The highlight of my day was trying to convince a girl I know who clearly just got breast implants to show me her scars, because scars are all part of the process and I like experiencing the process…you know it’s the journey not the destination… The fail of my day was that the girl I […]

30 day facebook ban for making jokes about very bad things because I was a very bad man who has a very bad sense of humor. But luckily I have been reformed thanks to the facebook penal system. I now know how to behave in accordance to facebook etiquette. I know what they deem appropriate. […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 11.5 in Facebook Jail Don’t Forget My OSCARS SO WHITE SHOOT HERE That’s what I do when I am in Facebook Jail… I make MEMES no one gives a fuck about… It’s the Facebook jail version of printing license plates, only with more naked under 25 year […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 10.5 in Facebook Jail I realized that only 1 person out of all my FB friends realized that I am not posting on Facebook… If that’s not some serious social media clout and/or influence, I don’t know what is… I’m a fucking influencer, that one person relies […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 5.5 in Facebook Jail I am not immune or blinded by the news in facebook jail, I am alienated from an evil platform but that is not being alienated from life, so I’ve heard than another evil corporation with the power to spy on all of us […]

I like to give girls bad relationship advice, because apparently, I am that shoulder to cry on for people everywhere, so I like to give the I think when things are done they are done – but don’t listen to me – I may just want to get in your pants…level of doubt… “Is he […]

I’ve been sexting since it was called CYBERING… I used to pretend to be a girl and sext dudes, like a creep who found comedy in making dudes jerk off to me pretending to be a 14 year old girl who takes them to garden shed where I make them fuck me with a screwdriver […]

People are really into David Bowie…some of my favorite feminists want you to Remember when Lori Maddox and Sable Starr (the inspiration of kate hudson’s character in almost famous) had a threesome with him when they were 13 and 14? Groupies….Right? CLICK HERE ….while other people defend fucking 13 year olds and celebrate his work […]

I play the gay best friend until…I get their confidence, their trust…and then I move in… Like that time I used to prank call and ring the buzzer at the house of a girl I wanted to fuck….and who I had spent 2 weeks befriending…at 5 am…las week so that when she got scared, she’d […]