DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

21

Jan

Ana Ivanovic Tennis Nipples of the Day

Ana Ivanovic is a tennis player….a female tennis player unlike that Williams sister who like the movie Ladybug (RIP BRANDIS)…..is clearly a genetically modified player who barely passes the hormonal level of a woman….but who daddy had the insight to make a woman with a blade in the garage when she was a kid….in order to live out his tennis dreams….

Ana Ivanovic is a tennis player….like many female tennis player…all fit…and elegant…and lovely…making you wish you were a country club WASP…..who grunts like she’s getting fucking blasted hard….and flashes her panty ass all day….when not showing off a sweaty cameltoe vagina….or rocking hard nipples like in this pic from the Australian open….

All this to say…women’s tennis is my favorite….a highly erotic experience….

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Posted in:Ana Ivanovic

2013

21

Jan

Rihanna on Set in a Bathing Suit of the Day

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Rihanna is a lot of fun….at least on Social Media…she’s like watching a lottery winner going nuts with all the money and attention she’s getting…you know totally loud and not subtle about anything….even if a little tormented by her religious roots and the fact that she’s some harlot who likes men who beat her and showing off her nipples while getting high….as little kids look on in awe and say “I’m gonna dance like Rihanna at my 3rd grade dance and make every adult in the room feel awkward”…..you see she may not be an inspiration or a mentor or someone you want your kids looking up to….but she is someone you’d probably want to masturbate to…cuz there are few better than her at this game in the celebrity game…and that makes her matter more than her songs or bank account….she’s just a fucking good time….and here she is showing off body and high face on set somewhere cuz amongst all her instagram Jesus quotes is this gold….

Posted in:Rihanna

2013

21

Jan

Imogen Thomas Does the Shakira of the Day

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Imogen Thomas is some Big Brother topless Glamour Model…who has got knocked up by someone who I assume is rich….and probably a soccer player….as some kind of retirement plan…because that’s what all these Glamour Models do…it is like that is the whole point of being a Glamour Model….you know to find a rich husband who will take care of you when your retarded big tits start to sag….and getting knocked up as fucking soon as possible to ensure the plan goes through as planned…

Well, she’s decided to go out and do some CHEESY AS FUCK….Sears Catalog….trashy naked pregnant woman pics….cuz she was once a naked non pregnant woman in pics…and I had no choice but to post them…because despite not valuing Glamour Models as celebs, or even people….and not valuing pregnant women as women due to lack of sex appeal….she is naked…and that for some reason overrides all I hate about these pics…

Posted in:Imogen Thomas

2013

21

Jan

Samantha Gradoville Nude Modeling of the Day

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Samantha Gradoville is an American Model….because I guess that happens sometimes….you know when you dig through the depths of processed fast foods, obesity crisis, walmart cookie aisles…..every once in a while a good genetic built woman….happens to be a US Passport holder…and sometimes even a US Birth Certificate holder because either they are smart enough to stay active and not eat shit…or they are first generation immigrants and not fully absorbed in the American Way yet…..and instead of seeing her as a dying art form….the last of the sexy American….I see her as hope that more and more girls out there put down the sugar and MSG and pick up doing squats cuz shit….you’ll look better naked if you do…and that’s all that fucking matters in life.

Posted in:NSFW|Samantha Gradoville

2013

21

Jan

Adrianne Curry Ass in a Bikini of the Day

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If a useless, bottom feeding, pile of reality show shit, wears a bikini and posts it to social media….does it make a sound?

That is the philosophical question of the day and I am gonna say it does…cuz I am posting it….because I am a firm believer that no matter how hungry you are for attention…or how irrelevant you are on the ladder of fame….getting in a bikini and taking a selfie always fucking matters and helps you solidify your place at the bottom…with your bottom.

I hate this woman…the only kind of curry I like is in my indian food….she has started war with me…but I’ll still look at her ass in a bikini….cuz it’s better than looking at my wife…

Posted in:Adrianne Curry

2013

21

Jan

Sara Underwood’s Ass Looking for her Career of the Day

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Sara Underwood posted this picture to instagram and it made me laugh…because it looks like a woman watching her husband go out to sea only for him to never return….or something equally dramatic like let’s say realizing that the one mainstream show that cast you for a hosting job is now off the air…and the public really only cares about seeing you naked….leaving you with only one option…running back to playboy like the hooker who tried to escape the pimp only to run back to him beaten having learned her lesson that his protection is good…..or a life at comic book conventions signing nerd obesity induced tits…

It’s like she’s all pensive, dramatic, with so much torment and depth…when really it’s just a way to post a pic of her ass without fully going back to her porno past….

Either way, it’s worth lookin at….as she waves goodbye to her relevance and career….it is almost romantic….

Posted in:Sara Underwood

2013

21

Jan

Elle Liberachi Hot for FHM Russia of the Day

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Elle Liberachi is from Russia….and she’s in their version of FHM…and I am in love…it’s like I wish I could order her out of a catalog and bring her to my house…only to have her hate me….and want me dead….but knows if she kills me off immigration will investigate and she will lose her green card….giving me all the power….hence why I bought her in the first place….only to show her pictures of war torn russia….or her weird cold water flat she lived in….everytime she acts up….saying “Behave or back to that”…..to which she will respond with the option of ass, pussy or mouth….but unfortunately, Russia has picked up the pieces of it’s broken heart…and now has more billionaires than any other country….making my dreams of owning an Elle Liberachi far from a reality….but at least she poses half naked…..so we can stare at her…

Posted in:Elle Liberachi

2013

21

Jan

Miley Cyrus Booty in Bikini in Costa Rica of the Day

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Even a pixelated ass shot of Miley Cyrus’ ass in Costa Rica wearing a bikini is enough for me to feel a tingle in my pants….because Miley has this young tight body that you can really appreciate in pictures…cuz you don’t have to listen to her spoiled brat hick voice talking nonsense….when you can just stare at her fucking ass in a bikini…which is really all you want from her….like going on a bad date with a babe you want to fuck and having to sit through hours of her talking about herself to the point where you just want to get her home and not even bother hate fucking her cuz you know it will mean listening to more of her talking and instead you go home and jerk off to her cleavage or ass instead…cuz it’s less detrimental on the soul….not that you ever go on dates…but an ass pic of Miley is a lot like that experience would be if you do….it’s the good parts of her….even when Pixelated…..and from afar….in an angle I call “The Voyeur in Your Tree”…..aka My favorite place to be…..

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

21

Jan

Elsa Hosk Topless Shoot of the Day

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It’s Martin Luther King day or some other long weekend bullshit in America…and you should have taken advantage of it and gone south like some kind of rich jetsetter who isn’t sitting on a mountain of debt…with a pile of bills you can’t afford headed your way….or the need to buy a new car to get to your shitty job that barely keeps you afloat….or a need to save money for a new roof cuz that leak is starting to give your kid pneumonia…..you know cuz winter is the fucking worst….and the beach is the best…and sometimes throwing all your responsibilities aside and telling your wife you’re going out to get milk only to never return is the best option to allow you to be the man you want to be….free….

Well, for those of us stuck in the snow, I figured this Victoria’s Secret model….from Sweden topless in some random summery shoot was better to stare at than the harsh reality that our lives suck…especially on a long weekend….in the middle of winter…when we’d all rather be staring at bikini tits….

No idea when this shoot is from….but it doesn’t matter….

Posted in:Elsa Hosk|NSFW

2013

21

Jan

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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stepGIRL model can be found INSTAGRAM and she’s AMAZING!

I think the only reason I talk to girls is the hope that one day they will be drunk….or feeling dejected or vulnerable…and will end up showing me their vagina…

The reality is…I want to see every single vagina in the world or die trying.

Here are some morning links for those of you who aren’t on a long weekend like most Americans….or who aren’t on a permanent vacation like me.

Beatboxer is Ripping It on the Subway
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Heather Rene Smith Brings Back Warm Memories (NSFW)
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Jennifer Lawrence Was on SNL and Here’s a Clip – VIDEO
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Last Week in Playmate Instagram
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This Delorean Hovercraft is Kinda Amazing
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How About Denise Milani (NSFW)
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Oh For Fuck Sakes They Are Making a Lance Armstrong Movie
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Victoria’s Secret Model Sued for Over $3 Mil-Or 1 1/2 Fantasy Bras
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Perky Teen Makes a Video For Her Boyfriend (NSFW)
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Zora Ball: The Seven-Year-Old Mobile Gaming App Developer
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Melanie Ann Helps Us Start the Week Off (NSFW)
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John Lennnon Was So Fucking Whipped – VIDEO
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Posted in:stepLINKS