I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

06

Dec

I am – Alessandra Ambrosio’s Legs of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio leaving somewhere with her hot legs, because I like models, but models don’t seem to like me. Everytime I try to chat up the hot girls at the bar, I either sabotage getting them naked by insulting them in the first minute befeore winning them over, or because they don’t like the way I look and think I’m a creep, or at least tell me to get the fuck away and call me a creep.

What they don’t know is that my pet peeave is being called a creep , because I think I’m pretty wholesome, but then i realize i look like a pervert, I am ratty as fuck and I spend my days lookin’ and writing about tits or harassing chicks on facebook, i’ve got about 10 rubber vaginas sprawled out around my computer because some company sent them up for me to do a giveaway on the site but I couldn’t come to terms with seeing them go, because it’s the closest thing to vagina in this apartment, since my wife’s is burried and scary. So even though I don’t use them, adding them to my equation definitely could give people the wrong idea about me, or maybe I just gotta come to terms with the fact that I am a creep, then it won’t bother me so much…

Either way, here’s them legs to creep on.


Related Posts:

Alessandra Ambrosio in Some Bathing Suit on the Runway
Alessandra Ambrosio Wants Peace…And So Do It (of Her) – Yeah, I’m Funny, So What!?
Alessandra Ambrosio with Ana Beatriz Baros
Alessandra Ambrosio Tongue Kissing a Dude

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

06

Dec

I am – Hayden Panettiere in a Period Dress of the Day

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A day isn’t a day without a little Hayden, not that there’s such thing as a little Hayden, more of a Short Hayden or a Boxy Hayden or Circus Performing Hayden or a Dancing Monkey Hayden or Big Hayden Arms and Big Hayden Back and Big Hayden Legs, or a Construction Working Hayden or a Wrestling Hayden or a Mini-Fridge all the College Kids Have Hayden…..but not a little Hayden.

Here are some pictures of Hayden in a mini-skirt for normal people, full length for her, while on her period, because whenever a girl wears red, it’s just strategic dressing for her period not to spill all over the place because no one likes the embarrassment of period stains….

Either way, some bitch emailed me about Jennifer Love Hewitt being fat and I decided to share it with you :

Are you guys retarded? Under what distorted definition do you define the word fat? If you’re thinking BMI, she’s probably underweight. I’d like to see your asses out on the beach with your ‘perfect stomachs.’ The two of you are not fit to shine her shoes.

So This is what I wrote back:

There’s only one of me and her ass is fat, but clearly not as fat as yours, otherwise you wouldn’t get all menstrual on me…

I’m glad you’d like to see me on the beach because I’d like to see you inserting things in your fat ass, maybe a hot dog or a cheeseburger or a slice of pizza, but that’s just because I’m poetic like that and want to see the food that made your ass going back into your ass…you hot little slut.

This is where I’d normally write touch your toes, but since I know you can’t reach, I’ll just say Touch Your Knees baby….touch your knees….

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com


Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere Showing Off Some Leg
Hayden Panettiere Hot for GQ
Hayden Panettiere’s Upskirt Pictures
Hayden Panettiere is Ugly

Posted in:Arms|Mini Skirt|Period|Unsorted

2007

06

Dec

I am – Pink is a Man in a Dress of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Here are some pictures of Pink at the Gas Station, because she’s the kind of girl you’d expect to see pumpin’ gas, and by pumping gas I mean jerking off her massive cock, so seeing her in a dress throws me the fuck off, but I always get a little uncomfortable when I see guys in women’s clothing, I’m old school like that.

Speaking of being thrown the fuck off, I met a group of Jewish girls at a coffee shop the other day and apparently Jewish girls think celebrity bloggers are famous. They are in their 20s and studying in University and they are all girls you’d probably get circumsized and denounce Jesus for, which isn’t saying much because you like any female attention you can get and cutting off your foreskin is a small sacrifice you’re willing to make to get you pussy. Either way, now I’m at all these college parties and answering facebook messages from random hot sluts all fuckin’ day, and realize why the Jews are so successful, they slow the non-Jew down, like some sort of evil trick to help them take over the world.


Related Posts:

Pink Rides Motorcycles of the Day
Pink Doing Lady Things
Pink Likes to Fly
Pink Taking a Pee
Pink’s Nipple Piercing

Posted in:Gas Station|Unsorted

2007

06

Dec

I am – Petra Nemcova is Pretty Boring But Hot of the Day

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I got a thing for Petra Nemcova because I find her hot, but bitch bores the fuck out of me, and since you’re reading this site, she probably bores the fuck out of you. She’s all about saving the fuckin’ world, and nothing annoys me more than girls who think they can change the fuckin’ world, unless they are bottle whores in the club with no panties on dancing on the bar and their idea of changing the world is getting wasted and letting a dirty Mexican Finger bang them in the bathroom.

Either way, Petra’s got charities running and going to charity events and helping poor people, but none of that shit’s helping me. She gets caught in a Tsunami once and her boyfriend who should would have ended up dumping anyway dies, and all of a sudden she’s on this fuckin’ mission to do good because she came so close to dying and realized that God didn’t take her from this earth when she was so close for a reason, or some other self righteous shit that makes her want to do good, when in reality, God doesn’t exist but if he did, he made her in Czech and Czech girls are whores and she should step up her game and live up to that shit instead of this do good because I almost died lie to herself.

I guess the point of all this is to say that I feel like I am always on the verge of death and you don’t see me going door to door asking people for their spare change for poor kids on Christmas, but I probably should because I know a dude who used to be homeless but instead of buying a bottle, he bought a suit and found a name tag in the garbage and decided to go door to door pretending he was a charity organization, instead of being the pissed covered drunk in the subway station, begging for a quater for a coffee. Within a month,dude realized he was onto something and now he’s fuckin’ balling like he was hip hop with a house, car and a charity business he only puts 5% of the money towards the actual cause and the rest in his pocket. Rags to riches motherfucker.


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova Doing Good in Haiti
Petra Nemcova is Cleopatra
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Huge TIt
Petra Nemcova’s Hot Naked Tits

Posted in:Glitters|Unsorted

2007

06

Dec

I am – Carrie Underwood at the Spice Girl Concert of the Day

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I don’t know why I find these pictures funny, but it’s of American Idol superstar Carrie Underwood at the Spice Girls concert and lookin’ like she’s having the time of her life, like she’s just found out Santa is real and not just some drunk pervert at the mall. My theory on this shit is that she was poor trash and had big dreams of becoming a singer like every other girl in her 20s and the Spice Girls in the 90s were a huge influence, Girl Power.

But since the Spice Girls or any sane person never rolls through Checotah Oklahoma where she’s from, she never had the chance to see them live. But now that she’s famous, has money and can do anything she wants and this is just another reminder to herself how awesome her life is and she can cross another thing off her poor girl’s list of dreams and that must feel good, as we all sit in front of computers hating our failed attempt at ours. But the reality is that I am living the dream, I’m fuckin’ hung over right now, drank my face off til 5 am and it’s pretty amazing, it makes me realize that I’ve made it.

Either way, I am one step ahead of this Underwood slut because I went to the Spice Girls concert years ago because my wife won tickets on some radio contest and I had to bring the stepgirls because my wife is too fat for public places and I figured it’d be a good spot to get new pussy, but everyone in the place was 12 and it turned out to be a good place to make friends with sex offenders…

BONUS – Victoria Beckham’s Retarded Tits in a Stupid Gold Outfit because You’re into Retards, They Don’t Tell You That You’re Stupid Like All the Other Girls…


Related Posts:

Carrie Underwood at the AMAs
Carrie Underwood Wears Shorts
Reba McEntire’s Old Country Tits

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

05

Dec

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I am going out drinking, because I learned that drinking was a good cure to depression, because alcohol may lead to depression, but that’s only if you stop drinking. The problem with going out drinking in this city in winter is that there’s about 2 feet of fuckin’ snow and I’ll have to take the dog sled. Unfortunately, all our dogs died because my wife was hungry. I don’t know what I am talking about, but I do know that winter is for assholes and for some reason I am in the middle of it and that depresses me until I am too drunk to realize where I am. That’s all I have to say about that, because it was a whole lot of rambling about nothing and now I am embarrassed because I am shy.

Here are a whole lot of links that you’ll want to click on because you got nothing better to do…

Shauna Sand at the Bus Stop Lookin’ Classy as a Teenage Runaway Whore
GO

Dave Chapelle in London Being Funny….
GO

Kristen Bell’s Complex Magazine Photoshoot Ass and Interview Because We Care What She Thinks…
GO

Scarlett Johannson’s Sueing Over Her Nose
GO

How About a Little Gisele Upskirt Action
GO

Is Carmen Electra Still Banging? I’m Going With Yes…
GO

This Chinese Waitress was Born With Her Feets Backwards and Shit Makes Me a Little Uncomfortable…
GO

Big and Gross Booty Shake Video
GO

Joe Simpson Won’t Let Ashlee’s Bi-Sexual Boyfriend Come Home for X-Mas….Because Christians Don’t Do Gay…But Gays Do….
GO

Some Spice Girls Reunion Pictures Because I Like Old Sluts in Tight Clothes…
GO

Dance Revolution Kills a Fat Dude Video
GO

Some Rocker Puking On Stage
GO

Beyonce’s Got a Personal Umbrella Holder…While Rihanna’s Got Jay-Z Under Her Umbrella….
GO

Watch Some Midget Boxing Because Shit’s Pretty Funny
GO

Beyonce and Fergie Lesbian Sex Fantasy
GO

Heavy Drinking is Linked to High Sex Partners….I Guess They Didn’t Survey You….Because Your Heavy Drinking is Linked to No Sex Partners….
GO

A Hilary Duff Boring Photoshoot
GO

Some Kid Named Simon Reads Off Yo’ Momma Jokes and It’s FUnny Cuz Dude Reminds Me of You
GO

Dancing Video of the Day Because We Like Dancing
GO

Wet T-Shirt Girls Having a Orgy
GO

Dolly Parton Has an Open Relationship…So There’s Hope for You….Well Not Really…But You Can Pretend
GO

Some Dumb Asian Skank in Her Underwear
GO

Some Funny Hot Lifeguard Prank Video
GO

Russell Simmons Dates Tall Chicks Who Look Good in Bikinis….And Who Aren’t With Him for his Money
GO

Some 50 Cent Doing Cocaine for the Kids Video
GO

Some Fucking Scary South American Gang Pictures Because I’m a Zac Effron
GO

Madonna Wants to Be Called Louise Now
GO

Shakira in a Bikini on a Yacht Video
GO

Watch This Dude’s Celebrity Gossip Video Because You May Laugh….No Promises Though….
GO

Watch Some Shitty Catfight Between a Stripper and a Slut on Oprah’s TV Show Called The Bad Girls Club
GO

Tara Reid Going Crazy in Ed Hardy Clothes, Because They She’s So Hurtin’ She’s Working for Free Clothes
GO

Vanessa Hudgens Thinks Zac Effron is a Fag….I Guess An Insider Tipped Her Off…Because He Was Hiding Shit So Well
GO

Mischa Barton is Cheap and Getting Out of a Cab
GO

Huge Pussy Lips Video Because we Like Pussy
GO

Intense Lesbianism on a Public Beach…
GO

Heather Nicole for Playboy
GO

Amy Winehouse Lookin’ Hot Tits in a Photoshoot
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

A Reader’s Bachelor Party Tit Flash Picture on a School Bus….Because They Are the First and Last Tits He’s Probably Seen…In Person….
GO

What are the Best Cinematic Bikini Scenes…..Poll
GO

Some Shitty Band Who Reads The Site’s Shitty Sounding Show But Get Shitty Lookin’ Girls To Choke Each Other While Dyking Out On Video
GO

Dakota Fanning is the Town Whore You’d Fuck If This Was Thailand
GO

The Lil Wayne Quote of the Day…I Think He Either Admits to Having AIDS or Admits to Using Condoms….Based on the Chicks He Gets With – He Probably Should be Using More Than One….
GO

Listen to Lil Wayne’s Tune Called One Night Only Cuz Teenage Girls Get Wet Over This
GO

This May Be the Next 2 Girls 1 Cup…I Call It One Girl and 1 Shitty Dildo
GO

Drunk Girl Passes Out On the Toilet
GO

How About Some Extreme Anorexia Video Because Skinny is the New Normal….
GO

If you Like Porn…You’ll Love This.
GO

No Girlfriend? This Will Help You Get Sex
GO

This is Where You’ll Find People To Have Sex With
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET:

Some Photobuckey Pussy and Ass
GO

Some Photobucket Girl’s Naked Underwear Pictures
GO

Some Chick in Her Underwear and In the Shower
GO

Some Teenage Lookin’ Mother in Her Bra and Underwear…Possibly Part of the Reason She’s a Teenage Mother
GO

Self Shot Vagina and Ass Pics
GO

Some Girl Showing Off Her Naked Body
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Photobucket Lesbians and Vagina
GO

Some Photobucket Panty Covered Ass
GO

Some Black Girl Thinks Photobucket is a Rap Video
GO

Some Tits and Some Fingering on Photobucket
GO

Some Self Shot Tits
GO

Some Girl Holdin’ Up Her Tits
GO

Hey Sexy Girl – Do You Come Here Often?
GO

Some More Photobucket Tits
GO

Photobucket Girl FIngering
GO

Photobucket Blowjob Pic – Because They Are a Porn Site
GO

FROM THE FORUM:

More Suicide girls
GO

Control – OST
GO

More Frank Sinatra
GO

2 Grinhouse Soundtracks
GO

Another Peachez Video
GO

Aracely In H Magazine
GO

More De La Soul
GO

another I Feel Myself Vid
GO

Snake in the butt video
GO

Thom Yorke solo Music
GO

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

05

Dec

I am – Some Youtube Video of a Girl With a Big Ass Who Got Fucked By Lil’ Wayne of the Day

I am not 100 percent about this shit, but it’s a pretty standard story of a girl who falls on the celebrity penis because she’s a wallet fuckin’ whore who’s got big dreams of going to the top and using her vagina is the easiest way….I’ve heard these stories over and over in my life about girls going crazy of celebrities or DJs who roll through town thinking that they’re the hottest shit out there because the celebrity chose them, which makes for a pretty exciting life if you’re famous, because girls are easily impressed.

I am not too sure if she’s doing this is legit or if Lil’ Wayne actually fucked her or just signed her autograph and they ran with it to do some publicity stunt for her myspace/career/dvd they are pimping, but I can only assume she is trying to get herself famous riding his thunder some how. I guess I gotta give credit where credit is due, because going to YouTube is a lot more interesting that just telling your other wallet fucking friends about your conquest, even if they never happened. I hope the record label sues her, but that’s just because I wish bad things on good people, and by good people I mean trashy fat assed whores.

Posted in:Lil Wayne|Unsorted

2007

05

Dec

I am – Cheryl Tweedy Cole’s Hot Tits Performing of the Day

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Here are some Cheryl Tweedy Cole pictures celebrating AIDS with Elton John, because it seems like gays are all about AIDS, you know with their charities and use of condoms at their huge gay sauna orgies, like they were living in Africa or some shit. Not that I know what happens in Africa or in Gay Orgies, but I have had my share of unprotected sex and spent 3 years thinking I had AIDS and telling girls I had it in hopes of getting some sympathy sex, but it kinda worked against me.

This is the kind of girl who you’d probably be happy getting AIDS from, not because it’s something that you could use to remember that special night for the rest of your life, because slamming this kind of chick would really be a fuckin’ miracle for you, or because anyone’s really worth the suffering, but because of all the free shit you’d get from the Make a Wish Foundation, so in a lot of ways getting AIDS is like winning the lottery.

Gay people generally don’t like me, because whenever I meet them I ask them if they mind if I call them HIV because statistics tell me they’ve got it and I am not good at remembering names, but I am good at remembering people with HIV, but then again, no one really likes me, so it’s probably got nothing to do with the nicknames I give them.

Either way, look at Cheryl Tweedy Cole performing, cuz there’s nothing much hotter than a hot chick on the mic performing, not even AIDS.


Related Posts:

Cheryl Tweedy Cole in a See Through Shirt and Shorts
Cheryl Tweedy Cole in a Bikini
Cheryl Tweedy Cole in a Leopard Print Dress Cuz She’s Wild

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

05

Dec

I am – Reese Witherspoon’s Mom Ass in Yoga Pants of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Reese Witherspoon in her favorite yoga ass hugging pants that every mom with rich husbands, a nanny and weekly hair, nail and massage appointments, who spend their days shopping and working out with their personal trainer they fuck, seem to have, because they are living the dream.

Speaking of dreams, I don’t have dreams when I sleep anymore, I think it’s because they’ve always let me down so my brain just kinda turned that shit off as to not cock tease me with thoughts of things I’ll never have, like hot girls, fast cars, big houses and endless bottles of whiskey….I’d say that Reese Witherspoon probably doesn’t have dreams anymore, because she’s pretty much lived them all out. She’s won the Academy Award, married, had kids with and divorced some teenage girl’s dream cock 10 years ago and now there’s really not much living left for her to do, she’s peaked and it’s all downhill from here and that’s probably pretty depressing, but nothing beats depression like edorphines from chronic working out in hopes of holding onto a career and making dudes wanna fuck her despite her baggage.

The reason I am posting these pictures, is because after having a bunch of kids, her ass is still pretty solid, and for any of you mom’s out there, this could prove to you that your dreams of having a decent mom ass are possible, and to the dad’s out there, you can realize that your dreams of your wife having a decent mom ass are also possible, your wife’s just too lazy to get off her fat ass to make it worth fuckin’ again, except for when you are really horny and tired of jerking off. I guess the lesson of the day is that anything is possible, if you put your mind to it. I should write kid’s books.

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Related Posts:

Reese Witherspoon is a Mom in a Bikini
Reese Witherspoon’s Tight Black Pants
Reese Witherspoon’s Tight Black Pants Again
Reese Witherspoon’s Scratchin’ Her Ass

Posted in:Unsorted|Yoga Pants

2007

05

Dec

I am – Megan Fox Gets Coffee With Her Lame Boyfriend of the Day

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I am posting these pictures of Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green to make you hate yourself more than you already do. I know deep down inside you actually think that you’re so much cooler than this Brian Austin Green motherfucker, and everytime you see this pictures you tell yourself that you are and that you have a chance. But the reality is that he’s slamming the shit out of the girl you spend your days jerking off too, it’s not really your fault though, you just have a thing for the Transformers movie and just can’t seem to get enough.

Speaking of hating yourself, here’s an email one of my many many many 6 readers sent in and I laughed and told him he should take over the site, because let’s face it, I pretty much suck.

Dear Mr. Stepfather,

I suddenly realized this morning that like you, I am a worthless unemployed piece of shit. What made me realize it was that I woke up this morning and my first thought (after pussy of course) was your website. I’m 48 years old, no job and depend on my wife to support me while I sit here drinking beer and looking at your worthless crappy website.

I don’t know what drove me to this, I used to be a manager at a major corporation (not McDonalds) with some good goals in life and had a future. I just happened across your shitty website one day and now here I am, unbathed, unshaven, drinking beer, scratching my balls and looking at porn. My wife is ready to divorce me, the kids hate me and the damn dogs are biting me (probably because I’m eating their food). I guess I need to find some sort of rehab (HA,HA–NOT)! Maybe this is what retirement is all about.

Well anyway, keep up the good work. I would like to see a few more good porn vids and fewer celeb bullshit though. I’m trying to spice up my own sex life since my wife is no longer involved in it thanks to you. You owe me dude!

Sincerely

At least he’s doin’ better than you…..


Related Posts:

Megan Fox Has Hard Nipples
Megan Fox Lookin Good in Red
Megan Fox and Her Boyfriend
Megan Fox in a Pink Dress

Posted in:Cuddles|Unsorted