I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

25

Apr

I am – Megan Fox is a Skater Girl Who Dates Assholes of the Day

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I was sitting on a park bench yesterday and saw some hot teenage girl who was probably skipping high school classes rockin’ a pair of skinny jeans like she was a Ramone, and a pair of massive high top shoes like she was Michael Jordan. It reminded me of when I used to drink with kids at the skate park in the 90s when the groupie girls would dress like that to get the skater kids dick in their mouths. I was just the drunk old guy in the corner they wanted nothing to do with, but I did convince one of them to masturbate for me in exchange for a bag of meth, but she was kinda fat and that’s how I pushed the shit on her, I was like I got this miracle weight loss meds….she fell for it like a fat kid who doesn’t want to be fat on weight loss miracles.

Anyway, Megan Fox reminded me of those days, with her matching shirt and shoelaces, but I don’t really know who this bitch is and I don’t really care, I just know that she’s fighting with her boyfriend in these pics, which is totally fine by me because of his frat boy, gangbang with his football friend, massively gay ironic T-shirt and his whiney bitch ways, like how he storms off from the fight all flustered like Megan Fox is the one who straps it on for him….

Posted in:Megan Fox|Unsorted

2007

25

Apr

I am – Nicole Richie and Her Future Sister-In-Law Sophie Monk of the Day

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I woke up in the middle of the night in a bit of a panic. I had some kind of dream that was a fucking genius post and when I woke up in this panic, I repeated it to myself about 10 times because I wanted to remember it to share with you, because that’s just the kind of guy I am. I ended up falling back to sleep and only waking up now and I completely forgot the idea, my brian is like a plate of mash potatoes, but at least it looks like Nicole Richie hasn’t been eating Mash Potatoes or anything for the last 4 years, bitch is so small,, or from some small famine stricken african tribe, which is possible cuz her dad is black. Bitch looks like she’s 7 years old, and based on personal experience, has the education of a 7 year old, and I know the people who read this site that should probably be in prison, love their women to look like this.

I guess quality of dudes in L.A. is limited, or people who are raised in the industry have no concept of what’s good or not, because both these sluts are baggin’ the twins from Good Charlotte, probably the biggest rockstar cunts out there, I would argue that they are even worse than DJ AM because their are 2 of them, but I find happiness in knowing that these Sister-In-Law outings will end pretty soon in 2 bitter divorces, when the band launches a new album or Nicole gets bored of not being on TV being a total cunt to every small town person in sight.

BONUS:

Posted in:Nicole Richie|Sophie Monk|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I was working on my Academy Award speech today, because I figured stepTV will be the next big thing as the first movie in theaters shot on cellphone, meaning that I’d obviously win. Part of winning is being prepared to accept the award gracefully and as much as I want to show up to the ceremony with a crackwhore smelling of urine to remind Will Smith of his youth, I started to plan my speech, the only person I could think to thank was Sam my cigar vendor who always gives me free cigars, today it was some cuban thing that was fantastic and carried me through my stepLINKS, so click on them if you’re not gay. Cuddles.


Hot Airsex Video
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Ghetto Wedding Pics
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Scary Spice names Her Kid After Eddie Murphey, Even Though He Denies Being the Dad
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This is what Mickey Avalon is Trying To Be
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Scarlett Johansson Falls Down the Stairs Video and I Laughed.
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Grandma Hits the Motherfuckin’ Beach and Turns Me On
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Britney Eating Fries
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Carrie Underwood is Drunk and a Slut
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Kirsten Dunst Hungover
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Treadmill Stunts
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American Apparel in France Shows Tits But Won’t Advertise on This Site
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Kate Bosworth Red Lipstick No Smoke, Sorry LohanWanker, If You’re Still Out There?
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Sheryl Crow Is Telling People How to Shit for Global Warming, While Touring With 4 Buses, 2 Tractor Trailers and 6 Cars because She’s a Cunt.
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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World’s Shortest Mother and her Sick Fucking Boyfriend Who Is Obviously a Fucking Weirdo
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Aishwarya Rai Wedding Pictures Because Now She Can Have Sex
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Some Mini Skirt Cheerleader Action
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Collien Fernandes Photoshoot in Thailand Video
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Ugly Bitches For Britney
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Hot Asian Girl Named Eriko Sato
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Lohan Steals Clothes From Her Friends Because She Is Hotter than Them
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Mena Suvari in Bikini For Rolling Stone
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Spice Girl Reunion
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Adriana Lima’s Nipples for Armani
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Pam Anderson is Going to Adopt, Cuz She is Too Old and Damaged to Get Pregnant, I think It’s Got something To Do With Too Many Abortions
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Lohan Leaving Winstons – It’s a Club and She’s Pretty Amazing
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Kate Beckinsale Goes to the Pool
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5000 People Smoking Weed to Celebrate 4/20 in Vancouver
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A Few Lookin’ Good Sweethearts All At the Same Time
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Some Dumb Bitch Trying To Be Funny With Her Shitty Grandma Panties Jokes…
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This Video Is More Popular Than My Site
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Woman Poops Out Of Her Vadge
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More on the Myspace Drama
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Last Night’s Party Involved Fat Naked Chicks Covered In Watermelon
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Some SNL Skit called the Dress Store Feature Scarlett Johannson
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Manuela Arcuri is Topless in this Photoshoot, I Don’t Know Who She Is, But It Don’t Matter…
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Some Lotion Tit Action
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Intense Coke Ad By Jack White
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Dirty Fucking Upskirt
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Kirsten Dunst and Bryce Dallas Howard Talk To Jane Magazine
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A reader Wants You To Join His Myspace Group
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Paulina Rubio Performing in Lingerie
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Gay Sports Pictures to Laugh At
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Agent Provocateur’s Got Some Lingerie Shit Going On
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Maxim in Greece With Some Chick Named Katerina Georgopoulou
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Some Intense Ping Pong Ball Bouncing Because It’s Cool
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Use This To Get Laid Cuz It Will Do You Some Good
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – Jessica Biel’s Ass Walks Her Dog of the Day

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Dog is a man’s best friend which is pretty appropriate because Jessica Biel has broader shoulders than a football player and probably has a dick, but since she’s in a dress and has tits, I consider her a chick for now.

I have this theory that dogs get to have all the fucking fun, I’m talking from panty sniffing to voyeurism, and if my insane friend from the park is right, and reincarnation exists, it’s a pretty good thing to be, especially if your master is a celebrity who buys you all kind of luxury items like the best damn bone in the city and spends their nights doing blow and fucking like champions while I watch. The only problem is that my friend in the park doesn’t only believe in reincarnation, but also that he can tap into his past life and runs around the park on all fours, barking at the bitches sun tanning, and shitting in the middle of the field, so either he’s a clairvoyant or dude should be institutionalized.

These pics of Jessica Biel look familiar, but I went through my archives and seems like they are new, or that I never posted, which is possible cuz I suck at blogging…but when her ass is stickin’ out like that, who cares when they were taken just be happy that they were taken….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – Jessica Biel's Ass Walks Her Dog of the Day

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Dog is a man’s best friend which is pretty appropriate because Jessica Biel has broader shoulders than a football player and probably has a dick, but since she’s in a dress and has tits, I consider her a chick for now.

I have this theory that dogs get to have all the fucking fun, I’m talking from panty sniffing to voyeurism, and if my insane friend from the park is right, and reincarnation exists, it’s a pretty good thing to be, especially if your master is a celebrity who buys you all kind of luxury items like the best damn bone in the city and spends their nights doing blow and fucking like champions while I watch. The only problem is that my friend in the park doesn’t only believe in reincarnation, but also that he can tap into his past life and runs around the park on all fours, barking at the bitches sun tanning, and shitting in the middle of the field, so either he’s a clairvoyant or dude should be institutionalized.

These pics of Jessica Biel look familiar, but I went through my archives and seems like they are new, or that I never posted, which is possible cuz I suck at blogging…but when her ass is stickin’ out like that, who cares when they were taken just be happy that they were taken….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – Angelina Jolie Hides Behind a Flat Ass of the Day

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I guess this ass isn’t so bad, but it’s still covering Angelina Jolie, which isn’t such a big deal to me, because I don’t really give a fuck, but I can imagine that some of your creepy motherfuckers who have a collection of her pictures in a box in your closet, a hard drive full of every spread bitch has done and maybe even videos of you jerking off on glossy prints of her face, making the fantasy that much more realistic do care that this ass is covering what could have been a hot post pregnancy upskirt, my favorite kind of upskirt.

Either way, I’d let this ass, dance nude for me. Speaking of nude dancing, I had this friend who was rich, he’d hire girls to dance on his dinning room table. I’d go over and it was like my own little strip club. The dude was pretty fucked and everyday at noon, a 12 year old kid he hired wold stand outside his house everyday in a paperboy outfit screaming EXTRA, EXTRA, like it was the 1920. Dude, would run down, give him a quarter, take his paper and call him Timmy before start his expensive day…We were only friends for about a week, I actually accidentally met him, but it was a pretty fucking glorious time, I’m talking fully stocked bar and shit…

I guess that doesn’t have shit to do with Angelina Jolie or her tits and panties or who she is talking to, but I know that she’s not talking to you and that’s because you’re never going to get in up in her…Loser…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – Britney Spears is Thin Overnight of the Day

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I know that these have probably made their way around the internet the last few hours. I guess that’s what happens when there are about 1500 celebrity blogs out there and you have a lazy cunt like me trying to figure out how to add titles to a shitty Debbie Does Dallas Camera Phone Video for 10 hours last night instead of posting all the pictures every fucker out there is posting. The only reason I am posting these now, is because bitch looks better overnight and I am guessing that only happens with liposuction, but still worth around not that it changes anything for me, I would have still fucked her back when she was in the gutter, with acne, cellulite and no shoes on, if I could get it up because there is no whore too dirty for me at least that’s my life’s philosopohy.

I am actually pretty pissed off that bitch pulled her shit together and got dancing and singing in efforts to make a comeback that will probably work out for her. She’s been in the media consistently the whole 2 or 3 years she’s taken off work to have babies and be a fat lazy cunt, but as long as she wears booty shorts and fishnets, she’ll be getting airtime on my site…..if this is even considered a site, I like to believe it’s more of mistake on the part of people who invented blogging software giving people like me the chance to talk about Britney’s ass…

Point of the story is that I like gutter sluts more than refined, choreographed, popstars like Britney and I was really looking forward to getting a 10 dollar a song lap dance from her in 5 years, had she lost everything as I had planned for her. She has officially let me down even though she’s wearing her underwear in public…which more girls should do, and I’d advise you to tell them to, but realize you haven’t spoke to a girl since you were in grade school before you realized you wanted to fuck them, which was the last time you weren’t creepy.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – Gwen Stefani Ruins My Fetish of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Gwen Stefani dressing close enough to a French Maid to make me never want to look at a bitch in a French Maid’s outfit again, even though I love that cheesy sexy shit that is so played out that every bitch rocks this shit for halloween which wasn’t a bad thing until Gwen Stefani ruined it for me. I feel like Halloween won’t be as good as it once was and now when every college slut on campus is rocking her variation of the french maid outfit, even if her variation involves no panties and an exposed cooter, even if her and her friend are going down on each other in the shower and a french maid party, my brain will go back to these Gwen Stefani pics poisoning me to never enjoy such an enjoyable thing again…

I guess the reality is that nothing will ever make me hate girls going down on each other, or girls dressed like sluts, but I had no other angle for the post and Gwen Stefani is pretty fucking busted, even when she’s showin’ off her long legs….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – stepTV Does Debbie Does Dallas Again Party in NYC of the Day

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Debbie Does Dallas was the first porno I ever saw back when I was 15 or 16. It holds a very warm place in my heart as fetishes of big bushed cheerleaders never really left my mind. I wasn’t sure how much I liked the concept of remaking it with bikini waxes, fake tits and expensive cameras, so when I heard about the NYC Debbie Does Dallas Again launch party that happened in NYC last Thursday, I convinced Vivid that my site was good enough to get invited and they pulled through. I am obviously too broke to go to NYC so I found some people willing to help out. I wanted to get the whole thing on video but I don’t have equipment but the guy I spoke to said that he’d do it as long as he could get drunk. Since I encourage people being drunk, it seemed like he was the guy. He forgot to tell me that his camera was on a free cellphone he got for signing a 2 year contract, but he still pulled through –

This is what he had to say about the event:

So Big Pinky Derrick and I got a late start which upon entering the club was fine by us. There were swarms of shithead photographers with their expensive cameras and wall street pieces of shit in 3 piece suits that seemed to cover the place like a cum shot covers a pornstar’s tits. We immediately grabbed beers from the open bar, but only one beer at a time cause they wouldn’t let us double fist. I figured double fisting would be accepted because it’s a porn party, but maybe fisting hasn’t really made it into the mainstream porn yet.

Regardless we made our way to the cesspool of photographers, I was equipped with a polaroid I stole from my neighbor’s little sister about 10 years ago and began snapping up photos of Monique who was posing. I was catching glaring eyes of the “professional” photographers who I guess thought I was a total cunt and at one point even told me that the event was for professionals. Shit’s for DrunkenStepfahter, how much more professional can I get so I told him to Fuck off. We continued drinking staring at the scene, having team huddles in the bathroom to assess the situation.

Finally after getting shoved around by “professionals”, karma kicked in. They escorted the porn stars to a roped off section and with three piece weasels and shithead photographers foaming at the bottom of the stairs they pulled me and Big Pinky up. Giving my competition the proverbial fuck off smile me and my cohort parted the sea of scum and sat unaccompanied with Monique and Savanna who both seemed confused how a bunch of idiots like us were up there with them in the first place.

Alas the girls warmed up to us and our charming ways. The interview went fine, we parted with thanks, smiles, and gropes, and hit the bar once more before stumbling out onto the NYC streets, laughing at the whole fucking thing.” I’d say thanks Jesus and DrunkenStepfather.com, but I am convinced you had nothing to do with making this happen. It was all me, motherfucker.

here’s the video:

Here’s the interview that you can’t make out in the video.

The following questions were asked of our two lovely hedonists:


Who would win a fight Captain crunch or Captain Kirk?

Monique: Captain crunch. Probably due to brand loyalty.

Savana: Captain Kirk cause he is bigger and not a cartoon.


Who is your favorite smurf?

Monique and Savana: The only one that wore high heels and was slutty. Smurfette.


If there were a fire which would you rescue? A kitten or a puppy?

Both: The puppy. Kittens are too hard to catch an are not as cool. Puppies rule.


Punch mom in the stomach or wear a suit of Macaroni for a week.

Monique I’d definetly punch my mom in the stomach hard!
Savana: Macaroni suit.

Favorite shoes of all times?
Monique: Chucks
Savana:Giuseppi whatevers

Here are the polaroids:

I have decided that showing up to events with a camera phone is exactly where I want to take stepTV. Fuck 10,000 dollar cameras and high quality video, this shit’s ghetto there’s no denying it. I hope these guys become my NYC stepSTEVEs. If you’re wondering who they are –


Credits:

Big Pinky Derrick on camera and interviewer is from TVCARNAGE

and

Roedood behind the camera and drunk and is from VBS.tv (until I poach this motherfucker to work for me full time because Vice is massively gay)

For more info on Debbie Does Dallas Again Go HERE

Posted in:Pornstars|stepLIVIN'|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

23

Apr

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I just realized that I haven’t left the house yet today and it’s prett late at night. I don’t really know what I have been doing because I haven’t posted on the site since 4 am, but I am pretty fucking sure I’ve been doing work – it just doesn’t seem like I have been.

Either way, I am posting the links now and planning an evening adventure, because not leaving the house is almost as depressing as your life. ENJOY!

Amy Winehouse In Her Bra
GO

This is Brazilian TV
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Russians Love Jennifer Lopez Because They Are 10 Years Behind
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Some Girl Unwrapping Herself
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Charlize Theron Dressed in Yellow
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Intense Girls WIth Putting Tabasco In Their Eyes
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Teddy Bear Bondage Video
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Girl Publicly Degraded – They Say It’s Staged, But It’s Still Fucking INSANE
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Heath Ledger is the Next Joker, These Are the Pics
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Some Idiot from Laguna Beach Playing Russian Roulette
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More of Scarlett on SNL
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Cam Girl in a Video
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Some More Danielle Lloyd Lookin’ Big Tittied
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The 5 Hottest Nerds
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Mischa Barton in Mom Jeans
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Fatasia Barrino In a Tight Dress Lookin’ Busted
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Keanu Reeves Has A Hot Girlfriend
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Chevy Chase Has Mommy Issues, Maybe Because She Named Him After the Car She Got Knocked Up In
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Some Scren Caps of Gail Stanwyck from Fletch
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Val Kilmer Fat on the Beach
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Lohan in a Bikini in ALlure
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Some Chick Named Eva La Rue Posing
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Milla Jovovich is Last Week’s News and By Last Week I Mean 5 Years Ago, But She’s Pregnant and I love Unprotected Sex
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Bruce Willis is Banging a Girl in Her Mid 20s, Because He Can
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Nicole Richie Calls DJ AM’s Ex GF Fat
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Mischa Barton See-Through Dress
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Some Third Rate Celebrity from Third Rock From The Sun Turns His Camera to the Paparazzi and Makes a Video Abotu It
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Apprentice Contestant Naomi Lay Sex Tape Scandal
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Apprentice Named Kristine Lefebvre is Posing Nude for Playboy in June
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Changing Room Voyeur
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Some Swedish Band that is supposed to be pretty good…
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Some New Eve Song That You Don’t Care About
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Jewel has Insane Tits
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Perez Hanging Out With Jewels Tits
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Britney Shaved Her Head To Honor Dead Aunt
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Having Sex When The Kids Are Around
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Dude Turns His Back Into a Target
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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This Will Get You Laid and You Need It because Your Good Looks Aren’t Enough…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted