DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2006

Dec

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

16 Comments »

I don’t know what the fuck happened to my site, but I keep getting an “Internal Server Error”. I called the hosting company and they can’t help me, so I guess this is the end of Stepfather as we know it. I thought I was going to have a big break like the emo 20 year old homo I saw on 20/20 last night who got a show on fox because of a shitty video he made called Myspace the Movie that got big on youtube back when it was easy to be the top YouTube video.

If any of you have good deals on Videocameras, email me. I may have a sponsor to get stepTV to take over the world.

Until then, here’s some links….

Roberto Cavalli Fashion Show Pics with Hot Bitches
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Amateur Porn of People Fucking in their Hotel Room
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Saddam Hussein was Executed – His Video is On the Internet
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Some Saddam Hussein Pre-Execution Video I’ll Never Post the Actually Death, Cuz This site does sex not death…
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Some Quebec Slut in a Bikini Cuz Quebec Sluts are Sluts…True Story
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New Amateur Girl Named Sweet Adri from Nebraska
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Stock Up on Rockey Merchandise Cuz He May Be Washed Up, but I heard his Movie was good….
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Rio Natsume Massage Video
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Lohan Strips for Strippers Because She Called Them Cunts a Few Months Ago and Realizes that if her addiction takes over, she may be one of them or something
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Massage Techniques
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Some On the Beach Voyeur Movie from Italy…Not as Good as it Sounds…
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Tin Foil Office Prank
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Prostate Massage
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Reese Witherspoon has a Dumpy Mom of 2 Ass
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Mimi Rogers Full Body Massage
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Lohan and Kimmy Stewart Rock Out in Miami because you Can’t Teach an Old, Haggard Cokeslut of a Dog New Tricks…
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Hipster Photoshoot that is Fully Clothed…
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Hipster Photoshoot that is Naked and on All Fours… Cuz Everyone Wants to Be a Pornstar…Even You…
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I’d Rather Fuck the Dolls than the Real Ones But That’s because I have a Small Dick…
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Some Naked Flickr Action Via My Lawyer
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Lomi Lomi Ass Massage…
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Breast Enlarging Massage…
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FLICKR Christmas Titty Action
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Do you like sex and can’t land pussy? But this, 3 for the price of 1 is a good deal for pussy. Why pay for sex, when you can pay for a spray that will get you sex from real girls….
GO

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2006

Dec

I am – Random Message to Paris Hilton Number 4 of the Day

10 Comments »

The concept is pretty simple. I leave random messages on Paris Hilton’s voice mail in attempts to confuse her. That’s pretty much all I’ve got to say about that, except maybe to tell your friends to watch it too…Two days until 2007 and I am fucking excited to leave 2006 behind me. I’ve heard of people saying they’ve had bad years, now I understand it. Lucky for you, you’ve been along for the daily updated ride and I am still broke, not famous, impotent and boring. It would be unrealistic to think that everything is going to change in the 2007, but I am pretty sure it will. Stay tuned motherfuckers…

Posted in:stepSTALKER|Unsorted

2006

Dec

I am – Paris Hilton’s Bikini Shower in Australia of the Day

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Paris Hilton and her soon to be released sex tape Kim Kardashian the Monkey Lover because She’s Fat are rocking out in Australia for New Years. Everyone has a fucking sex tape and I love it. Anyone under the age of 22 has been raised on hardcore porn and come from broken homes at least that’s the way I see it when I hear stories about 12 year old girls going to clubs in their highschool uniforms, ripping lines in the bathroom, dancing on the bar showing the world their ass then ending up at the after party where they suck some random dude’s dick. Or when I hear about highschool threesomes where girls are sitting on each other’s faces for some 15 year old jerking off in the corner, or when I hear that Anal sex is more popular to the younger generation because they can’t get pregnant. I guess this is the shit that movie Thirteen was based on and I love every fucking second of it. When I was 16 my girlfriend wouldn’t even take it up the ass after 3 years of being together and she was born pre-mature with subtle retardation…now asshole virginity is not a sacred thing. I may not be able to benefit from it, but at least I get to watch the videos. It’s a Christmas fucking miracle.

I went out to a bar last night to drink my happiness about this finding away and got drunk enough to text message Stavros asking him what he was doing for NYE.

He wrote me this

I’m in Australia dude, can’t believe I’m here. What are you up to?

I figure he had no idea who I was so I asked him to sponsor my website and asked if Paris was there since they are engaged. He never answered and it broke my heart. I can only assume my number is now blocked and dead to him, l like his immune system since Paris gave him AIDS.

Here are the Paris pics.

Here’s your bonus picture – it’s Paris and the Armenian Kim Jungle Fever Doing the Charlie’s Angel pose because they are fucking lame. You probably don’t find it lame because you and your friends do this pose all the time because you are a generic piece of shit and that’s why I hate you. Cuddles.

Posted in:stepSTALKER|Unsorted

2006

Dec

I am – Paris Hilton's Bikini Shower in Australia of the Day

No Comments »

I went out to a bar last night to drink my happiness about this finding away and got drunk enough to text message Stavros asking him what he was doing for NYE.

He wrote me this

I’m in Australia dude, can’t believe I’m here. What are you up to?

Here are the Paris pics.

Posted in:stepSTALKER|Unsorted

2006

Dec

I am – Jessica Simpson Cameltoe of the Day

1 Comment »

One of my readers thinks I suck because I am not funny anymore because I complain instead of ripping into celebrities….

Matthew Sobel
yo faggot
you sold out

drunkenstepfather
huh?

Matthew Sobel
your site used to be good
now is as played as you

drunkenstepfather
who are you?

Matthew Sobel
im your conscience

drunkenstepfather
what are you wearing?

Matthew Sobel
you know your site sucks
ha typical plebian drunkenstepfather response

drunkenstepfather
what is it missing

Matthew Sobel
what are u wearing?
thats what u come up with
u got lohans number and u used it to leave some nonsense
ur linked into all the pop blogs and shit and ppl come to ur site and leave noone cares
u coulda been somebody, but now ur shot, old hat, yesterdays news pal

drunkenstepfather
they never cared

drunkenstepfather
they never cared

Matthew Sobel
ur on some pathetic shit, that like ur rap
its not working, be insulting
*thats
and stop linking to ugly fat women and little girls its creepy and ur gunna end up on a pedo watch list
you should post this on ur site and show ppl how i completely ruined you

drunkenstepfather
i feel so ruined

I guess I am a pussy. Speaking of pussy here are the Jessica Simpson Cameltoe pics….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

Dec

I am – Paris Hilton Strips for Midgets of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t really know what the fuck is going on in these pics. My guess is as good as yours and I am not going to make a stupid joke about how she’s got a new fetish or how this is her little brother they keep in the basement who only gets to go out around Christmas time and brass poles is a Christmas Tradition at the Hilton’s just like watching Paris get slammed by Greek guys is an Easter tradition, because Greeks are Orthodox and Easter is huge for them. A little known fact about Paris Hilton’s career is that her dad was behind the sex tape, I’m not talking behind the concept but behind the camera, at least that’s the story I heard.

Speaking of brass poles, I added a strippers to my AIM after I convinced her to give me her contact while getting a lap dance. I asked her what she did on christmas, she said that she worked. It’s the best night at the strip club because the guys who go there are the core strip club fans. They are lonely, horny and willing to splurge on a Christmas present for themselves to try to make themselves happy. This usually means offering the stripper they took 10 lapdances from some extra money for sex back at their place. Either way, Christmas is a time for miracles, and this stripper on my AIM got her own kind of miracle when her title went for dancer to hooker, but it’s Christmas so I guess it doesn’t count, she just see herself as a charity worker…

Speaking of whores, here’s the Paris Pics….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

Dec

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

446 Comments »

I am watching an Oprah rerun because I have nothing better to do and I only get one channel. It’s kind of a reoccurring theme in my life. Janet Jackson is on and she calls her mother “Mother”. I find that really creepy, like Norman Bates creepy and it could have something to do with why people said MJ like to touch little boys, but we all know he’s innocent. Either way, I am on vacation, I refuse to put more energy into my post than this. It’s called being lazy.

Someone I know told me I need to go on Prozac, it will make me happy, but I am concerned that if it makes me calm/sane/etc, I’ll abandon all of you and I’d hate for that to happen. I’d rather just self-medicate with alcohol so in planning my New Year’s Eve resolution, I’m thinking of putting “Drink More” on the list. I am also thinking of starting smoking again since I quit last year and 2006 was shitty. I guess that’s the opposite of what most people set as resolutions, but at least I know that I can follow-through on mine with little to no effort.

That’s the story I heard and here are my steplinks…

When Idiot Americans Travel, They always cause a scene. This dude takes a Roman Bath…
GO

This is a PartyHardcore Compilation and it’s NSFW
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart…
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Hot Game Of Strip Poker
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LastNightsParty Goes Swimming and it’s Hot
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LastNightsParty Does a Lookin Good Sweetheart and It’s Hot
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Cameron Diaz Jan 07 GQ Pics
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I Call This “Prom King and Queen” (NSFW)
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Some Christina Model Sets on Photobucket. I have no Idea who she is or if these sets are worth your time but if you’re the virgin I think you are, then you’ll love them.
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Naked Girl From a French Movie Video
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Here’s a Little RIP James Brown and Joss Stone Video
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Some Nude Asian Restaurant Action
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Marisa Miller for Sauvage Swimwear and It’s Sexy
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Britney Spears is a Sex Addict
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The Jew who Founded Facebook Turned Down 1.6 Billion Dollars for His Site…I Turned Down $50 for my Site…Kinda the same thing.
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Alyssa Milano’s Lap Dance Scene from Charmed
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Brooke Hogan Humiliates Herself on Howard Stern
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Kim Kardashian May Have a Sex Tape Coming Out Soon Thanks To Some Black Dude Trying To Launch His Career
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Top Moments of 2006 According to A Homeless Dude found in Times Square…
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Tara Reid Bikini Pics
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I am in love with Yuliya Mayarchuk
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Victoria Beckham’s Nipples vs. Jennifer Aniston’s Nipples..
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Here’s a Christmas Cartoon For You
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Sam Heuston From Big Brother UK Crotchless Panty Upskirt
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Something Called “MY FIRST SEX TOY”
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Photobucket Nudity
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Help Choose This Year’s Attention Whore
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FHM Does Amateur Porn…
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We Call This Daveed: Mission Space
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Here’s a Drunk Brazilian on the News
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Meat is Neat T-shirt For You To Buy
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Here’s Conjoined Twin Story
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If you want to get laid on New Years Eve, This Will Help You Meet and Bed The Drunken Slut of Choice..
GO

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2006

Dec

I am – Pam Anderson Christmas Upskirt of the Day

10 Comments »

Here are some Christmas pics of Pam Anderson showing her panties to the world, with a glass of champagne, which is pretty weak considering we’ve all seen her goods violated by Tommy Lee. I don’t know if these are recent pics or not, I’m pretty out of the loop and I guess so are you, considering you’re reading this site….

I guess since I have a commitment to you unappreciative virgins, I should tell you about my Boxing Day…Nothing really eventful happen, I had a 20 dollar bill in my pocket that I was planning on spending on my Christmas shopping because I like a deal and I actually thought about giving the family gifts this year even though they hate me. I went to a lingerie store in hopes of finding a couple of cheap g-strings for the stepdaughters, I like to keep them nice and slutty in the event they ever meet a rich guy who can sponsor me. That left me with 14 dollars that I took to the Casino in hopes of making a million dollars, I figured it’s never too late for a christmas miracle and I was annoyed of the crowds, despite being poor and needing to shop for a deal, all these other fuckers were just cheap and I find bargain hunting pretty fucking tacky. Either way, I lost all the money at the Casino, but got some old lady in a purple jump suit to give me a lift home all I had to do was stand by her for 2 hours because she was convinced I was her good luck charm.

Speaking of old ladies, here’s them there Pam Anderson Pics…I am not sure what the hell is holding her umberella but with a suit that color he must be Hindu.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

Dec

I am – Jessia Biel Bikini Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

I am still on vacation and it seems that Jessica Biel is too. My Vacation consists of me sitting on my ass in my shitty one bedroom apartment, her vacation is a little more intense and luxurious. Lucky for you she wore a white bikini and with white bikinis come full vaginal definition.

I am pretty sure I’ve seen these pictures before, I recognize her stupid tennis game, but I’ll post them because everyone else is and it’s still Christmas to me. I don’t really have much more to say about this because I am on vacation and my vacation isn’t that much different from my everyday life so go fuck yourself if you’re complaining, I can’t tell, because we have a pretty one-sided relationship. I did liveblog my Christmas but haven’t decided if I should bother posting it. I realize that few people read what I write. RIP Gerald Ford.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Unsorted

2006

Dec

I am – Faith Hill Does Christmas…of the Day

3 Comments »

I am not sure what’s going on in these pics, all I know is that santa has no pants on and she’s rockin out in a Mrs Claus outfit. I was going to say that I only know what you know, but realized that you are all idiots and probably don’t know anything.

I don’t have time to post today, because my wife has put me on a mission to shoplift. She assumes that if there are as many people as the TV says there is in the malls, that I’ll have no problem ripping off the stores. The TV is her link to the outside world. I am not actually going to rob any stores, cuz my wife isn’t hot enough to go to jail for, and because I know they hire tons of extra security, but I will be taking advantage of this escape opportunity to watch hot girls trying on tight clothes. That means I won’t be back til later and this is just a little something to yuletide you over. That was a lame holiday joke that you won’t find funny. Either way, I hope you Jews had a Merry X-Mas and I’ll think about posting my X-Mas day live-blog for you later.

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