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2010

23

Jul

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Modeling for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

I don’t really have to go in how nice it would be to be a pair of bikini bottoms for a day….especially if that bikini bottom was on the set of some Victoria’s Secret shoot….even if the model vagina are little club sluts with herpes, or if their like Ambrosio and recently ravaged by child birth…shit would be amazing….but unfortunately, that’s not possible and if it was I know I would end up being stuck on the fat chick on the sidelines who doesn’t wax, has an infection and smells like feces cuz she drank the water at the luxury resort they are shooting on…and while I try to make sense of all this here is Ambrosio, hot mom in a bikini, getting paid heavy for the world’s easiest fucking job…to masturbate to….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2010

23

Jul

Mila Kunis Plays with her Mouth of the Day

You can’t take me anywhere cuz I always turn innocent things into sexual things. Whether it is a girl walking down the street, or taking money out of the bank machine, or eating ice cream, or really eating anything for that matter, I can stare at the shit from a certain angle and get hard over the shit….that makes life a lot more fun for me, cuz anywhere I go is a fucking pornset, so seeing these pics of Mila Kunis not trying to turn anyone on, playing with her mouth, like it’s some kind of warm, moist, recepticle for cock and not a body part uses for eating and speaking and throwing up lunch to stay skinny and not built for licking and sucking my dick..you know she’s pretending to be picking at her mouth to make sure there’s no food in her tooth for her scene cuz that would be embarrassing but I know she knows exactly what she’s doing and I’m in love.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Mila Kunis

2010

23

Jul

Shakira Half Naked Ballet of the Day

I don’t know what is going on here – but I assume it’s some kind of photoshoot or video shoot….that I’d say Shakira was too old for…you know half naked ballet, that shit is for 8 year old rich kids and not South American trash that pollutes our music charts and music television and youtube with videos of her having sex with the air that millions of people masturbate too making her appear to be bigger than fucking god…but realize that half naked ballet is in fact not for 8 year olds and the only reason I thought that it was is because of this weird dude I met in the park who tried opening a ballet school and who shortly got arrested because he tried to make it half naked with 8 year olds…

So Shakira may be old, tired and boring as fuck to some, but she is one of these popstars bitches you want to fuck to most, and it doesn’t happen often that one of those is showing off her flexibility in a small and humble tits in a bikini top…so you don’t confuse them for mountains….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Shakira

2010

23

Jul

Paris Hilton Bikini Yacht Jump of the Day

I am sure I am not the first to say this about these pictures…but seriously….why couldn’t this panned out a little differently.

You see, it doesn’t happen very often, but there are times that I look at my computer and wish that I was a shark, and these pictures are one of those times, because there would have been no better ending to this story, if the useless spoiled self involved cunt who has been trying to make a useless cunt comeback, despite being old and boring…..the kind of pussy so broken you take it out back and shoot it in front of the kids so they know what to avoid when they grow old and get faced with pussy of their own…jumped right into razor sharp, hungry, predatorial teeth to shut her up for once and for all…

Unfortunately that didn’t happen….but here she is on her latest publicity stunt of topless tanning and bikinis…cuz it is all she knows…and hopefully motivation for her to expands her skillset cuz it already looks awkward at 30…just imagine when she’s pushing 80….ideally an age she never hits cuz I’d rather her die on her way home from this trip…but you know how rich people are…they live for fucking ever….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2010

23

Jul

Sophie Monk is a Fucking Clown of the Day

I think Sophie Monk has finally accepted her level of talent and may be taking her talent to the place it belongs…the sick kids ward at the hospital…where she dresses like a hobo in oversized torn jeans, puts on a straw hat and a clown nose and juggles for them…unfortuanately I couldn’t get in on the actual pathetic performance of her hanging on to her pride by finding anyone willing to watch to perform for whether it is paying or not…but I did get these pictures of her walking around in part of her costume…..and I also have these words of wisdom for her…cuz as a girl…with a pretty hot body…there will always be dudes willing to watch her perform as long as her performing involves her being half naked…whether in video, on stage, at bachelor parties…she just has to embrace that instead of trying whatever it is she’s been trying and failing at the last few years …

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Sophie Monk

2010

23

Jul

Kathy Lee Gifford Tits of the Day

I try to make it a point to post any pictures that I see of Kathy Lee Gifford because over the last 6 years of doing this site, I’ve had this crazy, immigrant send me emails about her. Sometimes they come in every few months, other times I get them daily for a month then the dude disappears for a long time, but they always make me laugh. Basically, in some broken English, the dude begs me for Kathy Lee breast pictures because Kathy Lee Gifford is “very nice girl look to at” which I guess means he jerks off to her, and if this was 20 years ago, I’m pretty sure we could all relate to that, cuz there was no internet, porn was a physical thing we had to physically hide, and it was an era of improvising, compromise, and substantially easier orgasms cuz cleavage was enough before we all turned into creepy perverts who only get off to throat fucking porn….

So this is for the immigrant reader but on a deeper, more significant level, this is for an era that is long gone, when cumming to cleavage on Morning television was enough, before we turned into sex-crazed perverts.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Kathy Lee Gifford

2010

23

Jul

Halle Berry is Some Accessible Black Pussy of the Day

I don’t know what’s up with this lesbian flannel, weird faced walk Halle Berry is involved in, but I do know that Halle Berry is probably some of the most Accessible black pussy around, so accessible that she might as well not go as her black half, cuz I have a feeling bitches like Kim Kardashian who aren’t even half black are more black than her, but I guess her white side isn’t as marketable…..

She reminds me of those weird black hipster rappers who only date white girls because black girls find them pussy and a disgrace to their heritage in their tight jeans, only the older girl version. I have a feeling that she’s never even had black cock in her but instead was the tool for racists to pretend they weren’t racists…, in a “What are you talking about, I love black women, just yesterday I jerked off to Halle Berry” kind of way….

Here she is doing some lesbian shit in some shorts….which is not all that surprising to me cuz I always had a feeling her husband was some kind of homosexual surrogate that she was keeping around to keep herself on the down low…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Uncategorized

2010

23

Jul

Paris Hilton’s Champagne Shower of the Day

I don’t know who’s bright idea it was to let Paris Hilton put her whore mouth on the biggest bottle of Champagne ever, the same bottle that was passed around the room like it was Paris Hilton’s vagina and this wacked out party of losers who think they are more important than they are was Hollywood cock,

All I know is she’s on some Publicity stunt tour, a few years too late, because like the local hipsters, she’s starting to show her haggard useless age and seeing her party like she’s on college springbreak at 30, is really just pathetic…and I say that as a 40 year old who still dreams about going on college springbreak one day, but the rules are different for creepy dudes….

Either way, here she is in a one piece bathing suit, showing off some shitty tit, making dirty faces, spraying herself in really suggestive stances with a bunch of rich french dudes who look like they’d rather be baking baquette or some shit…and anyway you dice it, this is some kind of cry for attention that I wish would go the fuck away….but the pictures are just too funny to ignore.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2010

22

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

I feel uneasy that somewhere out there someone is jerking off right now, unless of course that someone is an 18 year old girl exploring herself to figure out how to reach orgasm…which makes this whole post pretty fucking obsolete….but that’s ok…so are most things I do

Here are my stepLINKS….

They Are Making a Porn About Lohan Being in Jail! Yes!
GO

And While We’re On the Subject, Lohan’s Entire Family is a Mess
GO

Find Sexy Times Here
GO

And More of Sophie Monk Being Hot
GO

Ranking the Top 25 Hotties of the 2010 ESPYs
GO

Tila Tequila Panty Peek
GO

If You Haven’t Thrown Up Today, This Will Help
GO

FBI ARRESTS MAN BEHIND “SOUTH PARK” DEATH THREATS EN ROUTE TO JOIN TERRORIST GROUP IN UGANDA
GO

Sofee is Hot and That’s All There Is To It
GO

Drunk Sluts Make Regretable Choices – VIDEO
GO

Amy Winehouse Looks Almost Fuckable
GO

HowAwesome Would It Be to Watch Snooki Beat the Shit Out of Heidi Montag?
GO

The Plot Thickens In the Drama of Mel Gibson’s Life
GO

So Bad It’s Almost Funny – VIDEO
GO

Melissa Lauren is Pure Magic
GO

Did Someone Say Swimsuit Issue
GO

Nicole Trunfio Shows Off Her Lovely Nipple
GO

Hayden Panettiere & Vanessa Hudgens Are Your Lesbian Fantasy of the Day
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FINALLY LEGAL
GO

Angelina Jolie is Looking Hot at Comic Con
GO

I Think We Should All Apply For Jobs Working on the TV Show HOUSE Right NOW!
GO

There Are Mel Gibson Texts Now
GO

Molly and Lexi Are Pussy Eating
GO

1930’s Parkour – VIDEO
GO

I Wanna Bang Agyness Deyn
GO

Some Amy Reid
GO

Web Cam Flash of the Day
GO

Nicole Scherzinger Exits Car, Looks Curvy Doing So
GO

Serenity Now: The Movie – VIDEO
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Katy Perry’s Cotton Candy Dream
GO

Commuting Has Never Been This Perverted – VIDEO
GO

Striptease of the Day
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Asia Argento Bikini Pics
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Taya Parker is in Lingerie
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7 summer fashion choices that men should probably avoid
GO

A Little Jessica Rabbit
GO

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FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

22

Jul

Vogue Spain Does a Hot Bridal Supplement with Michelle Ferrara of the Day

It’s unfortunate that when we marry, the women don’t look this good, and if we’re lucky enough that they do, they never stay looking this good for long. The idea of a hot bride is fucking fantasy, cuz that only happens in the movies, or when an older rich guys buys himself one, cuz for the average asshole marriage is when we give up on the fight to stay not married, whether it is fear of lonliness, fear of never finding another girl to have our kids to carry on our legacy, or just because we are whipped….I do hear the sex after marriage is ok for the first 24 hours, but then shit goes down hill, so that’s why I’d rather jerk off to fake brides than my actual bride…who is so far from the person I married…i feel awkward even calling her a bride…cuz she’s more of just a lump of shit who just keeps getting bigger and bigger and stinks worse and worse and the whole thing never looked quite like this hipster in see through American Apparel bodysuit photoshoot….

Posted in:Michelle Ferrara