DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Ozempic Katy Perry Finds the Only Audience Who Likes Her of the Day

Rita Ora in a Bikini of the Day

Jenna Ortega’s Ceiling Eyes Beetlejuice Promo Erotica of the Day

Dua Lipa in a Bikini with Balloons of the Day

Julianne Hough is a Mormon Gone Wild in a Tight Dress of the Day

2010

Aug

My New Gilfriend is Singing to Me of the Day

4 Comments »

I have a new crush and it is on this crazy fucking bitch from Youtube who I guess thinks she’s some kind of performing artist, but who I think has to be a comedian, because after spending the last 3 days watching everyone of her youtube videos on repeat, I’ve come to the conclusion that it has to be a joke, but I could be wrong…maybe that’s just what she wants me to think it is….cuz I know after polluting myself with this amazingness obsessively…I can’t really put two coherent thoughts together….I just know I want to buy her CD and I want to buy it now…she’s brainwashed me and that’s why I wrote her this email:

I am really liking your videos and wanted to know how I could book you to play my party. It is taking place in my bedroom and the stage is my face…You are talent.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

She hasn’t answered yet…but not enough people know this talent and even if my heart is broken by her neglect…at least she’s left me the gift of song to touch my soul and she can’t take that away from me…

Posted in:Internet Insanity

2010

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

5 Comments »

I am recovering from an all day cybersex session with some slutty mom who was into anal. Constant dirty messages about feeling my cum drip out of her and all over her pussy is enough to make the most focused man emotionally drained and confused….and alone….

So here are my stepLINKS….

Bitches Go Crazy For McNuggets: THE MOVIE!
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Justin Beiber Shooting a Sex Tape with Kim Kardashian
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Devon Aoki Is An Asian Slut And Here Are Hot Pics
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Because Easy Bitches Are All the Rage
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Karissa Shannon and Kristina Shannon Sisterly Make Out Session
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Jenn Sterger And The 20 Skankiest Women in Sports
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Victoria Silvstead in a Bikini Just Because
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Megan Fox Flashing Her Pubes
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Elisabetta Canalis is Looking Good as Always
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Sammi and Her Self Pics
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Ashley is a Sexy Cowgirl
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We Call This One “Dramatic Exit of the Century”s
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Kelly Brook in See Thru Lingerie
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Oiling Up Her Massive Rack
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Brooklyn Deck is Fine By Me
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The Rolling Dutchman – VIDEO
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Israeli Army Babes
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Meet Joanna Shari
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Kelly Brook Playboy Party In See Through Lingerie
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Get a Load of Maya
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Only Verind White of Earth, Wind and Fire Would Pull This Off
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Some Irina Shayk is Always Nice
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Cehck Out Pan Rodriguez
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Little Bit of Rihanna
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19 Year Old Hottie and the Fucking Machines
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Behind the Scenes With Supermodels – VIDEO
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Celeb Sluts Hit a Cocktail Party
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Some Glamour Club Sluts
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Pic Dump of the Day
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Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s New Victoria’s Secret Lingerie Photos Are Incredible
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The 30 Funniest WiFi Network Names
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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And More Victoria Silvstead
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And That’s Why You Don’t Let Idiots Play With Sharp Blades and Knives
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Striptease of the Day
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Stacy Keibler Cleavage and Legs
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Welcome to Lesbian School – VIDEO
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50 Things to Do Before You Die
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Man Admits To Having Sex With Dead Body In Trunk, Denies Murder…Wait, What?
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Follow Me!
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

Aug

Candice Swanpoel Ass at the Incredible Bra Launch of the Day

2 Comments »

Candice Swanpoel is wearing the best outfit I think any model has ever worn to one of these bullshit store launches….seriously….normally these bitches don’t take this shit seriously and show up in jeans..but this bitch decided to wear a serious fucking outfit and that’s pretty much all I have to say about that cuz really what else needs to be said…especially from a drunken idiot who has no busines having an opinion anyway….

Other bitches were at the event too, but really who cares about them…

Posted in:Candice Swanpoel|Victoria's Secret

2010

Aug

Kelly Brook’s Nude Picture in Playboy of the Day

3 Comments »

I love that Playboy is pushing that you will soon be able to see Kelly Brook nude in Playboy…when every perverted idiot with the internet knows that Kelly Brook has been nude a lot in her career prior to 3 months ago when the Pirhana 3D team started pushing her hard….it’s like all you need is some google and you will see that getting naked for money WAS her career….Her natural huge tits were the key to her success, even if it took her decades to get to this level, and it’s really not like seeing Miley Cyrus or some shit in Playboy….but I guess my philosophy of celebrating bitches getting naked means I gotta get excited about the shit….

So while you wait for Playboy to drop, you should check out these naked in Pirhana 3D pics that were released since they are the people behind her recent celebrity….or you could just you use google you can find more naked pics of her cuz she was a topless for money kinda slut long before playboy….

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2010

Aug

Lisa Catara’s Ass and Titties in Some Shit Called Charile Valentine of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know who Lisa Catara and that is probably why she is getting naked in movies where she plays some pig who fucks really old dudes in movies and I guess that is a fetish to some people, mainly people who probably don’t know how to watch this clip, because they are too busy stroked in a wheel chair or dead, or girls with grandaddy issues….you know grandpa didn’t hug her enough kinda bullshit….

Posted in:Lisa Catara

2010

Aug

stepNEWS of the Day

No Comments »

I’ve been sucking today. They are filming a movie outside my house and I got models all over the fucking place. It must be for a hip hop video, you know keeping things gutter with big booty bitches in thongs, but I don’t really care what it is for…I’m loving it…like the fat bitch from Ohio loves Mcdonalds….and figure I deserve lazy staring at fat asses too…

Here is the news….

OH Woman Fights McDonald’s Employees Over McNuggets

A Toledo, Ohio woman was told that she couldn’t order Chicken McNuggets because the McDonald’s was serving breakfast, so she started fighting employees at the drive-thru window and was arrested for vandalism

Drunk Driver Drives Himself to Jail
James Hubble, Ohio man called 911 to tell the Lorain County Sheriff’s Office to let them know that he was driving drunk and wanted to turn himself in rather than wait for officers to come get him at the roadside and drove to the Sheriff’s Office.

Stripper Drags Man to Death Under Car
An Ohio stripper dragged a man to his death in Ohio while driving

PA Woman Uses Dirty Diaper in Road Rage

A Western Pennsylvania woman threw a diaper at another car and then smeared it across the back window in a fit or road rage

Caught on Tape: MBTA Attack in Dudley

Cop gets a cane to the head

Posted in:stepNEWS

2010

Aug

Scarlett Fay in her Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

Here is the pornstar who is playing Lohan in the the Lohan porno…the same girl who is less damaged than Lohan and getting fucked as Lohan cuz being Lohan is an easy thing to mock…and here she is on her quest to fame as this is the peak of her bullshit porno career…..and she’s wearing a bikini in staged bikini pictures and I have no idea why…but I guess it has to do with asshole paparazzi agencies having nothing better to take pictures of than this insignificant twat who I think I want have dinner with and discuss how many abortions she’s had, cuz that’s real life porn to me…

To see the rest of the pictures – Follow This Link
GO

Posted in:Scarlett Fay

2010

Aug

Lindsay Lohan’s PR Team Continues Their Hustle of the Day

1 Comment »

I am convinced that Lohan’s team are crafting a strategy to win her an Academy Award. I am convinced the jail and rehab are just tactics to get the bitch in the news and to strike a chord with the public into thinking she’s getting her life together and that the poor girl has a fucked up family and upbringing…..and here she is doing what she can to get it together….but they don’t want their efforts to go unnoticed so every couple of days when she is in lock-up or lockdown or rehab…..they release slutty pics of her and here are some of the latest…

No wait, that’s not Lohan, that’s stills from the Lohan Porno….which is pretty much the same shit only porn chicks are less damaged…..

To see the rest of the pictures – Follow This Link
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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2010

Aug

Breakdancing Granny to Lift Your Spirits of the Day

1 Comment »

This has as much sex appeal as the dancing baby on Aly Mcbeal….no I didn’t ever watch that show cuz I am not a lesbian but here is a video I saw of some old lady, or hipster who dyed her hair grey to look ironic, or maybe she was just some homeless person who found some E or meth outside some afterparty that took place in an alley and the trash on my facebook is going nuts over this – so I figured I’d post this for you as I ride the Montana Fishburne fame….

Posted in:Breakdancing|Granny

2010

Aug

Montana Fishburne Porn Exclusive of the Day

30 Comments »

I was sent this exclusive clip of Montana Fisburne’s Porn Tape everyone is talking about, cuz I am the best site on the internet nobody reads….

The sad truth is that this bitch coulda been a 300 pound hermaphrodite with a rash, acne scars and herpes scabs and this porn woulda still been worth jerking off to.

The complexity of what is happening in this is just too much for me to even grasp. It’s like my pornstars are usually poor rape victims from broken homes/trailer parks and not the daughter of some dude we’ve all seen in movies. It’s like celebrity babies gone wild….

The reason this is so hot, whether this bitch is hot or not, whether you are a racist and think cross breeding is the devil’s work or not, whether seeing Laurence Fishburne with ladyparts is something you’re into or not, is not because it’s some white on black standard porn, it goes deeper than that because she doesn’t have to be doing this. She coulda gone to school, lived off her dad’s money…she coulda got him to pay for a record deal, or a movie deal, or anything…but instead she decided to rebel in a way far more fun than neck tattoos and drug charges….

It’s like when my rich friend asked her dad for 1000 dollars for a coat and he said no so she told him she was gonna strip to scare him into giving her the 1000 dollars….only she never had any plan on stripping…she just said it cuz her dad was easy to manipulate…only this chick did it and instead of stripping, she did porn…..

Now I’ve heard of rich sluts filling the void with dick…but I’ve never seen it in video….especailly not produced porn video….and I think this is gonna inspire a whole lot of unexpected talent in a whole new career path that involves seeing them get fucked…

My dream that one day everyone will have a sex tape for me to jerk off to is slowly coming true…one sex tape at a time…now if only the girl who works at my local pharmacy got up on this…buying hemorrhoid meds would be far more entertaining….

So watch the clip. She is 19 was arrested for prostitution last year…clearly she likes to fuck and knows her worth as a creature with a vagina….and let her inspire, influence and mentor more 19 year olds who haven’t seen the light yet….I’m drunk.

To See The Video, Buy The Video, Find Out More on This Amazingness – Follow This Link
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Posted in:Montana Fishburne