Jessica Simpson’s new commercial for Weight Watchers takes a new angle, you know instead of doing the Jennifer Hudson and actually losing weight, they’ve decided to promote her as losing 50 pounds, even though that was baby weight and 12 of those pounds were a kid and another 30 of those pounds was water retention…..because I guess they want to get their money’s worth as she’s trying her hardest to back peddle and get out of the contract…without having to pay them back…by getting knocked up….

This is what you call a rich person’s strategy to get motivated to lose weight, it’s like “If I buy that treadmill, I’ll use it”…only the endorsement worth millions of dollars version….but instead of leaving it in the corner of the basement to hang laundry off of…bitch has to get lawyers to find the loopholes to remain fat….

This strategy of “Hey Fat America, I’m Like You, But thanks to Weight Watchers, I’m in Control, but Still FAt”….making Weight Watchers come across as being a company that keeps you fat, but gives you a point system to gauge just how fat you are….I ate 400 points in cake yesterday…today I’ll eat 390….making fucking moves to a better life like I was Jessica Simpson…

Unless, this is all a joke, and Weight Watchers was like, let’s make Jessica Simpson into a viral video, since she mocked our agreement like a redneck hick mocking an interracial couple….all toothless and inbred…you know make a mockery of her for 2,000,000 dollars we can write off as an advertising expense….because revenge comes in all forms….

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