I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

13

Mar

I am – Draw your Vagina and Descibe it in 10 words or Less of the Day

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I don’t really know where she’s from or what she does. I don’t know her real name, her interests, the kind of music she likes. I don’t know who she’s had sex with and how she does it. I don’t know if she’s talented, cool or just some weird introvert who plays fantasy role playing games. Her name, from what I know, is Sunny spelt with $ instead of an S because that is what hip hop has done to today’s youth. She messaged me on Myspace asking me to make her famous, I can only assume she thinks my site actually gets traffic, well the joke’s on her but lucky for me, she sent me in a nice drawing of her vagina and she described it in 10 words or less.

Visit her Myspace Here

Previously on DrunkenStepfather.com:

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 words or less: January 25
I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 words or less: January 26
I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 words or less: January 27th
I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 words or less: February 6th

Posted in:stepBOX|Unsorted

2006

12

Mar

Nancy O'Dell Bikini Pictures of the Day

These are some pictures of Nancy O’Dell in a bikini. She’s the bitch from Access Hollywood that you want to fuck, but unfortunately, she doesn’t like you as much as you like her. I don’t watch TV so I have no idea if these are actually her, but with tits like this, I guess it doesn’t matter who the fuck it is.

Posted in:Bikini|Nancy O'Dell

2006

12

Mar

Nancy O’Dell Bikini Pictures of the Day

These are some pictures of Nancy O’Dell in a bikini. She’s the bitch from Access Hollywood that you want to fuck, but unfortunately, she doesn’t like you as much as you like her. I don’t watch TV so I have no idea if these are actually her, but with tits like this, I guess it doesn’t matter who the fuck it is.

Posted in:Bikini|Nancy O'Dell

2006

11

Mar

I am – Myspace Message of the Day

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I think writing rude myspace messages to people is funny. Even if no one else is in on the fun with me, I’ll just write my smack and laugh to myself, because I am crazy like that. The fact that one message to someone I don’t know can make them despise me is funny. My whole person is determined by 5 stupid lines that I write and that’s fuckin’ jokes. It’s not that I get off on making people hate me, it’s that people take shit so seriously that I laugh.

This is a myspace message I wrote to some girl who called me a grouch and told me to fuck off….her name Booyakasha, because quoting Ali G isn’t played out yet….

Re: Cunt…

why don’t you learn how to have a little respect. If you want to be treated proper-like, you shouldn’t tell people to fuck off. that’s rude, and no one likes cunt who talks back, that’s how you get spousal abused. Know your role, do your make up, do the laundry and make babies, bitch.

Let’s cuddle.

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Pherlure Challenge Update of the Day

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I know all you guys hate this feature, but I think it’s hot content and I don’t really give a fuck what you have to say. I do it for myself. I get non-stop complaints saying how I write the letters and shit, but I also get non-stop submissions. You all just have to realize that I am fucking lazy. I post what lands in my inbox, sometimes edit it so stop being conspiracy theorists and realize it’s a post that I do…if you hate pheromone sprays or if pheromone spray was used on your girlfriend, making her cheat on you, then look at the pics and then go fuck yourself…..If you want in on the fun…you know what to do…..I got this yesterday and it’s direct from a chick. I love chicks. By the way the ITALICS in the letter are the placed I edited out her long winded bullshit about how she’s not a slut but loves to fuck.

Jesus,

I read your site often. (I edited out her BLAH BLAH BLAH) I met a guy at a bar and went home with him. (I edited out her BLAH BLAH BLAH) We ended up hooking up and I had a great time. (I edited out her BLAH BLAH BLAH) and the next morning while showering (Thank got this bitch showers), I noticed a bottle of the pherlure crap you always write about. (I edited out her BLAH BLAH BLAH) I traded emails with the guy, and he sent me a pic I let him take of him licking my tit. That pic actually started the night off. I really hate to admit it, but look at what pherlure did to me. (I edited out her BLAH BLAH BLAH)

Post it if you want

B.

If you want in, buy some here

Remember to take pics/video of your experience and send them to me.

If you want to see previous stories, read them here

Posted in:stepPHEROMONECHALLENGE|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Teri Hatcher: Post Molestation Pic of the Day

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Teri Hatcher hangs out in a yellow dress in honor of her uncle who molested her when she was a kid; he loved yellow. She is seen with a fat bitch who was also molested when she was a child, but unlike Teri, took to food to try to emotionally eat the pain away. Why would someone steal a little girl’s innocence?? Is probably one of the questions they are asking themselves, and the answer is simple. They were probably sucking on popsicles, running around in Smurf jumpsuits, and sitting on Uncle’s lap….what the fuck else do you expect him to do….if only you were that easy now… I guess this lack of sympathy towards molested kids isn’t gonna go over well and I truly feel very emotional about having written about it. I am a bad fucking person…now come here and sit on Stepdaddy’s lap, you little whores.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Tit Infection of the Day

This is the reason people hate me. I post pictures of things that may not be considered sexy. Well I don’t give a fuck. This girl sent me in pics of her tits. She has an infected nipple because she got a piercing, trying to be cool like you. Now her great rack my go to shit when the doctors realize the only way to deal with this is by amputating. I don’t know where the joke is in this post, I guess it’s all in the nipple, but realize I don’t find this hot at all. I find this fucking gross…but posted it anyway because it is all in the name of science. It is the same reason I never got this rash treated, I want to see where it ends up…..

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera Drunk

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There’s something about drunk women that drives me fuckin’ insane, and I am not even talking about their puking all over the place or emotional outbursts where they start kicking and crying and smacking me up with their purses. I am talking about how easy a bitch gets when she’s got a little booze in her. I have 2 strategies to get a girl wasted, so that you can have your way with her, one is that you work out a deal with a waitreass to make your girl doubles, and give you singles or virgins, just to retain the upper hand. People will call me criminal or a rapist for using that move but they haven’t even heard the second strategy I use, but I am wasted now and can’t remember it….I think it involves anus though, female anus. Yes, I felt the need to clarify. Either way, Aguilera’s husband looks like that jew motherfucker in your elementary school who never let you play with his expensive jew toys, now he’s doing the same thing, but with a girl we all wanna fuck…I hate him.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

09

Mar

I am – Throwback DJ Am Interview of the Day

I did this interview a year a 3 months ago, before AM was engaged to Richie, before she left him for Steve-O, before they got back together, before I was confident enough in my site to really rip a motherfucker apart. For the record AM was always cool with me, and asked me to take it off the site when they first got engaged, so I did. I saved it in case I decided to cry for attention. This be me crying for attention.

Bam, Here is AM

INTERVIEW ORIGINALLY REMOVED AT THE REQUEST OF LIONEL RICHIE

INTERVIEW REPOSTED BY JESUS TO SEE IF WE GET SUED

Stepfather: So what’s the deal with DJs, why does every girl want a piece of the DJ?

DJ AM: DJs rule… Every girl wants to bone us cause we are the center of attention… And that’s what every girl wants to be.

Stepfather: You used to be fat, I am fat, is life really that much better being thin? Do girls appreciate a fat man, or is your life that much better now that you aren’t fat?

DJ AM: I hated being fat. I miss knocking back a rack of ribs and bakers dozen of Krispie Kremes for a snack but I like being thin for once…

Stepfather: Rumor is that when you lose a lot of weight, your penis gets bigger, is that true?

DJ AM: Yes, my penis has gotten bigger.

Stepfather: I am a fat man and I am scared to sleep with fat women for 2 main reasons, first because fat is disgusting and second because fat gets in the way of sex and I am scared I won’t be able to penetrate fully, how do you feel about sex with fat chicks?

DJ AM: I have a friend who is skinny and he only fucks fat girls. I think he likes the padding and feeling like hes doing some kinky shit. Thing is, your right. If the chick is THAT fat you can’t dig it all the way in cause there are rolls blocking you.

Stepfather: When it comes to sex, what’s the craziest thing you have done, what do you brad to your boys about?

DJ AM: I used to slap the shit out of this one girl who LOVED to be smacked in the face. I’m not much of a bragger anymore though. I grew old and just like it normal.

Stepfather: How much drugs funnel through the clubs you play at, because I once hung out with a stripper, we were sitting next to each other on the bus and she was telling me that clubs have so many drugs…I once did an 8-ball of crystal in a trailer park in Dallas, that’s actually where my blog started. How do you feel about drugs and what is your drug of choice.

DJ AM: Drugs RULE! I used to be a crack head for about 2 years. Nothing is more fun then being so wasted you throw up on yourself at 9:45am on your way to downtown LA to buy crack rocks from the mouth of a 12 year old Mexican kid. Drugs are all over the clubs I DJ. I just like sitting back and watching people learn the hard way.

Stepfather: Would you sleep with your stepdaughter/stepsister if she was really hot? If you said no, would you rethink it if you only met her when she was legal or if she was only in your life for a couple of years?

DJ AM: I would not bone my step ANYTHING. That’s just too damn funky and close to home… Well, if she was Adriana Lima then yes.. but only in the ass.

Stepfather: Do you feel that your music is being overshadowed by your celebrity acquaintances, friends, and lovers?

DJ AM: No.

Stepfather: How do you feel about providing us with some random gossip that no one will read, but you feel you need to get off your chest and what’s the deal with celebrity obsession, I like to pretend I care about celebrity, but I only do it for traffic to the site.

DJ AM: Hmmmmmm… gotta think about that…

Stepfather: I am an alcoholic, and I like to drink everything, including rubbing alcohol and tang, what is your drink of choice?

DJ AM: I am a sober recovering alkie… I aint had a drink in 7 years.

Stepfather: What are the chances that you would put me on permanent guestlist to all your events?

DJ AM: Slim to none cause there is no permanent guest list. But, if you give me a reach around in the booth I may get you in to 1 club.

Stepfather: Could you hook me up with naked pics of celebrities, it seems to really drive a lot of traffic to my site and I would really appreciate it, no one would know it is from you….I am thinking a DJ AM sex tape or something, is that likely?

DJ AM: Not a good look for you, got no pics 🙁

Stepfather: Who are your musical influences? What kind of music do you dig? What type of music do you play? What gets your dancefloor bumping?

DJ AM: I am strongly influnced by the music of David Hasselhoff. What a voice on that stunning man.

Stepfather: Are you going to pimp the expression “that’s porno� in LA, I think you have the visibility to make this the next big expression, you down?

DJ AM: It could be… but my girl is not feeling that word. I gotta break it in slowly.

Stepfather: I once saw a picture of you in high-end streetwear, have you always supported streetwear? How do you feel about the popularity of the homeless look, I remember when it was limited to people like me, who actually used food stamps while the hottest thing was Brandon Walsh from 90210…when it comes to art, do you have any?

DJ AM: Bryten Goss is an amazing painter. I have a crazy ass painting of his called Triumph Of Death. Its a street scene in LA where the dead wake up and tear thru the city killing everyone in sight. Its sexy.

Check out AM’s official site and drop him an email…HERE

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW

2006

09

Mar

I am – Nick's Illegal Little Secret

I think with the way people are going insane arresting sex offenders is a good sign that you should limit all activity you spend with kids. That means don’t apply to be the lunch monitor, bus driver, teacher, baseball coach cuz even if you’re innocent some crazy mother’s gonna accuse you of it and next thing you know in 10 years, your on trial and all the little kids, now adults are testifying against you, saying you made them do things they didn’t like. How the fuck are you to know they don’t like jerking you off, I mean it feels so good from your perspective. Fucking brats. Anyway, I don’t wanna get more negative attention from the FBI, I just want to point out that I saw Mysterious Skin, and it seems like Lachey may be masking a relationship with a little boy with innocent games like bike riding. Maybe Jessica left him because she knew his little “shove your forearm up my ass” games. Either way, Mysterious Skin traumatized me.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted