I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

29

Aug

I am – Nicky Hilton's Fat Uterus of the Day

NickyHiltonTOP.jpg

I had a lot of random dreams last night, I normally don’t have dreams and if I do, I never talk about them because listening to someone go into details about their dreams is probably one of the most annoying things a person can do. It takes a real self-absorbed cunt to think people actually care about what they dreamt about, but since it’s my site, I can write about whatever I want, even when it’s self absorbed. The first dream was about me riding in a taxi that was being driven by my doctor, I ended up at a ski hill in my underwear. I went inside because of the cold was pissing me off and sat on a couch, when I stood up I saw that I left a red wine stain that came out of my ass. When I looked for my taxi driver doctor to ask why red wine colored shit was coming out of my ass, he was gone. Dream number 2 took place at a family BBQ where I bumped into Christina Aguilera. She fell in love with me and I never found out why she was at my BBQ, but she was fucking annoying. The last dream was the best, it was of me watching an infomercial selling mortgages or insurrance but the twist was that they were using ChildSuperModels (a site I saw on OPRAH and took out the link to because you were all calling me a child porn peddler) to sell something boring.

Speaking of boring, here are some pics of Nicky Hilton’s Gunt, Bubble Cunt, Ponch, Muff Gut, Fat Uterus, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. You know it’s always sexy on a girl in her early 20s, it means she’s either knocked up or bitch is on a one way trip to looking like a Wal Mart cashier. I am not even going to bring up her weak chin, because I am a nice guy. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Aug

I am – The Olsen Twins in Canada of the Day

OlsenTwinsCanada005.jpg
I used to hate these cunts. I used to get annoyed when the media started saying that they were hot. I got more annoyed when the masses of people who listen to what the media say followed their lead and started saying they were hot too. We were stuck with a society of people who thought 2 ugly bitches were hot all because some asshole fucked up in the editing room somewhere 2 years earlier. Either way, it reminded me of when I was in grade 7 and all the dudes I hung out with were into this girl who had grade 9 titties but looked like a fucking alien. I am talking a real fucking alien, with no chin, repressed eyes and horse hair. Bitch was built like a dude and probably weighed in 10 lbs more than I did. But being the 13 year old immigrant new to the school and unsure of myself or the english language, I went along with this shit. I used to obsess over this nasty bitch with the dudes in my class and thanks to all of us, this acne scab of a girl had a false sense of beauty. Now I don’t know where this thing is today, but I do know that it must have been a horrible reality check when she found out that she was a bloody shit stain on sexy later in life. I am a firm believer that ugly people need to know they are ugly to prepare themselves for the horrible society we live in. I am on a mission to let ugly people who think they are hot know the truth for the better of all people.

That said, I think the Olsen twins look fucking hot. I want to get both of them pregnant with my mouth at the same time. I want to be in on spending their hundreds of millions of dollars on luxurious things like new jogging pants and a new liver, I want to help encourage their drug addiction and eating disorders, but only after I am made beneficiary in their will. That’s the story I heard.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Aug

I am – FilthyWhore from YouTube of the Day

04-0232157900L.jpg

This bitch is a YouTube celebrity, which isn’t saying much but when mainstream media come looking for the next big thing, I am sure that they will end up on the most viewed youtube videos, because mainstream media is perceptive like that. They’ll sign her up and give her a book deal without even watching the garbage bitch produces. So I am hoping that this bitch never gets signed onto anything but maybe the sexual predators list, because let’s face it, there aren’t enough female sexual predators floating around. Her videos have had 250,000 views, about 245,000 more views that any of my stepTV Shit, another clear cut reason why I should quit what I do. However, I was going to write this post to one of her famous YouTube Videos, but I couldn’t go through with it because the bitch’s videos are that fucking bad. Instead, I leave you with a naked picture of her. I figured looking at body that would is to erections, what 3 week old kitchen garbage is to appetite. Either way, I like to think you are already sad enough and watching some fat emo gothic bitch telling stories no one cares about, would put you over the edge.

I know nothing about this cunt because I am not an investigative journalist, but I did find out that she used to take naked pics for money. I found a few message board posts of her saying that she needed money to pay her vet bills and her rent and that she was willing to take pics for money. I am guessing that these are some of the pics she took. I generally only like bitches who get naked for false promises of fame but I every hole is a goal. Cuddles.

Here is a Link to her Hardcore/ Cock Action Pics Go
Here is a Link To Her Youtube Videos That Depress Me GO

Posted in:stepFAME|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

28

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

Picture-41.jpg

I was talking to a whore on AIM today and she was telling me that the morning after pill is called E.C. She thought it was funny that it was called E.C. because it was like “you easy whore u got nut inside of you, now here take this E.C. pill.” I think they called it E.C. like easy, because it’s easier than a life of headaches if you decide to have the baby, and a lot less emotionally draining than having an abortion. It seems like every girl I know who has had an abortion, gets a little fucked in the head. They usually only go through with it once and decide to either never have sex again or to use the pill as a precautionary measure. It doesn’t really matter, but what does matter is that I have some links for you to check out. I am good to you like that. Send in any links you find because I am running out of good ones.


A List of Ethnic Slurs and a Whole Lot More from Answer.com, Helping Us All Be Better Racists One Question at a Time. My Favorite is an Alabama Blue Gums and that’s just in the “A’s”
GO

Myspace Picture of the Day GO

stepSong of the Day is The Raconteurs – Together. This is their Myspace Because I couldn’t Find a Way to Link the mp3, and the song’s not even in their myspace player, but check them out… GO

Another Myspace Picture of the Day GO

Last Night’s Party Goes to the UK and Gets Ugly Girls To Talk About Nothing in their Bras GO

Last Night’s Party Goes to the UK and Gets Ugly Hipsters to Pose in their Underwear and Flash Their Tits GO

Big Brother Girl Shows off and Talks About Her Tits. Sexy Lady. I like Flow.
GO

Emmy Award Nip Slip and Other Emmy Pics of Cleavage and Dresses and Celebrites and Such GO

Pussycat Dolls Have A New Video Called I Don’t Need a Man
GO

Vanessa Minillo Quote of the Day
GO

A Study on Masturbation Says:
GO

Out on the Town with Dave Navarro GO

2 Live Crew’s Pop That Video GO

Who the fuck is Maggie Grace and Why is She Rockin’ Such a Stupid Hat….
GO

Hipster Magazine Anthem blogs about some Movie Called Wicker Man but Can’t Link to a Picture Set of Tits Without a NSFW warning. They are obviously fucking PUSSIES and NOT HIP AT ALL!! Send them Hate Mail.
GO

Worshipping God Through Dance, But Not the Kind of Dance I like….
GO

This is one of the Weirdest Fucking Photo Gallery I Have Ever Seen – It is Burning Man Back in 2001
GO

“Jesus, Check your site everyday and love your posts. I thought I’d pass along a video I did I thought you might enjoy it’s Cindy Brady on acid. It’s called A Very Brady LSD Special.”
GO

Future Playboy Olympians Whatever the Fuck That Means….
GO

I like Rickster’s Response, Dude Seems Like a Penis Enlargement Expert, I wonder Why…
GO

Some Girl Posing On The Couch All Slutty Like….
GO

Some Celebrity Bloggers are Gay and Have Mouth Herpes on MTV, Others, like me, are Hacks and Perez Hilton seems to be Both.
GO

Annoying Girls Who Deserve to Get Raped By Horny Lohan Wanker:
1
GO
2
GO
3
GO
4
GO
5
GO
6
GO

Ashlee Simpson’s Career Highlight Was Being Booked at the Dupage County Fair on July 26th Video
GO

