I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

24

Aug

I am – Rosie Perez's Mexican Tits of the Day

RosiePerezTOP.jpg

Like all good Mexicans, Rosie Perez is getting fat. Speaking of Mexicans, I just found my new favorite site and it proves that kids are fucking retards when it comes to sex and NEED to be taught sex ed in schools, possibly by me. I am not that I am against a nation of Pregnant Infected Teens, but I am against a nation of idiots, not that I am not an idiot. I just know that I can’t get pregnant from giving a handjob…I will admit that it took me a few nights at the truckstop to learn that though. Either way, I can’t really get pregnant from anything, I was just speaking as if I was a girl. It happens sometimes and I blame the impotency. It fucks with my head. So click on these links and remember although it may look like my stepLINKS of the day….But it’s not. I tricked you, Asshole.


This Girl’s Got Green Poo
GO

This Girl’s Gone Fishing In Her Cooch
GO

This Girl’s Scared She Got Pregnant from Dry Sex and She Doesn’t Back Down
GO

This Girl’s Got Discharge
GO

This Dude’s Got the Right Idea Cuz I’ve Always Told Virgin’s That Taking It Up the Ass Doesn’t Count as Sex and It Got Me No Where
GO

This Girl’s Got Pain When she Pees, But She’s only had sex with a Virgin, What Can It Be??
GO

This Dude’s Cumming All Kinds from Dry Sex, I’d Hate To see His In-Vagina Performance
GO

This Girl’s Scared of Being Pregnant Cuz Her BF Fingered Her, Slut
GO

This Dude’s Got A Thing For Young Sluts, Maybe a Little Too Young, No Never Too Young…
GO

Post Script: If you find any funnier links, send them in, I love this shit. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

24

Aug

I am – Penny Lancaster See Through Shirt of the Day

PennyLancasterTOP.jpg

Penny Lancaster is Rod Stewarts Baby Momma. She’s just another tall blonde model who the little guy’s got with and impregnated over the course of his lifetime and there’s really nothing wrong with having a specific type of woman, especially when you’re a superstar rockstar supernova. Just because my specific type is anything with a vagina, or anything with a flesh wound that looks like and can double as a vagina doesn’t mean I am right.

Speaking of flesh wounds, here’s an update from Little Princess. For those of you who care. She is the girl all of you seem to hate and I don’t really blame you for hating her. I had no real opinion of her since I didn’t read her useless article, but I do get her emails 4 times a day, and they are starting to make hate her because they go on and on and on about nothing. I am not a fucking psychiatrist and I can’t help you through this fucking issue that is driving you to shove bottles in your bloody unemployed cunt. Anyway, she wants to send in more pics and write another post. I will probably let her because she makes me look better. Posting her shit is like a deuce who only hangs with 300 pounders to make herself look better. I like when you motherfuckers show me appreciation and puttng my shit up against worse shit makes my shit look golden. Point of the story is, I am easily bought with nude pics, even if you’re ugly, fat, scary or retarded. So here’s her email update.

From what i gather from this onslaught of hate mail and verbal historectomy

a. i should not refer to them as readers because they cannot really read
b. i am an ugly cunt who should sterilize and kill herself (which i agree with but not the ugly part, but i agree those are ugly photos of myself but they’re from three years ago and in person im a beautiful flower of a woman, but yea i should sterilize and kill myself)
c. i should learn how to write.
d. im not funny.
e. you should have cancer.
f. i managed to get a bigger reaction than a lot of things, and im really glad it was hateful, i like hate mail more than anything, it means people CARE.
g. i swear too much. (fuck that im not changing it, i like having the vocabulary of a 6 year old plus swears)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

24

Aug

I am – Kelly Monaco at the Venus Razor Legs Party of the Day

VenusKellyMonacoTOp.jpg

Gillette Venus Razors get all “thas some next shit” on us in their marketing strategy by throwing some “legs” contest which I can probably means that bitches parade around with their legs that they just finished shaving with their Gillette Venus Razors, which has gots to be “the jam” because in 2007, legs are gonna be “what’s good”, replacing the standard Tits and Ass or Ass and Tits depending on what you consider “chickchismo”. That means that your fat midget amputee of a girlfriend with big floppy tits who only fucks you because no one else will talk to her and who you only fuck because no one else will talk to you, is out of style according to me. Either way, this bitch Kelly Monaco shows up in a skirt that goes down to her fucking ankles, I know she’s showin tit, but this is a Legs Event and at a Legs event, wearing an Ommish Dress is like going to a KKK meeting with an Adidas Tracksuit, a clock around your neck, boombox on your shoulder and Jordan’s on your Feet. At least her friend who I have never heard of, but may be the contest winner has the right idea. Slut’s got her shorts all in place and shit. It’s pretty obvious that next time Gillette pulls this shit off, it should be in collaboration with me and we will throw the Gillette Venus Too Cheap to Get a Brazilian Contest. There’s nothing I love more than a razor burnt cunt. Look at the fucking pictures and stop expecting quality out of me because this is as good as it fucking gets, and trust me it ain’t “SICK” or “Da Bomb”. Cuddles.


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

Picture-13.jpg

The site got hit hard today and I don’t really understand why. My tech friend told me that the load on teh servers was like having 20 lanes of traffic merge into one lane or something like that, making the site all AIDS-Like. I also had some dude bug me about putting up a banner to his videos on the left hand nav bar, so it’s a test to see if you guys dig the content or not. IF you don’t, I’ll consider taking it down, but I am pretty lazy, sometimes just getting up to get another drink seems impossible. Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie is back from her world travels, if you don’t know who that is, read the archives. She stopped by yesterday to celebrate the non-cancer and even showed me some nipple, not that I am into that. My fridge of a wife was in the other room snoring, so it wasn’t as hot as you’d think.

Either way, I love my Harry Morton Retard pic, I think I will get it printed on t-shirts as soon as I have enough money. I have to pay my rent, food, internet, server for this site and pay off this fucking stolen lap top before I can do much. I guess what this site doesn’t bring me in dollars, it brings me in happiness, stress, ulcers and sense of failure and uselessness.

Click these fucking links, I found them for you, Cuddles.

A Really Hot Bodybuilding Woman For You Closet Cases, And She’s Pullin’ Down Her Classy Leopard Print Thong GO

The Hottest Women of Japanese Pop GO

Alize Is not Just a Drink for Gangsters, It’s Also a French Slutty Singer and this is her Gallery GO

Here Are A Bunch of “Funny” Pictures, If You Have Absolutely No Concept of Funny GO

Andy Roddick’s Fly is Down While Doing a Tennis Demo, It’s Only Gay if You Get a Boner GO

Fran Drescher’s See Through Dress Scares Me GO

Ashlee Simpson is Worth a Round or Two GO

Some Shitty Australian Idol’s Got a Solid Set of Tits and Looks Like a Porn Star (I am Linking This for a Reader, I am nice like that) GO

Aria Giovanni is Dressed Like a Cowboy, Actually She’s Not Really Dressed at All, That Cowboy Hat Wearing Cunt GO

Adrian Brody’s Jewish GF in a Bikini GO

I Don’t Know Who Stacie Orrico is But I Do Want To See Her Naked GO

Liz Viscous is an Internet Celebrity, My Friend Who Likes Masturbating Jerked Off to Her Eating Out Some Bitch, He Says He Likes Masturbating, This Is The Link GO

These are the Girls of Napkin Nights and Some of them are Drunk, Making it Easier to Fantasize about them actually being willing to sleep with you GO

This is a Jen Sterger Fan Site, Now All You Need to Do is Figure Out Who the fuck Bitch is , so that you can be a fan. This is her Gallery GO

Here’s some Kelly Ripa Being an Idiot Montage to Jon Benet’s Killer’s Favorite Song GO

Last Night’s Party Does a Sexy Photoshoot in a Greyhound Bus, Cuz Hipster’s Can’t Afford to Fly…. GO

Girls Wrestling in Chocolate GO

Here’s the New Cast of Dancing With the Stars for You Faggots GO

PostYourGirl on a Boat Showing Off her Cooch GO

Look at picture number 9 and think Jon Benet Ramsey GO

This Dude Documents Celebrity Finds from the Dollar Store GO

Here’s Some European Bloggin’ From WRG GO

Some Big Breasted Girl and Her Asian Friend Eat Cheetos Seductively GO

Some Dirty Cam Whore to Turn You On GO

Some Ugly Girl Flashes the Camera Pretending to Be a Cam Whore GO

Some Fat Ass Slut in a Bikini Dancing For the Camera Video GO

This is the Worst Fucking Topless Dancer I Have Ever Fucking Seen GO

Get Yourself a Billy Doll Homo GO

Bianca Ryan From America’s Got Talent is the Next Jon Benet GO

Hey DJ AM, Nicole Richie Is Fucking Some Dude Named Brody, Here Are The Pics to Prove It. I Bet His Dick Looks Huge Up Against Her Ass, I Bet After Sex She Has To Stuff Her Uterus Back Inside Her GO

Remember To Check Out the Stepfather Site of the Day GO

Remember To Check Out Andi Pink In Her Panties Gallery GO

I Haven’t Reached My Million Myspace Friends and I Blame You – Asshole GO

I am looking for a web designer, If any of you are a web designer and CHEAP Email Me .

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – Lohan and her Retarded and Rich Boyfriend of the Day

LohanTOPFINAL.jpg

There was a time in my life where I used to stalk Lindsay Lohan. I would have my jewish neighbor call her up and read a message I wrote to her. He would edit them to music and a picture slideshow of the cunt in action. One of them was seen by 100,000 people. Then I realized that it was a waste of time to stalk this cunt because she never returned my motherfuckin calls, and because no one found it funny but me. The original reason I started the stalking shit was because I thought it would be a good marketing strategy. I figured that enough ppl would take it seriously and send me a restraining order, getting my site on every major News and Entertainment show. Then bitch goes out and gets herself a real stalker and he takes away all my fucking glory. This is a Jon Benet Ramsey Tranny Killer of the day situation. He’s getting coverage coming out of his ass, first class plane tickets from Thailand, I was even watching Access Hollywood the other day and they’re interviewing the cast of CSI or Criminal Minds or some shit for their expert opinion. That’s like if the same Jon Benet Ramsey Killer got his sex change done by the cast of Grey’s Anatomy. I just turned on the TV, hoping to watch The View, to see Rosy O’Donnel back in the Lime-Light, because she’s not as lady like as Jon Benet’s killer and Grey’s Anatomy is on instead. That’s pretty much the reason this post took the turn that it did. I know it’s a lot of garbage to read, but I cropped the retard header pic and I find it pretty funny. So laugh at that and ignore my writing. It wouldn’t be a first. Asshole.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – Lily Allen is Shitty Fucking Music of the Day

LilyAllenTOP.jpg

I pretend I have my finger on the pulse of what’s going on when I am talking to drunken people my age and older in the park and to them I know what’s up in pop culture, but that’s not the point. The point is that I can’t pretend that I know what’s up here, it’s pretty fucking clear that I am a total hack at this shit. However, I do know that this bitch Lily Allen is the next big thing to come out of the U.K. in music and everyone’s got a fucking boner for her. I know this cuz my stepdaughter rocks her album everyday, over and fucking over. This bitch sings bubbly ironic songs about not being able to cum with her bf cuz of his small dick, she sings about only being pretty if she fits into a certain jean size and looks like Kate Moss, she sings about her brothers beating a dude who tries fuck her, she sings about….it really doesn’t matter what she sings about, she will always fucking suck. But unfortunately for us, teenage girls everywhere decide how rich a bitch becomes, and I predict she’ll be around for a while. She’s already stirring up shit in the media. Here are some things going on in her useless life.

She has a lyric saying she wishes she looked like Cheryl Tweedy, and Cheryl Tweedy thought she was serious, so this bitch set the record straight:

She said to Fametastic recently: “I don’t want to look like Cheryl Tweedy! It’s tongue in cheek, it’s meant to be ironic.�

“I don’t have anything against her as a human being but I think the portrayal of her being the right thing for kids to look up to is wrong.

“It was a joke that not many people got. Of course nobody really wants to look like Cheryl, they just think they do.�

And she’s pickin’ fights with Madonna:

The Smile singer recently caused controversy by naming Madge as “the most overrated person in pop history” in an interview with GQ magazine.

Speaking to Virgin Radio, she insisted: “I did not really feel that I was offensive. Someone asked me a question and I answered it.”

And she’s realizes that she sucks:

Asked about how she is handling fame, Lily added: “While it’s lasting it’s great. I’m sure it will end some day, maybe one day soon.”

And she’s pickin’ fights with Peaches Geldof, Bob Geldof’s piece of shit daughter, he’s supposed to be a big deal in the UK:

The Smile singer allegedly confronted Peaches after hearing that she had branded her a “cokehead”.

An onlooker told the newspaper: “It was disgusting. Peaches was watching the Cuban Brothers with her boyfriend when Lily spotted her and stormed right over. She got in really close behind Peaches and gobbed on the back of her shoes before walking off.”

Lily accused Peaches’ father Bob of being a “hypocrite” on her Myspace page earlier this year.


Visit Her Myspace By CLICKIN’ THIS LINK and Leave Her Comments of HATE!!

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – Melanie Griffith Walkin’ The Kids of the Day

MelanieGriffithKIDSTOP.jpg

I love teenage angst more than I love teenage pregnancy and I fucking love teenage pregnancy more than I love most things. I am not going to sit here and say I know anything about teen angst, cuz I am not a psychologist, I can say that it’s fucking funny though because I do have a sense of humor. Teens get their panties all knotted up between their newly pubescent mound for no fucking reason. I assume that it’s got to do with being all hormonally fucked up but probably also has something to do with trying to find their place in society and their own voice in the world by distancing themselves from their family with anger and embarrassment. So instead of not giving a fuck, they become hypersensitive and angry. I am assuming that Melanie Griffith’s self absorbed life has fucked her teenage daughter up the ass with some kind of spoiled rich kid issues cuz by the looks of these pics, she’d rather be rippin lines in her friend’s basement (like her daddy and mommy did in the Miami Vice days, before a bitter divorce leaving her emotionally shattered) than walking down the street with her whore of a mother. I guess it really doesn’t matter what I think, except that I think this post sucks just as much as you do, so we got something in common. Let’s cuddle.

In Teen Pregnancy News, this is a message I sent to a pregnant teen on myspace, she hasn’t responded yet:

I want you to do me a favor please. Take a picture of your box before and after you give birth. I want to see how much damage is done

When it goes back to the original before shot shape – we can cuddle.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – Melanie Griffith Walkin' The Kids of the Day

MelanieGriffithKIDSTOP.jpg

I love teenage angst more than I love teenage pregnancy and I fucking love teenage pregnancy more than I love most things. I am not going to sit here and say I know anything about teen angst, cuz I am not a psychologist, I can say that it’s fucking funny though because I do have a sense of humor. Teens get their panties all knotted up between their newly pubescent mound for no fucking reason. I assume that it’s got to do with being all hormonally fucked up but probably also has something to do with trying to find their place in society and their own voice in the world by distancing themselves from their family with anger and embarrassment. So instead of not giving a fuck, they become hypersensitive and angry. I am assuming that Melanie Griffith’s self absorbed life has fucked her teenage daughter up the ass with some kind of spoiled rich kid issues cuz by the looks of these pics, she’d rather be rippin lines in her friend’s basement (like her daddy and mommy did in the Miami Vice days, before a bitter divorce leaving her emotionally shattered) than walking down the street with her whore of a mother. I guess it really doesn’t matter what I think, except that I think this post sucks just as much as you do, so we got something in common. Let’s cuddle.

In Teen Pregnancy News, this is a message I sent to a pregnant teen on myspace, she hasn’t responded yet:

I want you to do me a favor please. Take a picture of your box before and after you give birth. I want to see how much damage is done

When it goes back to the original before shot shape – we can cuddle.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – Little Princesses’s Early Morning Reflections of the Day

WEIRDTOP.jpg

About 2 weeks ago, I got an email from some slut who claimed to be a fan of the site. I made her famous a while ago by posting her myspace profile and ripping into her for not having a dad or some shit and she’s been reading ever since. She used to write for a pretty major website and they fired her and/or shut down the site she was working for. So she emailed me telling me how her writing will be a perfect addition to Stepfather and that my readers will love her probably because people in her everyday life are scared of her. So I did what any opportunist of a blogger would do and told her if she sends me nudes I would post her stupid article.

This is how I make all my great editorial decisions, blindly and in exchange for pics. So here is her article, leave your comments to see if I keep her around and if you make it to the bottom, there’s a suprise in it for you. That was bribery in case it went over your head.

This fucking show. Goddammit. I HATE THIS SHIT. Every fucking morning I wake up at like 7 am for a few hours and The Today Show is fucking on. At least that blowhole who’s mouth is worth nothing more than to stuff a huge black cock in, Katie Couric, is not on it anymore. I once read in a tabloid that she was really cheap, even though she’s like super rich, and it made me want to kill her. She just seems like a huge phony bitch. Unlike other bitches like Martha Stewart, who seems like a tough no nonsense cunt that could take it up the ass by 8 men and have them all hurting in the end. I bet she was the main bitch in prison and kept all the whores, crack addicts, black widows, post partum depression nuts who drove their kids into the lake, and serial killers in line. But I bet she was nice about it.

Anyway, back to this crap. The fucking Today Show. I have the unfortunate sleeping schedule to wake up to it almost every day. I swear to god, I do not think I can recall EVER IN MY LIFE witnessing or hearing stupider things than I see on this fucking show daily. Right now, I am not kidding, they are running a story about how your house can make you fat. Ok and I’m not talking about like the contents in your referigerator, they are saing if a tv or a chair is in the wrong place, you’ll get fat. It’s fucking ridiculous. They just did a segment about 20 minutes ago about medication making you fat. Oh yea and they’re not talking about fung suei or whatever the fuck its called. They have some stupid skinny white bitch talking about how you should move your tv two inches to the left because it will make you eat less. It’s fucking dumb. I will not go into this country’s stupid fascination with not being fat because there’s way too much to write, but the fact that your house can make you fat…. come on!!! I have an idea, how about getting off of your bloated asses while shoving eggs and pancackes in your mouth and go running, and get run over by a car while you’re at it.

Oh and they WILL NEVER have an overweight woman hosting the show. Of course they have that fat darkee Al Roker who got his big bloated stomach stapled shut so his repulsive sweaty negro body could stop growing larger and larger. They always have him on there sweating his fat ass off cooking food with idiot chefs who run trendy New York restaurants. My favorite is when his fat (i keep referring to him as a black man and I think I may be more of a stereotypical black person than he, so from now on I will refer to him as a lilly white cracker) cracker ass does the voice overs for the geriatric dying pieces of shit who send their photos in to the today show (or probably their families do because I’m sure these old fucks have no fucking idea that they even still exist in this world) and Al Roker says “Oh, and this is Betty Johnson, she is 103 years old today, she enjoys playing bingo and weekly all you can eat buffets at Red Lobster. This is Julie Davis, she enjoys sitting on the porch and feeding pigeons. This is Esther Smith, she enjoys watching her cunt rot off and shitting in her depends while waiting to die. Her family sent this picture in because they are currently emptying out her bank account and she is too busy watching her limbs rot off to notice, and they felt a little bad so they figured if her cataract filled eyes might be able to make out her dying image on the television she might forget for a second that she should have died about 50 years ago”. The latter I have of course never heard his fat cracker ass say, but isn’t that really what’s happening here?

Now if I am lucky enough, and my insomnia lets me stay up to 9 am, the hour when most cunts are stuffing their fat asses into their cubicles for the day, or flattening their fat asses onto the couch just like me, I get the opportunity to witness something that is about as much as a pop cultural nightmare phenomenon as the Today Show, and that is Oprah. I like Oprah. I like watching that cocksucking monstrosity balloon up and down with her weight, and listening to her talk about her faggot husband because she is so obviously a huge fucking dyke, but unlike that other repulsive monster, Rosie O’Donnell, she does not admit to it and adopt like 25 kids to witness her life spirlaling downward. I wait and wait for Oprah to have a show about tragedy (and I usually don’t have to wait long, because they’re almost always about some unfortunate retard). I don’t like the shows where she has stupid celebrities on there and sucks their assholes, those shows are boring; although I did obsess about Tom Cruise jumping on that fat bitches couch for about two weeks because he’s such a fucking psycho, and I enjoyed him talking about how much he dominates his robot wife, Katie Holmes. And sometimes I will catch a show where she gives out something really dumb like a vacuum cleaner to everyone in the audience and I enjoy watching all the fags and vaginas in her audience cum all over themselves for twenty minutes. But mostly I enjoy the tragedy.

I especially LOVE when she has rape victims on there, or victims of sexual assault. These people may have been sexually assaulted once, and I don’t know if they’re just stupid, or they really want to be on television, or they want a free trip to this shithole town Chicago, but they are raped a second and third time when they VOLUNTAIRLY sit on the same couch that Tom Cruise jumped up and down on with their ripped up cunts and assholes and answer Oprah’s perverse questions about how many times they fucked their dad, where it happened, when it happened, for how long, how many holes he stuck it in, did he call you princess, did you tell anyone, why did you keep it a secret, and how low their self esteem must be and what a fucked up person they must have turned out to be and Oprah sits there and Boo hoo hoo’s about them for about 20 minutes as she is secretly creaming her underpants. After the 20 minutes is off, they are shooed off the stage, and put in a taxi and its back to their shitty life. Congradulations! Now 6 million people know your deepest, darkest secret!!! WASN’T THAT FUCKING THERAPEUTIC???

I really don’t know what is going on in these people’s heads. Do they have popcorn parties for when their show airs on tv and have all their friends and family over to listen them get interviewed by some bloated black bitch about how their father reamed their asshole and ran a child porn ring for 16 years? I mean what do these people do after the show? I can understand how it can be therapeutic to tell SOMEONE, perhaps a liscenced therapist,(even though most of them are fucking nuts anyway, hell I’m considered a social worker, scary huh?) about the trauma that they went through as a child, but sharing it with a self obsesssed celebrity who has no background in the medical field or dealing with mental health besides all of the fucking nuts that sit in her audience and on her chairs, and then subsequently sharing this deep dark secret with an unsympathetic 200 person studio audience who are all pissed off because they are not on the show where they win the car, and then after that sharing this secret with 6 million more people, including sick lunatics like me who write terrible things about them, or perverts at home who are jacking off to them with one finger up their ass, thinking about fucking children and how warm and moist the woman’s vagina was when she was 6, while writing tips down about how to start their own child porn business taking tips from the Opera guest seems a bit queer to me. What the hell is going on here? GOOD MORNING USA!!!!

That Looks WAY too long to read. If you did read it, you deserve a reward, and your reward is some exclusive pics of this whore covered in blood fucking a bottle. So, CLICK THIS LINK and remember that these pics creeped me the fuck out and are very NSFW. Cuddles.

Posted in:stepFAME|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – Little Princesses's Early Morning Reflections of the Day

WEIRDTOP.jpg

About 2 weeks ago, I got an email from some slut who claimed to be a fan of the site. I made her famous a while ago by posting her myspace profile and ripping into her for not having a dad or some shit and she’s been reading ever since. She used to write for a pretty major website and they fired her and/or shut down the site she was working for. So she emailed me telling me how her writing will be a perfect addition to Stepfather and that my readers will love her probably because people in her everyday life are scared of her. So I did what any opportunist of a blogger would do and told her if she sends me nudes I would post her stupid article.

This is how I make all my great editorial decisions, blindly and in exchange for pics. So here is her article, leave your comments to see if I keep her around and if you make it to the bottom, there’s a suprise in it for you. That was bribery in case it went over your head.

This fucking show. Goddammit. I HATE THIS SHIT. Every fucking morning I wake up at like 7 am for a few hours and The Today Show is fucking on. At least that blowhole who’s mouth is worth nothing more than to stuff a huge black cock in, Katie Couric, is not on it anymore. I once read in a tabloid that she was really cheap, even though she’s like super rich, and it made me want to kill her. She just seems like a huge phony bitch. Unlike other bitches like Martha Stewart, who seems like a tough no nonsense cunt that could take it up the ass by 8 men and have them all hurting in the end. I bet she was the main bitch in prison and kept all the whores, crack addicts, black widows, post partum depression nuts who drove their kids into the lake, and serial killers in line. But I bet she was nice about it.

Anyway, back to this crap. The fucking Today Show. I have the unfortunate sleeping schedule to wake up to it almost every day. I swear to god, I do not think I can recall EVER IN MY LIFE witnessing or hearing stupider things than I see on this fucking show daily. Right now, I am not kidding, they are running a story about how your house can make you fat. Ok and I’m not talking about like the contents in your referigerator, they are saing if a tv or a chair is in the wrong place, you’ll get fat. It’s fucking ridiculous. They just did a segment about 20 minutes ago about medication making you fat. Oh yea and they’re not talking about fung suei or whatever the fuck its called. They have some stupid skinny white bitch talking about how you should move your tv two inches to the left because it will make you eat less. It’s fucking dumb. I will not go into this country’s stupid fascination with not being fat because there’s way too much to write, but the fact that your house can make you fat…. come on!!! I have an idea, how about getting off of your bloated asses while shoving eggs and pancackes in your mouth and go running, and get run over by a car while you’re at it.

Oh and they WILL NEVER have an overweight woman hosting the show. Of course they have that fat darkee Al Roker who got his big bloated stomach stapled shut so his repulsive sweaty negro body could stop growing larger and larger. They always have him on there sweating his fat ass off cooking food with idiot chefs who run trendy New York restaurants. My favorite is when his fat (i keep referring to him as a black man and I think I may be more of a stereotypical black person than he, so from now on I will refer to him as a lilly white cracker) cracker ass does the voice overs for the geriatric dying pieces of shit who send their photos in to the today show (or probably their families do because I’m sure these old fucks have no fucking idea that they even still exist in this world) and Al Roker says “Oh, and this is Betty Johnson, she is 103 years old today, she enjoys playing bingo and weekly all you can eat buffets at Red Lobster. This is Julie Davis, she enjoys sitting on the porch and feeding pigeons. This is Esther Smith, she enjoys watching her cunt rot off and shitting in her depends while waiting to die. Her family sent this picture in because they are currently emptying out her bank account and she is too busy watching her limbs rot off to notice, and they felt a little bad so they figured if her cataract filled eyes might be able to make out her dying image on the television she might forget for a second that she should have died about 50 years ago”. The latter I have of course never heard his fat cracker ass say, but isn’t that really what’s happening here?

Now if I am lucky enough, and my insomnia lets me stay up to 9 am, the hour when most cunts are stuffing their fat asses into their cubicles for the day, or flattening their fat asses onto the couch just like me, I get the opportunity to witness something that is about as much as a pop cultural nightmare phenomenon as the Today Show, and that is Oprah. I like Oprah. I like watching that cocksucking monstrosity balloon up and down with her weight, and listening to her talk about her faggot husband because she is so obviously a huge fucking dyke, but unlike that other repulsive monster, Rosie O’Donnell, she does not admit to it and adopt like 25 kids to witness her life spirlaling downward. I wait and wait for Oprah to have a show about tragedy (and I usually don’t have to wait long, because they’re almost always about some unfortunate retard). I don’t like the shows where she has stupid celebrities on there and sucks their assholes, those shows are boring; although I did obsess about Tom Cruise jumping on that fat bitches couch for about two weeks because he’s such a fucking psycho, and I enjoyed him talking about how much he dominates his robot wife, Katie Holmes. And sometimes I will catch a show where she gives out something really dumb like a vacuum cleaner to everyone in the audience and I enjoy watching all the fags and vaginas in her audience cum all over themselves for twenty minutes. But mostly I enjoy the tragedy.

I especially LOVE when she has rape victims on there, or victims of sexual assault. These people may have been sexually assaulted once, and I don’t know if they’re just stupid, or they really want to be on television, or they want a free trip to this shithole town Chicago, but they are raped a second and third time when they VOLUNTAIRLY sit on the same couch that Tom Cruise jumped up and down on with their ripped up cunts and assholes and answer Oprah’s perverse questions about how many times they fucked their dad, where it happened, when it happened, for how long, how many holes he stuck it in, did he call you princess, did you tell anyone, why did you keep it a secret, and how low their self esteem must be and what a fucked up person they must have turned out to be and Oprah sits there and Boo hoo hoo’s about them for about 20 minutes as she is secretly creaming her underpants. After the 20 minutes is off, they are shooed off the stage, and put in a taxi and its back to their shitty life. Congradulations! Now 6 million people know your deepest, darkest secret!!! WASN’T THAT FUCKING THERAPEUTIC???

I really don’t know what is going on in these people’s heads. Do they have popcorn parties for when their show airs on tv and have all their friends and family over to listen them get interviewed by some bloated black bitch about how their father reamed their asshole and ran a child porn ring for 16 years? I mean what do these people do after the show? I can understand how it can be therapeutic to tell SOMEONE, perhaps a liscenced therapist,(even though most of them are fucking nuts anyway, hell I’m considered a social worker, scary huh?) about the trauma that they went through as a child, but sharing it with a self obsesssed celebrity who has no background in the medical field or dealing with mental health besides all of the fucking nuts that sit in her audience and on her chairs, and then subsequently sharing this deep dark secret with an unsympathetic 200 person studio audience who are all pissed off because they are not on the show where they win the car, and then after that sharing this secret with 6 million more people, including sick lunatics like me who write terrible things about them, or perverts at home who are jacking off to them with one finger up their ass, thinking about fucking children and how warm and moist the woman’s vagina was when she was 6, while writing tips down about how to start their own child porn business taking tips from the Opera guest seems a bit queer to me. What the hell is going on here? GOOD MORNING USA!!!!

That Looks WAY too long to read. If you did read it, you deserve a reward, and your reward is some exclusive pics of this whore covered in blood fucking a bottle. So, CLICK THIS LINK and remember that these pics creeped me the fuck out and are very NSFW. Cuddles.

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