DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

14

Jun

Milf Monday of the Day

I know that I like to joke about the vaccine making everyone infertile, which could put me on some list of someone to cancel or ban, which would be funny, after all the inappropriate jokes I’ve made daily over the course of 17 years on this site, saying “vaccines could make women infertile” is going to be the one that gets me shut down….

Now I don’t know if there is science behind that, but since all the conspiracy theories over COVID have come true, I’ll run with it…..and if that is the case…MILFS will be a dying breed….not just because everyone is genderless and mothers will now be referred to as baby droppers….BD-ILFS which may be a bad acronym since BD means BIG DICK….and BIG DICK I’D LIKE TO FUCK is not what we are going for her….

MILFS are also a dying breed because girls can’t be bothered having kids, unless they can monetize them on their social media like a Kardashian, otherwise, they just get in the way of being degenerate pornographers who sell nudes…

Anyway, I used to think the concept of MILFs was crazy, even though I’d fuck anything, I never thought fucking a used car model of woman was the ideal scenario…but now that I am old and women my age are dried up grannies, I can say, MILFs are better than dried up grannies, so let’s look at these MILFs…

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Posted in:Milf

2021

14

Jun

Charli XCX Bikini Top of the Day

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Charli XCX has made me realize that I am a wallet fucker…I know that I’ve had Chrissy Teigen’s army that I’ll assume is no more cuz the rest of the world realized she’s a fucking piece of shit….but there was a time, right before she got critically famous, that I never understood how that happened, but it happened…and at that time she called me out for being some pervert degenerate predator or some shit that was obviously NOT true and it was all because I made fun of her for being a wallet fucker…a low life, overrated, pile of fat sadness wallet fucker, where clearly John Legend was using her as a beard cuz I heard rumors he used to date Kanye, or was in too deep and got paid heavily after meeting her and felt she was part of his success….and the divorce would be too expensive….

Anyway, the reason I am a wallet fucker is because I thought Charli XCX was some overrated night club act that was barely famous…I saw her in her leotards and thought “she’s got tits” but that they were more of the bottom feeding variety…

As it turns out, she recently spent 5.1 million dollars on a mansion in LA with a recording studio in it….and I thought…this bitch has at least enough money to buy at 5 million dollar home….even with a mortgage she’d be making 25k payments per month…meaning she’s way more legit than I thought…

So that makes me looking at her bikini boobs, probably at a mansion, far more fun and exciting cuz they are rich and famous even though you think she’s barely famous…fascinating how that works…

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Posted in:Charli XCX

2021

14

Jun

Eva Amurri Bikini of the Day

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When the moon hits my eye like a big piece of pie that’s Amurri or some shit…right…

Eva Amurri has a ridiculously hot body despite being in her mid 30s and a mom of 3, it’s ridiculous…and I am a fan of whatever the fuck this brushing her lymphatic system out like the girls of Instagram do, because she’s doing it in lingerie….

She’s a divorcee, clearly ready to mingle, or at least use those big titties for good not evil and I remember when she dabbled in the whole acting thing, back on Californication with her tits out, only to find out she was Susan Sarandon’s daughter…

Now I have a celebrity daughter fetish, I think the hot daughters of celebs, who are celebs in their own right thanks to their moms are amazing….even the ugly ones..I’m talking to you Rumer….you heartbreaker…except for Kate Hudson, who is the one celebrity daughter I don’t like, but arguably the first celebrity daughter to get me into the celebrity daughter thing before she was officially famous or acting, back when she was in an Architectural Digest with her mom at 18 years old…I thought “This girl’s good”..until being exposed to her shittiness through her acting inspiring Owen Wilson to kill himself…

Anwyay, this is not about them, this is about Divorcee mom of three looking awesome half naked doing some bullshit influencer shit as they do for an excuse for us to stare at the titties!

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Posted in:Eva Amurri

2021

14

Jun

Inbar Lavi Topless of the Day

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I don’t know if anyone gives a fuck about Inbar Lavi, or ???? ?????, but she’s an Israeli actress who left her mark on American in 2012 on an MTV show called Underemployed that I guess was a real hit, then she was on Prison Break, then Imposters and then in some shit called LUCIFER.

But you should give a fuck about Inbar Lavi…as she poses topless with a cigarette in mouth in an era where not enough people post pics of themselves smoking…despite everyone posting pics of themselves topless…

She’s 34 and not showing us her nipples which is too bad….because toplessness without nipples is not toplessness at all even if she’s technically topless….maybe this is more a picture to showcase her strong chin….or her weird fucking prison tattoo….and what it comes down to is I’d prefer if it was a picture to showcase her anus….

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Posted in:Inbar Lavi

2021

14

Jun

Jade Chynoweth Braless of the Day

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Jade Chynoweth’s got her Fringed Jacket on with nothing underneath, which should get all the cowboys out there pretty excited, because despite being a trained dancer living that LA life, being cast in shitty movies, and as back up dancers for shitty pop acts, she’s doing the whole “straight from the heartland” ready to kick some shit and ride into the sunset to find her herd….I mean not quite in those shoes and I don’t think those panties / bikini bottoms would really be a good protection against whatever kind of ticks her horse has, you know a direct line to the cunt…but it would make for good content…not that her being half naked in a fringed cowboy jacket in the woods is bad content, I just like a bit more action than dramatic poses…in fact…I fucking hate dramatic model poses for social media…you look like an asshole…no one stands like this unless they are posing…and posing in and of itself is trying too hard…yet, if she was to actually do a dance, or ride a horse, or teach us some lasso roping skills on a barrel in this outfit…there’d be a point beyond seeing some dancing tits you never heard of…

I just think this could have been better, but I’ll post what she’s got, cuz she’s in panty bottoms and showing tits…even though as a dancer…we’d probably prefer more ass…

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Posted in:Jade Chynoweth

2021

14

Jun

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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From my ignorant, uneducated perspective, I will say that COVID has taught me one important thing and that is that Medical Workers are full of shit idiots who think they know more than they do because doctors have these God Complexes, think they are brighter than most because they went to school longer than most, but that just means they are capable of memorizing at reciting what they’ve memorized….it doesn’t mean they are actually intelligent, no matter how much money they make doing it..

I have gone to doctors and none have the answers, they all tell you not to read WEBMD but WEBMD has better research than they do…so when you go in cuz you’re shitting yourself, they can’t actually think through what it is you have, they order tests or are just heavy handed on the prescription pad….since their whole existence and schooling is designed to write prescriptions with basically poison that everyone takes thinking it will fix them…

The only anti-biotics you should take is after pissing fire from some prostitute you didn’t use a condom with cuz condoms are for pussies….and even then, I’d suggest letting it run its course to see if your dick falls off like it’s a Weinstein…

The point is that the heroes they tell us are heroes aren’t actually heroes…not during COVID where they pretended to be scared to milk the attention they were getting and not before covid when they’ve let people die due to bad medical advice…it happens daily….cuz when you have people who think they are smarter than God….you have people making brazen decisions for idiots who just go along with it….

They say trust science, but I don’t…..so I don’t trust the legal drug dealers pushing science on us…especially when they live in mansions and own yachts because of it….

Remember the Opiate crisis, without shitty doctors, that’d never happen….

So when you look at these FRONT LINE heroes, remember that they may not be heroes, at least not before they chose to get naked on the internet, which may sound far more simplistic than saving lives, is actual hero work, because there was a time people weren’t self involved exhibitionist perverts and it may have been a happier time, but it was also a time I saw way less stranger pussy…and I am into stranger pussy…

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Posted in:NURSES

2021

14

Jun

Kaili Thorne Fucks a Dildo of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Back in 2012 when I redesigned the site from the pile of shit it was back then, to the pile of shit it is now, I had a NSFW filter built to block out any NSFW content, it was my attempt to get MAINSTREAM ADS…because I thought maybe there was a chance I’d get Rockstar Games or some other edgy brands to support the making fun of shitty celebrities…it didn’t work, advertisers found my writing vile and offensive, a lot thought it was some stepfamily fetish site where the stepfather was some kinds of rapist, and the whole thing basically backfired…

So I never bothered using the NSFW filter that I thought was so technologically advanced…..which for me it was because I barely know how to upload an image to the website….

Anyway, I am using that filter today, because a girl using a dildo is NSFW even on a site with no ads that I’ve basically been misidentified as a pornographer, which I am not..unless you consider STEPSMUT porn….where I just think it’s documentarian work…following the pop culture trends…

Anyway, Kaili Thorne is not Bella’s full sister, but I guess they have the same father and since the father died, Bella’s family have taken her in as one of their own…but unlike the others, Kaili never really popped off as a Disney Star, so instead she went straight to sex on the internet when the opportunity arose which in a lot of ways is probably less perverted than working in the Hollywood industry..

She definitely isn’t quite what you’d want from Bella Thorne’s sister, I mean the dyking out part is great, the dildo use great, maybe it is precisely what you’d want out of Bella Thorne’s sister….she’s just not quite as hot, interesting, or relevant as Bella, but rather just using the name as hard as she can to get what she wants…

I don’t know when all girls wanted to do porn, but I am glad they do…and if you’re into this kind of content, and you should be, you should go show her support cuz the Thorne connection makes her far better than all the randoms who aren’t related to an industry sweetheart like Bella by default…

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Posted in:Kaili Thorne|NSFW

2021

14

Jun

Malu Trevejo Titties of the Day

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Malu Trevejo is a TikTok Sensation…she was one of the most followed people on the app before it became TikTok….when it was just some lip synching app for tweens…which I guess it may still be…I would never put that shit on my phone but people I talk to seem to say it’s not as censored as the other American apps, which is weird since it’s owned by Communist China, but I guess we are all already owned by Communist China anyway, so I should just hop right in….because to think Zuckerberg isn’t tracking the same data or google or any of these fucks is ridiculous…they are all in it together and we are sitting on the wrong fucking side of the table..

Anyway, Malu Trevejo was the most followed before celebs got in on it, I don’t know if she’s got record deals because of her lip synching but I assume she does, I do know that she got Fake tits for her 18th birthday and launched an only fans where people pay for her nudes, and if you’re into 18 year old TikTok Sensations who may have record deals selling nudes, you can google her and find that shit to sign up to it….because this is clearly the direction all pop entertainment is going….all these girls on their monetization kick selling nudes…it’s weird, but it’s what I hoped for, so I am glad to witness it in my lifetime…

Everybody get naked.

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Posted in:Malu Trevejo

2021

14

Jun

McKayla Maroney Cleavage of the Day

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McKayla Maroney was the 16 year old gymnast that the world sexualized at 16 when she won her Olympic Gold medal, which I guess she was used to since she was a victim of that creepy fuck doctor Larry, who I still blame the Gymnastic parents for ignoring his creepiness because all they saw was the Olympic gold in the horizon, which I guess for a parent, or stage parent who sees talent in their kid and commits their 16 year life to honing that talent, makes them blind to a guy who would finger these girls when they had knee or ankle injuries….how that went unnoticed….I’ll never know, but thankfully the pervert is out fingering dicks in prison…as they do…

At the time that she first went viral, no one knew she had been abused….and it was long before she was paid off for being abused, but clearly the people of the internet were excited by her…

She’s now 25, no longer a gymnast, but I’ve always found gymnasts to be creepily built midgets with scary broad shoulders, and really all we care about is their flexbility, which we’ll assume Maroney still has despite not being in training….or at the Olympic level….you know muscle memory still allows her to eat herself out…

I guess being off the hormones they all probably take for performance enhancement to be at that Olympic level is also out of her system, cuz girl’s got titties…

So victim of abuse, with too much filler in her lips, looking instagram, is an Olympic hero and a survivor and you should encourage her and celebrate her by staring at her tits…

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Posted in:McKayla Maroney

2021

14

Jun

Milky Boobs Monday of the Day

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It’s pretty funny to think that all these female empowerment groups like free the nipple, who are fighting the dumbest fight of giving women the freedom to pull out their tits, when I know that it’s not illegal in parts of canada for women to walk around topless, as it shouldn’t be….we like tits, tits are great, show us your tits…

But these titty flashers, who feel oppressed because they can’t post tit pics on instagram, have decided there’s some attack on the natural process of breast feeding their child in public, which is why their tit pics get deleted…

I will say that I’ve known and seen moms over the better part of my entire life, who have all pulled their tits out in restaurants, bars, some brothels, strip clubs, basically anywhere a milk filled tit lives….to feed their offspring…we are animals, that’s how it is done, and I find it very hard to believe that women feel shame in all this, at a level where they need to organize protests, and sell titty merch to fund their cause…

No one fucking cares if you feed your baby, plus with the vaccine, the whole being a mother, which is now called BIRTHING PERSON, as we live in the Handmaid’s Tale….and women are no longer women or mothers…but the people who bring us new life now that the vaccinated are all infertile…

So Milky Tits are something that may or may not be left in the unvaccinated prison camps they are building…..feeding the babies they pump out and deliver to the eager families dying to have children but unable to have children….

Figure it the fuck out fools….and here’s some milky tits to inspire you on that quest….

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Posted in:Lactating