I just wanted to say that I totally called that this fool had a big dick. I read a story somewhere that at their wedding he thanked his parent’s for his big dick which proves my theory that ugly guys can get laid, if they got big dicks. Too bad for you, sitting in your mom’s basement, 4 inches hard, video game controller in hand…you won’t ever get X-Tina’s rotten cunt. Point of the story is that impotence takes away all insecurities about having a little dick, it’s like having a fleshy wound that you pee out of…..I’d like to thank crystal meth, obesity and hard living for my useless cock. Good story – tell your grandkids you fucking assholes.

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The constant theme today is girls with things in their mouths. Except for the Minnie Driver post, but I only put that up cuz I used to jerk off to the bitch when I could. Now I am all about watching girls eat, drink and smoke. It’s the closest I’ll probably see to them shoving a cock in their mouth, and I am totally supportive of girls who suck dick. I remember when I was a little younger and I actually took the time to date girls with issues, instead of just fuck them and leave them, there was one girl who just didn’t suck dick. I’d be all like stickin my dick in her face and shit and she’s all like “I don’t do that”. The joke was on me, cuz I stuck around for 2 weeks. That’s how nice I am. If any of you girls out there don’t suck dick, you better start learning, cuz you will only end up with some total fucking momma’s boy who doesn’t like sex anyway cuz his mom wouldn’t be happy with his rude behavior. He’s the kind of guy who rapes the next door neighbor’s kid. Remember that.

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I love bitches named Love, Jazz, Caramelle, Chanel and Diaz. The reason is because they are usually strippers, and I spend most of my disposible income on that shit. Shoving singles in a girl’s garter fills the emptiness that is my life. If I go to the club with enough money, the girls actually talk to me like I am a real person. I know they just want my money, but I don’t care, because I got an ass in my face and titties in hand. The jokes is usually on them, when I can’t pay my tab and get kicked out. The point of all this is to say that Jennifer Love Hewitt acts a virgin, we all know she’s a different person, I’m talking 12 inch dildo up her ass while pissing in her mouth. It’s always the good girls who suprise me best. The fact that she’s eating her eats and drinking her drink is only to keep things constant. That’s enough about this.

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I love bitches named Love, Jazz, Caramelle, Chanel and Diaz. The reason is because they are usually strippers, and I spend most of my disposible income on that shit. Shoving singles in a girl’s garter fills the emptiness that is my life. If I go to the club with enough money, the girls actually talk to me like I am a real person. I know they just want my money, but I don’t care, because I got an ass in my face and titties in hand. The jokes is usually on them, when I can’t pay my tab and get kicked out. The point of all this is to say that Jennifer Love Hewitt acts a virgin, we all know she’s a different person, I’m talking 12 inch dildo up her ass while pissing in her mouth. It’s always the good girls who suprise me best. The fact that she’s eating her eats and drinking her drink is only to keep things constant. That’s enough about this.

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Back in 1997 when my dick still worked, I used to watch “Good Will Hunting” in slow motion just to see this bitch in her high waisted jeans walk around. I would spend hours playing with myself to her dirty ass. I think that is the reason god wrathed me by making me impotent. My advice, is do not waste your good erections on bitches who look like they work in a grocery store. What’s that Minnie? Do I want to double bag? I’d say yes, but you are probably still a virgin. Let’s just stick to the raw dog.

Speaking of Raw Dogs, nice tattoo you fucking sailor-whore (that’s the girl who waits at the docks for the ships to come to port to make a lil’ extra skrill). Cuddles.

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Back in 1997 when my dick still worked, I used to watch “Good Will Hunting” in slow motion just to see this bitch in her high waisted jeans walk around. I would spend hours playing with myself to her dirty ass. I think that is the reason god wrathed me by making me impotent. My advice, is do not waste your good erections on bitches who look like they work in a grocery store. What’s that Minnie? Do I want to double bag? I’d say yes, but you are probably still a virgin. Let’s just stick to the raw dog.

Speaking of Raw Dogs, nice tattoo you fucking sailor-whore (that’s the girl who waits at the docks for the ships to come to port to make a lil’ extra skrill). Cuddles.

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I am a pervert, and in being a pervert, I have a responsibility to myself and to other perverts to look at pictures that I come across as a pervert. When I saw these pics of Kirsten Dunst eating, smoking and drinking, I could think of nothing more than the fact that bitch likes putting things in her mouth. It’s called an Oral Fixation and happens to people who were never breast fed. I am not turned on by her in any way, other than the fact that she’s got a cooter and that she’s got enough money to support my lifestyle, so jerking off my limp dick to her eating, smoking and drinking is what I gotta do to make her love me.

This has been my first post in a week. I have totally lost my edge, just look at the pics then go fuck yourself.

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So why the fuck is there a dude behind Pam Anderson in a dress. I know bitch has hep and I can only assume she’s at an HIV group meeting or something, you know it is the Gay disease. I heard somewhere that fags who like to fuck straight married closet cases hang out in bath houses dressed as women cuz it’s an easier transition for the straight married guy to make his way into the world of gay. If you are wondering where I hear this, I used to was sheets and clean the rooms at a bath house. One of my more exciting career moves.

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The only thing better than old ladies, is naked old ladies. I do not have an old lady fetish, thinking about their used up cunts doesn’t get me off, but the simple fact is that pussy is pussy and even if a woman is old enough to be your grandma, I don’t feel like I am in the position to discriminate. If I am at the old folks home changing bed pans and shit, and a bitch is like “stick it in my cooter” on they have old lady terms for cooter like “English Muffin” or “Werther’s Original”, who am I do say no. I am not a philanthropist, and I don’t do charitable things, but if I get to cum, then it’s not really charity, and we are all fucking winners, and ever since I was a kid, I always liked winning.

Point of the story is, old ladies let you cum inside of them, and although it may be dry and unpleasant, bitch can’t get pregnant. The home’s usually frown upon that shit, and fire and drunken mexican for crossing the line, but I think they are just jealous that I’m the one getting pussy. That was my post, how’d you like it. Asshole.

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People make me laugh, they sit at home, because they don’t have the luxury of having any motivation in their lives or social skills. A serious computer addiction and virgin status make them scared of the world, so they sit at home and surf porn, pay for web models to get naked for them, jerk off more than twice a day and yell at their mom’s when they are asked to bring out the garbage or to get a outside for some fresh air. It’s the life the internet has created for these losers. I am glad that internet hasn’t done that to me, drinking has and my mom doesn’t shit on me about being a loser, she’s dead.

Anyway- the point of all this is to say that some motherfucker is watching TV and sees a partial nude shot, even for just a split second, and next thing you know he’s pausing and zoomin on his DVD player to get a closer look so he can bust a nut to his favorite celeb nude scene. You know, pretending the bitch is in the room with him or some shit.

Lucky for us one of these losers actually took a screencap, and this is what they got of some bitch named Sarah Foster that no one’s ever heard about. I want you all to know that losers everywhere who fell in love with her on her Crossing Jordan episode have jerked off to this shit, thus making it the Celeb Nude Scan of the Day.

Real pussy can be hard to find, jerking off to blurry pics will always be there. I remember when I was too poor to buy or rent porn, have the internet, or meet bitches. I’d sit at home all day drinking and watching scrambled porn. I would probably jerk off twice a night to that shit, so your blurry masturbation material isn’t all that bad. I ain’t judging.

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