So I got this girl on my contact list who claims to be Suzy from Planet Suzy, she sends me over a link to some girl celebrating her 2000th post on their message board with naked pics of herself. I am not one to judge when it comes to naked pics, but I am one to say that I think 2000 posts are about 2000 posts too many and that maybe you should take on new hobbies, which I assume you are trying now that you’ve got a digital camera…you amateur porn star, mommy would be proud. I love the digital camera. I don’t think I really need to go into why, because whenever I state the obvious, I make myself look like a fucking pervert when you are all the one’s actually scoring these kinds of pics off girls on the internet. I take the wrong approach, I beg, I demand, I negotiate, I cry….and it never seems to work out….sometimes I tell a bitch she’s ugly in hopes of her proving me wrong and in the 8 months I have been doing this, I have been sent one naked picture of some girl on myspace trying to prove to me that my stance on bush was wrong….anyway, that’s not the point…the point is that I don’t care if you are ugly or not, or if you’re rocking a pair of your daughters pyjamas, I just want to be a part of your naked pics, send them it to me like I was your agent, let me give you my expert opinion on what looks nice and what is incredibly wrong….you never took photography classes, just cuz you have a Canon point and shoot, doesn’t make you the next Helmut Newton….you know what I am getting at here?

Check out the Useless Junk Amateur showing her junk Here

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I have said that the bikini wax is dead, all the fashionable hipster sluts are rocking a little bush and the only bitches getting bikini waxes are 35 year old mothers and their 16 year old daughters who don’t really know what’s up because neither of them are fucking anyone. Girls, I prefer a little scruff on the muff. That was a rhyme that I just came up with, I am not a hip hop star so it was really fucking weak, but I will keep it there because I am too lazy to edit and my lack of skills on the cypher front don’t change the fact that Alyssa Milano, who is seemingly hot, is mad fucking hairy. At least when she was on Who’s the Boss at 15, her hormonal imbalance didn’t come into play yet, but as we know puberty’s a bitch, and she ain’t 15 anymore, that’s probably why she’s got more hair on her stomach than my Jewish neighbor, and trust me when I say, he’s one hairy cunt. I am not saying that I think 15 year olds are prime pussy because they don’t have used up pussies, I just think Alyssa Milano is hairier now than ever, and when you have a disability, it’s time to take action and I want to let you all know that I still love bush, but I don’t dig hair where it shouldn’t be… I hope that made sense you motherfucker, remember I am out of practice and sobriety has raped my soul.

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I know the site has been a piece of shit lately. I recognize that and don’t really care what you think. You need to learn to lighten up and realize that the world does not revolve around your useless needs. In an ideal world that hot girl you know would be eating out your ass while you’re watching gay porn and eating a burrito, but this is real life and we can’t have everything we want, including an updated daily drunkenstepfather.com site. But since you use me for entertainment, I have no sympathy, because I can only give so much, you fucking user.

I got this email today, and I don’t understand it, but if you’d like to resond to this bitch for me, get ‘er done.

You know that is mean,you being their stepfather and talking about them. I think if you are going to say something like that about them that you should tell them not the whole world,if you was my stepfather and i read, i dont know what i would do. But i am not going to tell you the rest of how i feel about you saying this because i love Mariah’s songs. And you may not like her as a stepdaughter or any thing but i still do not think that you should be saying things like that unless you tell her and her sister.

Email her Here, I think she’s 13, I know some of you probably like that, but don’t get yourself arrested, and if you do try to meet her in a park, and a swat team’s there waiting for your pedophilic ass, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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I have said that the bikini wax is dead, all the fashionable hipster sluts are rocking a little bush and the only bitches getting bikini waxes are 35 year old mothers and their 16 year old daughters who don’t really know what’s up because neither of them are fucking anyone. Girls, I prefer a little scruff on the muff. That was a rhyme that I just came up with, I am not a hip hop star so it was really fucking weak, but I will keep it there because I am too lazy to edit and my lack of skills on the cypher front don’t change the fact that Alyssa Milano, who is seemingly hot, is mad fucking hairy. At least when she was on Who’s the Boss at 15, her hormonal imbalance didn’t come into play yet, but as we know puberty’s a bitch, and she ain’t 15 anymore, that’s probably why she’s got more hair on her stomach than my Jewish neighbor, and trust me when I say, he’s one hairy cunt. I am not saying that I think 15 year olds are prime pussy because they don’t have used up pussies, I just think Alyssa Milano is hairier now than ever, and when you have a disability, it’s time to take action and I want to let you all know that I still love bush, but I don’t dig hair where it shouldn’t be… I hope that made sense you motherfucker, remember I am out of practice and sobriety has raped my soul.

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I love checking out pics of other people’s girlfriends. It’s probably got something to do with wanting what you can’t have. Generally, I can’t really have any girl, not only because I am married, but also because I lack the skills needed to make a wallet-fucking whore feel worthy and willing, you know, ready to whip out her pussy and throw that shit on my dick like a steak on the bbq…I don’t really know what I am talking about, other than the fact that when I think of other people’s girlfriends naked, I get really fucking hungry, and emotionally eat my way to happiness, while staring a pics of them on all fours….

This site, Book-Mark.Net Delivers the Goods….and if you know what’s good for you, you should start sending in pics of your dirty slut girlfriends naked, that shit inspires me and will make me post mo’faster than you can read.

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There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to realize that they are no longer that cute little 3 year old on Full House anymore. They have to realize that although they may have all the money in the fucking world and the luxury to do whatever they please, they can’t change the fact that they are fucking ugly. Now you could say that plastic surgery is an option, but unfortunately we’d have a Michael Jackson on our hands, not that Michael Jackson’s ugly, I would rather get into bed with him that this bitch anyday but that’s only because he has a petting zoo and I fucking love petting zoos. My suggestion for this Olsen twin is simple, just get yourself bigger sunglasses, ones that cover your fucking disgusting mouth, you look like my 90 year old grandmother who spent 65 years sucking tourist cock in Tijuana. I am thinking a helmet with a visor will do, and on the positive side, if you trip and fall from heat exhaustion on a day that you skipped your toilet paper and water meal, you will prevent head trauma. See bitch, I am always thinking about your best fucking interests.

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I fucking love handjob porn, it reminds me of innocent times that have come and gone, a time when I didn’t need to strap a bitch down with a PVC bodysuit to get hard, a time when I sat outside the 7 Eleven in texas and had a hot and heavy night with my Albino girlfriend who wasn’t comfortable fucking, because it meant that I had to gaze deeply into her red eyes…bitch didn’t believe me when I told her I just wanted her on all fours…the handjobs were magical and everytime I see a handjob porn it reminds me of those simpler times…the fact that these two girls are smoking makes me happy, because smoking is always cool, it makes everyone look like James Dean, and although he was a closet case, he still represented the teenage rebel, something you wish you could have been all those days spent at home alot playing Role-Playing games online….if only you started smoking, your whole teenage life woulda changed….I bet that makes you sad….

Gallery Here

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There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to realize that they are no longer that cute little 3 year old on Full House anymore. They have to realize that although they may have all the money in the fucking world and the luxury to do whatever they please, they can’t change the fact that they are fucking ugly. Now you could say that plastic surgery is an option, but unfortunately we’d have a Michael Jackson on our hands, not that Michael Jackson’s ugly, I would rather get into bed with him that this bitch anyday but that’s only because he has a petting zoo and I fucking love petting zoos. My suggestion for this Olsen twin is simple, just get yourself bigger sunglasses, ones that cover your fucking disgusting mouth, you look like my 90 year old grandmother who spent 65 years sucking tourist cock in Tijuana. I am thinking a helmet with a visor will do, and on the positive side, if you trip and fall from heat exhaustion on a day that you skipped your toilet paper and water meal, you will prevent head trauma. See bitch, I am always thinking about your best fucking interests.

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I fucking love handjob porn, it reminds me of innocent times that have come and gone, a time when I didn’t need to strap a bitch down with a PVC bodysuit to get hard, a time when I sat outside the 7 Eleven in texas and had a hot and heavy night with my Albino girlfriend who wasn’t comfortable fucking, because it meant that I had to gaze deeply into her red eyes…bitch didn’t believe me when I told her I just wanted her on all fours…the handjobs were magical and everytime I see a handjob porn it reminds me of those simpler times…the fact that these two girls are smoking makes me happy, because smoking is always cool, it makes everyone look like James Dean, and although he was a closet case, he still represented the teenage rebel, something you wish you could have been all those days spent at home alot playing Role-Playing games online….if only you started smoking, your whole teenage life woulda changed….I bet that makes you sad….

Gallery Here

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Being on a reality TV show is always a good way to pigeonhole yourself. People all think that their 5 mins of fame on one of these shows will end up giving them so many more oppotunites that will make them the next Tom Cruise, but the reality of reality TV is that you play yourself, you are edited to shit, everything is skewed to have a dramatic effect and you walk away from the experience humilated and hated by the rest of Society. The best concept for a Reality TV show is Big Brother, it’s all about locking motherfuckers up in a house and seeing how they interact after providing them with a bunch of booze to get the party started and make shit interesting….all while cameras are installed in every room of the house allowing average hillbilly trash watch the dynamic of the human experience. The good thing about the human experience is that it always comes down to sex, and on big brother we get to see the sex so it’s amateur porn in full effect, but it’s okay because it’s reality TV. These 2 Russians get caught on camera gettin down after a night of drinking…the good news for them is that by doing a reality TV show in Russia is the 3 people own TVs so the chance of running your life is a hell of a stetch. The reason only 3 people have TVs is because of communism. Embrace your freedom you dirty Americans.

Check the Clips Out

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