Bai Ling Nip Slip at the Emmies, Not a Big Surprise Considering Her Nipples are Always Exposed GO

Weird Lil Kim Photoshoot GO

3 Free DVDs from a Hot New Men’s Magazine GO

There was a time when people would send me in pictures of girls they banged for my pheromone challenge…. GO

There was a time when girls would draw their vagina and describe it in 10 words or Less GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

28

Aug

I am – Fergie Eats Lunch and Buys Meth of the Day

FergieFatty000.jpg

Some girl on Myspace just told me that her box was mangled because she had been raped and cut. I am all for making inappropriate jokes, but I am really not comfortable with bitches who joke about being raped, especially raped by a knife, because it’s fucking gross. I definitely don’t ever support rape unless it’s statuatory, but that’s only rape according to the girl’s parents and the law and it usually doesn’t invovle anyone being left to die in an alley with their pants around their ankles. Speaking of inappropriate jokes, here’s some pics of Fergie, who’s life reminds me of a rape.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

28

Aug

I am – Nicole Richie is Way Hardcore of the Day

I have a thing for bitches who look like Jon Benet Ramsey, I wear mis-matched socks and dirty jogging pants. I love hanging with my stepdaughter and her 16 year old girl friends, I can’t get erections so I am never going to get charged as a sexual predator, I may get in trouble for trying to convince them to take showers together for me, but that has yet to be seen. I get sick more often than an African Aids baby and I don’t have African Aids according to my doctor. Speaking of Africa, I was dissed by a couple black dudes this weekend when I was at the gas station buying cigarettes and beer for my stepdaughter. We were in line behind these 2 “Alabama Blue Gums” who were dressed like they just stepped out of a low budget rap music video, meaning they were trying to look like ballers but drove a ’92 Honda Civic hatchback. Either way, I’m in line with my girl and dude starts checking her out, he reaches out for the condom rack and I picka up a box of Magnums to look like a star, totally predictable. I laughed to myself and when my girl asks me if her hair looks good I say “it’s way hardcore”…so as these dudes walk out of the store they look at my girl and say “yooooo I’m way hardcore” and start laughing and slappin each other on the back like they just won the NBA Championships or an intense game of dominos in the alley behind the projects they grew up in. Speaking of “Alabama Blue Gums”, here are some pics of Nicole Richie and her boyfriend, se was raised by a very weird man who adopts other people’s kids…with more money than all of us combined but no matter how white they try to be or how much money they have, they’ll always be of African decent.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

28

Aug

I am – Lindsay Lohan Bikini Pics of the Day

LohanBikini018.jpg

I was sick all weekend, so I didn’t turn on my computer. I probably missed being the first person to post all kinds of great stuff, like all the Emmy Arrival pics, but I am not a reputable news source and I am never first on much. I don’t really even check out the other sites to see what they are up to as often as I should and I have horrible work ethic. My goal here is to post 4 posts and a link dump a day, I usually fuck that up, but at least I have some kind of plan. Speaking of plans, do you remember when I used to stalk Lohan, it never ended up working out for me. I thought about making another voicemail message but don’t really see the point. Bitch had a real stalker, that was actually crazy, taking all media attention away from me. That doesn’t mean that I can’t post some bikini pics of her to start this week. So that’s what I am going to do. Remember that Lohan is an unappreciative, unprofession, spoiled little cunt who doesn’t even look like she’s worth a round in a bikini. I hope her career takes a downward spiral as more and more people in Hollywood start to hate her as much as I hate her.

Since this post isn’t funny at all, and I like to think most of what I do makes at least one out of the five of you smile, I decided to show you a myspace message that I sent some cunt in efforts to get nude pics of her. My quest for nudes has pretty much been a bust a lot like my Lohan stalking so I guess I should just come to terms with the fact that everything I touch turns to shit.

This is what the bitch wrote to me:

Well of course you want to c me nude, get in line. hahahaaha

This is what I wrote the bitch back:

I just figured that you would get naked with less effort than the other girls because you have had a baby.

I didn’t want to see you naked for any reason other than thinking that you would get naked. I don’t believe that there’s a line-up of men wanting you, that seems like a standard cliche response that all girls, fat and skinny alike would say. Just like telling a guy who is trying to pick you up in a club that you and your friend are lesbians.

Remember – pregnancy means you fuck and let guys bust up in you.

that’s pretty slutty…

A lot sluttier than a couple of pics of your mangled box

With love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Lohan is reading this bookInside the Mind of Gideon Rayburn by Sarah Miller. I was surprised she knew how to read too. If Amazon didn’t cancel my affiliate deal for being an inappropriate site, I would be getting 10 % of anything you fuckers buy, now I get shit. Typical.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

25

Aug

I am – Magazine and Posed Pictures of the Day

Magazinezevaherzigova4.jpg

It is late and I haven’t posted yet. I have a good excuse for it though. I started writing this post a 2 pm. I wrote an amazing post about how I hate A-D lister people who pose for pictures but how I love E-Z listers. I wrote a sad story about bitches from all walks of posing for all kinds of pictures like the fat bitch who dreams of being a celebrity while scanning cans of soup at the local price chopper then going to Sears to get portraits done. It was fucking genius by my standards because I was trying to do something special for a Friday but it accidentally got deleted when I was uploading Alyssa Milano pics, I fucking hate that cunt and hairy stomach now. I am not re-writing it, it will not live up to the one I wrote, I will will just accept it as a loss but I am pretty fucking pissed off that it’s gone though, what a fucking waste of my time and my blood is fucking boiling from anger. Here are some pics of A thru D listers posing.

Eva Herzigova Deserves a Post of Her Own

So Milano’s Stomach Hair Deserves a Post of Its Own

Christina Aguilera’s Tranny Face in 2003 Deserves a Post of Its Own

Elisha Cuthberts Rack Deserves a Post of Its Own

LeeLee Sobiesky’s Nipples Deserve a Post of Their Own

Kylie Minogue’s Breast Cancer Deserves a Foundation of Its Own

Keira Knightley’s Nipples

Kirsten Dunst Doesn’t Deserve to be in this Post because She’s Ugly

Kate Hudson’s Panties

Collien Fernandes is German

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

24

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

Picture-21.jpg
Photo Credit x17 (obviously)

My doctor told me that I am a wounded bird and that wounded birds do not attract a good women. He told me that good women go for guys without baggage and who seem in control of their lives. The women who go for the wounded birds usually have “daddy issues” and are trying to be maternal and controlling so going after a weak person makes them happy. I don’t know why he thinks I am a wounded bird or why he’s giving me relationship advice. I went to see him for a Hepatitis shot. I am married, I found my dream woman, and by dream I mean nightmare, but that’s technically a dream, just a scary one and more importantly, I am not a wounded bird, I am only weak when it comes to walking up stairs and any physical activity and I don’t attract any women period. Point of all this is to say that my selection of links today are like a wounded bird, but you can’t do better and if you think that you can do better, send them my way, you cocksucker.

NEYO is Some Black Dude Who Sings, This is Him Getting a Censored Blowjob from Some Slut. I Guess There’s No Way of Proving It Since All Black People Look the Same and This Could Really Be Jamal from the KFC Down the Street for all We Know.
GO

Mariah Carey See Through Dress
GO

Heather Locklear is Wearing a See-Through Skirt
GO

DJ AM, Here’s Pics of your Ex-Fiance with her New Cock…That’s Right, He’s Fucking Your Pussy, How Does That Make You Feel?
GO

Bai Ling is a Useless Cunt, Here Are Some Pics of Her
GO

Pictures of Paris Hilton in September’s Blender. I Would So Fuck This Girl Without a Condom. Let’s Face It, She’s Hotter Than ANYONE You’ve Banged and Rich People Cant Get AIDS (Remember Magic Johnson….his Johnson Really isn’t so Magical, since he score the hivvies but his Immune System is…. bet no one’s ever said that before)

Hot or Not: Summer Altice
GO

Her Name is Ali Bastian and She Wears Bikinis and I don’t
GO

There’s Something Special About a Picture of Pregnant Lesbians in Love:
GO

I like what GUEST says to this Slut
GO

In Japan, Britney Spears is Too Rude and a Threat to the Nation’s Young
GO

For Those of You Having Trouble Meeting That Special Lady, Order a Whole Person Frozen a Preserved With Care
GO

Mischa Barton’s Got Some Busted Up Legs…
GO

Playboy Released Some Book on Lingerie, Thanks To The Internet, You Don’t Have to Buy It….
GO

I mentioned a Teenage Pregnancy on Myspace. This is her Profile, She’s 19, It Counts
GO

Here’s a Reformed Gay Man Showing His Techniques on How To Become Straight. He’s Not That Crazy. I’d Totally Invite Him Over For Sunday Night Dinner, I’d Even Let Him Babysit My Kids, That’s Just The Kind of Guy I am
GO

Hipster’s Getting Dirty in Jello
GO

The Tale of Two Vaginas Is Totally Hot In Theory. Bitch Shouldn’t Be Anonymous, I Want to Know How Fat She Is
GO

Kobe Thai is a Pornstar and Here She Is Teaching Us How To Pack – Video
GO

In Proof that Vice is Garbage of the Day, This is their Do and they Think this Corky Retard Bitch is Hot. Good Thing they Dissed the Guy’s Outfit so hard and Called Him a Catatonic Fetus, which I guess is the Opposite of a Dancing Fetus with Great Conversation skills. I can Admit that This Corky Retard Bitch is Pretty Hot for a Corky Retard Bitch and I Think I Banged This Corky Retard Bitch when I was the Orderly at the Corky Retard Home. Corky Retard Bitch is the Word of the Day.
GO

Classy Myspace 14 year old, Pretending to be 16 GO

Same Myspace Girl Showing Her Ass GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

24

Aug

I am – Rosie Perez’s Mexican Tits of the Day

RosiePerezTOP.jpg

Like all good Mexicans, Rosie Perez is getting fat. Speaking of Mexicans, I just found my new favorite site and it proves that kids are fucking retards when it comes to sex and NEED to be taught sex ed in schools, possibly by me. I am not that I am against a nation of Pregnant Infected Teens, but I am against a nation of idiots, not that I am not an idiot. I just know that I can’t get pregnant from giving a handjob…I will admit that it took me a few nights at the truckstop to learn that though. Either way, I can’t really get pregnant from anything, I was just speaking as if I was a girl. It happens sometimes and I blame the impotency. It fucks with my head. So click on these links and remember although it may look like my stepLINKS of the day….But it’s not. I tricked you, Asshole.


This Girl’s Got Green Poo
GO

This Girl’s Gone Fishing In Her Cooch
GO

This Girl’s Scared She Got Pregnant from Dry Sex and She Doesn’t Back Down
GO

This Girl’s Got Discharge
GO

This Dude’s Got the Right Idea Cuz I’ve Always Told Virgin’s That Taking It Up the Ass Doesn’t Count as Sex and It Got Me No Where
GO

This Girl’s Got Pain When she Pees, But She’s only had sex with a Virgin, What Can It Be??
GO

This Dude’s Cumming All Kinds from Dry Sex, I’d Hate To see His In-Vagina Performance
GO

This Girl’s Scared of Being Pregnant Cuz Her BF Fingered Her, Slut
GO

This Dude’s Got A Thing For Young Sluts, Maybe a Little Too Young, No Never Too Young…
GO

Post Script: If you find any funnier links, send them in, I love this shit. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted