid off, even most people would find her career a joke, she feels like she’s finally made it…and at a good time cuz she must be 40 by now….

So here she is being an hooker/stripper/pornstar who never was for Esquire…what a waste….but at least she looks good….

Posted in:Joanna Krupa

2013

18

Feb

Olga Maliouk for Blush Lingerie of the Day

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I have never heard of Blush Lingerie, but in my defense I don’t really give a fuck about lingerie brand names, I am just more into staring at the girls wearing it, and even if that lingerie is some rash and yeast infection forming quality, I am still eager to stare at the girl in it, so brands don’t matter…the only thing good about them is that they all do the same thing to get the same exposure and that’s hot photoshoots with babes….which are awesome..

This shoot was done by Max Abadian, who is a montreal based photographer, leading me to think that Olga Maliouk, despite her mail order bride name, may be a montreal based model, making me wonder why I am sitting on my soiled couch and not walking the streets screaming her name…hoping to find her or at least where she lives so that I can go through her garbage or steal her dirty laundry to feel close to her….

Posted in:Olga Maliouk

2013

18

Feb

Kate Moss for i-D pre-Spring Issue of the Day

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I Love Kate Moss….whether it is cuz she was hated for being skinny for so many years….or because despite being a 45 year old mom, she lives this rockstar life, filled with cocaine that she was caught doing on video….and various men, most of whom were questionable rockstars, you know who shared needles and fucked groupies without condoms while not showering for weeks at a time, that definitely came inside her, making her vagina a petri dish of all things glamorous, like herpes and hepatitis and even HIV…..but she carries it so well, and is so graceful about it….and looks amazing while doing it…..making her dirty panties a pair I’d love to sniff and even wear as a gas mask when the apocalypse finally happens…her scents will keep me alert and save me…..

Posted in:Kate Moss

2013

18

Feb

Kate Upton for Skullcandy of the Day

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The smartest thing Skullcandy did for their brand was lock Kate Upton into a contract, because a few weeks ago, I went through their youtube channel and every other video they did, I’m talking with known people, got all of 10,000 views, while this pig drives millions….

Tits get hits and she’s got a lot of tit…so it just makes sense that people watch….even if the whole thing is a pile of talentless, unfunny shit, that doesn’t make sense which is appropriate cuz Kate Upton’s fame doesn’t make sense……her body is sloppy, she’s built like she’s 40 and at 19, you know that’s gonna end real fucking bad….but in this window of opportunity, you know her 5 minutes, everyone’s celebrating…..

What a disaster….

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

18

Feb

Some Model Titties for Dazed & Confused of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

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Some of these titty models for fashion include Flo Dron, Weronika Hetnar & Zlata Mangafic….all of these titty models for fashion are models I have never heard of, which is kinda exciting because you know that out there lies a pile of women just eager to be on camera….so eager that they’ll let me take pics of them topless for the exposure this site can give them on my fucking Motorola Razr, cuz I’ll pretend that shit is trendy, high concept and art….and they will believe it cuz there is nothing more that they want that more twitter followers…living a dream I’m willing to exploit and apparently so is Dazed & Confused magazine….cuz new talent come topless and inexpensive….

Posted in:NSFW|Weronika Hetnar|Zlata Mangafic

2013

18

Feb

Ariana Grande Mounts Jeanette McCurdy of the Day

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So the next generation of poptarts older dudes with kids in this demographic lust after because it is the only show they are allowed to watch….making little sex pots out of otherwise innocent, annoying, teen girls just trying to live the Disney child star dream….are Arinana Grande and Jeanette McCurdy…..who was lovely enough to follow me on twitter this weekend cuz she knows we have a magical connection….just not one as great as she has with Ariana Grande…as they mount each other fully clothed…in what I think at least 100 people have masturbated to already…..that I don’t find all that erotic…cuz my erotic threshold is far more depraved and twisted….but then again….maybe jerking off to two innocent girls just fooling around fully clothed, not trying to be erotic, is twisted ina and of itself…you know like those dude who expose themselves to girls on their way to work or school, like shit dude this is not a porno this is just me going to school…what went wrong in your life to make that porno to you…kinda thing…..but here’s the pic anyway…I’ll let you be in charge of what you do with it….I’m just the delivery man.

Posted in:Ariana Grande|Jeanette McCurdy

2013

18

Feb

Victoria’s Secret Swim Video of the Day

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Behati Prinsloo is in some Victoria’s Secret Pics I’ve Probably Already Posted Cuz Victoria’s Secret pics are all the Same….

Here’s the 2013 SWIM promo video with some shitty as fuck Bieber music…..that luckily when can mute…cuz I’m not at the stage of creepy pervert who needs Bieber playing when sneaking into bedrooms at night….if anything that tween shit…annoys me…

Posted in:Behati Prinsloo

2013

18

Feb

Selena Gomez and/or Vanessa Hudgens Strikes a Pose for Social Media of the Day

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I don’t know if it is racism, or just not caring, when it comes to trying to differentiate Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens…because as far as I’m concerned they are virtually the same thing….the token ethnic looking girl….who battles with her weight….and does whatever it takes for publicity, whether it is dating a gay pop star or dating a gay costar….or taking nude pics at 17 of your bush that you shaved earlier that day but it grows back so fast with the whole being a fucking monkey thing…

Now they are both collectively trying to re-invent themselves, together, doing Harmony Korine smut, and I guess these pics are from the wild and crazy life of a poptart promotional tour….who cares….just look a how they pose though….

Posted in:Selena Gomez|Vanessa Hudgens

2013

18

Feb

Gina Gershon’s Shitty See Thru of the Day

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Gina Gershon is some 50 year old pile of Botox who was in my favorite movie of all time Cocktail…..and my second favorite movies Showgirls….and she doesn’t look a day over “She’s a fucking robot sent here to eat our fucking babies”….you see cuz there’s something hilarious about Botox and that is that when a bitch is 50 and has less wrinkles than a 20 year old, you know her skin taught like a condom, not that you have that problem and either do I, but I assume her face is what it is like….not that any of that matters, what matters is that she’s in a shitty see through dress and you can see her menopausal tits in their menopausal bra….and I guess that’s erotic to some of you so Imma bring it.

Posted in:Gina Gershon

2013

18

Feb

Sara Jean Underwood Still Has Fake Tits of the Day

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In case you were wondering….Sara Jean Underwood still has her shitty implants, because despite her TV stint, she’s still just a fucking stripper who made it to Playboy and that to me is what defines her now and for the rest of time…even if she goes onto win some oscar for playing a retard tranny immigrant who was raped by her dad….you know cuz the Oscars love storylines like that….

Either way, she’s getting interviewed at some event…and she’s doing some burping…and it is digusting….but I hate when girls burp..even when they burp up cum…cuz it’s just vulgar, trashy and makes me want to throw up….

She’s also pretending to be a geek cuz she put 4 years pretending to be a geek to lure a geek fanbase…so she’s not gonna ever admit that. It is her obvious but effective marketing strategy….

Posted in:Sara Jean Underwood