I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

02

Apr

I am – Day Dreamin' of a Bowling Alley Slut of the Day

I have a cold and when I am sick I sometimes feel delusional. Yesterday, I had the hardest time thinking straight, I couldn’t even focus my eyes on anything, everything was just a congested feverish blur. I still feel like fucking shit today and I can’t think of all the great things I wanted to write about because this virus kicked me on my fucking ass. At least I can always daydream….I have recently been daydreaming about starting a drunkenstepfather bowling league or horrible bowlers, so if you are interested we can set one up in your home town too. In planning this huge stepPROJECT, I have been going to the bowling alley to scope out talent. The thing I love about the bowling alley is that it is the best place to find a wife. These bitches may not be the prettiest thing out there, but at least they know how to have a good time. So when I get down and lonely, I like to daydream about the woman who was too busy eating pizza to serve me, but stole my heart none the less to get me through the day….

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

02

Apr

I am – Courtney Love Bikini Pics of the Day

courtney_love_bikini_top.jpg

I wasn’t going to bother posting these because I figured they were older and hat you had your taste of Courtney Love in a bikini last week, but figured why the fuck not.

Everyone likes to dis her for killing her husband for fame, being a drug addict and a bad mother, being fat and then skinny and looking like a trainwreck in a bikini with a nasty flappy fucking weird looking stomach but at least she’s got camel toe.

Point is that my wife can’t even support her own weight for more than 15 minutes without falling and I would love it for her to start doing drugs, start exercising, start starving herself, or anything to make her look more like Courtney Love.

In an ideal world, I wouldn’t slam something that looks as wrecked as this, the shit growing out of her stomach is pretty fucking gross, but ideal worlds don’t exist for me and I have no standards….

That said, Courtney Love is hotter than my wife so stop making fun of her. Asshole.


Posted in:Courtney Love|Unsorted

2007

02

Apr

I am – Nicky Hilton is the Good Lookin’ Sister of the Day…

nicky_hilton_ass13.jpg

I don’t really know if that is technically a true statement, but because of Paris Hilton’s herpes, I am going to say that it is. I guess what I am trying to say is that if you put a pile of shit next to a pile of shit and are asked to choose the prettier pile of shit, you’re going to go with the one that doesn’t have any blood in it. Nicky Hilton is the wholesome sister who probably has a seedy past, because that’s just the way sister’s are but she didn’t do it on camera for all of us to witness, so I am going to have to say that she’s the pile of shit without the blood….

Posted in:Nicky Hilton|Unsorted

2007

02

Apr

I am – Nicky Hilton is the Good Lookin' Sister of the Day…

nicky_hilton_ass13.jpg

I don’t really know if that is technically a true statement, but because of Paris Hilton’s herpes, I am going to say that it is. I guess what I am trying to say is that if you put a pile of shit next to a pile of shit and are asked to choose the prettier pile of shit, you’re going to go with the one that doesn’t have any blood in it. Nicky Hilton is the wholesome sister who probably has a seedy past, because that’s just the way sister’s are but she didn’t do it on camera for all of us to witness, so I am going to have to say that she’s the pile of shit without the blood….

Posted in:Nicky Hilton|Unsorted

2007

02

Apr

I am – Lohan and Kimbo Stewart are Best Friends Who Dress the Same of the Day

lohan_kimbo_friends5.jpg

Lohan and Kimbo Stewart are already such good friends that I have never seen together before that they are already wearing matching outfits like they were 7 and this was fucking kindergarten. They are like watching two seven year olds running around the park in matching outfits only these girls aren’t 7 anymore, the only thing they have in common with the number 7 is that they banged 7 different dude’s last week along, at least Lohan did…

Either way, these girls are like the kind of friends who go to grade school together, then highschool together where they lost their virginity, then college together where they lost it some more, then get married the same year after college to the guys who gave them herpes who happen to be best friends too, then have babies together, they are like attached at the fucking hip, sisters who aren’t sisters, only in Lohan’s case they just met last week….

Speaking of sisters, I always loved when my stepdaughters would pretend that they were twins and wear matching outfits, so when they got older, I used to buy them matching panty sets to wear around the dumpster I call home. I got so into it that I had a different lingerie set for them to wear every day of the week, from the sailer girls to the school girls to the cats…meow. I guess it probably wasn’t the most morally sound thing to do but they didn’t seem to mind, and since they didn’t mind either did I. My wife put all the fun to an end when I tried setting up bath time for them and they complained. Bitches.

Posted in:Kimberly Stewart|Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2007

02

Apr

I am – Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie of the Day

carmen_electra_lingerie4.jpg

The reason you don’t realize how hot these pictures are is because all you see is Carmen Electra dressed like a Mini Van driving mom that is shopping for school lunch supplies for her 3 annoying kids at the local grocery store. What I see is an Agent Provocateur bag and if I wasn’t so lazy, I’d probably be visualizing all the sexy shit that could be in that bag that she will be wearing for her lesbian girlfriend. It’s one of those it’s sexier to leave things to the imagination than to put it all out there situations, even though we all know that’s just something girls like to think, because a spread eagle has always worked for me.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Unsorted

2007

02

Apr

I am – Stormy Daniels Porn Tits of the Day

stormy_daniels_tits.jpg

I figure that here is no better way to start he day than with a southern pornstar and her retarded lookin’ tits. I am feeling like I got hit by a bus, so I haven’t really been able to reflect on all the tits I saw this weekend to try to make this post relevant to my life, but I all I can remember doing is spending the night in the bus station because my wife locked me out and I had no where else to go. There was this girl who was sitting next to me for about 4 hours who I couldn’t help but stare at. I was hoping she was a teenage runaway that I could offer a warm shower and home cooked meal to, as it’s always been a great pick-up line to the homeless bitches I have hooked up with in the past, but realized that I didn’t have a warm shower or home cooked dinner to offer, as I was homeless too.

Anyway, the reason I couldn’t decide if she was hot or not was because she was big. I am talking tall and broad and not obese like my bacon loving wife. I went up to this girls navel and her tits may have been the size of my fucking head, but so were her biceps. Part of me wanted to see her naked, but another part of me knew her dick was bigger than mine….I just hit the bottle and ended up passing out instead of striking up conversation. I guess I am shy like that.

Posted in:Pornstars|Unsorted

2007

01

Apr

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

steplinks.jpg

I got locked out of my apartment 2 days ago and my wife refused to let me back in because she caught me getting girls to do their dishes in their panties on webcam and was pissed off…I told her that seeing a bitch clean up after herself is fucking hot and so foreign to our life because she is too lazy to get off her fat ass. Even if these girls were willing to do it in snow suits I’d still watch them clean because I guess you always want what you can’t have….and thanks to my shitty luck that has followed me along all my life meaning that I got stuck with the shitty end of the stick….

Speakin’ of shitty sticks here are my links – 2 days late….Speaking of 2 days late, its april fools and I didn’t do anything funny, like tell you that I am shutting down the site, or some shit. I am saving that for another day, when I actually do shut down without warning leaving you all with a post telling you I fucking hate what you have done to me, but thanks for all the unsold t-shirts in my closet, you unsupportive cocksucker. Cuddles.

Rihanna at Kid’s Choice Awards
GO

Jamie Lynn Spears Dressed Up a Ready To Fuck
GO

Flesh Flicks College Teen Edition
GO

Israel Girls Without Clothing
GO

Kate Moss Topless
GO

Tara Reid Stuff Magazine Pictures
GO

Jennifer Lopez’s Fat Ass and Party Hats
GO

Christina Ricci Slut of the Day
GO

Claudia Schiffer Falls
GO

Beckham is a Fag and This is The Bitch He Spent the Night Checkin Out Cuz She’s Discreet About Having a Cock
GO

Hungry Pelican Video
GO

Aria Giovanni Naked
GO

Penelope Cruz Topless Compilation
GO

Shoes for your inner slut
GO

Lots of Merkley Chicks
GO

Jenna Jameson Film Stalled Cuz Of Botched Vagina Surgery
GO

Kirsten Dunst in London With Her New Boyfriend
GO

Girls With Her Pants Down Video
GO

Angelica Bell is an Children’s Show Host Stripping for FHM
GO

Swimming Coach Beats his Swimming Daughter
GO

Vida Rap
GO

Some Chick’s Personal Pics
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Pantyhose VIdeo Peru
GO

Pam Anderson Tits
GO

Michelle Branch has a Stalker and It’s Not Me
GO

Another Pantyhose Video Peru
GO

Britney Spears Leaves Rehab Joke
GO

Britney Spears Hits The Town
GO

Kim Does Squats
GO

Walk Like a Supermodel
GO

Is Her Skirt Too Short
GO

Halle Berry Cleavage
GO

Hot Mini Skirt Video
GO

Superhot Chick Sunbathing
GO

Christina Aguilera is an Old Lady
GO

Local Montreal Swingers
GO

Paris Hilton’s Car Gets Repossessed
GO

Gosia Dowbrowolska Nude Clips
GO

11 String Mario Bros for you Virgins
GO

Hot Tit Flashing
GO

Abigail Clancy in GQ Magazine
GO

Bar Refaeli Bikini Pics
GO

Jessica Biel Layin Down Pics
GO

Meredith Vieira Falls on her Head
GO

Bikini Mud Wrestling
GO

Gina Philips Loves Seals
GO

Chick Fight
GO

Carmen Electra Strutting Her Stuff
GO

Lots of Beyonce New Music Video Action
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

30

Mar

I am – Laura Prepon See-Thru Shirt of the Day

laura_prepon_bra_top.jpg

I have this new pickup line for you virgins to try. Go to a club and tell the girl you are trying to sleep with about how awkward you feel being there. When she asks why, tell her that you’ve banged every single girl in the place and they are acting like they don’t know you. She’ll totally fall for it and think that you are amazing in bed because a guy like you can’t get pussy on your looks alone, you must have some real talent. The whole other issue is that girls love UGG boots, they wear these fucking things from no matter what walk of life they are walkin, they don’t care if they go to a party and every girl is in UGGS, if anything it makes them feel like they made the right choice. I am just telling you to be the next UGGS, but instead of keeping their feet warm, you’ll make the hate themselves for letting a guy like you in their junk…

I once knew a guy who banged hundreds of chicks, and he’d always ask girls to be whatever number he was onto, he’d be like “baby, you wanna be number 156” and it would work. Girls didn’t think Herpes when they got with him, they thought, “OMG 155 girls are onto this and I’m not, fuck that noise, I’m trendy too” and in return he’d give them HERPES but they’d only find out 6-8 weeks down the line….

Posted in:Laura Prepon|Unsorted

2007

30

Mar

I am – Pam Anderson Hiding of the Day

pam_anderson_hiding4.jpg

I know the only girls you’ve ever had were putting up a fight. I know that anything that you try to reference when jerking off conisists of memories of girls in the fetal position or covering their faces in fear of what you are going to do next, not because you are a sexual predator or rapist, but because you are you, and your look alone is enough to make a girl question what the fuck she’s about to let you do to her.

Pam Anderson, a girl who gave hope to big breasted blonde chicks worldwide that there was more to life than being a stripper, and that looks alone could have let you fuck rockstars, get hepatitis, , and live the high life while keeping your porn star look without actually being a pornstar, except for in your own tape, but that doesn’t count. What does count is that she’s covering up her tits and hiding her catchers mitt of a face for the camera. I can only assume she’s scared of her nipples making their way back on to the internet, even though we’ve already seen them. Or maybe she’s hiding the fact that she’s a busted old pick-up truck. I’ve learnt the hard way at strip clubs that if you build your career on your looks and you get old, there’s not much let for you to do than work the bar and serve me some fucking drinks old timer…

Posted in:Pamela Anderson|Unsorted