I went to the strippers again last night. That made for 2 nights in a row at the same bar. I saw a few of the same strippers including the bitch I called table scarps on Thursday. I found out her name is destiny, and I love the fact that she rocks a Roxy Bikini and not a trashy stripper outfit, but I don’t like the fact that she cant’s dance and has a dumpy ass. I also saw Drea the stripper who fucked me over in a lap dance by telling me that we’d make out in the booth 3 weeks ago and ended up trying to charge me for 4 songs that she used to talk about her life, her dad and her mother’s cancer, all while wearing clothes. I know cancer is fuckin’ sexy, but only while I have a set of tits in my hand. We were seated far back in the club and all the bitches looked hot from where we were….all you see is nakedness and seemingly nice ass. At the end of the night we hit up Pervert’s Row, and realized all the bitches we thought were hot, were the busted up old cars we knew they would turn out to be. Point of the story is the lookin at someone from far is always good, because you don’t dwell on their imperfections, cuz we’ve all got them, just look at Alyssa Milano’s arms…..they are fuckin’ hairy and as much as I love bush and imperfections, I know that someone on TV shouldn’t have any. Sort that shit out bitch.

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So here are some links to wrap up the day…it’s 4 minutes to minute and the highlight of my day was talking to my internet girlfriend in California. She doesn’t like me very much, but she looks good in a sombrero and that’s really all that matters for me…..I am listening to Styx, drinking beer, planning another trip to the strip club because it’s Friday and that’s just how I’m Livin’. If you hate these links…it is all my fault. Cuddles.

Nicole Richie has gone insane or has Joined a Band
Sex in Public is Hype, Sound Effects Aren’t
Lindsay Lohan in a Pink Bikini (is the New Blog)
LPSG.org Discuss if their Parents Know about their Large Penises
Lucy Becker has Stripper tits
For Every Hot Chick, There’s 10 Disgusting Ones…
DoubleViking Likes Bikini Models from Brazil
I fucking Love This Bitch Hannah via Fleshbot
ThongSeeker Seeks Bitches in thongs
Courtney Love can still afford to shop
(she sold Cobain’s songs and made a killing…haha…get it)

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So here are some links to wrap up the day…it’s 4 minutes to minute and the highlight of my day was talking to my internet girlfriend in California. She doesn’t like me very much, but she looks good in a sombrero and that’s really all that matters for me…..I am listening to Styx, drinking beer, planning another trip to the strip club because it’s Friday and that’s just how I’m Livin’. If you hate these links…it is all my fault. Cuddles.

Nicole Richie has gone insane or has Joined a Band
Sex in Public is Hype, Sound Effects Aren’t
Lindsay Lohan in a Pink Bikini (is the New Blog)
LPSG.org Discuss if their Parents Know about their Large Penises
Lucy Becker has Stripper tits
For Every Hot Chick, There’s 10 Disgusting Ones…
DoubleViking Likes Bikini Models from Brazil
I fucking Love This Bitch Hannah via Fleshbot
ThongSeeker Seeks Bitches in thongs
Courtney Love can still afford to shop
(she sold Cobain’s songs and made a killing…haha…get it)

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The funny thing about poverty is that we get the shit end of everything. We are blamed for all the problems in society and people think we send our kids to school without lunches and shit because we are too busy being poor, you know working 2 jobs and trying to make ends meet, or sitting in an alley smokin’ crack and turning tricks. Eitherway, rich people are way more fucked up. They hire poor people to raise their kids, while they do things that rich people do like work and shop and go to society events. When the kid becomes a headache they send the motherfucker off to boarding school because they really can’t be bothered. The kids become more fucked up, but since they aren’t poor, they don’t get arrested, they get University degrees, develop a drug addiction and it’s all cool cuz they have enough money to get themselves out of the mess with special schools and shit. Point of the story is that Melanie Griffith has a rockin’ a biker Antonio tattoo that she got at a flea market. She’s no 1976 Playboy Model She Once Was (click this link)

Bonus:
Actress Melanie Griffith and her daughter Dakota Johnson enjoy a smoke outside of Dakota’s school (for troubled kids)

Another Bonus: Matthew Perry at an AA Meeting at the Same Place

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The funny thing about poverty is that we get the shit end of everything. We are blamed for all the problems in society and people think we send our kids to school without lunches and shit because we are too busy being poor, you know working 2 jobs and trying to make ends meet, or sitting in an alley smokin’ crack and turning tricks. Eitherway, rich people are way more fucked up. They hire poor people to raise their kids, while they do things that rich people do like work and shop and go to society events. When the kid becomes a headache they send the motherfucker off to boarding school because they really can’t be bothered. The kids become more fucked up, but since they aren’t poor, they don’t get arrested, they get University degrees, develop a drug addiction and it’s all cool cuz they have enough money to get themselves out of the mess with special schools and shit. Point of the story is that Melanie Griffith has a rockin’ a biker Antonio tattoo that she got at a flea market. She’s no 1976 Playboy Model She Once Was (click this link)

Bonus:
Actress Melanie Griffith and her daughter Dakota Johnson enjoy a smoke outside of Dakota’s school (for troubled kids)

Another Bonus: Matthew Perry at an AA Meeting at the Same Place

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Here’s some fresh, wet-haired pictures of Longoria, everyone’s favorites Mexican desperate housewife. I think what I like about her is that she’s a cougar. She’s in 30 and banging some 21 year old NBA star. What I like even more about it, is that she goes on Oprah and openly tells the world how in love she is with this boy toy. From my experience in banging older chicks, they usually kept it secret from everyone, like I was their dirty secret. I guess the fact that the only old ladies I ever bagged were living in the Old Folks Home I was an orderly at, and the medication, old age and dementia probably made them forget. Again, another weak fuckin’ joke, but I am not the one reading this, you are. Cuddles.

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Here’s some fresh, wet-haired pictures of Longoria, everyone’s favorites Mexican desperate housewife. I think what I like about her is that she’s a cougar. She’s in 30 and banging some 21 year old NBA star. What I like even more about it, is that she goes on Oprah and openly tells the world how in love she is with this boy toy. From my experience in banging older chicks, they usually kept it secret from everyone, like I was their dirty secret. I guess the fact that the only old ladies I ever bagged were living in the Old Folks Home I was an orderly at, and the medication, old age and dementia probably made them forget. Again, another weak fuckin’ joke, but I am not the one reading this, you are. Cuddles.

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I guess it’s pretty obvious that when girls have a babies their hormones get all fucked up. They get all weird because they just brought life into the world and destroyed their bodies doing it. Their husbands don’t want to bang their newly gaping baby holes and the only action they are getting is from their kid, suckin’ their tits. Point of the story is to say that these new moms are rockin’ thongs and exposing themselves to the world, just craving a little attention from a man, any man, even a homeless mexican on the internet man…..

Britney Spears

Jennifer Garner

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I went to the strippers last night. It’s something that I do when I feel like feeling like my life doesn’t fully suck as much as it does. The reason I choose strip clubs is simple. The girls are forced to talk and listen to my insanity, even when I am not paying them and they are just trying to solicit lap dances from me. So they come around and chat with me, and I tell them that I don’t eat table scraps, and they look at me wondering what the hell I mean, and I respond by asking how many dudes have grabbed their tits tha night, at which point they fuck off. The only difference last night was that one black chick chatted us up about how she wants to produce porn and how she’s friends with some black star named Lexington Steele, and how if we want to see her in action search her name. This is what I found(NSFW), really fucking classy. A lot like Brooke Hogan. Bitch comes from money, but still manages to look like a piece of trailer park stripper trash. Like Mya Lovely, who sucks dick and gets fucked on the side for some extra coin, but is still too much of a piece of trash to get enough work in the porn game, not that porn is any classier,but she still has to strip to make money. Hogan sings shit songs and has a shit reality show, but still can’t stop buying her cheap outfits at the prostitute store. That concludes this story.

Bonus: Dressed like a Trashy Banana (Jay-Z’s Fetish)

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