DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2011

29

Sep

Pippa Middleton’s White Virginal Dress of the Day

I feel like my day isn’t complete unless I post a Pippa Middleton post. I have every boring photo set I come across of hers, you know like it is my life calling to document her every move until she fucking cracks and gets sucked into all the attention she’s getting, and embraces it the way she should, by getting naked, in efforts to make a name for herself, and break free from her sister’s perfect little princess shadow…I’m talking seducing Prince William and releasing the fucking sex tape, to let everyone know who the fucking princess is now…you know the kind of crackin’ up that happens with years of feeling second rate….but until that happens, her leaving her house is the best we get….and since it is my life work to document her, that’s good enough for me…

Posted in:Pippa Middleton

2011

29

Sep

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Long Legs of the Day

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Here’s some hard Alessandra Amrbosio, brazilian model and mom, going to some expensive restaurant with some ridiculous outfit, covering up her long legs, like she’s not paid to get HALF NAKED on the regular by some evil corporation who owns the rights to her and her body….because thats what happens when you sell your soul to the devil to leave your small catholic Brazilian poverty filled life….for the glamor of corporate American luxury….

These pictures would be more interesting on a beach, in a bikini, or in a catalog in a thong where she belongs…but as a bottom feeder I take what I can get…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2011

29

Sep

Daria Werbowy by Terry Richardson for Vogue Russia of the Day

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Daria Werbowy is a model who HAS BEEN NAKED IN VOGUE but for some reason is not Naked for Vogue Russia in these Terry Richardson pics, because Terry Richardson doesn’t take pictures of Hipsters and Fashionistas covered in cum and spreading their assholes anymore, which is too bad cuz that’s all he was good for, but I guess making money meant more to him than producing smut, a lead I should probably take…

That said this Daria bitch is fantastic, but maybe I’m just saying that cuz I love models and all their easy living with almost a joke of a job…because they just show up in luxurious places with all expenses paid, get made up, and stand around, being catered and pampered for 10,000 dollars a day, the kind of work ethic I appreciate…but more importantly that I want to fuck

Posted in:Daria Werbowy

2011

29

Sep

Hilary Duff Gets Flowers from the Paparazzi of the Day

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The paparazzi are such considerate scum….

You know digging through a celebs trash, hiding in trees, chasing Princess Diana down tunnels so that she dies, all while being on celebrity payroll, getting leads and exclusives to capture to release the pictures of these idiots to the media at inflated prices, I’m talking seriously inflated prices…

The whole thing is almost ridiculous….but when you see one of them giving Hilary Duff some flowers for her birthday, it makes the whole experience so human…because it’s not just a gesture of thanks for makin them a lot of money, or a gesture of kindness that will lead to getting them on her payroll as her exclusive paparazzi, and it’s not set up for personal gain in anyway, it’s just telling a bitch “Happy Birthday”….and I’m really just interested in her uterus filled with fetus ass. Cuz that’s what I’m here for….

The whole paparazzi thing, despite posting paparazzi pictures all day, amazes me….why do people care about these cunts…it makes no sense.

Posted in:Hilary Duff

2011

29

Sep

Vanessa Pudgens Ass in Tight Pants on a Bike of the Day

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I’ve been making fun of Vanessa Hudgens the last couple months because she cut off her hair and got fat, cuz she probably made a million dollars to do that, thanks to being an actor but shit still made her look like a dyke, which tied in nicely with the self shot pics of her naked and making out with a chick that sue threated to press charges against me for posting cuz she was 17, when I just think it was poorly planned cuz of her 5 o’clock shadow bush, even though I love bush, but the rest of the world doesn’t, which is unfortunate for her cuz being a little monkey means naturally being hairy….

But the truth is, I find Vanessa Hudgens kinda hot…maybe cuz I know she’s slutty thnaks to disney execs and a contract boyfriend who was gay leaving her with a tingly pussy dying to get fucked leading to self shot nudes..or maybe it’s cuz in yoga pants, pudgy or not, her ass looks fun to eat.

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2011

29

Sep

Kirsten Dunst Melancholia Premiere of the Day

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I’ve already posted the good parts of this movie….you know the Kirsten Dunst topless scenes in Melancholia to remind you how big her tits are on her small frame…making you forget how haggard, unshowered, cracked out and fucked up her teeth are, because when you have great tits on small frame, all other shit just doesn’t matter…making this likely the best move in her career, cuz tits like this should never go to fucking waste…

Here’s the clip you all want to see…

Here she is at the Melancholia Premiere…..less interesting than the clip…but good enough reason to post the topless clip….

Here is the premise of Melanchloia…Seems ridiculous…

Two sisters find their already strained relationship challenged as a mysterious new planet threatens to collide into the Earth.

Wow…..

Posted in:Kirsten Dunst

2011

29

Sep

Barbara Palvin Turning Me On in Some Photoshoot of the Day

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Barbara Palvin is an Eastern European model who was born in October 8, 1993 – That means she is 17 for 1 more week, so take in these pictures of her stripped down to her panties for Elle Hungary, because in America, 17 year olds in panties, unless they work for Victoria’s Secret in the 90s, are illegal, where as in Eastern Europe they are prime to be mail order, or at least to be human trafficked because they know what’s up…

Posted in:Barbara Palvin

2011

29

Sep

stepNEWS of the Day

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I think the highlight of today’s news is this story of a man having a drug overdose at a Pastor’s sex and drug party, because like the pastor I believe in sex and drugs, and feel like more people need to realize that what happens behind closed doors, and not what happens in front of a congregation is what really matters. We are human and by default debaucherous perverts…Let’s embrace it motherfuckers…

Here’s the Rest of the news….

California Teacher Bans “Bless You” Phrase For Sneezing Students
A California teacher has banned students from saying “bless you” when someone sneezes in his class.
TO SEE THE CLIP – CLICK THIS LINK

2nd Grade Girl Ingests Hand Sanitizer at School
A young girl in Prince William County was rushed to the hospital with alcohol poisoning after drinking hand sanitizer in her second grade classroom. The girl’s father is outraged and says there are still questions about what exactly happened.
TO SEE THE CLIP – CLICK THIS LINK

Dallas Busts Female Shoplifting Ring
TO SEE THE CLIP – CLICK THIS LINK

Mass. man planned to blow up Pentagon
TO SEE THE CLIP – CLICK THIS LINK

Woman: Stranger Buried in Family’s Michigan Plot
TO SEE THE CLIP – CLICK THIS LINK

Law bans sex offenders from Massachusetts library
TO SEE THE CLIP – CLICK THIS LINK

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

29

Sep

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

1 Comment »

So I lost a reader, likely my only reader because I made too many rape jokes and her best friend just got raped…..I guess you can’t please everyone…and I think you gotta be careful who you ask to live out rape fantasies with, cuz you never know whether a bitch is gonna take it personal or not….

Here’s the morning links…in the afternoon cuz I’m a hungover loser…

When Soccar Moms Go Bad – VIDEO
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Hottest Beach Cheerleader Photos God Damn
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Free Cam Show Sexiness
FOLLOW THIS LINK

And That’s Why You Don’t Honk at Old People
FOLLOW THIS LINK

The Six Sexiest Moments in Recent Advertising History
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Alicia is in One short Short Skirt
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Molly Sims Bikini Shots, Why Not?
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Live Sex Cam Sexiness
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Get a Load of Tahiry
FOLLOW THIS LINK

SarlettJohanssoning.com is the Funniest Site on the Internet Other Than Mine
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:MHD