DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

29

Mar

I am – Uma Thurman Bathing Suit Pics of the Day

There was this 45 year old I worked with who was a total dirtbag. She may have been an alcoholic or drug addict, but I can’t hold a job long enough to get comfortable enough to take a shit in the office, so I’d never know. After one company party I somehow got myself invited to, I started up my game, you know talking to her about how I wanted to see her crawl around on all fours in a mini skirt before ravaging her ass, you know light sexual harassment to see if she’d be into it. Somehow I got her enough drinks to get myself back at her place where she proceeded to crawl around on all fours. I directed her by telling her to take off her panties, at which point she turned to me and told me to fuck her. I couldn’t get it up and it was a low point in my sexual career, but I think it fucked her head up more than mine. Three minutes after realizing I couldn’t do what she wanted me to do, she started dancing around the room telling me to take it all in because I’d never see it again. That monday I was fired and that was the end of that. The lesson to learn in this story is to not get hard when a girl is drunk and horny because it will do more damage to her ego than to yours…at least that the way it worked for me.

Speaking of 45 year olds, here are some pics of Uma Thurman’s Tits in a bathing suit, because they are big and I know that big tits is why I have traffic.

Posted in:Uma Thurman|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Tara Reid Takes Her Tits for a Walk of the Day

70 Comments »

Tara Reid is a drunken whore and she’s having a good fucking time doing whatever it is that she is doing. Even if she claims to have sobered up, it makes no difference to me because I am the type of guy that holds onto the good times and ignores the bad. I remember I knew this bitch who was hitting the beer bong and getting gangbanged by the football team at every college party I went to, even though I never went to college but snuck into all the parties, because that’s where you find prime drunken ass. Anyway, she became some high powered lawyer and will never live that shit down no matter how hard she tries to avoid people for her past. So Tara Reid looks like less of a whore and a little more respectable than ever, but she’ll always be a fake titty drunk whore who liked to fuck to me….That’s just the kind of guy I am….

Posted in:Tara Reid|Unsorted

2007

28

Mar

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

My computer fell on the ground today and almost ended my internet career. I was pretty pissed off because I have yet to seduce a woman on the internet like most people I know have. I don’t know what is stopping me, maybe it’s my impotency, maybe it’s my wife, but it’s probably because I know all girls on the internet are ugly. Hot chicks are too busy being hot…

There is nothing really wrong with ugly chicks from the internet, so don’t think I am shitting on your strategy to get laid. We all know that it’s your time and would rather see you with an ugly chick than being that dude who jerks off on the bus for highschool chicks.

Here are my links for the day, I think I am sick, Cuddles.

I want to watch Kate Moss Shower, Even If She Rarely Does It.
GO

Courtney Love Lookin’ Hot on The Beach and By Hot I Mean HIV Chic
GO

Scarlett Johansson Esquire Shoot Outtakes
GO

Some Dirty Movies of Sluts Getting Naked
GO

Sexy Webcam Video
GO

Some Girl Talking About Being a Topless Dancer
GO

Some Bitch Named Sunny Leonne Posing in the Tub
GO

Fleshflick – Public Sex
GO

Rod’s Stewart Son Sean Used To Jerk Off to Rachel Hunter
GO

Olsen’s Look For New Noses
GO

Some Webcam Girl Named Tila Tequila
GO

Heidi Klum Shopping
GO

Lohan on Drugs
GO
Girls Playing Table Tennis Video
GO

Boob Prank Video
GO

Nasty Bitch Named Miss Cris Talks About Shaving Her Cunt and Bores the Fuck Out of Me
GO

Christina Aguilera is Hot in Nylon
GO

Hairy Armpit Fetish
GO

Mangina Wrestles – Amazing…
GO

Amy Ferguson Pees in the Shower
GO

Michelle Marsh Topless in Maxim
GO

Fabiana Tambosi is Hot in Her Underwear
GO

Shaving Your Legs Picture
GO

Perez Hilton’s Yearbook Picture
GO

Celeb Nipslip Collection
GO

Chick Getting Off On Her Bike Seat Video
GO

Huge Tit Doctor’s Office Video
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some American Idol Slut Named Alaina Alexander Half Nude
GO

Changing Room Prank
GO

Lesbian Shaves Her Head in Her Bra
GO

Topless Bitch at Rio’s Carnivale Video
GO

Imgoen Bailey Hot Pics With Tits
GO

Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox Kiss On The Lips – As Sexy As You Kissing Your Granny on the Lips
GO

After Dinner Sex
GO

Gisele Modeling
GO

Some Slut Named Renata Maciel dos Santos in her Underwear
GO

Shilpa Shetty is from Big Brother UK and She is Showing Off Her Cunt
GO

Sophi Has Hairy Legs Video
GO

Jennifer Hudson is My Dream Girl
GO

Britney’s Bodyguard Pulls His Gun on a Photographer
GO

Shaving Cream Wrestling Video
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Dancing Black Guys Beat Each Other Up
GO

The Dahm Triplets are Trashy and Naked and Filmed by Dale Earnheardt in this VIdeo
GO

Claire Sweeney pulling Down Her Bikini
GO

Jess at the Beach Video
GO

UFC Champ Named Chuck – Falling Asleep in an Interview
GO

Some Sluts in a PETA Ad
GO

Some Porn Conference Pics
GO

Parek is From Eastern Europe and it Looks Fucking Hot
GO

Who is the Next Pussycat Doll Slut
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Girls Wrestle on the Beach
GO

Creepy Youtube Video
GO

The Virgin Joke Never Gets Old…You Need This To Help You Get Laid
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

28

Mar

I am – Jennifer Love Hewitt Does Clowns Because She’s Lame of the Day

9 Comments »

You will see these pictures on other sites and with these pics you will see stupid fucking jokes about how you need to spot the clown in the picture or shit about Jennifer Love Hewitt learning how to seduce little kids back into her van or something about how clowns are scary but not to her because she’s so fucking fake she laughs at everyone’s jokes when the camera is on, it’s good PR.

I fucking had bitches who laugh at my jokes, trying to look cute, even when shit’s way over their head or when I am not trying to be funny, which is pretty much all the time….cuz laughing is for cunts in yellow trying to be cute.

Speaking of cunt, I wonder what hers is lookin like, but the state of her tits aiming to the ground like all big tits do when they turn thirty, I can only assume her uterus is peeking out of her box too. I guess my analogy was kinda vile, good thing no one’s reading this.

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|Unsorted

2007

28

Mar

I am – Jennifer Love Hewitt Does Clowns Because She's Lame of the Day

No Comments »

You will see these pictures on other sites and with these pics you will see stupid fucking jokes about how you need to spot the clown in the picture or shit about Jennifer Love Hewitt learning how to seduce little kids back into her van or something about how clowns are scary but not to her because she’s so fucking fake she laughs at everyone’s jokes when the camera is on, it’s good PR.

I fucking had bitches who laugh at my jokes, trying to look cute, even when shit’s way over their head or when I am not trying to be funny, which is pretty much all the time….cuz laughing is for cunts in yellow trying to be cute.

Speaking of cunt, I wonder what hers is lookin like, but the state of her tits aiming to the ground like all big tits do when they turn thirty, I can only assume her uterus is peeking out of her box too. I guess my analogy was kinda vile, good thing no one’s reading this.

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|Unsorted

2007

28

Mar

I am – Tyra Banks and Some Sparkly Bitch Touching Their Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

Tyra_3-27-2007
Uploaded by drunkenstepfather

Tyra Banks is like some kind of Hitler on her show. She likes ordering people around but in this clip, she is ordering them to moisturize their breasts, and as much as I am not a fan of Hygiene, tit grabbing on national TV works for me…it’s like one step closer to having a strip club in my shit hole I call home….

There’s something funny about seeing girls touching themselves in groups. I was at the strip club last week and accidentally walked into the changing room with the strip club DJ I became friends with, I thought I knew him cuz he sounded familiar, maybe it’s cuz all strip club DJs sound the fucking same. SIx of the girls were practicing the booty shake with each other and giving each other tips on how to make it better. One fat one was on her knees lifting one ass cheek at a time and another was on all fours. When they saw me they called the bouncer and I got kicked out of the club, but I still have the memory screenshot in my brain, I win…whores…..

Posted in:Tyra Banks|Unsorted

2007

28

Mar

I am – Renee Zellweger Knows She’s Ugly and Plays Football To Prove It of the Day

17 Comments »

I had this genius idea about ugly chicks being great for your self confidence because they love the way anyone fucks them so if you get with one, you’ll hear about how you changed her ugly fucking life even if you have no penis, they just like to get hugged and feel another person’s touch on their lonely body…but I forgot the whole joke behind the post and realized that you can’t even land ugly chicks and if you could you’d be all up in that shit just to drop the virgin tattoo on your forehead that you don’t think anyone can see…but we can…Anyway, what I was trying to say is that fucking an ugly chick never boosts self esteem because having to fuck an ugly chick to get the positive feedback from the ugly chick is usually a low fucking point, even if you get to cum in her ass, that you have to live with forever and the damage done to yourself by banging her is NEVER outweighed by the great feedback you get when she’s outside your window calling your name, begging for you to be inside her again, at 4 am, waking up all your fucking neighbors.

That said, Renee Zellweger is an ugly chick and has been from before she won an Academ Award for Legally Blond or whatever the fuck she was in and that’s the point of this post. I guess for her sake I hope that football hits her in her ugly chick face so that they have to operate and when they do let’s hope they give her some fucking eyes because she is scaring me.

Posted in:Renee Zellweger|Unsorted

2007

28

Mar

I am – Renee Zellweger Knows She's Ugly and Plays Football To Prove It of the Day

No Comments »

I had this genius idea about ugly chicks being great for your self confidence because they love the way anyone fucks them so if you get with one, you’ll hear about how you changed her ugly fucking life even if you have no penis, they just like to get hugged and feel another person’s touch on their lonely body…but I forgot the whole joke behind the post and realized that you can’t even land ugly chicks and if you could you’d be all up in that shit just to drop the virgin tattoo on your forehead that you don’t think anyone can see…but we can…Anyway, what I was trying to say is that fucking an ugly chick never boosts self esteem because having to fuck an ugly chick to get the positive feedback from the ugly chick is usually a low fucking point, even if you get to cum in her ass, that you have to live with forever and the damage done to yourself by banging her is NEVER outweighed by the great feedback you get when she’s outside your window calling your name, begging for you to be inside her again, at 4 am, waking up all your fucking neighbors.

That said, Renee Zellweger is an ugly chick and has been from before she won an Academ Award for Legally Blond or whatever the fuck she was in and that’s the point of this post. I guess for her sake I hope that football hits her in her ugly chick face so that they have to operate and when they do let’s hope they give her some fucking eyes because she is scaring me.

Posted in:Renee Zellweger|Unsorted

2007

28

Mar

I am – Stacy Keibler Thinks Shes Avril Lavigne of the Day

64 Comments »

I always found funny when I’d see girls I once slammed dating new guys and taking on a whole new persona for them . There were times when I saw crackwhores I banged turn Christian, or alcoholic sluts I met in clubs turn sober and there was even a time I slammed a chick who came up to me three years later as a man with a dick and everything, if I knew she had that kind of money, I probably would have stuck around a little longer.

The point of this post is to say that Stacy Keibler was a wrestling slut, the kind who only wore a bikini, the kind who you’d expect to see in a hot body contest on springbreak, the kind you’d see in a cheap dress exposing her ass cheeks and cleavage while drunk on cheap vodka…but then she goes and meets a dude in Etnies and thinks it’s time to punk up with a skull t-shirt and Freedom Hat. Fuck that noise.

I knew a jewish girl who went to a tattoo parlor to get a piercing and decided to dress punk rock, that same girl went to a hip hop show and dressed thug, the same girl went to the movies and dressed like a disney character, that same girl had as much confidence in herself as a bitch who stops flaunting her “SLUT” for some dickhead in a skate sweatshirt….

Good post admit it.

Posted in:Stacy Keibler|Unsorted

2007

28

Mar

I am – J.Lo is Still a Latina of the Day

1 Comment »

I walked by the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Montreal today and saw Christina Aguilera’s tour bus outside. I guess that means she is staying there and I probably could have waited around or snuck up inside the hotel, crawl through the air ducts and get some serious stalker pics of her shover her husbands Passover hat in her cunt, but I realized that as hot as I think she is and no matter how badly I want to stuff her like a Passover turkey, I only really give a fuck about her when I am lookin for pictures of shitty celebrity sluts to write about and have no interest in having a non one-sided computer screen between me and pictures of her and posting them on a site she’s never heard of relationship. I am not a real celebrity blogger, you’ve all been mislead….

Speaking of being mislead, Christina used the Latina card and so did J.Lo back when the Latina card to got people to the top. The media was all over all things whose parents were cigar smoking mud farmers, like Ricky Martin, Enrique and Mark Anthony. It was the late 90s and early 00s but as soon as J.Lo started raking in the dollars she became whiter than Pam Anderson’s Hepatits stool. She dated black rappers like a normal fat white chick, she dated some Boston drunk like a good white sorority girl then she dropped it all, when back to the mexican and is showing up to events like this. All this bitch is missing is a sombrero, a taco platter and a fucking poncho to bring the point home that she’s still Jenny from the trashy latina block….

Posted in:Jennifer Lopez|Unsorted