I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

26

Apr

I am – Tara Reid's a 6 Dollar Whore of the Day

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I guess it’s only natural for a bitch in her 30s, who spent her 20s destroying her body with cock, coke and cristal, to look a little busted and in reality Tara Reid doesn’t look so bad. I have seen worse and slept with worse but none of them were celebrities, not that Tara Reid is worthy of being a celebrity, she hasn’t done much in years but she probably has a bank account big enough to support me for the rest of my life and she’s not fat, she’s still got all her limbs and she has fake tits, making her a perfect candidate to be my next wife after this one has a massive heart attack or whatever fat people die of. My fear is that she has a stroke and I have to push the bitch around in a wheelchair for the next 20 years because I can’t afford a home for her…

Before seeing Tara and her 6 dollars and realizing I should marry her, I was thinking that my meal ticket was to make a stepPORN that I’ll never get to make because I don’t have funding. I even emailed the dude from Vivid and said “Let’s make a stepPORN” and motherfucker never emailed me back because he’s too busy buying celebrity sex tapes off people….

I know Tara Reid would never star in it, but there was once a girl who worked in my neighborhood who I’d see in the bars every night and the next day she’d be wearing the same clothes she had on in the bar. We called her Sticky Vicky and we’d joke that she would pass out drunk outside work at 5 am, wake up in an alley, or in the park or in someone’s front lawn and that she’d brush the dirt off her outfit before heading in for the day. Reality is that she was probably having one night stand after one night stand. I’d pretend that I didn’t know Sticky, and she was probably too drunk to notice me and this went on for 6 months, until one day Sticky Vicky disappeared. I can only assume one of her one night stands became her sugar daddy or maybe that her alcoholism lead her one some crazy herpe ridden bar hopping, park sleeping adventure they write about in the movies, but if Sticky Vicky is out there, I may have work for her just as soon as those fuckers at Vivid hook me up….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Apr

I am – Jordan’s Pregnancy Walk of the Day

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These are supposed to be recent candids of Jordan Katie Price doing pregnant chick things because she is pregnant. There’s really not much hotter than knowing a dude has dropped his seed inside some girl who he probably should have just met at a bar, taken back to her place to slam her with a condom because you don’t know where she’s been to go home to his wife, a respectable woman who raises his kids the next day. This is like a modern day fairy tale, where the bar slut that everyone’s had a piece of because her tits distract them from her washed up whore face and life’s all about experience and not many girls have tits like this to experience, finds love. I think the sentence doesn’t make sense, but you know what I am getting at, people don’t date girls like this, they have them on speed dial for when they are drunk and want some action, but due to life’s wonderful mysteries, some dude decided to marry the bitch. My only explanation is that she gave him STDs or has compromising pictures of him have sex with a man and is bribing her, or maybe dudes on her payroll but I guess that doesn’t change the fact that he came in her.

Pregnancy is such a beautiful thing, even on a bitch who’s probably had dozens of abortions in the last 2-3 years and the gyno said “NO MORE” you’re gonna have to make this one come to term…Maybe that’s why she’s hiding it with her bag, because she’s embarrassed of it. I guess I should stop now. Good thing no one reads this shit….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Apr

I am – Jordan's Pregnancy Walk of the Day

jordan_pregnant8.jpg

These are supposed to be recent candids of Jordan Katie Price doing pregnant chick things because she is pregnant. There’s really not much hotter than knowing a dude has dropped his seed inside some girl who he probably should have just met at a bar, taken back to her place to slam her with a condom because you don’t know where she’s been to go home to his wife, a respectable woman who raises his kids the next day. This is like a modern day fairy tale, where the bar slut that everyone’s had a piece of because her tits distract them from her washed up whore face and life’s all about experience and not many girls have tits like this to experience, finds love. I think the sentence doesn’t make sense, but you know what I am getting at, people don’t date girls like this, they have them on speed dial for when they are drunk and want some action, but due to life’s wonderful mysteries, some dude decided to marry the bitch. My only explanation is that she gave him STDs or has compromising pictures of him have sex with a man and is bribing her, or maybe dudes on her payroll but I guess that doesn’t change the fact that he came in her.

Pregnancy is such a beautiful thing, even on a bitch who’s probably had dozens of abortions in the last 2-3 years and the gyno said “NO MORE” you’re gonna have to make this one come to term…Maybe that’s why she’s hiding it with her bag, because she’s embarrassed of it. I guess I should stop now. Good thing no one reads this shit….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Apr

I am – Britney Spears Panty Shot of the Day

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I just realized that summer is coming and that means that my stepdaughter and her friends are going to be running around outside in short summer dresses that look like lingerie and that always shows off their asses when the right gust of wind comes in or when they bed over to pic something up and that makes me happy. The other thing that makes me happy is that they love to lay in the park suntanning in bikinis because we aren’t the socio-economic class that has country houses or backyards and that’s a good thing too. What’s not a good thing is that it took pics of Britney’s panty covered cunt to remind me of how much I love summer, but I still stand by the fact that I would totally bang her if I had the chance, because that’s just the kind of guy I am. Some people kick them when they are down, I fuck them while they are down, or on all fours or even standing up.

Unfortunately, my penis doesn’t work, so I am not a real threat to anyone. I can’t even masturbate with my blinds open to freak out my neighbors and smile at them on the street the next day knowing that they are fucking sickos for watching some old fat fucker like me jerk off. It’s called reversed embarrassment and it is funny. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Apr

I am – Lindsay Lohan Drunk Partying of the Day…

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I have never seen these pictures of Lohan before because I am pretty sure they didn’t hit the internet yet, even though they are about 4 or 5 months old, but knowing me, they have. But they are of Lohan partying at some hipster bullshit like she tends to do and they were taken by ridiculously UGLY hipster-poser cunt Cory Kennedy.

I guess they landed in my inbox because I am the furthest thing from being a hipster site, which sucks for me because hipsters are the new GAP, and if I could seduce those following losers in American Apparel to read this shit, then maybe I’d get some decent fucking ad campaigns and buy myself a van to live in or a RV to go on the stepTOUR in.

Either way, those shitty pics weren’t enough for a post so I am also posting this new spread in Nylon Magazine of Lohan. In the event you don’t know what Nylon is, it is the bible of hipster lifestyle. The editors of this shit are GODS to these kids ,leading them into a life of half nakedness, cocaine addiction and designer clothes and laziness. I guess that’s why Lohan’s trying so hard to get a piece by sucking every LA hipsters dick. She doesn’t realize that all she’s gotta do to be cool is take a bath with me.

Maybe I am old and jaded, but I kinda liked it when the underbelly of society was left for the underbelly of society and rich kids stayed where rich kids belonged at country clubs and going to high society events and showering. That concludes this post. I just woke up.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Apr

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I am really late on the stepLINKS, I guess I am not really late because I don’t have a fixed schedule, but I feel like I am late because I try to get them up at 8 pm not 4 am, but who really gives a fuck, no one really clicks this shit anyway.

Here are my links, I don’t feel like writing much more than I already have, because my eyes are burning, I am drunk a d typing this with one hand and I just ate expired dairy products that I got for free for my local store just to see what it does to me. I’ll keep you posted. Cuddles.

Here’s a Paris Hilton Shirt For You To Use As A Cum Rag
GO

Some Interview with Some Pornstar Named Monique
GO

FHM 100 Sexiest Women of 2007- Alba Wins!
GO

Britney Spear’s Has Nipples and Shows the World
GO

Little House on the Prairie’s Melissa Glibert’s Nipples
GO

This Band Uses Naked Chicks as Musical Instrument in Their Video
GO

Hilary Duff Stalker Gets Taken Down After Screaming Death Threats In Canada – I Should Do That
GO

Some Jennifer Tilly Tit
GO

Brazilian Girls Wrestling Video
GO

Christina Ricci in Elle Magazine
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Asia is the Next Pussycat Doll
GO

Pam Anderson’s Back in her Baywatch Bathing Suit
GO

The Perez Hilton Show is a Funny Cartoon of Perez Becuase He is a Cunt
GO

Fergie Goes to Rehab
GO

Jessica Alba Sandwich
GO

Sanjaya’s Mom Got Busted with 310 Pot Plants
GO

Here’s a Shitty Magic Trick That I don’t Think Is Magical
GO

Lingerie Music Video
GO

Dancing With Losers Video
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Celine Dion Sings With Elvis and Offends Me
GO

Celebs Lip Sync Stayin Alive, But They Aren’t Real Celebs but Still Makes Me Laugh cuz It’s Lame
GO

Heidi From Laguna Beach’s New Boobs and New Nose
GO

Joe Simpson May Be Britney’s Manager and She’s The Only Celebrity I’d Like To Manage
GO

Some Girl Fight Action
GO

Some Dirty Car Art for You
GO

Pussy Tricks – This Bitch Can Tie Her Pussy Into a Knot…Like Her Actual Fucking Pussy into an Actual Know…INSANE….
GO

Shannon James – May 2007
GO

Rosie Quits The View – Donald Trump Speaks Out
GO

A Whole Lot of Lookin’ Good Sweethearts
GO

Some Bitch Named Sarah Foster Posing
GO

Sienna Miller is Going Dyke with Keira Knightley
GO

Julia Roberts has Always Been Busted
GO

Ashlee Simpson Loves Herself
GO

Japanese Whore in Action
GO

Some Idiot Dancing Like Nobody is Watching
GO

Nudist Pictures- Lots of Nudist Pictures
GO

Anal Tips From A Girl Who Grew To Love It
GO

Perez Gets Sued for 7,000,000 Dollars – Hope This Ends This Cocksucker
GO

PimpMyVag Site Needs Some Fucking Help Badly. IF You Do Help, Please Put My Logo On It
GO

Everyone Loves Carmen from CamWithHer
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Crazy Ass on some Bitch – I think I’ve Posted This Before…
GO

I used to talk to the dude from Found Magazine – He Wants Your Dirty Polaroids
GO

Alec Baldwin’s Daughter Calls Back
GO

Some Dude Got These Cam Whores to Plug His Site Somehow That Was good Enough For Me to Plug His Site Too
GO

Claire Danes Has No Tits
GO

Asian Celeb Posing
GO

Teen Sex Tape That Sucks
GO

The Day Doesn’t Start Without a Photobucket Whore
GO

Same Whore with More Pics
GO

Some Sexy Art for You
GO

Some Chick Naked in Public
GO

Celebrity Fuckfest Video I don’t Get – But It’s Funny
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

25

Apr

I am – stepTV Makes a Drink at a Bar of the Day

I decided that I am going to help you get pussy. The new strategy is for you to go out to bars, clubs, coffee shops, restaurants, in class, or wherever the fuck you meet girls and pretend that you are Jesus Martinez. Ask them if they read celebrity sites, drop the website name, if they know about it, go along with it, if they don’t introduce them to it and tell them that you write the site, that you’re Jesus Martinez and that you want to make them famous. I am pretty sure that it will work on some girls and I don’t mind you using my name. If they email me as a background check, I’ll go along with the lie, since it was my idea to begin with.

The reason I thought of this is because a guy I know went to a store the other day and the staff were reading the site, he told them that he wrote the site and they both gave him their numbers because Internet is the new TV and even though I have 20 readers and 2 people who leave comments, bitches still love the shit and since I can’t take advantage of it, someone should and that someone is you….

Either way, here’s stepSTEVE making a drink behind the bar with some barmaid. Enjoy.

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

25

Apr

I am – Diddy Picks Up Bitches Exclusive of the Day

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I feel like a real celebrity blogger. I got exclusive pics of Diddy being a scum bag because he’s too rich for his own good and can use that to own any slut he comes across and I am pretty sure the motherfucker does. To him the whole world is like that seedy part of town where the street hookers stand at the corner for people like us to do whatever we want to do to them at an affordable price, but in Diddy’s world, his street whores are the hot girls we can’t get with because they like to fuck wallets….I am not saying all women are whores, but people who fuck for money are….Anyway, here’s the story.

Diddy is checking out the people at the three pools at the Setai, exclusive and amazing hotel in Southbeach. there are many wonmen there who sunbath topless–especially the models who typically surroud the pool while lounging on beds. Anyway, Diddy walks by the pool area, then makes a final pass and stops just past our bed. He talks about something with his entourage, all wearing Sean John and all looking very confident and cool, and they all start laughing. Then one of the guyas from his entourage goes to one of the more beautiful girls by the pool who was sunbathing topless. They talk for a little while, she puts her top on and then is escorted by the guy from Diddy’s entourage back to Diddy. I got a pic of them shaking hands and talking. They appear to exchange numbers and when they finish talking the girl walks passed us–looking very excited and Diddy walks away with his entourage laughing up a store.

I am told he regularly rents out the $25 k a night penthouse duplex in the condo tower and hangs out at the Setai frequently.

Hope you enjoy….not great quality bc taken on treo 700p

I even tagged the fucking pics like the tattoo I once gave a girlfriend on her forehead so other guys knew who she belonged to if she ever ran away….I mean…Look at me I am all professional now…Keep sending in Scoops!!!

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

25

Apr

I am – Ali Larter Stickin’ Her Tongue Out of the Day

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I don’t know who Ali Larter is because I am bad at my job, because it really isn’t a job. I am pretty sure you could type this shit into google and you’ll find everything out yourself. It’ll give you something to distract yourself from hating your life for a few minutes, so think of my negligence as a blessing. I am just trying to help like I was your real life stepfather, teaching you how to ride your bike, but if I was your real life stepfather, I probably wouldn’t talk to you, because that’s your real dad’s job, my job’s to fuck your mom.

Anyway, this bitch is stickin’ her tongue out at us, because she’s funny, but not as funny as my friend Rocco who has a tongue fetish and always sticks his tongue out at girls to get them to stick their tongue back, so that he can reference that shit when he gets home and fucks himself, or makes love to himself, I guess the level passion and intensity depends on how tired or drunk he is.

That means that indirectly, this Ali Larter bitch is a fucking pornstar because I am sure my friend Rocco isn’t the only motherfucker out there who gets off to this shit. I kinda love when girls are being total dirty sluts without knowing, like she probably wasn’t thinking that guys will get off to this shit when she did it, she probably thought she was being cute, which I am sure Rocco would probably agree with her and add something like “and her tongue was so thick and purple it drove me nuts” and by nuts he would mean all over his belly. True Story.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

25

Apr

I am – Ali Larter Stickin' Her Tongue Out of the Day

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I don’t know who Ali Larter is because I am bad at my job, because it really isn’t a job. I am pretty sure you could type this shit into google and you’ll find everything out yourself. It’ll give you something to distract yourself from hating your life for a few minutes, so think of my negligence as a blessing. I am just trying to help like I was your real life stepfather, teaching you how to ride your bike, but if I was your real life stepfather, I probably wouldn’t talk to you, because that’s your real dad’s job, my job’s to fuck your mom.

Anyway, this bitch is stickin’ her tongue out at us, because she’s funny, but not as funny as my friend Rocco who has a tongue fetish and always sticks his tongue out at girls to get them to stick their tongue back, so that he can reference that shit when he gets home and fucks himself, or makes love to himself, I guess the level passion and intensity depends on how tired or drunk he is.

That means that indirectly, this Ali Larter bitch is a fucking pornstar because I am sure my friend Rocco isn’t the only motherfucker out there who gets off to this shit. I kinda love when girls are being total dirty sluts without knowing, like she probably wasn’t thinking that guys will get off to this shit when she did it, she probably thought she was being cute, which I am sure Rocco would probably agree with her and add something like “and her tongue was so thick and purple it drove me nuts” and by nuts he would mean all over his belly. True Story.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted