I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

01

Sep

It is Labor Day of the Day

I am in my weird friends cabin in the woods. I haven’t seen him in a few years because he lives up here all year round and it’s impossible for me to put myself through the kind of abuse being alone in a field does to my mental stability. Every sound in outside I expect to be some crazed murderer or my friend who has been away from people for so long, looming over my cot with an axe only to be never found or reported missing because my remains were fed to the raccoons or some shit.

He does have an internet connection, because when you’re alone in the woods, you clearly need shit to jerk off to and you need a way to stay connected to other people, otherwise you go crazy, like he did when he first moved up here from the city after he went on some hippie kick and found the land we’re standing on for cheap and convenient for his whole being at one with nature bull shit that involved being alone with a drum and a lot of weed where he’d build rock gardens and ponds, and cut trees down all while talking to himself. I remember coming up here when he was first building the cabin and having him look at me with some psycho bright eyes asking if I want to go cut down trees with him, there was really nothing else to do so I went along, drink in hand and dude took out an axe and pointed to one of the trees he called Charlie and gave me an elaborate story about why Charlie has to die, and how Charlie slept with his wife, and went at the tree like a madman screaming out “DIE CHARLIE YOU COCKSUCKER”. It was a weird experience that may not come across as funny, but whatever, that’s where I am, smoking a cigar with the chipmunks, lookin over a lake, all without photoshop, so while I try to figure things out, here’s some pregnancy videos to carry you through the next few hours….

There will be posts, there will be stepLINKS, I got nothing better to do and I’ve had enough of this cocksucker, so get ready for the best damn labor day of your life, while all the other people in North America are out on the beach, fucking sluts and partying with friends, you are on the fuckin’ computer. Loser.

To celebrate that new beginning that is not being allowed to wear white, here are some random shitty pregnancy videos for you, of bitches in labor or on their way to labor. Just because it’s not a fetish to me, doesn’t mean it’s not a fetish for you….

BONUS – THIS ONE IS FUCKING SICK….
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

30

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

I haven’t really figured out what labor day means since I don’t have a job, but I do know that it’s your last weekend to have a big blowout before going back into your highschool senior year you dirty little girl. I can only hope this is the weekend that brings on some solid teenage pregnancy because if I did the math right, you’ll be trying to flush your baby you’ve just given birth to down the toilet at Prom.I realize hot teenage girls don’t read this site, but this is the weekend of dreams and we’re all allowed to have dreams sometimes, even people like me.

Enjoy the weekend not like you actually have jobs, but before you do, visit these links…cuz I made them myself….

The Hottest Fuckin’ Gymnast Out There
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How Shauna Sand Never Won and Oscar is One of Life’s Great Mysteries
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Katie Downes is a Lingerie Street Walker
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What Would YOU do For a Klondike Bar Stupidities…
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I Still Can’t Get Over How Awesome Matthew McConaughey’s Mom Is.
Here is the Stroy Why In Case You Missed It The First Time
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Lynda Carter Camel Toe Throwback
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10 Hottest Topless Movie Scenes
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Sienna Miller’s Hot Homewrecking Ass is Out and About
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Hot or Heavy?
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Some Hate Mail Video
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Fattest Set of Tits Playing Guitar Hero
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Over the Wall Baseball Game
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Look Closely
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Madonna’s Transformation Into a Crazy Old Lady is Almost Complete
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Drunken Segway Fail
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Porno, Porno, Porno!
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The Best Thing You’ll Do All Weekend
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There’s Nothing Like Pranking a Gay Stripper
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Isabeli Fontana is The Hotness
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Denver Cop Shows Reporter Who is Boss
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A Good Women Knows Her Place is in the Kitchen
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Kayden Kross Gets Sexy in the Staircase
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Friday Bird Watching
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Okay, Michael Lohan Needs to Chill The Fuck Out
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What Would Have Happened If…
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God Damn Penny Cruz is Smokin Hot
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Finding a Girl to Fuck Has Never Been Easier
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Bang Me Now Charlize Theron
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David Ducovney is in Rehab. For Sex Addiction
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Amateur Friday
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Steroid Chick Lovers Herself
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Granny Attacks Stripper`
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Some Chola Plays With Herself
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Eva Mendes God Damn!
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Erica is Nude
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Use This to Get Sex This Weekend
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Cristy Hemme is in a Bikini
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Alessandra Ambrosio Officially Ruined Her Vagina
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Man, Some People Will Buy Anything
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Aesthetically Speaking, You Gotta Lose Some Fucking Weight
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Trampoline Dog
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Emma Marilyn is Crazy
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Nice Selection os Keeley Hazell Topless Shots
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Dude Plays The Theme From Zelda on a Theramin
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The Worst Chick on Chick Kiss Ever….Seriously
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

29

Aug

Charlize Theron Promoting Some Movie in Pink While Hayden Panettiere Shows Off her Midget Legs of the Day

Fuck ending the war in Iraq and terrorism, or stopping global warming by driving shitty cars and recycling, accepting others for their differences and all that other shit they want us to do to make the world a better place, the only way I see the world being a nicer place if more girls were made like Charlize Theron, even with her period bloat.

On a side note, the world would be a scary scary place, if more girls were made like Hayden Panettiere. There would be enough stumpy leg muscle to move mountains or at least a couple apartment complexes in a day, but I wouldn’t want to be watching that shit pop a squat and I’m always down to watch a girl squat, just last night I was trying to convince a girl to pee for me it didn’t happen and either will a world filled with Charlizes or Haydens and that’s enough of this stupid post.

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Pink

2008

29

Aug

Drunken Lo from the Hills has a Shitty See Through Shirt On of the Day

I went through a period of time where I acted like an obnoxious artist. I wouldn’t watch movies, TV or read the paper because I didn’t want the outside world influencing me or my writing on the site, the truth was I was just poor, couldn’t afford TV, movies or books and it made for a good excuse to get my wife off my back when she wanted to go on dates or spend time together, not physically off my back because if she was on my back, I’d probably be hospitalized, but you know what I mean. I recently started re-integrating into society by listening to Ryan Seacrest’s weekly top 40 in the pharmacy on the weekend. I just send an hour roaming the aisles and not buying anything because they don’t care if I window shop. Last week, he was interviewing lying whore Montag and they were talking about Lo and Lauren from The Hills and since I will never watch the show I had no idea who she was, until coming across these pictures of her in a shitty see through shirt, being ugly and escorted out by Lauren Conrad. I don’t really know why I am posting this shit, but I’ve gone this far so will finish the job, I guess I’m just doin’ it for the drunk chicks out there, because one day this could be you and your Lauren Conrad will come in the shape of a random dude you don’t know who will have unprotected sex with you making you think you have AIDS and a pregnancy to deal with for the next few months. Oh to be young again.

Posted in:Lauren Conrad|Lo|The Hills

2008

29

Aug

Hilary Duff is Doing a Bad Job Hiding from the Paparazzi of the Day

I find it funny watching Hilary Duff do her best to hide from the paparazzi and uses her drink to cover as much of her face as she can. It reminds me of the time my wife tried to hide on me one night when I had too much to drink and was in the mood to take my rage out on her. She ran into the kitchen and hid behind the fridge, only she didn’t really think it through because her ass was stickin’ out because she is fat and because our apartment is pretty fuckin’ small and there’s really little options when it comes to hiding. So she ended up running outside as fast as her legs could support the weight of her and hid behind a mailbox, not realizing she was fatter than the mailbox and I could pretty much see half of her. It was one of those lap dogs barking insanely because it thinks it’s a big dog situation and not just because my wife is a dog. By the time I got to her I was laughing too hard to really bother scaring her some more, and we went back upstairs, her out of breath, me happy I got a good laugh, holdin hands and that’s probably one of the more romantic moments we’ve shared.

Either way, here’s Hilary Duff trying to fool us.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

29

Aug

Samaire Armstrong in a Cleavage Vest of the Day

I used to watch the OC with my friend who sounds like Barney from The Flinstones when he talks. He was this 40 year old pervert who was on welfare and who would always be done to go to the college parties and was the only member of my OC watching parties because like I mentioned before was a good way to talk to 18 year old girls who would otherwise be disgusted with us. He was crazy about this bitch, he thought she was the hottest fuckin’ piece and it provided countless “who’s hotter” arguments that reminded me of virgins getting together on Saturday nights to watch their favorite movies and judge which girls they would marry, when in reality they’d pounce on even the fattest chick willing to take her extra large panties off for them, if they weren’t too shy, scared and embarrassed of pretty much everything. I didn’t really get the appeal, but I do get the cleavage vest and I figured it was worth posting because I doubt anyone else in their right mind will because these pictures fucking suck.

Posted in:Cleavage Vest|Samaire Armstrong

2008

29

Aug

Pam Anderson is Dressed In Tight White Pants of the Day

Pam Anderson is wearing all white like the virgin she wishes she was, because if she was a virgin she wouldn’t be dying of hepatitis. Despite lookin like a ravaged ex porn star with a major drug addiction, no money and skin that has enough cum embedded in the hard to reach ance scars and wrinkles that sneezing on a chick can get her pregnant, she still has a pretty hot body, if you’re into skinny girls with big fat tits, which pretty much everyone is, even if shit is on someone who looks old enough to be your grandmother, which is all part of the reason I liked working my orderly job at the old folks home, those bitches were so frail and horny that if you put the catheter in proper they’d gasp in pleasure, something that gave me lots of masturbation content, kinda like Pam Anderson has done for you, pretty much making her a modern day hero in your life, so enjoy.

Posted in:Pam Anderson|Tight Jeans|Virgin

2008

29

Aug

Sophie Monk Shows Off Her Legs in Shorts of the Day

Sophie Monk’s wearing shorts, I guess she’s slowly trying to get sluttier and sluttier because we all know that girls who wear anything above the knees are just asking to get fucked, it’s been a key defense in rape cases for decades, and the reason she is doing it is because her self esteem was raped when her boyfriend left her for Paris Hilton, that’s kinda like when your favorite stripper gets mad at you for getting a lap dance with the old fat chick no one in their right mind wants because she leaves shit stains on your freshly pressed khakis or some shit. It’s going from good to bad, leaving the good thinking they are worse than the bad and when the bad is Paris Hilton shit’s detrimental to your mental health, at least that’s what I am thinking. It’s kind of the way every guy feels when they find out that I banged their girlfriend at some point in their life, they feel like something is wrong with them for dating something that got with me and it always gives me a laugh because I know it true and when you get over the truth hurting bullshit, you realize that in the end you still got laid, and that’s a whole lot more rewarding than people thinking you’re disgusting.

Posted in:Legs|Shorts|Sophie Monk

2008

29

Aug

Katie Lohman is in Her Bikini for Charity of the Day

Katie Lohman is some kind of actress and I don’t know whether she has been in Playboy but I assume that’s the next step for her because it looks like up until this point, her biggest movie role was in a National Lampoon straight to video movie called Dorm Daze. I just read her bio and the biggest mistake of her career was that her mother didn’t let her join the Mickey Mouse Club show that she got casted for because her mother thought it would be more important to get a shitty high school education at a public school instead of one by the very same tutors who made Britney Spears the academic that she is. The reality is that she would have been lined up with Timberlake, Aguilera and all the other Mickey Mouse club trash with a lot of money, instead of struggling for attention in a bikini at some charity event last week. I guess who really cares, but it’s one of those opportunities Eminem told me about in the movie 8 mile and I guess a desperate girl is a lot more appealing than an established one, like just the other day I got to talking to some hot slut who just had her phone and purse stolen and was crying and she hugged me in her moment of despair and as her firm tits pressed against me, I realized that I could have totally banged her, so next week’s goal is to try to steal as many purses as fucking possible from as many hot chicks as possible only to move in on them like the shark that I wish I was. Next week’s reality is that I will be here sitting on the shit smelling couch like I always do, but I think it’s nice to dream sometimes.

Posted in:Bikini|Charity|Katie Lohman

2008

29

Aug

Kellie Pickler’s Big Fake Tits Sign a Pool Table of the Day

Kellie Pickler, like VIda Guerra got a set of fake tits with the little money she made at American Idol and I guess that makes her the hottest girl in the town of 50 people she’s from. She’ll be lucky enough to marry the farmer who had the biggest output last season who lives in luxury compared to his neighbors because he has running water in the shack he lives in.

I guess as much as I make fun of Pickler for being a retard, she was probably the hottest thing to ride her mule through American Idol and despite having a relationship so close to her grandfather cuz her parents were deadbeats or died in a farming accident, that he even shaves her lil coochie for her, which seems creepy to us city folk, but where they are from is normal since she’s not his actual daughter and playing with your daughter’s coochie would cross the incest line from their backwoods community, but laying with your grand daughter’s coochie is ok, but in his defense he was the best damn sheep shearer in the county.

What I am trying to say is that she sings country and lives country and that’s something a lot more commendable than whatever the fuck Jessica Simpson is doing. Here are her big new tits while she signs some kind of pool table, god knows why, but who really cares, just look at her tits.

Posted in:Fake Tits|Kellie Pickler