I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

25

Nov

Cameron Diaz See Through Bikini of the Day


It is your thanksgiving and I figure why should I bother trying to post, no one is going to read it, but then I remembered that the world is not based on fucking America and since I have no readers on a regular day, nothing changes come Holidays….

So here are some pics of Cameron Diaz giving thanks that she’s got tons of money and access to Botox, cuz bitch is old.

These pics are shitty, but at least she’s not fat like most 40 year old pussy that didn’t make a living off their looks, who never married and never got knocked up, cuz they feared getting old and becoming irrlevant…I guess we can thank Hollywood for that, cuz without it, god fucking knows that kind of pig behind the counter at WalMart Cameron Diaz would be.

Not that it matters. Happy Thanksgiving America. Celebrating Natives who are shitty at real estate deals with Turkey meals and football makes total sense to me…but not as much as Cameron Diaz hiding her menopause body while trying to hang onto her youth…but not in a fun, careless sex tape way, but in a covering her menopausal body way. Boring.

Posted in:Cameron Diaz

2010

25

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

This post should be called the 6 Year Anniversary of the Day…but it turns out i fucked up and my actual 6 year anniversary was on Miley’s birthday, November 23. No wonder we have such a strong connection, the day she was old enough to fuck by disney execs was the day this magic happened….

So I wrote this thinking that on this day in 2004, I turned the internet into something worth using….Yes, I take full credit for the Internet going mainstrem.

It was accidental, because I don’t know shit about computers, but for some sick reason, 6 years later I’m still doing it. I don’t do it for the money, cuz the site doesn’t make moneyu, I do it cuz I don’t know what else to do.

This is not a business like so many other blogs are to people, this just happens to be my life….

Depressing maybe…but it is what it is…we’re not victims here….except after sodomy….

So to my one reader, thanks for being here.

To myself, thanks for not killing myself despite how depressing this has been

To my advertisers, thanks for being non-existent and horrible supporters.

To future advertisers I hit up, thanks for blowing me off and labeling me a porn site who doesn’t deserve your money, keeping me poor.

To the movie producers and publishers, thanks for offering everyone a movie and book deal, I mean Julia Childs shit was disgusting…

To celebs, thanks for not knowing I exist…but continuing to be attention seeking idiots who sold their souls out for attention that I can write random blurbs no one reads about like I care when really I am just too lazy to start my own video site….who without your boring shit people are obsessed with, I’d be writing about things that matter, and who wants to do that…cuz I am lazy…

To Lohan, thanks for inviting me back to your hotel to listen to your album a couple of years ago….I think you’re the only reason I do this site…but don’t tell anyone I said that….

On this thanksgiving – I give thanks for a lot of things – even though none of those things really matter….

To quote my first post that you can find here HERE …..

I am – Drunken Stepfather
Here, We Will Take Off Our Pants:

I like to drink and I am a stepfather, your stepfather.

I will show you things that you will like…

I will help you become a better person…

We only feature things we think are worth posting

Sometimes they will be offensive, sometimes funny, sometimes not cool at all.

It is hit and miss and I am drunk.

I am not willing to put all that much thought into it and why I find funny or worth posting now, may not be funny or worth reading in an hour.

This is DrunkenStepfather.

Send me naked pictures of your sisters, girlfriends, mothers and friends.

I get lonely typing blogs and need jerk-off material, even though I am impotent.

Cuddles.

A lot has changed…like that girls finally send me pics of thier twats on the daily cuz I am internet famous…..but somethings haven’t….like my drunken typos….

To see the old site when it was on blogspoit GO

Now, here are my stepLINKS – Happy Birthday to me….Happy Thanksgiving to you…Send Nudes…

I Know People Like to Be Early for This Whole Black Friday Thing But I Think This is a Tad Overboard
GO

Because Sluts Are Underrated If You Ask Me
GO

I Could Think of a Million Things I’d Like to Do to Katie Fey
GO

Busty Lesbian Titty Suck…of the Day
GO

The Hottest NFL Cheerleaders of Week 10
GO

Because Christmas is Coming and It’s Time to Stock Up on Toys
GO

Ginger Spice Rocks Her Cougar Body in a Bikini and It’s Not Bad at All
GO

Jessica Simpson – Fat or Pregnant? You Decide
GO

Emma Watson Panty Flash On The Today Show
GO

They Don’t Call Him Johnny Rotten For Nothing
GO

Edita Vilkeviciute Has One Hot Body
GO

Hot Girls With Six Pack Abs
GO

Hot Slut Pole Dances to Metallica
GO

Disney World Sucks – VIDEO
GO

I Wanna Be All Over Yiyanna’s Body
GO

I’ll Never Get Sick of Bad Girls Club Videos
GO

Horny Girl in a Russian Jail Fingers Herself for the Lucky police Officers
GO

4 Way Lesbian Orgy of the Day
GO

Angelina Jolie Teaches Her Children to Hate America
GO

I Love Japan and their Open Attitude Towards Sex
GO

Leighton Meester is Looking Hot Lately
GO

Long Legged Teen Gets Herself Off – VIDEO
GO

Best Of: Nicolas Cage Spaz Attacks – VIDEO
GO

Mena Suvari is Looking Hot
GO

Insane Grafitti Artists – VIDEO
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Olivia Palermo is Hot and I Would Do Her
GO

Slut on Video of the Day
GO

Candice Swanepoel Is Absolutely Perfect
GO

Dennis Rodman Gets His Dick Sucked During Shows, Bastard
GO

Minke Kelly Hotness
GO

College Hottie Striptease of the Day
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Tila Tequila Brings Her See Through Top To The AMA’s
GO

J-Woww: Big Tits and Butter Face
GO

Why I Take Yoga: Hot Yoga Bitches
GO

A Sweet Halle Berry Panty Peak
GO

Follow Me on FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Check the stepFORUM Out – A Gilr Posted Her Pussy There
stepFORUM

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

24

Nov

Katsia Zinga in her Lingerie of the Day

This is supposed to be the new Victoria’s Secret pussy, her name is Katsia Zinga. I don’t know if her family has been abducted in order for Victoria’s Secret to recruit her in their secret society human sex trade I want to fuck, but I can assume they imported her after showing her pics of all the immigrants before her who are now really fucking rich and respected….and really I kinda like what they do…cuz pussy like this is spectacular and knowing they are essentially slaves taken from their lives and homes for promises of a life better than working a the whorehouse or a sweatshop is fucking porn to me…

Posted in:Katsia Zinga

2010

24

Nov

Lindsay Lohan’s Ass in Leggings Smoking of the Day

I still have faith in this crackhead addict…I still see Oscar potential…Not because she is talented…but because Hollywood is a fucking joke and they prove it time and time again….

I still have love for Lohan and her addictions but mainly I just love her tits….but sometimes you gotta give the ass a little love…cuz otherwise it develops a complex, gets insecure and starts doing heroin and experiments with disgusting women in a self sabotage that makes her harder to jerk off to…

Here is her ass smoking like all addicts…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2010

24

Nov

Kelly Brook’s Tits Celebrating Her Birthday of the Day

It was Kelly Brook’s birthday. I guess this was a year she wanted to show the world is that when she puts her tits away she’s really nothing fucking special….

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2010

24

Nov

More Candice Swanepoel in her Bikini of the Day

Yeah, I realize that I posted a Nude Candice Swanepoel earlier today, but after those pics, I haven’t been able to stop giving thanks for her not being raped and murdered in some South African race war, or that she hasn’t died of AIDS, or been eaten by a giraffe or by ebola or whatever the fucking dangers of living in Africa are, it is Thanksgiving after all….

I feel like I have posted these pictures so many times before cuz they all kind of look the same and I guess there’s real problem in that. Keep ’em comin’ is what I say.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2010

24

Nov

Olivia Munn Photoshopped for a Magazine Cover of the Day

Here’s fake famous Olivia Munn. I hate her and everything she stands for. I find her a scamming cunt who is way too overrated and who doesn’t deserve to be on the cover of any magazine no matter how low quality it is. She just found a market of idiots who think she’s hotter than she is cuz she talks their virgin loser talk and because of them we’ve got this….and it’s because of them that I’m posting this…cuz let’s face it, all take all the traffic I can get, and if ever a half dozen virgin losers obsessed with this twat stick around hoping for more or even to bitch me out about how wrong I am about her, I’ll be doing 6 times better than I am with you…

I heard a funny Olivia Munn story about a virgin loser blogger who got invited to her G4TV show as a guest. He asked her on a date thinking she was all into his kind, like some ballsy fucking socially awkward dude with a crush would do, cuz his ego was inflated and he finally felt cool for being invited somewhere, and bitch gave him a signed autograph for him to jerk off to instead….cuz she doesn’t actually care about virgin loser nerds, she just uses them for her personal gain…

The moral of the story is, don’t think you’re cool cuz you have a website and don’t ask out bitches who think they are cool cuz they are on TV and many men with low standards jerk off to her.

Here she is on the cover of Men’s Health…it takes everything in me to post this nonsense.

Posted in:Olivia Munn

2010

24

Nov

Candice Swanepoel Nude fo VMan of the Day

I posted the video of a shy and embarrassed Candice Swanepoel checking out this V-Man spread for the first time cuz it brought back memories of video taping 18 year old everyday girls banging my dick unprotected while drunk, only to show them the video a week later or the next day, loving the horror in their eyes, unable to accept that they did what they did, only to negotiate what it would take to get me to delete the shit….usually with more hot sex….it is one of those “OMG, I totes can’t believe I did this, I’m such a slut, but the money was good, so I guess that makes me a whore” situations….and I fucking love it…especially cuz her I want to segregate and separate her South African pussy from her South African ass with my tongue like it was the Apartheid….but I’d have to run her thru a few AIDS tests, I’m dumb and I’ve made mistakes cuz I love unprotected sex, but I don’t usually play against the odds like Africa Aids Rate intentionally when given the option…When I hear Africa, I try to blindly shove my dick in the box no matter how nice the box is decorated, if you know what I mean…

Here are the pics she got so shy about….They are pretty amazing…I’m sold…forget what I said about running her through AIDS tests…cuz I’m ready to roll, HIV or not, I’ve lived a long enough life of misery…this would be a good finisher….enjoy.

As far as I’m concerned, this is what fashion modeling is all about…bitches getting out of clothes….amazing…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2010

24

Nov

Kelly Brook’s Cameltoe for Funny or Die of the Day

It hate Funny or Die. I Hate linking Funny or Die. I hate the marketing manager at Funny or Die. I don’t find Funny or Die funny. I can’t stand Will Farrell or Ricky Bobby or anyone else in their stupid crew and I find their jokes cheap, obvious, idiotic and only interesting because they case celebs to be in them. It is like Saturday Night Live the next generation, when the next generation should have died with Jim Belushi, instead of being this latch on bottom feeding show filled with people embarrassing themselves cuz they aren’t funny.

That said, here is Kelly Brook in some cameltoe sketch I assume I’ll hear people quoting, because people are just as stupid as Funny or Die, I mean that is why it exists.

I’m doing it for Kelly Brook’s tits and not for the cheap cameltoe joke.

I just can’t believe I get flagged a porn site by advertisers, when the real smut is going on next to the AXE banners on here.

I hate myself for promoting these cocksuckers.

But here it is anyway.

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2010

24

Nov

Kim Kardashian is the Human Bathroom of the Day

This is actually funny to me. It is rare that this celebrity bullshit I write about every day ever makes me laugh… There’s just not campaign that makes more sense for a celebrity to be endorsing…you know it is so appropriate that you’d expect to see this on some stupid sketch comedy shot and not in real life…it is one of those things you’d think she’d have turned down and fired her agent for the sick joke when it landed on her desk and read “you will be promoting the Charmin toilet paper’s Bathroom” campaign, in a “come on guys, the jokes getting old” kinda way, you know because she is a fucking bathroom at least when she’s filming a sex tape….and that she’s had more black man urine on her than the toilets at Cook County Jail or pretty much all prisons combined for that matter…cuz getting pissed on is just the kind of degrading she loves…not that I am against pissing on girls…I’ve done it many fucking times….but I’ve never been able to organize a special event sponsored by a toilet paper company to draw attention to the fact that bitch likes being pissed on…I’m not a celebrity with big budgets and I don’t now corporations down to co-brand with a porn slut in unprotected sex videis, but I have pointed and laughed at the slut when introducing her to my friends.

Either way, this is one of those you can’t write jokes better than this, I mean unless you’re the marketing exec who snuck this one in without anyone noticing…good work….she just looks like she feels so at home….like she’s finally found her calling….like she’s one step closer to be an honorary toilet from the toilet paper people…It is like winning the World Series or more appropriate Superbowl in her field…get it? Yeah, I know I’m a genius…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian