I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

26

Mar

I am – Shakira’s Bra of the Day

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I was pretty fucking drunk last night and I don’t really remember anything funny happening except maybe the dude who I caught finger banging some slut he must have met in a bar on a park bench near the bench I rock. It was like a live sex show that didn’t turn me on because I could smell her ratty box from my seat. Don’t get me wrong, random fat girls who let random dudes finger bang them is what makes my world go round but I guess I am just too desensitized to appreciate it.

Speakin’ of desensitized, here is Shakira in see-through, something I have seen so many times a couldn’t give a fuck about it but will post it anyway because you are a fuckin loser and get off to this shit. Loser.

Posted in:Shakira|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Shakira's Bra of the Day

shakira_bra_top.jpg

I was pretty fucking drunk last night and I don’t really remember anything funny happening except maybe the dude who I caught finger banging some slut he must have met in a bar on a park bench near the bench I rock. It was like a live sex show that didn’t turn me on because I could smell her ratty box from my seat. Don’t get me wrong, random fat girls who let random dudes finger bang them is what makes my world go round but I guess I am just too desensitized to appreciate it.

Speakin’ of desensitized, here is Shakira in see-through, something I have seen so many times a couldn’t give a fuck about it but will post it anyway because you are a fuckin loser and get off to this shit. Loser.

Posted in:Shakira|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Paris Hilton Does Perez Hilton of the Day

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My 37th birthday is in a couple of weeks and I won’t have Paris Hilton at my party, mainly because I am not having a party. My 4 friends are too poor to go out and like chilling in parks and bus shelters, while my wife is too fucking fat to leave the apartment. I am not really complaining because I’d rather wipe my wife’s ass, which I do have to do often and hate every fucking second of it, then have to have an event that Paris goes out of her way to show her cunt face at.

I guess this post is a testament of where my priorities lie, as well as some confusion of why Paris’ tits are lookin’ so big even though I don’t really give a fuck about them. What I do give a fuck about is why Perez Hilton annoys the fuck out of me.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Tila Tequila Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

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The funny thing about Tila Tequila is that she became famous on myspace, while I tried to become famous on myspace and got up to 3000 friends only to get my account deleted by those News Corp motherfuckers…I guess that really isn’t funny at all, but it does give sluts everywhere hope of getting noticed and the dream of fame coming from being a myspace slut and myspace sluts usually have pictures I would jerk off to if I wasn’t impotent. I guess that’s all I have to say about this slut, but don’t think I didn’t notice her wasting perfectly good booze by pouring it all over her fake titty self instead of drinking it. I guess she doesn’t realize that alcoholics like me find the whole thing fucking offensive as shit because I’d die to have that booze with me now, instead I can’t even afford a fuckin 40 of malt liquor and try distracting myself by looking at her lame fucking pictures. I am all about insertion pics these days and in case you didn’t notice she ain’t inserting shit. Go fuck yourself Tila Tequila and your myspace fame too. Cuddles.

Posted in:Tila Tequila|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Jennifer Love Hewitt is Dumpy and Stumpy of the Day

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I remember a time when this whore was tiny with big tits. I was a with a guy this weekend who wouldn’t stop talking about skinny girls with big tits. He recently started calling tits “cans”, like this was the ’50s and I liked it enough to consider dropping it on the regular but probably won’t because I forget stupid ideas all the time.

Anyway, it looks like Jennifer Love has taken an interest in eating. Maybe it’s got something to do with her amazing career and life-changing show about Ghosts that I am forced to watch on Friday nights because I have one Channel. It looks like her boyfriend is even lookin’ at her ass thinking to himself that he didn’t sign up for this dumpy shit, she’s supposed to be that small chick with big cans, what the fuck happened….

You know that everytime they go out to eat, he hints at her to not get the dessert and to stay away from the fries, but bitch just won’t listen because eating makes her happy, and eating makes all of us remember that the bitch you once wanted to fuck but were too scared to approach will one day end up 30 lbs fatter, washed-up and has been.

Today is Jennifer Love Hewitt’s day to shine. Cuddles.

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Maria Menounos’ Ass Crack of the Day

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I think this Greek whore is on TV and now she’s on my site, probably a high point of her career. This is probably from some shitty segment with that figure skater that is all over the fucking place lately, because Figure Skating is the sport of the future. I remember a time before there was porn where I’d have 2 jerk off options, one was music videos and the other was sneaking a mound shot during the figure skating shows that are constantly on my one channel. Today, the jerking off comes from seeing this bitch all fallen over and vulnerable with about an inch of ass crack exposed. That inch is bigger than some your dicks and enough to get a post on this site.

Posted in:Maria Menounos|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Maria Menounos' Ass Crack of the Day

maria_maneunos_ass.jpg

I think this Greek whore is on TV and now she’s on my site, probably a high point of her career. This is probably from some shitty segment with that figure skater that is all over the fucking place lately, because Figure Skating is the sport of the future. I remember a time before there was porn where I’d have 2 jerk off options, one was music videos and the other was sneaking a mound shot during the figure skating shows that are constantly on my one channel. Today, the jerking off comes from seeing this bitch all fallen over and vulnerable with about an inch of ass crack exposed. That inch is bigger than some your dicks and enough to get a post on this site.

Posted in:Maria Menounos|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Maria Sharapova’s Stretchin’ Ass of the Day

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I went to a random strip club with a friend of mine the other day that had the weirdest fucking thing on the menus. For 2 dollars you could get a plate of cheese and crackers, but I am not talking luxurious cheeses, I’m talking kraft singles on saltines. I can’t say no to the most ghetto meal in the fucking world because beggars like me take what we can get and I ended up spending my 20 dollar budget on 10 rounds of this shit…The highlight of the club wasn’t really the cheese though, it was the fact that the place was full service and bitches suck your dick in the booth for 40 dollars. I couldn’t test it out because I only found out about it after I spent my budget on their food menu, but at least I showed those whore that I was a baller with my 10 empty plates with 20 cheese slice plastic wrapping scattered around the table…

Speaking of cheese, here are some pics of Maria Sharapova stretching because girls in sports are usually disgusting and she’s the exception to the rule….

Bonus: While on Tennis here is a pic of Venus Williams proving that she’s like that movie “Ladybug” and really has a cock.

Posted in:Jocks|Maria Sharapova|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Maria Sharapova's Stretchin' Ass of the Day

maria_sharapova_stretch10.jpg

I went to a random strip club with a friend of mine the other day that had the weirdest fucking thing on the menus. For 2 dollars you could get a plate of cheese and crackers, but I am not talking luxurious cheeses, I’m talking kraft singles on saltines. I can’t say no to the most ghetto meal in the fucking world because beggars like me take what we can get and I ended up spending my 20 dollar budget on 10 rounds of this shit…The highlight of the club wasn’t really the cheese though, it was the fact that the place was full service and bitches suck your dick in the booth for 40 dollars. I couldn’t test it out because I only found out about it after I spent my budget on their food menu, but at least I showed those whore that I was a baller with my 10 empty plates with 20 cheese slice plastic wrapping scattered around the table…

Speaking of cheese, here are some pics of Maria Sharapova stretching because girls in sports are usually disgusting and she’s the exception to the rule….

Bonus: While on Tennis here is a pic of Venus Williams proving that she’s like that movie “Ladybug” and really has a cock.

Posted in:Jocks|Maria Sharapova|Unsorted

2007

24

Mar

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I said I would do the stepLINKS and I did them and that isn’t really saying much since you don’t actually click the fucking links. It’s like I scour the fucking internet lookin for decent shit to link up fo no fucking reason and I guess that’s pretty much the story of my life. I am slowly coming to terms with it because last night, with 19 cents to my name I asked some random chick outside a club for a quarter to call my stepdaugther who lost her key because my cell phone broke line and told her about the website and to email me for her quarter back. She hadn’t heard of me but told me how amazing Perez is. I still took her quarter then called my friend Jimmy the Rapist to notify him of this golden lead….I told him she’d be easy cuz she’s wasted and that she’d never be able to identify him in the police line-up….

I don’t actually have a friend named Jimmy the Rapist who rapes people on call, but I don’t think think you can rape a Perez Hilton reader because they allow themselves to get raped by him daily and still go back for more. I don’t know where I am goin’ with this but I do know that I have steplinks. so click em. Cuddles.

Mary Kate Olsen Smokin’ For Horny Lohan Wanker
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Mary Kate Olsen’s Got Fat Legs
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Elisha Cuthbert Photoshoot Pictures With Tit
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Some Rachael Ray Making Sexy Noises While Eating Video
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Hot Ass Bootyshake Video That Isn’t That Hot At All…
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Girls Smelling the Door Knob Knockout Video
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Lame Chicks Stuffing Their Bras and Dancing Proving that they Are Lame
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Dry Sex Video Of the Day
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Bridget Moynahan is a Bitch I’ve Never Heard of Who is Pregnant But I’d Still Fuck if my Penis Worked
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Christina Aguilera – Before and After her Concert Looking Like a Whore – The Way I Like My Women
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Spring Break Tit Flash Video
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Girls in the Ladies Room Video
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Lena Headey Nude in 300 and Hot
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Tommy Lee Used to Massage His Mom’s Feet
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Old J-Lo Bikini Pics Where She Actually Looked Hot
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Flickr Erotic Photography
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I’ve Jerked Off to this Queen Latifah Pic 10 Times, Ok, That’s a Lie, But If I Could I would.
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Britney is Out of Rehab and Out at a Club
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Some Chick Named Bri’s Crazy Fucking Ass
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Some Chick Named Sexy Bubble’s Crazy Fucking Ass Trying to Upstage Bri
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Fleshflicks – Lesbians at Work
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Hot Bitches at the Dukes of Hazard DVD Release Party
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Some Chick Named Elsa Pataky in a Bikini and Topless. It all looks the same.
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This Video is Called Rough College Sex
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Maxim Photoshoot Video
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Big Brother Boob Massage Video
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Asian Chick in the Produce Section
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Hayden Pannettiere is My Kind of Slut But She’s Getting TOo Old
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Drunk Guy Humping the Wall
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Some American Idol Chick Named Haley Scarneto Performing
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Allison Angel Running and Naked and Hot
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High School GIrl Dance Routine
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Guy on Drugs Calls a TV Show
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Halle Berry Cleavage Worth Lookin At If you Have Nothing Better to Do
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Girls Mounting Each Other
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Fat Booty Shaking Video to Throw Up On
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This Video Was Sent into Me and I Didn’t Watch It But You Should
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Lookin Good Sweetheart in Video
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This will get you laid if you aren’t a total fucking loser. But I have a Feeling you are a Total Fucking Loser, So don’t bother clicking…
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Kelly Brook in Leather
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Best Video on Youtube That Sucks Video
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Never Enough Dry Sex VIdeo With Hot Slut Melissa who Really Isn’t That Hot
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Lisa Marie Scott Bikini
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted