DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

01

Feb

Barbara Palvin Is Hot for Elle March 2013 of the Day

Barbara Palvin is the tall and luxurious heavily marketed 19 year old new blood that has only been getting her period for less than 5 years….making her relatively fresh compared to the other women Victoria’s Secret has been using…I guess she’s their rookie, their new Alessandra, the replacement pussy to pussy that has gone droopy and old……she’s ready to take it on…with all her Hungarian communist sausage eating ability…and I am ready to watch…cuz in pictures…when done up right….she’s fucking hot…

Here she is in Elle….making a name for herself…thanks to Victoria Secret….who need her to be a star…in order to sell more panties…cuz all the world needs is more panties….

Posted in:Barbara Palvin

2013

01

Feb

Helen Flanagan is a Sexy School Teacher for Love It Magazine of the Day

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Helen Flanagan is a busty UK saap star…from Cornation Street, some blue collar ghetto shot shit that I used to watch and that gives me panic attacks cuz it’s so garbage….and this is coming from a dude who lives in a one bedroom, unheated, basement apartment with rats….but she was the flower growing amongst all the fucking shit I guess….and now she’s gone onto great things…like this photoshoot that screams cheap porn magazine pics before the porn happens…you know the whole first three naughty teacher pics to set the fucking mood…and I fucking love it…even if most my fantasys when it comes to school is not getting my Masters degree…but instead being that naughty teacher….cuz young college girls are fucking hot…

Posted in:Helen Flanagan

2013

01

Feb

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

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Alessandra Ambrosio is a mom, an activity that I think ruins women on all fronts….cuz pregnancy has no glow…they just like to think that’s a glow…to make it a less disgusting experience….an experience that makes families, but rips apart perfectly good vagina…..

Seriously…I fear all things baby…..

But for some reason, a reason I call her awesoem body, I can see past that horrible torture she’s done to herself…kinda like eating out a hot girl you know has herpes, cuz it just doesn’t matter in the grand schemes of things…cuz she’s so hot….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

01

Feb

Lauren Conrad’s Showing Some Bra for Lucky March 2013 of the Day

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OMG! Lauren Conrad exists….she didn’t blow up with the rest of the cast of the HILLS like she should have…but I guess that’s because she’s gone onto bigger and better things….like posing in LUCKY magazine 5 years later, a magazine with a readership of at leaser 200 women at the gyno office….and she’s even showing a little bra to really set off fire alarms….letting us all know she’s not dead…even though she might as well could be….considering how much she matters now that her pollution has been taken off TV…..

And the real question is…how many dudes do you think have jerked off to her? I’m thinking not that many…

Posted in:Lauren Conrad

2013

01

Feb

Daisy Watts is Trying to Be Famous the Right Way of the Day

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Daisy Watts is apparently a Glamour model, or aspiring Glamour model, with 25,000 twitter followers, some of which may be purchased…and she’s doing this fame game the right way…you know by pumping out smutty pics for the perverts on the internet to fall in love with her….and print up to masturbate on….or to do weird fan art of….cuz that’s what loneliness does to a man….

I figure if ever you have big old tits, posting pics like this, is the way to get ahead….cuz as of today….I now know who Daisy Watts is….she’s on my radar….and also on yours…and it only took 3 pics….

Life lesson learned girls….start snappin’ that snapper.

Posted in:Daisy Watts|NSFW

2013

01

Feb

Rose McGowan is my Best Friend Showing Ass of the Day

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Rose McGowan probably wouldn’t tell you that we’re best friends, but I like to think of our exchange on facebook, when she deleted me after realizing I wasn’t one of Robert Rodriguez’s family members, was as magical for her as it was for me….you know when she told me I should change my internet persona to being someone far nicer….when I tried to explain that I am nice, this is all fun and games, I love all of God’s children equally, but if you’re gonna choose the fame game, I’m gonna choose to laugh at you…but never at you Rose McGowan…cuz you’ve aged gracefully, you’re classy, even with your ass hanging out of your pants, and all I want to do is hold you hand and tell you I care….

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Posted in:Rose McGowan

2013

01

Feb

Candice Swanepoel Strategic Nudity for Instagram of the DAy

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I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky that Candice Swanepoel is a fucking fantastic half naked girl who is sometimes fully naked…like in this picture she posted to instagram…that wasn’t as spread open so I can see her cervix enough…but I’m hard to please….and cervix porn is only something I get into when I really like the girl and want to see how fertile she is…you know so I can really imagine spilling a glass of my semen in there….so that our love can last forever with a new baby…

TO SEE PICS OF HER PLAYING IN ST BARTS
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Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

01

Feb

Evan Rachel Wood is Boring Cosmo March 2013 of the Day

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I prefer when EVAN RACHEL WOOD …is showing off her little lovely NIPPLES in photoshoots….you know to show us just how artistic and wild she is…like that time she dated Marilyn Manson…pretending to be all Goth and different…while really just being a huge fucking phony…cuz that’s the whole foundation of acting…or being an actor….

But I still don’t mind lookin at her in Cosmo….cuz I got nothing better to do….

Posted in:Evan Rachel Wood

2013

01

Feb

Holly Peers and Rosie Jones for FRONT’s March Issue of the Day

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These girls are built to last….at least for a minute…which is long enough because in that moment of glory…their window of opportunity…their time to shine…they are getting nude pics shot of them and their greatness…like their tits…and pictures last a long time….even forever….far longer than they’ll be around…and that’s a lesson for all you girls…cuz when you’re 50….the memory of you at your prime…may not be enough for you…or your husband to remember the glory days…get that shit in pictures…cuz you lose it fast….and then send me those pics to save for safe keeping…I’m really good a keeping nudes….

Here are Rosie Jones and Holly Peers looking awesome.

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Posted in:Holly Peers|NSFW|Rosie Jones

2013

01

Feb

Thaiz Schmitt is Awesome on the Beach of the Day

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Thaiz Schmitt that you don’t need to be pretty….or beautiful…or talented…or relevant…or really an anybody…to get noticed by the paparazzi…you just need to be wearing a skimpy bikini….obviously…I’ve never heard of this chick, but realized I don’t need to hear about these chicks to love looking at them in pics wearing bikinis…crawling around and working it like it’s some kind of softcore photoshoot….because I think it’s safe to say…I’d watch any and every girl do that….and it doesn’t even have to be in paparazzi pics…I’m perfectly fine with facebook albums and instagram uploads….cuz every vagina deserves to be masturbated to at least once.

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Posted in:Thaiz Schmitt