I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2007

18

Jul

I am – Kimberly Stewart’s Skirt Fights the Wind of the Day

18 Comments »

Kimberly Stewart

I used to hate Kimberly Stewart, but as I thought about her more I realized she’s not so bad. Yeah, she is just another Hollywood socialite, but she accepts that. I never see her going to “acting� classes, or here about her putting out her new album, or going to work with AIDS babies in Africa, or becoming a “designer� and starting some bullshit clothing line she plans to sell for way more then it’s worth, cause we all know she’s really not a designer.

Kimberly Stewart accepts that her father is a rich old bastard, and that she just gets to run around shopping and going to night clubs, and be a famous idiot while the rest of us work all day and hate our lives. I know she modeled for a bit, but I mean that doesn’t count because you just get to be pretty and sit there. She knows she’s pretty much useless, but doesn’t try to be something she’s not and in a round about way, that shows her confidence just to be herself and be comfortable with it. I respect that.

There’s a lot to be said for confidence. I was out of town with my ex-boyfriend not long ago, and was hanging out at this bar when this midget came up to me and started running all this game and trying to take me home. He was short obviously, but pretty cute. When it came down to it. The thing that amazed me out of all of this was this dude had more confidence and skill with ladies then almost any other guy I have met, and he was a fucking midget for god sakes.

He was so comfortable and accepting of the fact that he was what he was, that after talking to him for 5 minutes, I almost forgot my initial thought path of wanting to see him wrestle in a ring. If I hadn’t have been with boy friend that night, I prolly would have gone home with him. What can I say? I would have liked to fuck a midget.


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I am – Kimberly Stewart’s Cleavage of the Day
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Posted in:Kimberly Stewart|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

18

Jul

I am – Kimberly Stewart's Skirt Fights the Wind of the Day

No Comments »

Kimberly Stewart

I used to hate Kimberly Stewart, but as I thought about her more I realized she’s not so bad. Yeah, she is just another Hollywood socialite, but she accepts that. I never see her going to “acting” classes, or here about her putting out her new album, or going to work with AIDS babies in Africa, or becoming a “designer” and starting some bullshit clothing line she plans to sell for way more then it’s worth, cause we all know she’s really not a designer.

Kimberly Stewart accepts that her father is a rich old bastard, and that she just gets to run around shopping and going to night clubs, and be a famous idiot while the rest of us work all day and hate our lives. I know she modeled for a bit, but I mean that doesn’t count because you just get to be pretty and sit there. She knows she’s pretty much useless, but doesn’t try to be something she’s not and in a round about way, that shows her confidence just to be herself and be comfortable with it. I respect that.

There’s a lot to be said for confidence. I was out of town with my ex-boyfriend not long ago, and was hanging out at this bar when this midget came up to me and started running all this game and trying to take me home. He was short obviously, but pretty cute. When it came down to it. The thing that amazed me out of all of this was this dude had more confidence and skill with ladies then almost any other guy I have met, and he was a fucking midget for god sakes.

He was so comfortable and accepting of the fact that he was what he was, that after talking to him for 5 minutes, I almost forgot my initial thought path of wanting to see him wrestle in a ring. If I hadn’t have been with boy friend that night, I prolly would have gone home with him. What can I say? I would have liked to fuck a midget.


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I am – Kimberly Stewarts Hot Legs and Busted Face of the Day
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Posted in:Kimberly Stewart|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

18

Jul

I am – Dita Von Tease Goes Shopping of the Day

2 Comments »

Dita Von Tease Shopping
Julien, our token gay blogger, sent me this email this morning. And since I think Dita Von Tease is just a whole bunch of (hot) hype, I thought I would post it. It’s so gay I can almost hear his lisp when I read it.

Ok, just because I’m gay doesnt mean I’m going to redecorate your house and take you to Ikea to pick out new plates for your dining room. Choosing paint colors that match your new bedspread is not my idea of a fun Saturday afternoon. I like to spend my Saturdays lying in bed recovering from the fact that I came home at 8am all sketchy from some loft party that I went to after last call at the bar.

Like last night, some ex-fag hag of mine calls me up because the loser that she was dating realized that he could do better than her. She called me up all weepy and shit, wanting me to come over and talk about her failed relationship. She probably wanted me to hold her for awhile and then take a bubble bath with her to make her feel better.

Look, that was what I did when I was fat in high school and no guys to fuck me. But now I’ m hot and have better things to do with my life. So I made up some lie about being sick and instead went to a strip club where I got a contact lap dance from a hot guy with his initials tattooed on his ass. He was uncut but didn’t have too much foreskin. Hot.

Anyway here are a few pics of Dita Von Teese. Now, like I said, I’m not you the kind of fag who is going to help you with all your clothing issues. But even this is too much. I know she’ s supposed to be some fashion maven but her dress looks like a needlepoint picture that my grandmother had in her kitchen where she and I used to have teaparties. Girl, what the hell you were thinking?

Smooch!

Julien


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Posted in:Dita Von Tease|Unsorted

2007

17

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

4 Comments »

stepLINK July 17/07

I’ve been getting a large amount of junkmail in my e-mail box, a lot of which is people from Nigeria and Slovakesstan and all sorts of other places I have never heard of asking for my bank account information because they want to scam money from me, which I think is hilarious, because I have no money and if they were any good at their scams they find someone who did. I keep replying to all of them in hopes that I can string them along for a little bit and post the emails here for all 4 of us to laugh at, but no such luck yet.

I’ve developed this whole story line where I work for a charity and I’m a good christian, god fearing women who wants nothing more to help them after hearing their sad, sad, story. Hopefully one of them will bite, and we’ll get to fuck around for a bit. Until then, click these links so my stepfather doesn’t beat me when he comes back from his cruise.


Sexy Jenny McCarthy Video. Yowza!
GO

Bikini car wash
GO <

Victoria Beckham’s show is going to bomb. Maybe she will go back to Britain and we can stop hearing about her.
GO

Sting is going to pay
GO

Lohan’s fans stick up for her. She probably paid them, because she has no real friends.
GO

Kimberly Kane wants you in the bathroom
GO

College Hottie of the Week
GO

For the rich trailer trash
GO

Pranking C-Span
GO

Liza Minelli is a wax figure.
GO

Face plant into the water
GO

Sauna sex is dangerous, just ask David Ducovney
GO

Weeds Season 3 update
GO

Andy dick got knocked the fuck out!!
GO

Paulina Rubio kind of upskirt but not really
GO

Hot chick and some blood in Esquire
GO

Screw tattoos, branding is where it’s at
GO

Little kid fucking with adults…No, not like that
This is filmed in my home city
GO

Video from Jessica Simpson’s fashion show.
GO

Rihanna does paper magazine.
GO

Robin Williams is a comic genius of bad movies.
GO

Salma Hayek screen shots from Dogma
GO

Incredible Picture
GO

Creator of Backstreet Boys and N Sync is going to jail. Serves him right.
GO

All these chicks make more money then you do
GO

Download the new Harry Potter, so you don’t have to steal it from the bookstore.
GO

Lookin’ good sweetheart
GO

And boy, does he have some GREAT rape stories….
GO

Some fatass gets stuck in shallow water
GO

Luke Skywalker is a real mother fucker
GO

Your Daily Piece of Ass
GO

Lord Conrad flippin’ the bird
GO

Pink is fucking weird looking
GO

Jennifer Ellison and Danielle Lloyd bikini pics
GO

Candace Michelle Bikini shoot
GO

Julianne Moore coloured her beautiful red hair blonde. What a tard.
GO

Girl next door washes her car
GO

Drunk girl on a pole
GO

Amanda Harrington in a gold bikini GO

Couple banging in a store window. Prolly fake, but who cares.
GO

Lily Allen shows off her third nipple
GO

Killer bike crash
GO

Ashlee Exposed
GO

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo fully clothed
GO

More Vickie Blows
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Do it like Daddy showed you!
GO

Fastforward blowjobs, because I know you don’t last long anyways GO

Vodka Roulette
GO

Katherine McPhee looking naughty, but sweet.
GO

Megan Fox at some random airport
GO

Amy Winehouse needs to loose some fucking weight
GO

Pam Anderson in a see through dress
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Steroids found in wrestlers system. I am shocked. SHOCKED.
GO

K-Fed spends money he doesn’t even have on a nursery
GO

Eva Longoria eats ice cream. Whoop dee fucking doo.
GO

Ashley Simpson is knocked up and engaged?
GO

Because I know you can’t talk to girls in real life
GO

There’s a first time for everything! Use this to help you get laid.
GO
Send me links or stalk me here.
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

17

Jul

I am – stepMAIL of the Day

1 Comment »

Cute Kid

I got an email from one of our 2 female readers today. Apparently it’s her birthday, and like most moms in the world, everyone pretty much forgot or simply ignored it, including her husband (who is probably cheating on her with her sister right now)

Robin Wrote:

HI!
Today is my birthday, but I’m a mom, so no one gives a crap about me. The picture is my youngest, BTW. He’s training to be a pimp.

That being said, from Jesus Martinez, Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus), our token gay blogger Julien, Harley Houstan, Marie-Eve Martinez and everyone at drunkenstepfather.com, I want to wish you a very, very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Also, when that pimp son of yours finally comes of age, drop us a line, I think Sugar Nell is itching to get back to work.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

17

Jul

I am – Homeless Man and His Dog of the Day

14 Comments »

I’ve been on this real kick lately ragging on homeless people on the site and even in real life. I even threw an orange soda on one (he did kick a car door when panhandling tho). Then Sugar Nell sent me this video and I pretty much hate myself and realize that if, in fact, there is a hell, I am most certainly going to be there. This video made me happy and sad aat the same time, but mostly it just made me hate the world even more then I already do. *hugs and kisses*

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

17

Jul

I am – Carmen Electra Being Hot and Walking of the Day

2 Comments »

Carmen Electra

Remember when that rumor was going around that Carmen Electra and Joan Jett were having some sort of torrid lesbian love affair? Guys around America were rejoicing and jerking off in unison over just thinking about them together, even though they forget the fact that one more lesbian is one less women they will get to sleep with.
There was all these senior class girls at my school last year going around telling everyone they were lesbians and blah blah blah, even though they would never fuck another chick unless there was some Jock asshole present. I won’t put a number on it, but I am more then convinced that a fair portion of young lesbian and bi-sexual girls out there only do so when there is cameras and guys around because they know it turns guys on, and makes them think guys will like them instead of just fuck them and move on to the next girl. Don’t get me wrong, I know a fair amount of gay girls, and these girls are gayer then gay.

I knew this “gayâ€? girl named Andi a few years back who was a real out-type gay person and always talking about how she was soooo gay, and how she was scared of dick and it was so gross etc, generally just stopping sort of wearing a shirt that said HEY EVERYBODY I’M A BIG LESBO. She was super hott and one of those chicks guys always complained was a waste cause she was gay (which, guys, is total bullshit, asshole attitude, btw).

Anyways, Andi ended up moving to another city, and low and behold not only did I find out that Andi liked to fuck guys, but fucked half my roster of male friends in the short period she lived in the city. For a girl who claimed to hate cock so much, she sure fukking swallowed a lot of it. The funniest part is the way she played all those losers and made them think they were special and the only guy she had ever fucked and it was some special moment between a lesbian and a straight guy or something. Guys will believe anything, so long as it will get them laid. Sorry.


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Posted in:Carmen Electra|Unsorted

2007

17

Jul

I am – Tara Reid in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Tara Reid Bikini

A while back I went to a bar and met a hot euro-trash guy who said he was from Monaco. I was mix’n Xanax with liquor (as i usually do). He tells me he is an art-dealer, which means he launders money. And this is where it all goes to SLUT…

“…. suddenly inside Kama Sutra theme apartment… art guy doing lines with new Indian guy… shivering in panties in the bathtub as water runs… art guy can’t get it up…. art guy crying… waking up naked in a silk canopy bed next to Indian guy…. sensing i had not had sex but had been groped in my sleep… weird bruises in tender places… realizing I was much classier when I was as a hooker…” In my book, I didn’t truly become a whore until I stopped charging: being a hooker was a business, being an irresponsible slut was being a whore.

Here is Tara Reid, old-school Slut, giving it to a football in Malibu yesterday. She’s on one of her clean-up kicks and looking good (except her busted lypo abs). But her hot streaks always end the same way: 20 lbs of beer bloat, botched plastic surgery, and a boob slip. Until then, enjoy these.

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:Big Tits|Bikini|Slut|Tara Reid|Unsorted

2007

17

Jul

I am – Kirsten Dunst is a Drunken, Braless, Mess of the Day

5 Comments »

Kirsten Dunst

The more I write about rich people, the less I understand them, I swear to fucking god. My mom always tells me that you can’t understand someone until you walk around in their shoes for awhile, but if you have never had a pair of shoes, and don’t know what its like to walk in shoes in the first place, well, I think you see what I’m getting at.

The only thing worse then a rich person who walks around with ridiculous luxuries is one who try’s way to god damned hard to be like common people. This bitch is a millionaire, she was in Interview with a Vampire when she was eleven and got to kiss Brad Pitt. She probably has more money then you and your entire family will ever make until you die.

I don’t understand those supposedly crazy rich homeless guys either, and to be honest, I think that shit is all a myth. Every town I have ever lived in has some some old wives talk about Johnny the millionaire who gave it all up to live on the street. Why, honestly why, would some rich asshole give up everything he owns to live on the street, eat what you and I throw away, sleep on concrete etc? You either have rich guys walking around with diamonds on their teeth, or rich people who don’t want to be rich and walk around braless and not showered.

Maybe it’s not myth, maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe a lot of the homeless are some type of supreme intellectual being that understand we don’t need material things to be happy. If that’s the case, next time a homeless person asks me for change, I ain’t giving him shit, and I’m DAMN sure gonna loot his pockets for his ATM card.


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Posted in:Kirsten Dunst|Unsorted

2007

17

Jul

I am – Britney Spears Looking Fast and Easy of the Day

6 Comments »

Britney Spears

This is Britney Spears no longer pretending to be something she isn’t. She’s finally looking as fast and easy as a drive-thru McDonalds. I want to say something mean because she used to be a big deal, but now that I can relate to her, I kind of want to stick up for her. Besides, if I defend her, maybe she’ll read this, fall in love with me, and I’ll get to put it where K-Fed did, and even though that’s kind fo gross, it would make a great story to tell at the park.

Speaking of being trash, this weekend I went to this BBQ full of rich kids working on their PhDs. Some dude tried making me feel little with his psycho-babble bullshit butI just smiled and nodded like I didn’t have a clue what he was saying. Then when he wasn’t around, I asked his girlfriend if she wanted to do me. She told me that she most certainly does not, and I said that it was probably for the best because I was too drunk to get it up anyway. I told her if she wanted me to go down on her, though, I’d be over at the park, and sauntered off with a couple brewskis for the road.

When she didn’t show-up, I wasn’t too disappointed. After all, I wasn’t all that much into her because she wasn’t Mexican. Which reminds me, not a single Latina has e-mailed me yet. The only thing I get in my inbox are viruses — which is wierd, because I’m used to catching shit from Sugar Nell, not an e-mail. Anyway, if you’re a Latina who needs to get married to stay in the country, you should e-mail me because I’m lonely and love you.

Harley Houston


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Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted