I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2011

24

Mar

Tori Black Naked in a Mainstream Movie of the Day

I’ve probably said this before, but I’ll say it again.

Tori Black is probably the best looking pornstar out there. She’s the kind of girl who could have chosen any path, whether being the next Megan Fox, or Alba or whatever, but instead she chose getting fucked on camera.

I’m not entirely sure if that was a good thing or not, I mean sure being able to cross reference a bitch with her dick choking ability is a nice feature, but there’s this level of mystery that comes with not being a pornstar that makes a bitch far more interesting to me…..

Even in all my laziness as a pervert, I prefer wondering how a bitch fucks than seeing it in produced cheesy internet videos….making me one of the few dudes who hates porn bitches….and prefers thinking a bitch is wholesome and not getting paid for her fuck…cuz being in porn is too easy, trashy and most of the time boring….give me an amateur or a sex tape, even a staged sex tape any fucking day….it’s the same reason I prefer going to real bars over stripclubs, cuz at least when I see up a bitch’s skirt at a real club, it has what seems like some meaning, value, etc.

Either way, here’s Tori Blacki in some Mainstream Horror movie called Half Moon that I’ve never heard of…naked…even though you can just google to see her really REALLY naked…if you know what I mean…making this mainstream career an obvious one…

Here’s the premise – guess who she plays:

“Half Moon” tells the story of a city gripped with fear because of a man killing prostitutes.”

This is some real low grade shit…my god…..this can’t be called mainstream, sure it’s not porn, but it is definitely fucking smut…. FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Tori Black

2011

24

Mar

Amazing Face of the Day

I haven’t followed the Chris Brown story.

I was actually surprised at least one person asked me why I didn’t cover the Chris Brown anger management story.

I wrote him off when he didn’t finish the job on Rihanna when he had the chance to take her out, something I am sure 98 percent of Bajans would be happy to see cuz she’s hated on her home turf, and 100 percent of me would be happy to see, strictly cuz she’s a fucking cunt and I see through the act….

I don’t believe in violence towards women, even if it was self defense from her crazy ass that I am still convinced choked herself out to fuck with the dude cuz he cheated on her, but I figure why do something half assed. If you’re 45 percent of the way through something, you might as well finish what you are doing….

But I started a new Feature called Amazing Face and whatever Chris Brown is doing grinding up on this manly faced bitch in a bikini, his face is doing something kind of amazing…making it the Amazing Face of the Day…Make sense? FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Amazing Face

2011

24

Mar

Elle Macpherson’s Tight Pants Hug Retired Model Mom Pussy of the Day

I’ve been masturbating to Elle Macpherson since the 80s. I mean if you can really call crying in the corner covered in feces eating expired dairy products while high on bath salts masturbating….

I don’t really know where that came from, but I think it has to do with staring at her mom pussy eating spandex…it’s does weird things to me…

I guess today is retired model day here… FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Elle Macpherson

2011

24

Mar

Cindy Crawford’s Old Retired Model Legs at Some HBO Event of the Day

I’ll always be down for some Cindy Crawford. She’s just the kind of early 90s iconic pussy that ages pretty fucking amazing and after accidentally being pushed by her huge body guard outside her hotel I coincidentally was walking by a few years ago, her looking down at my from her 6 foot 6 perch, giving me a smile that made me want to climb her towering legs almost and build a fucking tree house in her pussy like I was the Swiss Family Robinsons. Moving in and never leaving due to warmth, comfort and the kind of agoraphobia every dude in the world can probably relate to. She’s amazing well into her 40s and I just hope I live long enough to senior citizen rape her at the old folks home we both live at…cuz I expect her to burn through her model and divorce money by then…in a “not too good for me now” funny how things work out redemption that will never happen, but feels good to talk about… FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Cindy Crawford

2011

24

Mar

A Kate Moss Lazy Retrospective of the Day

I feel like it is unfair to all the other bitches out there to be overshadowed by all the attention Elizabeth Taylor has been getting. You know with all the people giving her retrospectives, talking about how great she was, and what a legend she was, all set to 50 year old pictures of her, calling her the lady of Hollywood or whatever the fuck else the said to ignore her alcoholism and pill popping and marriage addiction…and I get it…Hollywood doesn’t make them like they used to, all the new pussy is ghetto and trashy as fuck…but the issue is she doesn’t get to bask in the glory of her career…or all the nice things people are saing cuz she’s dead…so I wanted to give other pussy a decent retrospective before they die of AIDS complications and drug overdoses…

So to start this feature we’re going to take a look way back in Kate Moss’ life….sure it is just the last three days ago…until today…but this is the Kate Moss Retrospoective by a lazy person trying to show some tired vagina some appreciation… Yes, I’m an idiot. FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Kate Moss

2011

24

Mar

Alessandra Ambrosio for GQ Brasil of the Day

I wonder if the fact that the first three letters of Brazil, or Brasil if you’re pretentious and like to pretend you are intune with the locals and only refer to their shit the way they do, you know in some Portugues like the kind of motherfucker who calls Italy Italia, or China ??+??…..spell BRA….and all their women or men who look like women (Gisele) are bikini models…I am sure it has nothing to do with it being one of those countries filled will all kinds of different genetics, a melting pot that doesn’t allow for inbreds, a beach and great weather to keep a bitch fit….Funny how a bunch of girls from a country that has the the first three letters … FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2011

24

Mar

Irina Shayk’s Bikini Video of the Day

“Beach Day 01” from jerome duran on Vimeo.

This video was shot by some dude name Jerome Duran. Probably not from the band Duran Duran. It was shot for the opening of Irina Shayk’s official website and who really cares about the bullshit details, there’s a girl in a bikini rolling around in sand in video, pretty much what the plot of all movies should be cuz it’s hot and really all that is good left in the world….Unfortunately all I see is a hot body that’s gone to waste by being forced to date a fake straight soccer player in exchange for an SI cover….not that I’m one of those virgin losers who sits in my shitty basement apartment hating dudes who landed great pussy and how I’d be a better love to these women…I’m talking to you Xena fans….I’m just saying it’d be nice watching her prance around the beach knowing she gets fucked hard twice a day..instead of focusing on the disturbing truth that her sex life involves masturbating to her boyfriend sucking off dicks…but the good news is that it keeps her pussy in one piece… FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Irina Shayk

2011

24

Mar

Dree Hemingway Topless in Numero of the Day

The thing I like about Dree Hemingway is not that she doesn’t go by her actual last name, but instead uses the last name of her great grandfather on her mother’s side, like every bottom feeding pig who needs something bigger than themselves to associate with, and who rides that shit as far as it will take them, cuz it is the only relevance they have in the world, so everyone asks or knows that maybe you’re related to Hemingway, like a tattoo on your fucking head that says “I’m Ernest Hemingway’s Great Granddaughter so give me work and listen to me even though I’ve never met him, but have read his books and have heard stories” …. and I’m guessing it works….

The thing I like about Dree Hemingway is that she still has to show her tits to get work, like a common whore…proving that it doesn’t matter who your famous, possibly legendary ancestors are, you still gotta be a fuckin’ whore, even after whoring out his name like it was a teen runaway looking for a warm bed to sleep in mid winter….

The whole thing is pretty fucking tacky. I’m sure if Hemingway knew his distant relatives would have been name dropping his shit decades after his death, he woulda killed himself sooner… FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Dree Hemingway

2011

24

Mar

stepNEWS of the Day

Let’s get the stepNEWS that isn’ News but that is porn to at least one person…cuz Fat Ho Burgers, naked rescues, children being sold for sex in Memphis and virgin waxes or slap dancing gone wrong is my thing…but only if it makes it to the local news…the big times for such insignificant crap…cuz we’re no CNN and by we I mean me…there’s only one of us here, the voices are just from locking myself in a hole for 6 years married to a computer cuz the fat wife I married was disgusting to look at…but enough about me…Here’s the latest FOLLOW ME
news….

Do Teen Girls Dress Too Sexy?
Is naughty becoming the new normal for young teens around ages 13, 14 and 15? Parents today are trying to balance teenage independence and parental controls. But when celebrity images are thrown into the mix it can be quite confusing for all.

Virgin Waxes
GO

Children Being Sold for Sex in Memphis
Children being held captive and sold for sex, some call it modern day slavery and it’s happening right here in Memphis and the Mid-South.

Video Spurs Police Investigation
Two Chicago cops are now off the street after appearing to use gang members to intimidate a young man in the back of a police SUV.

School at Center of Letter Controversy
“I asked the students why they refused to say the Pledge of Allegiance and they said we are Mexicans and Americans stole our land,” reads a letter from a substitute teacher, now at the center of another controversy at the State Capitol.

‘Fat Ho Burgers’ Opens in Texas
You can get hot, juicy burgers with crispy tots or fries at a new restaurant in Waco, Texas. But it’s not the food that’s getting the attention at Fat Ho Burgers.

Naked woman rescued from San Diego cliff
SAN DIEGO – A heroic rescue took place in California where a naked woman was pulled to safety yesterday after getting stuck on this narrow cliff near San Diego’s Black Beach.

Man facing DWI charge shows up drunk
NEW YORK – A New York man who was scheduled to appear before a judge on felony DWI charges was arrested at the courthouse after allegedly enjoying a liquid lunch.

THROWBACK NEWS THAT ISN’T NEWS….

Slap dancing gone wrong

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

24

Mar

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

It’s morning. I have a hangover and I have to take a dump…That’s what happens when you drink shitty draft beer and you’re dying on the inside…. FOLLOW ME

RETARDED Tattoo of the Day
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Stand Up and Bounce Girls: The 20 Hottest Fans in the Stands
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Use Your Lunch Break to Check Out Some Sluts
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Great Bar Celebrations during Sporting Events
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Ashley Greene is Drunkenly Banging Randoms and I Wish I Was One of Them
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Lacy Babe On the Pole!
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Get a Load of Lola B
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These Sluts Can’t Keep Their Hands Off Each Other
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And Now, The Best Story You Will Read About Roseanne EVER
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Posted in:MHD