I am trying to get into the shower so I can go outside for a bit. I need to wash because I can smell my ass as I type this and that is gross even though I love my stink. Winter is going to be here soon and I wasted my whole summer trying to make myself famous with this site. Too much computer is the devil.

Then these Steven Tyler and his slut pictures made their way into my inbox and I had to post them. I hate Aerosmith, but anyone who rock’s those pants with a young bitch by his side has got to be a rockstar. I consider most people who have the balls to dress like fools to be rockstars, like the homeless dude down the street from me who wears a Year 2000 Gold Top Hat every fucking day. I always tell him he’s a star. Steven Tyler is actually a rockstar though. Now look at the pics and deal with this shitty post. I haven’t eaten yet because of you.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

These are some brand new Victoria Beckham Nipples for the day. Because all the lame sites were writing about her “fake” nip slip yesterday, and unlike virgin’s, I don’t zoom into ULTRA HIGH QUALITY pics, looking for a little areola to get off to. I wait for the nipple to smack me in the face like in these pictures. I guess bitch is striving to get some male attention because when your husband is a poofter it’s hard to feel desirable or sexy. Nothing a little sheer top won’t change. I could cum to titty back in 1990, but I’m so desenitized I can’t even get it up anymore. Speaking of not getting it up scroll past the Beckham pics for MUNG’s post of the day. He’s like the credits at the end of the movie. Only the losers read them.

BONUS: Beckham’s Mom and Fat Sister. I Guess when growing up, she was the Ball and He was the Player

And Now Mung:

Today must be my birthday. I am pretty sure my birthday was 3 months ago, but apparently not. I could have sworn that 3 months ago I was wearing a birthday hat, sitting on perverts row alone with a Strawberry Daquiri in hand, watching a pregnant toothless indian dancing to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin”, but apparently not. You see, the reason I think it is my birthday today is because I opened my e-mail and found these little gems. Now usually Christina doesn’t do much for my pathetic excuse for a child’s penis because she normally looks like an abused hooker on meth, but these pictures made my testicles tingle and my underwear sticky. I have decided to print these photos out and post them on my headboard, that way when I am making love to the hole in my mattress that I packed with lean ground beef, it will sorta feel like I am making sweet passionate love to her beaten up mickey mouse club vagina.

Happy Birthday to me. Now go fuck off.

MUNG

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Here are some pics of Lohan covering her broken wrist. I’d like to wish her a speedy recovery and to remember when jerking off herself or others, she can always rock the other hand. I have read a few articles on people with medical fetishes , there’s a whole community based on getting off to people in casts or on stretchers. Now, I know you can’t control what gives you a boner and I guess this shit is harmless in the grand scheme of thing, just don’t let your one night stand see the mock-doctor’s office that you’ve set up in your basement to live out the fantasy. I have a feeling that will not go over as well as you hope. I also realize that the chances of you being able to afford a medical table and equipment is about as likely as you being able to land a one night stand. That’s why I am not worried. Have you seen the movie Crash, about cops and car accidents that won an academy award while sucking my cock, I’m talking the other Crash that was about people who get off to cripples and accident victims. Well if that’s your fetish, a broken wrist to Lohan is like a head on collision, leaving you paralized to the avereage person. She’s over-dramatic like that.

Speaking of movies, I found this movie idea on my old hard drive. I am not going to lie, I have wanted to write a movie the last 10 years, and after reading this idea, you’ll realize why I am sitting in a shitty apartment writing this post and not the creepy dude next to Lohan in these pics.

Character driven film showing the events that follow in a man and woman’s life after a drunken one-night stand results in pregnancy. The film compare the man and woman’s views in dealing with this situation. The woman wants to keep the baby and has baby showers, shopes for baby clothes and chooses the baby’s names, while attempting to get closer to the father, while the man wants to get rid of the burden and plots different ways to avoid her, including moving and changing his name. He decides the best strategy is to try to force her to miscarry. In trying to eliminate the baby, the man ends up falling in love with her, they have a shotgun wedding and live happily ever after.

After reading that, I don’t know why I haven’t been signed yet. That’s a genius fucking story. I call it a love story of today’s generation. Now look at the Lohan pics while I sit her bitter that everyone is out to get me.

PS – I am only posting my next post after I see 10 comments in this post. That’s how my cue is gonna work. Go fuck yourself.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Here are some pics of Lohan covering her broken wrist. I’d like to wish her a speedy recovery and to remember when jerking off herself or others, she can always rock the other hand. I have read a few articles on people with medical fetishes , there’s a whole community based on getting off to people in casts or on stretchers. Now, I know you can’t control what gives you a boner and I guess this shit is harmless in the grand scheme of thing, just don’t let your one night stand see the mock-doctor’s office that you’ve set up in your basement to live out the fantasy. I have a feeling that will not go over as well as you hope. I also realize that the chances of you being able to afford a medical table and equipment is about as likely as you being able to land a one night stand. That’s why I am not worried. Have you seen the movie Crash, no about cops and car accidents that won an academy award while sucking my cock, I’m talking the other Crash that was about people who get off to cripples and accident victims. Well if that’s your fetish, a broken wrist to Lohan is like a head on collision, leaving you paralized to the avereage person. She’s over-dramatic like that.

Speaking of movies, I found this movie idea on my old hard drive. I am not going to lie, I have wanted to write a movie the last 10 years, and after reading this idea, you’ll realize why I am sitting in a shitty apartment writing this post and not the creepy dude next to Lohan in these pics.

Character driven film showing the events that follow in a man and woman’s life after a drunken one-night stand results in pregnancy. The film compare the man and woman’s views in dealing with this situation. The woman wants to keep the baby and has baby showers, shopes for baby clothes and chooses the baby’s names, while attempting to get closer to the father, while the man wants to get rid of the burden and plots different ways to avoid her, including moving and changing his name. He decides the best strategy is to try to force her to miscarry. In trying to eliminate the baby, the man ends up falling in love with her, they have a shotgun wedding and live happily ever after.

After reading that, I don’t know why I haven’t been signed yet. That’s a genius fucking story. I call it a love story of today’s generation. Now look at the Lohan pics while I sit her bitter that everyone is out to get me.

PS – I am only posting my next post after I see 10 comments in this post. That’s how my cue is gonna work. Go fuck yourself.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

I am watching Oprah and she is doing a lesbian roadtrip in a Chevy with Gayle. I love watching her being followed by a whole crew/entourage with maps and ear pieces, giving her directions. Not quite the road trip you’d be going on, but then again you aren’t Oprah.

I got this email from some kind of genius:

So I have been given a few celeb phone numbers and I have been calling and texting them from my neighbor’s cell phone, since I can’t really afford one. He’s in on this with me because I am sure what we are doing isn’t illegal, it’s too funny to be illegal. I decided to send Paris, Nicole, Kimmy Stewart and Lohan a message to make them think they were getting “accidental” messages from a man to his mistress. This is what I wrote:

I miss you today more than I did yesterday. Our love burns my soul when I am not with you. The first time we kissed, i knew we were connected at the soul. I wish it happened before I met my cunt wife, then I could always be with you….

The first response came about 10 mins later from some menacing dude named Vinnie who called me to interrogate me about who I am and how I should be scared of him. I was uncomfortable with him calling me at 4 am. I was in bed and wasn’t feeling the conversation so I didn’t rip into him like I normally would have. I couldn’t record it – which is too bad because it was funny but that’s just what happens when you are me.

Paris Replies:

Who is this?

I reply and go to bed :

What’s up with pretending you don’t know! I am in bed my angel, wishing you were here instead of this pig of a woman. Did you just have some cha-chi motherfucker call me as a joke? Talk soon. Cuddles and Love.

I send this earlier this afternoon:

Angel…sorry I took so long to get back to you. I had to do damage control with the wife. She read last night’s msg saying she was a cunt. She wasn’t made about us though! I will be in Maryland next weekened to be with you. I can’t wait. Love you.

Paris Replies:

Who do you think you’re writing?

I reply:

Brenda, quit messing around. We met in July when I came to Maryland. We’ve been in myspace love since February. We ate crab. You’re so silly. Last night you had Vinnie call me and now this. You are a real joker and they’s why I am leaving my wife for you.

Paris Replies:

This isn’t Brenda, I don’t know what ur talking about. I’ve never been to maryland so don’t leave your wife for nothing.

So I write:

What do you mean this isn’t Brenda this is the number you gave me on Friday. You said it was your new cell. Are you telling me that she is trying to avoid me? I was ready to drop everything for her and I still am cuz I know you’re testing me. So funny! This is why I love you.

That’s probably the end of that. Speaking of end – here are some steplinks to end your day with a smile: